• • •

Farya

" Love will be our saviour"

I remember the day Nourie had told me that. The bold statement the woman made had intrigued the five year old, and I found myself asking Nourie what love was again and again.

To that Nourie just smiled and shook her head. Wrapping me in her arms, she kissed my head and murmured, her soft voice filling my ears.

" Love is what makes you live. When you find your love, you will be complete. Like a puzzle"

She had said, a far away look on her face making me smile and hold her arm tightly. Insisting that I will be complete if she took me to Disneyland.

She had pinched my cheeks and said her goodnight, before leaving the small lamp on and walking out of the room. That had been the earliest memory I ever had.

It was a happy memory, that would be carried with me to the end of days.

I had grown up with the idea that I'd find true love one day, that it'll be all okay and I'd be complete when I find him. My mother, such as she is, was never at home, and Nourie was almost like my Mum, she was my rock, my haven and there was nothing in this world that I wouldn't give for her to be here. To have her arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly in this storm.

The world around me was spinning and it almost felt like the ground underneath me would pull me in, swallowing me inside.

My throat constructed and I felt black dots invade my vision. A slight tremor started through my bones, crawling up my feet and towards my knee caps and almost as if a sledge hammer was slammed against the bone, I felt my balance tip slightly.

There was a hollow like silence in each corner and despite it all, my ear drums were on the verge of being ripped from all the noise around me.

An eerie like silence came across the large room, yet I couldn't focus on the reactions I received when I felt a low sob ripping from my mouth, nor could I focus on how I managed to walk towards the man in front of me and feel my hand connecting against his cheeks, in the gathering of men.

All I could see was my brothers lifeless eyes stare at me, whilst I cradled his lifeless body. Screaming for him to wake up. In the background, through the storm swirling through my head. I could hear Ferhat speaking, disgust evident in his words.

" You let a woman raise her hand on you. Are you not a man"

He had yelled at his nephew, urging for him to raise his hand and strike me yet all he did was stare at me. A dark look swarming in his eyes and an emotionless look on his face.

Falling to my knees, I felt my body shake. The sounds of broken sobs echoing across the large room echoing all around.

" ... And you'd count yourself lucky. If it was me, I'd have his head cut"

Ferhat had commented in the background as I felt my stomach turning, bile raising at the back of my throat at the hatred seeping through his words.

" Tell her how you did. Tell her"

Ferhat continued as I felt all the energy drain out of my body, tears that once blurred my vision, were now filled with black dots as I felt the sound of footsteps behind me.

Looking upwards, I could see Ferhat standing beside me, the mans cold blue eyes trained on me and in a split of a moment, I could see his hand reach towards me, ready to strike, when a larger hand gripped on it. Stopping his movements.

" Not her"

Moustafa spoke as Ferhat icy chuckle echoed through the four walls around us yet I no longer recognised his words. It almost felt like as though my hearing was gone, everything within was disappearing away and all that remained were broken memories, settling with the dust.

" They injected every fucking drug they could find and what did he ask for? You"

" Please stop!"

" No! You will listen. When they drugged him. Each single part of him, we bathed it with blood but it looked like drug use"

Ferhat spoke as I felt my body shaking, cold sweat developing through my neck and down my body as something warm flowed through my lips.

This was a horrible nightmare. This couldn't be true.

Wake up Farya!

Wake up

Moustafa who once stood quietly moved past Ferhat and reach towards me, his strong hands holding on to my arms, squeezing them tightly.

Staring towards at the man, something within ripped, almost like a fallen star making contact against the harsh floor. The glass protecting its light now forced to break in to pieces as the wishes of man trapped within floated against the winds, never to be seen again.

That's what I felt when I looked in to those eyes, when I stared at all those dreams I built in them. Scattering away.

Pushing against his hold, I stumbled back a little losing my balance seeing a shocked look come across Moustafa's face, almost as if he was seeing his world crash around him, and he remained utterly helpless.

" Why?"

I whispered, the sound coming out barely audible as it got louder and louder till it was the only question that rang through the large cottage.

