7.

Mat kissed me.

Mathew kissed me last night.

He kissed me.

Oh my god, what's that supposed to mean?

I've been spending the last two hours in my bed contemplating about what happened last night after we got home from the New York Islander's team dinner.

Why did he kissed me?

Well, I'm not just contemplating about the good night kiss but also the whole night. He's been holding my hands the entire time, placing his hands on my hips, kissing my cheeks every chance he gets and he was so handsy the entire night.

Goddamn it!

This shit is bugging me that I barely even have enough sleep. Thankfully, it's still Sunday or else I'll be going to work like a zombie for having no enough sleep.

It's already ten in the morning when I decided to get out of my room. I poured myself a cup of tea in the mini kitchen secretly thanking that Mat is still on practice.

Because if he wasn't, I might address something that wasn't there in the first place, and that is asking what's going on between us.

Which is kind of bullshit thinking that no matter how I try to create certain premises there's definitely nothing going on between us.

Mat's gestures last night was definitely being a grateful friend.

Then what about the kiss?

The kiss was nothing but a good night thank you kiss. It's just the stupid in me who wants to make it more than just a friendly vibe, that's all!

As I busied myself on the kitchen finally decided to make myself a breakfast, a sudden noise coming from Mat's room catched my attention. Is he around?

It's still ten, usually they got home at around twelve.

The noises coming from his room are still echoing and it's strange since Mat has never been this noisy before. So I decided to come check it out, the door is slightly open so I slowly entered the room.

"Barzy?" I called but no one answered.

I continue getting inside his room only surprised by a naked girl lying on his bed. I squeaked completely surprised about what I just saw.

The girl also screamed covering herself with the comforters looking at me outrageously. "Who are you?" She immediately demanded.

I blinked twice, thrice--or even a couple of times trying to decipher what was going on.

"No one!" I quickly answered because that's the only words I can formulate right now and I abruptly run out of the room closing the door behind me.

Holy shit!

There's a fucking naked woman on his room.

It was Pauline!

How dare is he? After all the sweet gestures, the kissing and all that, making me as a date to get rid of Pauline and then all of a sudden he still decided to screw her while I was asleep?

Motherlicker!

I went straight to my room to pack my things, I'm spending the rest of the day at Collin's place. Oh my god! I can't even imagine looking at Mathew right now.

I am so pissed.

I didn't bother to take a shower, I just changed into some biker shorts and an oversized Led Zeppelin shirt, tying my hair on a bun as I text Collins I'm staying at his place today.

I ordered an Uber on my way downstairs. I'm not using Ander's car because I'm planning not to be home until tomorrow or maybe until Mat leaves the house to be on the road.

I literally don't want to see that asshole's face!

As I reach the main living room, I saw Tori's wondering face asking me what happened upstairs.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said and continue walking aiming for the door. "Find out yourself."

"Oh, did Pauline scared you?" She asked, of course she knew who exactly Pauline was.

No. She pissed me off big time! And Barzal too!

"Wait--where are you going? What's with all the bags?" Tori added looking at the big bag I carry with me. Yup! I just packed a lot of clothes good enough to last for one week.

"I--I'm spending the day at Collins place and I'm going to uhm.. a trip. Business trip. I won't be home until--I don't know."

Because I can't fathom the idea on being in one place with Mathew right now.

I didn't wait for my cousin to respond when my Uber finally arrived. I need to get out of here ASAP right before Mat comes back.

"Anyway, my Uber's here. I gotta go, bye!" I said kissing Tori on the cheeks and head out.

When I settled on the backseat of the car, that was the time everything just sink into my system. I didn't even notice that I was already crying not until the Uber driver hand me a box of Kleenex to wipe my tears off.

"Thank you! I'm sorry." I said to the middle-aged man.

"It happens all the time." He said on sympathetic tone. "Just pretend I'm not here."

And I did.

Fuck! I didn't even know why I am crying right now. Mathew's not my boyfriend, so I should never feel like I was being cheated on.

Damnit! Why am I so stupid?

