"There was a book."

"A book?"

"More like a magazine, really."

"Oh?"

"It had dirty pictures.."

"Wicked!"

"..of naked witches."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Well, continue!"

"Word around school is that Kinky Kelpie can procure these magazines if you ask. For a price of course-"

"Ahem." The shrill sound of a throat being cleared a few feet behind stopped the Hufflepuffs in their tracks.

Kelsey Jones stood in the middle of the corridor, hands on her hips, glaring at the two sixth-year boys. She could already feel a headache coming on and she still had detention to get through.

Upon the realisation of Kinky Kelpie overhearing them with a grossly displeased expression, the boys soon lost their intrigue over the school's latest gossip.

Without wasting time, Kelsey got to the point.

"Who?" She held one of the smaller boys up by the collar. The one word was enough to convey everything she wanted to know. The boy didn't hesitate to reveal anything he knew.

"I'm so sorry! We overheard Black and Pettigrew whispering about it in the library earlier today! Please don't kill me!" The boy cowered and held up his hand to shield his face. With a huff she let go, dropping him.

She didn't know why she had even bothered asking. Of course, it was them. Or rather him. The rest of her day had gone by quickly. But not without the rumours just like this one. However, this was the most creative one she had heard all day no thanks to the git himself.

Pressing her lips into a thin line she thought about her next course of action as she walked back to the Common Room to get ready for detention. It had only been a few hours and the rumours were running wild. Not to mention her new nickname.

"Kinky Kelpie!" Kelsey cried, storming into the Common Room. Astrid, who usually held a better sense of decorum, snorted over her essay. "It's not funny!"

"It is!" Astrid said.

"Arrgghh!" Kelsey stomped over and threw herself on the armchair handle next to her.

"Although, do you really want to walk around shouting that? People might get ideas that you like being called so.." her friend trailed off teasingly.

Kelsey frowned. It looks like Remus Lupin's wittiness was rubbing off on her best friend.

"Although you know what they say.." Astrid dipped her quill in the ink bottle. "The best revenge is to not let them know, they got to you," she quietly went back to working on her essay.

Thinking it over, Kelsey had to agree enthusiastically. Sirius Black did thrive on chaos and the attention it brought him. What better way than to deprive him of the same?

"Astrid you brilliant bitch!" Kelsey rushed out of the common room again for detention with Filch.

She knew he made the latecomers stay back an hour extra.

"I'm sure you meant that lovingly?!" Astrid called but her friend was gone.

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"Disgrace to the name of wizards.."

Kelsey leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling.

"School has gone to the dogs.."

Could he get started already?

"If only I wasn't a Squib..oh dear me..the ways I could torture them.." Filch continued muttering.

The two other students in Detention with her, let out a successive chain of yawns. They were just as impatient about getting this started.

The grandfather clock in Filch's office read 8.05 when the door burst open dramatically. Much like the latecomer himself.

"Sorry 'bout that," the boy strutted into the room.

"Finally..disrespectful students," Filch grunted and got up, beckoning the other three students over.

"You two. Owlery. Scrub it clean. No wands," he pointed at the students who had been waiting with Kelsey until now.

"And you two.." Filch gave a toothy grin. Kelsey realised that she liked his scowl better. Was that tooth rotting? She wondered, her gaze transfixed on Filch's left incisor.

"..Potions class. Same thing. I'll stop by for a surprise check-in," he waved his hand to dismiss them. "It better be spotless," Kelsey heard him declare. But she was already halfway out the door without even bothering to wait for her partner in crime.

This couldn't get any better, she thought darkly. Her face was in a fixed scowl as she marched her way to the Potions room. Still, it was also never too soon to implement Astrid's idea.

"Yoohoo Joones," the boy waved a hand in front of her face. She ignored him the entire way. It was his fault she was here in the first place.

"Ooh," the person caught up to her and started matching her strides. "Someone's had a ruff day," he barked, laughing at his own joke.

Kelsey almost gave in. What was it with those four and their weird animal puns?

"Hear any interesting rumours lately?" he pried innocently, hands clasped behind his back. Kelsey stopped in her tracks and so did he.

She took a deep breath to calm herself and looked at him. She would not give in. Make him suffer, her brain told her.

An annoying gnaw came upon her stomach as her blue eyes met Sirius Black's grey. That flicker of mischief in his only strengthened her resolve. She kept her best blank expression to show him that she couldn't care less, while she was bursting to do something - anything - on the inside.