" Y-You planned all this! You wanted this to happen" I spoke like a mad woman seeing Moustafa's jaw tighten, his eyes blazing with fury.

" You wanted to get revenge from day one. Didn't you Moustafa"

I yelled limping towards him, my small hands gripping against his shirt as I pulled on to it harshly, seeing the man barely move.

" Stop Farya"

" Stop? Stop! You killed my brother and you want me to stop!"

I screeched like a maniac feeling my body shake, with anger and defeat merged together as the man before me closed his eyes tightly, inhaling a deep breath.

Glancing around me, I stared at Adam, who tried his best averting his gaze and then towards Murat who stared at me emotionless, as he is, and then towards Kenan who remained in the corner. His face red and his eyes bottled with glistening tears.

" You all knew didn't you? Every single one of you knew"

I spoke broken feeling tears slip down my cheeks, and my body turn colder by the second, almost as if I'd pass out, and that's what I wanted in that moment. For darkness to take me away, far far away from here, from them.

It was as though I no longer remained in charge of my body, and a force of it's own had taken over when I found myself reaching towards the small vase on the table. Raising it above my head I threw it on the floor, hearing it shatter in to pieces in the eerie quiet room.

I held on to the glass sculpture of birds beside the table and threw it straight across the room hearing it shatter, missing Moustafa by an inch.

All I wanted, was to them to see how my world was destroyed. How they all destroyed it. How the man I thought I loved destroyed my soul within.

I wanted to scream, so loud, that even the heavens and the earth will be forced to hear it and that's what I did. I screamed so loud that I feared my vocal chords would rip. I screamed so loud that I could even find myself turning dead from the haunting sound. And when I stopped, it almost felt like a battlefield. Like the world just stopped and gave me a moment, just a moment to take everything in.

Looking upwards at Moustafa, I felt his dark grey eyes stare at me, seeing hundreds of emotions flood through them. Reaching towards the broken glass on the floor, I found myself sliding it across my hand as warm metallic fluid came out, bathing my once pale skin with scarlett.

Swiping my hand across the floor, I could see blood decorate the wood beneath me as I spoke, my voice barely coming out, yet I knew they heard me. They were forced to hear me.

" God be my witness, that the blood you spilt from my brother, from me, will never let peace come in to your home"

And with those words I found an unimaginable strength and stood up, despite my shaky knees I found myself standing up. Reaching towards the ring plastered on my finger, it fell on to the floor with a small clink.

Staring at the man I once called my husband, I felt the images from the day I saw him flash before me. At the Hagia Sophia, and I cursed that day for ever existing.

Walking towards the door, I could hear Ferhat yelling for Moustafa to stop me. To not let me go yet I proceeded forward, feeling my legs shaky and the world around me spinning.

Like a mad woman, I walked out of the cottage and on to the pavement seeing the men from earlier give me mixed reactions, yet that didn't matter because all I wanted was the world to split open and swallow me inside. For the black sea to take me away from here and in to the land of the unknown.

It was Kenan who rushed behind me, who pulled me up and made me sit in the car. It was him that drove me across the country, to my final destination. A place where I could call home. A place that was all mine.

He brought me to Ovacik, to the house my brother left for me.

Kenan had arranged it all, he had called Deniz on the way and arranged for the house to be all set up for my arrival. And the minute the car came to a stop, I felt my eyes lingering on the large white house before me, a step away from the beach.

The sound of the waves crashing and seagulls floating around filled my ears and in that moment. I felt my body crash, my world swallowing me in as I cried, as much as I could. I cried to the sea for my brother, I cried to sea for Nourie and for all the pain it had given me.

Deniz had been the one to pick me up from the floor, holding me bridal style as he took me towards the large house. Opening the small black gate, the sunshine pounded against us as I felt the world around me shrink by the passing second. Taking me away in the unknown and that's when darkness greeted me.

Pulling me in to its arms.

• •

I don't know how I woke up, or when I woke up, but the sounds of seagulls crying and the distant waves crashing made me question whether I had died and gone to heaven, but the thought dispersed the minute it came, because I knew I hadn't gone to heaven.

