His feet feels light yet the stomps sound heavy as he enters the train with clouded determination.

I'll never go back - I don't care where I'll end up, but I'm never going back!

Jungkook huffs heavy sighs when he sat in the near-empty compartment. It's close to 10pm and drizzling outside. The cold from the air-conditioned space and his half-damped hoodie had him shivering slightly, but he's too hot-headed to give it much attention. Every inch of his body screams anger and disappointment.

It's not like it's too much to ask! I didn't ask for a lot - if I win the money, it's to help them with the store anyway! They're just using the school as an excuse to not let me out of their sight! I hate them - I hate everything! My poor life, how everything's falling apart - they're not even gonna care if I ended up in the streets with no home or food!

A melodic humming interfered the curses in his mind, and Jungkook glanced to his left to find the culprit. Sitting 3 rows away from him is a girl - facing forward with a small smile on her lips. Her backpack rests nicely beside, with 2 books on top. She's wearing an expensive-looking headphone, and he knew she had nothing much to worry about in her life.

Everything on her looks rich. That pleated skirt looked like the ones they wore in private schools. The dark blue jumper with red and white lines on the neckline and wrists looked like it's from some geeky or athletic club. Even the side profile of her face looked expensive! What's a rich girl like her doing on a train this late in the night?

As if hearing the question-mark in his mind, she suddenly turns to glance at him. Feeling nervous all of a sudden, Jungkook looks away. He wanted to disappear, not end up in jail! The last thing he needs now is someone accusing him of any ill intentions!

Just don't think about it...then it won't happen. That's what mom always say. But then...I kept saying I'll get in the audition and win it...and look where I am now. Running away for the first time in my life...not knowing where I'll go. Is this it? How short of a time will it be until I beg for work...or money...or will I ended up go back home -

"Hello," The cheerful voice rang so close to his ear that Jungkook ended up leaning back a little, surprised at the sudden approach.

The same rich-looking girl is now beside him. Big, round eyes resting under perfectly-trimmed bangs are looking at him, paired with a big smile that squishes her cheeks up. Why? Why is she here? Why is she talking to me?

"Where you heading to?" She continued, oblivious to the uncomfortable vibe he's letting off.

Really, why is she talking to me - a stranger? Is she not scared? It's late, is she always this bold? It's okay...breathe...just ignore her - maybe she'll get the picture -

"You look like you're going somewhere far. Here," She unzipped her backpack. From the corner of his eyes, he watched her taking out a cloth that looked like it's knitted and noticed the inside of the bag filled with books. "To keep you warm,"

Jungkook stares at the grey, folded jumper, then at her - dumbfounded at the whole situation.

"It's gonna rain all night. See?" She points out to the glass window. "No signs of stars at all. It's really dark so it's gonna rain for a while. You must be cold -"

"I'm not," He answered quickly, still confused as to why this pretty, preppy stranger would even care.

"Your hands are shaking," It's partly amazing how she hadn't stopped smiling.

"It's not the cold," He lied again and looks away. What a weird night...I ran away from home cus the people I loved didn't care, while this unknown girl is trying. She should really mind her own business! What if I turned out to be some lunatic on the loose??

"I'll leave this here anyway...in case you change your mind," She left it in her seat after scooting to the next one.

Just then, the train pulled to a halt. Jungkook felt a whiff of cold breeze hitting his skin altogether, forcing his shoulders to shudder. I won't...I won't change my mind! Fuck - it's cold!

He glanced nervously at the knitted jumper - thinking how nice it would feel to be wrapped around it - then at the girl. She's back with her headphone on, staring straight ahead. I mean...she did leave it for me. That was her choice, she can't take it back. If she laughs, she laughs - why should I care, right?

With that thought in mind, he took the jumper and puts in on. There's a pleasant scent to it, and he instantly felt warmer the moment he pulled it down to his waist. Thank God it fits! There...nice and cosy... Well, at least I know I won't die of cold tonight! But wait - am I supposed to return it to her? She said it's gonna rain all night - that means it's not a loan, right? It's not right to just assume...should I ask? I should at least say 'thanks' -

"You're welcome," And she's back by his side.

