《Covered Edges》Chapter 25
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The door slams shut behind me. I flop onto my bed, brooding to myself, and try to control my emotions. I'm all over the place but still as a stone as well. Anger, confusion, and annoyance are consuming me, and I can feel my composure slipping. A slow stream of tears starts to make a path down my cheeks. I don't feel like I'm crying, but yet I am. I guess my body is just trying to find a way to escape my mind.
I let my expectations and hopes get the best of me, and now I'm suffering the disappointing consequences. I told myself I was over him, but I always knew I wasn't. However, now I have no hope left, so I suppose I'll finally be able to move on.
The door creaks open. I clutch onto the nearest pillow and smash it against my face while mumbling, "Go away..."
I don't know who came in, and I don't care. I just want them to leave. Apparently, that's too much to ask for because I feel the cushion being tugged out of my grasp and lifted over my head before I can oppose.
"You look rough," Quentin mutters while giving me a weak smile.
"I feel worse."
He plops himself onto my bed and pats a spot next to him, beckoning me to move.
"Come here Beautiful, tell Quin all about it."
So that's what I do. I rest my head on his lap and tell him every agonizing detail while he softly pets my hair.
"...And then I came in here and basked in my despair," I end my monologue.
"Yep, Damon pulled a total dick-move tonight, and I wouldn't even consider forgiving him anytime soon. However, it also sounds like he had a lot of pent up rage for you leaving him, so I wouldn't completely burn him yet. Give him some time and see if he apologizes. I think he was more so hurt about losing you than just blatantly disregarding you."
"I don't know Quin, he seemed pretty oblivious to any feelings towards me. I really think I am just another chick to him now, just another number."
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"I'm not going to try to argue this with you tonight. What you need is something to take your mind off things. Want me to invite the girls over and we can have a movie night and I can go pick up a calzone?"
I smile up at him, "That sounds great."
* * * * * * * * * * *
Halfway through our movie, and all the way through our calzone, a knock vibrates off my door. We all look at each other, questioning whether either of us are expecting anyone. Another knock, much more forceful this time, brings me to my feet. I walk over and turn the handle, but the door is pushed open by whoever's on the other side.
My face twists in disgust, "What are you doing here?"
Damon's frantic eyes shine out against his blank demeanor, "I need to tell you something."
"Whatever it is, keep it to yourself," I command harshly and try to close the door.
His hand darts out and holds it open, "It's important, Scarlett!"
"I...don't...care," I say through gritted teeth, pushing harder against the frame and losing.
"Damon, I think it's better if you just leave for now," I hear Quentin's worried voice behind me.
Damon lets go of the door and just stares at me. After a few seconds, he lets out a throaty growl of aggravation and runs his hands through his hair before stomping away. I close the door and slide down against it. Sitting with my knees to my chest, I feel Quentin nudge me and bob his head towards the window.
"What?" I ask.
"Let's go to our spot and take a breather."
I nod in agreement, and Anna and Olivia give me reassuring smiles before we leave.
Once we reach the bench, I slouch into the wood and he sits neatly with his legs crossed. We don't speak--he knows me well enough to just let me cool off--instead we sit and enjoy the breeze and the moonlight reflecting off of the water. After awhile, I'm docile and relaxed, so I turn to him and give him a gentle, "Thank you."
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"My pleasure."
Suddenly, an important question I've been meaning to ask pops back into my head.
"Oh yeah! How did your date go?"
His eyes light up and his whole face transforms into glee, "It went spectacularly! He's so kind and sweet and shy, which I find adorable, and he has these marvelous blue eyes which are strange considering most Spanish guys have darker eyes. It was just great."
I giggle, amused by his transfiguration, "What's his name?"
"Issac," he says in an airy, daydreaming tone.
I smile, happy for Quin. I hear the rustle of a tree as another breeze blows through, and I look towards it. I watch as the leaves shutter and dance to the wind, all solitary in their designated spot, yet undeniably moving. Then, I watch one break off and leave its spot. I watch it catch the gust and continue towards us until it lands atop the glistening blanket. The water carries it towards me until it breaches the shore and lies on the grassy bank, finally at rest. I look back to the branch it fell from and noticed the now still leaf pair that this leaf was attached to. No sorrow or heartache is apparent of the lonely leaf, lost of it's partner. It just rests in its spot and follows the breeze.
I can't help but feel an attachment to the little leaf resting by the pond. And as ridiculous as it sounds, I feel like the leaf and I are the same: we both had our routine spot, but now we're catching our own breeze and following our own path, even if it hurts to leave the others behind.
I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. So, when Quentin asks, "Are you okay?" I answer honestly.
"Yes."
It's time to catch the wind of greater things and forget my need for an unchanging routine. Because life isn't a routine, and it's always changing, so I better throw them away and start living.
I tell Quentin that I'm fine and wouldn't mind some time to just think, so he hugs me and leaves. It slowly gets darker, if that's possible, and I begin to feel the night consume me. The dark wraps around me like a blanket and it's comforting. The campus has effectively cleared out with a few stranglers walking to their dorms. It must be past curfew, I hadn't realized how long I'd stayed out here.
Standing up, I brush off my legs and decide to finally go back to my room. I turn around, only to see Levi waiting on the sidewalk.
"What are you doing out here?" I question.
"You know, you're such a tease, Scarlett."
"Excuse me?"
"I've been trying to get with you for months now, but every time you reject me with this little glimmer in your eye, like you're mocking me."
His feet drag tediously on the ground as he makes his way towards me.
"And just when I think I've finally cracked your shell, your little boy toy shows up."
He's a couple feet away from me now and all I notice is the heavy stench of alcohol. My pulse picks up.
"You're drunk Levi, why don't you go back to your room and sleep."
"Why don't you go fuck yourself, huh?"
I can see the corner of his eye twitching and I really start to worry: lack of control and alcohol are two things I definitely don't want to see together with Levi.
"Levi, you don't know what you're saying. Let me help you back to your room."
I motion to his dorm. While he's distracted by looking at where I'm pointing, I pull out my phone and swiftly text Quentin:
A hand roughly grabs my wrist and yanks it away from my eyes. I curse, in pain and panic, as I stumble into Levi. I'm standing on my toes because he has my arm stretched so high in the air above us.
"Who are you texting?" he demands.
"N-nobody."
He grips my arm tighter and I wince.
"I've broken this wrist before, 'nd I can do it ss'gan," he slurs.
It's as if the night has completely washed away because, now, fear is the only thing that has consumed me.
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