Heaven didn't feel like a boulder had been smashed against your head and your body, nor did heaven feel like glass shards had been shoved down your throat. Through all the pain that surrounded me, I found my gaze flickering upwards and landing on the white ceiling. Travelling downwards, it landed on the double french doors, overlooking a balcony and giving a perfect view of the sea.

Glancing to the side, I realised that the unfamiliar room was simple, with just a bed and a white door near the window, probably leading to a bathroom and another door opposite the window and despite it all,

For the first time, I felt at home.

Sitting upwards, I groaned a little feeling my head spinning. Inhaling a sharp breath, my chest ached a little as the sounds of footsteps echoed and the next thing I knew, the door towards the room was opened and a handsome man walked inside.

His golden brown hair was brushed backwards, and there was a small stubble on his face. The once leather jacket he wore was now swapped for a black shirt and pants, making him look more mature.

" Deniz"

I murmured looking upwards at the man as he stared at me, a look of longing flashing across his eyes before he smiled, sitting on the bed.

" Hey Fairy" He spoke making me choke back a sob as warm tears filled my eyes and I felt the events from earlier rush through me, like a tornado. Hitching in a breath, I felt my arms wrap around the man all of a sudden as he held me tightly. His strong arms moulding against my body perfectly.

" I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you"

Deniz spoke placing a kiss on my temple as I shook my head. Unable to form any words out. A moment passed by, with Deniz arms wrapped around me till he released the embrace.

Glancing upwards at him, Deniz tried smiling despite himself as he lightly stroked my cheeks. His eyes flashing with hundreds of emotions.

" I'll need to get the doctor up here again" Deniz spoke making me glance at him weirdly but nonetheless say nothing as the man stood up and disappeared out of the room.

A minute or two must have passed as Deniz came back and this time with an older looking man in a simple grey shirt and black pants and a black bag in his hands.

" Farya, this is Doctor Emran. He's been monitoring your health" Deniz introduced as I glanced at Doctor Emran seeing the man give me a kind smile before he pulled a chair beside the bed and sat down.

All of a sudden, there was a certain heaviness to the room as I felt a cold shiver trickle down my spine, and my arms and legs turning heavy.

" You've been out for a month. Luckily, Deniz here has hired the best of doctors for your treatment so you were taken care of very well"

Doctor Emran spoke making me stare at the man weirdly. I've been out for a month. That's impossible, how could that be? Yet as I glanced at Deniz, the man confirmed my suspicions as he nodded. Making me swallow sharply.

Doctor Emran gave me a kind smile, but the kind where it made your stomach turn knowing the words he was going to say would turn your world upside down.

" How have you been feeling, before you were here did you find yourself feeling a little dizzy, out of breath?"

Doctor Emran started making me glance towards the man seeing him glance down at a small chart he was holding in his hand.

" I- er can't recall"

" Did you feel your vision turn blurry, almost like black dots covering your eyes?" The man asked making me nod as he sighed softly, looking towards Deniz, the man had his hand holding on to his jaw as he gave me a sad look. Making my stomach drop.

" I know before, when you were in Vancouver that you went through a lot of treatment and luckily, you were better, I've ran some tests ever since you came back and unfortunately-"

Doctor Emran started as I felt the energy in my body leave me all of a sudden. My bones felt heavy and I could feel a metallic like taste splurge down my throat as I stared towards Deniz seeing a lone tear slip down his eyes.

" It's come back and but we'll try our very best, to take care of the both of you"

Doctor Emran spoke as I felt tears run down my face whilst I looked bewildered at the man.

I remember Nourie once telling me a story of a brave knight, who sacrificed his life for his country and I wanted to be as brave as that knight, to know death was guaranteed but so was success, yet as Doctor Emran spoke. I no longer wanted to be brave like that knight, I didn't want to sacrifice myself. I wanted to be normal, like everyone else.

" I apologise, what I'm trying to say is Ms.Khizan. Your Cancer cells have emerged again, and you're also, pregnant"

• • •

THIS IS FARYA'S TRUTH !

Wow! Who was expecting that?

Anyone?

Anyone at all?

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Thank you all so much for taking the time to read

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