Jeez - how is she reading me so easily??

"Thanks," He muttered.

She giggled and it took half a second for him to smile. She's really cute actually - "Ah, you cutie!" What? How - "Your dimples! You should smile often...I bet you're the cutest in your class!"

The sudden compliment left him speechless. There's not much to smile about when you grow up watching your parents marriage constantly tested. Much less to keep the poverty and sufferings inside. I'm hardly in the 'Top 10 Cutest' in my class - smile or not, that's guaranteed!

"How young are you?" She asked - which confused him because do I look so damn young that she thought I needed a company to board the train?? Is that why she's here - "I don't really like asking people how old they are...I feel the word 'old' might offend them. So how young are you?"

Oh... "Fifteeen,"

"Same as me!" She shrieked excitedly. The high-pitch of her voice made him jump a little in his seat. "There was an old barn in my mom's hometown. It used to belong to this old man before I was born. My mom said no one wanted to go through the hassle of tearing it down, but no one wanted to care for it either,"

What is she talking about now?

"It was empty, but on some season, the farmers would use it to store their harvests. On weeks when we visit, I would sneak in more during those times. A lot of fruits that I could just pick and eat. I almost got caught one time, but I hid really well...and stayed there for a whole night. My mom got so angry - she thought I was kidnapped or something, it was so funny!" She giggled.

Jungkook still have no clue as to why she's sharing this information, but he pays attention nevertheless. What else is there to do - being alone in a train to nowhere anyway?

"When they found out of my secret hideaway, my dad installed a lightbulb. Just one lightbulb, so I won't feel so scared in the dark. I was never scared but I didn't tell him that. I liked that he puts in the effort. Plus, it's funny to watch that big, old man climb the ladder!"

Is this the universe - God's way of talking him into going back home? It won't work!

"I had a phase...where I'd make bracelets out of my mom's yarns. I'd wear a different one every time I leave the house. Right before we moved, I ran as fast as I could to the barn and I left my bracelets at each corner of the barn - as if I wanted people to know that the place is claimed by someone. About a year later, it crossed my mind that whoever found it must've thought differently. As if there are girls being kidnapped and held hostage there,"

This girl giggles a lot. And talks a lot. Is it even a funny matter to be laughing at?

"I told myself...I must go back when I'm fifteen. Not just to get the bracelets back, but also to recollect how I was at ten. What I did when I was 8...and how I got to find that place when I was six. I can hardly remember the details. I remember reading a lot, dancing by myself, learning how to carve stones and watching ants climb on the bananas - those are little compared to the daily time spent. But I'd like to get that feeling back...my safe, hiding space, where I can do whatever I want and be free. I promised myself that no matter what, I'd go back when I'm fifteen. I couldn't make it though...Anyway, do you have anything you wanna do at fifteen?"

Oh...all that story-telling...just for us to go back to the age topic? I wanna be okay with how things are. I wanna be accepted. I wanna feel secure in my own home. I want my mom to stop working so much and my dad to stop drinking , so that he can focus on the shop. I wanna be a normal 15-year-old who doesn't have to think for the supposedly-trusted adults.

Instead of answering with the things in his mind, Jungkook just shrugged.

"I think you do," He looks up to her round, twinkling eyes. "It's okay to keep it to yourself. It's okay to talk about it too. It's okay to do anything you want, the way you want it. As long as it won't hurt yourself. And even if it hurts you, it's gonna be okay too. Just cry it out and re-do you. Just don't go around physically hurting anyone," The sound of her giggles are now somehow implanted in his mind.

"I passed by an ice cream stall before I got on the train. I could tell that it was new because I could still smell the metal," Now what - why is she telling me this? "Or maybe it's the smell of glue. Anyway, I got a vanilla ice cream but it tasted like apple pie which is weird...so I told the old man but he was tending to another customer. A lady...very pretty. She had red lipstick on, like the shade of a seasoned strawberry. My mom had the same color. Do you think it's appropriate to wear a red lipstick to a funeral?"