See, this is the reason why I don't want to be in a relationship or go out with someone I like because I always end up being disappointed.

I don't want to be in a relationship because I don't want to be cheated on or being lied to. I don't want to engage on flings and what not because I am weak and easily fell for the wrong person. Which is obviously what's happening in the moment.

I was then distracted when my phone beeps, a notification from Instagram pops up. And as I open the app, Collins tagged me on a post from the New York Islanders account.

As I check on it, it was a photo of me and Mat last night. And I cried again, Mat and I looked like a happy couple right here but the truth is we are way too farther than that.

Then a numerous texts coming from Collins floods in.

Collins: y didn't u tell me about this hockey player of urs?

Collins: i need a full report on my desk once u get here.

Collins: & I need to meet this guy. Keeping secrets with me now, huh?

I managed to shoot him a text back.

: it's definitely not wat u think. I'll explain everything later.

When Collin's opened his door for me when I arrived on his apartment, I easily walked towards him and hug him real tight.

"Aww girl." He said rubbing my back trying real hard to make me calm because I am crying big time. "What's going on?"

I didn't answered Collins as he lead me to his living room. We settled in there as he let me cry my fucking tears on his shoulder as he rubs my back. He let me cry for good long minutes, and when he sense that I am getting calmer, he started talking.

"You don't have to tell me what happened because I already know what's up." He declared which earned a snort from me.

I haven't mentioned Mat to Collins before but we've been friends for many years, long enough for him to know that every time I do this kind of drama, it is all because of a goddamn guy.

"You really are my best friend." I said looking at him and grab the box of Kleenex on the coffee table to blow my nose for the millionth time now, the tip of my nose absolutely hurts now I'm surprised it's not bleeding yet.

"Let me get an ice cream on the fridge first, then tell me what really happened." He said and live me to go to his kitchen

When he got back, he is holding a box of Ben and Jerry's and shove it on my hands together with a spoon. I immediately murdered the ice cream fully intending to make my ovaries buried deep on mint chocolate chip.

"I'm guessing this is all because of that hockey player, huh?" Collins started as he settled back on the couch facing me.

I nodded putting a spoon full of ice cream on my mouth still sobbing.

"He dumped you?" He started guessing. I shake my head because he's not even my boyfriend.

"It didn't work out?"

I shake my head because we clearly have nothing to work on.

"No? Okay." Collins continued. "You two had sex and you thought it's getting serious but he told you the next day that there are no strings attached?"

I choked on the ice cream. "What? No!" I responded coughing hard.

"He's interested with someone else?"

Touché.

I became silent and looked on my friends face, then he sighed. "Tell me about this guy and how did you met him. Tell me everything hun, and I'll go from there."

The next few minutes was me telling Collins about my situation and all the things Mat have done to me during the dinner last night, only to realize that after I said everything like a tale he laughed.

"What's so funny Collins?" I demanded staring on him in disbelief. What was so funny with that? "You're making me feel shittier than ever!"

He's still chuckling when he answered. "You didn't changed even a bit Jade. You're still the old Jade Kaufman I know who doesn't know how to handle boys."

I sighed.

Because I do think, I still am. I covered my face with both of my hands when I realized how awful my reaction to the situation was.

"I overreacted, didn't I?" I said not moving.

"Of course you did!" He blurted out. "You should be thankful he was not there to witness your exaggerated reaction. Or else he'll know you like him a lot."

"Then what's the matter of that?" I asked.

Collins rolled his eyes. "You really don't know how to play games, don't you?"

"I told you, hun. I don't play games."

"Well then you should start doing it then." He said standing up. "Now come on! I'm taking you home."

"No!" I immediately answered. "I'm not going back there yet. Maybe tomorrow I will but not now. I still don't want to see his face."

I think I totally did overreact. Jezz! Why am I so weak? And why do I haven't taken Collins advice about playing games? He's been giving me that kind of advice eversince college and I still didn't considered it.

Think this is the right time for that maybe?

Maybe I should.