A small group of Slytherins passed them by on the way to their Common Room. Kelsey walked on to the Potions classroom before they could say anything to either of them. Tying her hair back, she walked over to the bucket of water that had been placed by the entrance. She dropped to her knees, grabbed a sponge, dipped it into the soapy water and got to work.

The quicker she started, the faster she'd be out of here. Away from him.

"Going to ignore me are you, then?" he asked. "Fine," he quipped and tugged up the sleeves of his own shirt.

While on any given day, Sirius wouldn't have hesitated to use magic despite Filch's instructions, he put his hands to work. After he had noticed Jones' initial anger die down, she had been ominously calm about the whole affair for the rest of the day. It had irked Sirius, although he refused to admit it during dinner when a few hours ago.

The classroom was filled with sounds of wooden brushes scraping against the floor. Sirius Black was never one to stay silent for too long. He also realised that a quiet Kelpie was more dangerous than one who was actively mad at him.

He just wanted her attention. Just so he could annoy her more of course.

"Why am I here you ask?" Sirius started talking to himself when she didn't respond. "Why Kelpie, my love, you see I was minding my own business in the library.."

Kelsey couldn't help the snort that escaped her. Sirius paused for a second, acknowledging her acknowledgment of him. A pleased smirk donned his face.

"..when Madam Pince hunted me down and handed me detention for discussing lewd topics near the 'sanctity of her books'," he air-quoted the last part. She continued scrubbing the Potions classroom floor wordlessly.

That's it! He couldn't take it anymore. He got up and threw the brush into the bucket. It splashed water out, drenching the bottoms of his uniform.

"Will you just look at me!" He demanded coming to a standstill right behind her.

Kelsey could sense him there, but she kept on her task.

Sirius was at a loss. He opened his mouth a few times to say something but stopped before uttering a word.

Finally thinking it over, "Kelsey!" he said. Her name sounded foreign on his lips. At the same time, he bent and reached out his arm to stop her in his frustration.

Kelsey let out a small yelp at the sudden contact and the sound of her name from his mouth for the very first time. In her shock, she sent the pail tumbling.

'A Series of Unfortunate Events' Kelsey decided that's what she would name her autobiography, as she saw the soapy water-filled pail spill and Sirius Black simultaneously fall on her.

In a matter of moments, they found themselves re-enacting the Potter-Evans scene from earlier that day. With her blouse half drenched and detesting the feeling of it sticking to her skin, her resolve broke.

"I'm going to kill you!" she yelled.

"There she is!" he grinned up at her.

So much for her resolution to ignore him. It was a good 55 minutes while it lasted.

Sirius took in the scene above him and he found that he couldn't turn his gaze away from the water-soaked blouse. His eyes travelled north to the suds on her slender neck and he gulped. The water was dripping on to his own clothes but all he could focus on was the smell of soapy-water and her wet skin.

He was really close to her. The last time, he realised, the last time he had been this close to her was when they had kissed. No, wait. It had been when she had tried to shove him into the snow in Hogsmeade for interrupting her and Macdonald. Then too, she had ended up on top of him.

"Uh Black.." Kelsey suddenly sounded horrified.

"Yeah?" Sirius breathed. Why was he out of breath suddenly?

"Please tell me that's your wand."

"I - uh," Sirius gulped trying to rationalise his reaction. She raised an eyebrow. "Of course it's my wand!" Just as quickly, he shoved her off and she fell back with a thud.

Kelsey cursed under her breath, face a little pink, wondering what to do with this newly learned information.

"You know.." a sudden change in demeanour overcame her. She got up and swayed back over to stand in front of him. "..I heard you were looking for someone to pop that V-Card. Clearly, you seem to want something here." She slowly grabbed his tie.

Sirius watched on in fascination. Her tone was eliciting responses from him, he very much disliked. No that was a lie. Responses had been elicited moments before- as soon as he had her in his arms he realised...realised that he didn't mind it.

Kelsey could only hope she only sounded how she hoped. "..I could pop that cherry," she whispered sultrily.

It was a bold lie. Not only was she inexperienced in bed but also in the matter of boys. Well other than Sirius Black of course. She was just going along with his new plan in the moment, just as shocked at her own confidence.

She knew it had worked when she heard a sharp intake on his part. He stared back at her, lips open in surprise, looking hazy. She grinned smugly and all of a sudden his trance broke. He pulled away.

Kelsey was left giggling in the Potions classroom all alone, as she watched his robes disappear out the door.

Astrid's plan be damned. Turns out she had a better one.

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