Jungkook could not think of any answer to that, but he felt that it's an inappropriately random thing to ask. He couldn't say that either because he's wearing her jumper and the most basic form of appreciation he could offer is by listening to whatever she's saying.

"There was this one time in last year. There's a school trip that I was supposed to go to and the night before, my mom came into the room with that red lipstick. I didn't think I'd get to see her cus she was in Japan with my dad - he has hotels around the world so they travel a lot...but she reached just in time to send me off. I couldn't sleep when I saw her cus I got so excited. I bothered her until midnight -" She giggled again. "She forced me to read a book so I'd get tired. I ended up sleeping beside her that night,"

Is there a point to these stories of hers? Did she drank a lot of coffee today because it seems that her energy just keeps flowing on this late ride -

"I made her pinky-promise that she'll be home when I come back. She was home when I came back. I forgot to make her pinky-promise this time around. I don't think I'm ready to grow up. Adults seems to think a lot more. I'm already thinking a lot now so I'm not sure how well I'd do with more,"

He realized now how she'd always stare at him while talking - as if she considers him as a good friend to talk about her random things or whatever. Nothing about her screams shy or shame. No girl in his class had ever spoken with such fluidity and consistency as this girl - it made him wonder what those private schools have in their teachings. No one's this outspoken and blunt among his peers - even his close friends are never this open! He bets if he puts her in a room of 30 kids, she'd still stands out.

"Next year we'll be sixteen...that's like, an exercise to become an adult. You look like you'd be good at it," Is she just saying that to gauge something out of me? Could she tell just by the state of me? "Do you wanna listen to some music?" She offers her headphone.

Jungkook was never the type to accept whatever people gave to him. He has major trust issues - nothing is free in this world! But hearing her words about him being 'good at adulting' made him emotional, so to stop himself from tearing up and make a fool out of himself in front of this nice, cute, and talkative girl, he caved. Putting the headphone on, he watches the flashes of lights and its colours reflecting on the window upfront.

For the first time of the night, he felt his heartbeat slowing down - calming to the sound of some rap music he's never heard before. Hearing the cussing and ranting made him want to laugh. What is this girl listening to - she didn't seem to have a single bad-ass bone in that small body - why is she listening to this kind of music? This is so contradicting! He didn't wanna pretend like he knows her that well, so he held it in.

Many thoughts played on his mind. Some over and over. Like where are we now? When should I walk out? How far should I go? I don't have a lot - it'll probably last me 2 days if I eat only once a day. This is probably the worst idea I've ever had.

Are they worried? They must be. Mom must be crying a lot. She cries a lot when she's worried. I shouldn't make her cry so much, she's already had a lot to deal with. Maybe I was too hasty. Was I too harsh?

It's okay to do anything you want, the way you want it. This too, keeps replaying in his mind. Can I really do anything I want, the way I want it to be? Would I really be good at being an adult? Mom and dad didn't think so.

"I wanna see the world from a different angle. I always feel it could be nicer...and maybe I'll feel a little better," He mumbled, sighing a small smile. He didn't even care if she wasn't listening. It actually feels good to be able to say it out loud. "I wanna go to Seoul...win that singing contest so I can help my parents. And maybe, if there's anything left, I could save it to get out of here. Get in more contest...win more money. I wanna sing my songs. Then I'll probably have that slight chance of getting what I want. But it doesn't seem possible,"

And even if it hurts you, it's gonna be okay too. Just cry it out and re-do you.

"Golden flowers...I saw it in a picture before, I wonder if such field even exists. I'd walk in the same boots to two different cities, even if it's torn and weary. No watches so I won't have to count the time on when I'd have to leave. I'd meet with a disaster and I'd be brave at it...I won't have to pretend anymore. I'll be in continents...hearing my songs and I know there'll be at least one person who will keep hearing me. Front row...cheering every time,"

It's the first time he spoke about what he wants in the most honest and genuine that he could. Partly the reason of why he doesn't do this often - he's been told that he's too sensitive when he speaks this way. I hope it's a long ride together, just so I'd have the time to say more. A stranger. Someone I'll most likely never meet again. It feels quite liberating - I wonder why people pay so much to be heard when they can just do this -

He felt a small poke on his shoulder and he looks over to the girl.

"This is me," She points to the station they just arrived.

Oh...already? But... "Here," He was taking off the headphone but was stopped by her hand halfway.

"Keep it," She hands over an iPod. An iPod! I've only seen it on posters -

"No, no -"

"I have another one, don't worry," She laughed. "Really. Please take it. I don't need more than one," She started picking up her books and backpack.

But...this is too much. The jumper! "This -"

"If we ever meet again, you can give it back. If we don't, consider it your fifteenth birthday gift," The door opens and with the same warm smile and galaxy-filled eyes, she walks out.

The row is now only occupied by him and it made him uneasy...even more than before. What was I thinking? I can't live alone - I can't make do alone! I...I have so much more to do - so much to say! She was there with me and now...now...I should go back! I wanna go back! Jungkook ran out just in time before the door closes.

With anxiety building in his nerves, he ran around the platform, trying to catch a glimpse of the girl. He found her the second she passed through the automatic gates. What's her name? Did she tell me her name??

"Miss!"

She turns and curves up a smile. Ahh her cute smile! Jungkook jogged until he reached the gates.

"I uh...thank you, for the jumper...and this," He points to the headphone around his neck, trying to catch his breath. "Can you uh...can you do me one more favor?"

Still with her sparkly eyes, she tilts her head to a side - ready to hear him out. Oh...she's really beautiful!

"Can you tell me something...something you think I should do. I promise I'll do it,"

He wasn't sure why he asked that, nor was he sure what to expect. All he knew was he needed something - a guide or a motivation, if you can call it - something for me to re-do me.

"Sing fifteen songs in a space full of strangers. Any song you could think of - a place where you don't know anyone. Never the same place twice," She said simply.

Ahh she listened! It gave him a little boost in the chest to hear it. Like a newly-developed determination, he nods excitedly. "I'll do it! I promise, I'll do it!"

"I know you can! Maybe I'll see you again one day. Front row, cheering for you," For a second, he thought he saw glints in her twinkling eyes. It disappeared when she took a deep breath. "Goodnight,"

Jungkook watched her leaving him and the station. He watched until her shadow left the stairs. He watched until he's sure she'll never come back up. All the while, one thing kept playing in his mind but was too late to say was 'what is your name?'.

...

The cigarette tastes like raspberries on a cold, windy night. Staring at the smoke as she longs for some unattainable extraordinary but not quite knowing the name for it, Lisa ended up thinking if there are other creatures that lives just like her.

Drinking their evening away...coughing and sometimes crying by themselves...imagining how far ahead they'll get to outlive the clouds or the stars.

She does this more often these days. Mistakes waiting to happen, as she knew it would. That strange feeling of longing when she stood still at a train station on a rainy night, too far away yet not too long ago. She would feel the same in a 24/7 convenient store, buying a soda she didn't feel like drinking...or walking aimlessly on a busy street while knowing exactly where she would end up at.

That feeling as if something is missing in her life and not knowing what it is. Perhaps it was never there in the first place. Or perhaps she got close to reaching it, but she never realized it.

"Hey," She slowly turns to the voice calling from her side. "Oh wow...I thought you looked beautiful from a far but up close..." His eyes sparkled to match his awe. "You're gorgeous! You must get this a lot, huh?"

From his deep, dark gaze and crooked smile, Lisa scans down to the biker fit he had on his tall, firm built. The dark brown boots forces her mind to recall on something, but the memory failed to appear. His face looks European, but his sounded very American. Pretty...enough...

"Not a local?" She asked before taking another long drag of the stick in her hand.