《Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince | Sirius Black ✓》46. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
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James Potter was currently watching the result of their latest 'Win Kelpie Back' plan and he was certain that he had made the wrong decision.
It was the next day and most seventh-years were out on the quidditch pitch enjoying the early summer.
With two weeks until NEWTS, Mcgonagall had roped in James and Lily to help organize an ice-cream social for the seventh years as a means to de-stress. This had been the result of several meltdowns by a few Ravenclaws with Lily and Jones almost joining that list. In the middle of the pitch, Florean Fortescue had set up a quasi-stand offering free sundaes: one per student.
So much had happened so quickly.
Ten Minutes Ago..
"Are you sure about this?" Sirius ran a hand through his hair anxiously for the hundredth time. His stomach was in knots in anticipation ever since Lily and James had pulled him away yesterday and revealed their 'plan' to help him get back in Kelsey's good graces. At least as much as he could. He couldn't believe how royally he had screwed up.
Knowing Kelsey, it was a miracle she hadn't hexed any of them.
"Positive." James gave him a thumbs up. Lily had spotted Kelsey, Astrid and Remus sitting on a picnic blanket closer to the goalposts.
"It's a simple plan. I think you'll be fine," Lily reassured him with a smile.
"'S not as if he hasn't had years of practice.." James was trying to encourage Sirius who looked as if he may just throw up.
"Flirting with girls you mean?" Lily accused, sounding unimpressed.
"Sshh," James shushed her. "It'll be fine. He's a natural."
"She hates me," stated Sirius. And rightly so. Although, it didn't hinder his desire to get her to talk to him.
"Just be yourself, okay? Charm her," said Lily. "Show her the bo- er man she fell in love with."
"You think she still feels that way?" he asked hopefully with puppy dog eyes. Despite his mild post-breakup affairs, his heart never wandered from Kelsey even once. He would do anything to make it right. As it currently stood, anything meant going along with this plan.
Lily almost felt bad until she remembered how they had ended up this way in the first place. They were a little closer to the trio and they could see their friends sitting. Remus caught James' eye and beckoned them over.
Kelsey and Astrid who were in the middle of eating their ice-cream paused. Kelsey as usual scoffed when she saw Sirius and went back to paying attention to the interesting goalposts instead, admiring the woodwork. Lily saw her friend's reluctance and wasn't sure anymore. But it was too late now.
"What if she slaps me?" Sirius hesitated.
"All's fair in love and war, mate." One last time James patted him on the back and used the same hand to push him forward. There was no going back now.
Kelsey had been in the middle of her brilliant plan to sneakily nudge Astrid towards Remus. Time was running out, she believed. Three weeks and they would leave Hogwarts. Astrid had made good progress with Remus. Now if they could just hurry along and snog each other senseless so that Kelsey could rest in peace. The plan was going fine until he had shown up.
She wanted to get up and leave. But she couldn't because then she would have to leave them alone with Sirius and she was certain the boy would ruin her hard work. So she sat there and watched Potter nudge Sirius to sit with them while he and Lily went off to do their duties.
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Beside her, Astrid and Remus were deep in conversation and she did not want to interrupt. Instead, she watched Sirius mumbling to himself looking at the ground as he walked over cautiously. Suddenly, he straightened up a little and strode over with the confident air of an aristocrat.
The expression on his face matched his stride.
"Jones," he drawled as he came closer, breaking into a smile. He secretly prayed that she wouldn't throw the ice cream in his face.
He sent her his million-dollar smile that once again made her stomach flutter. She wished her heart didn't do that thing where it threatened to jump out of her chest in his presence. Yet, warily enough she eyed him trying to judge his end game.
Instead of replying to him, she picked up her cone of green electric mint ice-cream to take a bite. Sirius had an idea. Before she could bite into heaven, he snatched it from her hand.
"Don't mind if I do," he said huskily, trying to lower his voice. He deliberated the cone in his hand.
What was he trying to do? Kelsey was confused.
With a comical smirk, he went for an attempted sexy lick of the ice-cream in his try to woo her. Maintaining eye contact, he wet his lips as Kelsey stared in shock and he took a large bite of the ice cream. Her shock turned into horror.
"SIRIUS, NO! YOU'LL GET BRAIN-ZAP!!" She cried loudly, breaking Astrid and Remus from their conversation.
The effect was almost instantaneous. The current shot through Sirius and he spasmed on the spot. His hand jerked, making the ice-cream fall down on his pants with an icky-plop. The cooling charm that prevented the ice-cream from running wore off and almost immediately it started melting.
Her horror turned into amusement as she threw her head back and laughed.
Sirius couldn't believe his luck - or rather lack of. Still, this was better than having her bite his head off. The remnants of the current from the magical ice-cream hit him again and this time he yelped and fell down as his leg lost feeling. He lay on the ground twitching while Kelsey doubled over now.
At least she's laughing, he thought although it didn't bring him much joy. For once Kelsey appreciated that the embarrassment was targeted at someone other than her.
"Quick!" She held her hand out to Astrid who rummaged her bag and threw something. Kelsey caught the polaroid in her hand and brought it up to her face. Next to the girls, Remus sighed as if he was the one in pain.
The click of the polaroid was heard as Sirius managed to get up.
"That'll teach you to steal my food, Black," she sent him one of her classic playful smiles that they had shared several times over the last seven years.
"What are you doing? Shouldn't you be helping Mr Fortescue?" Marlene asked James and Lily.
Coming back to the present, James Potter was certain. He had made the wrong choice. All they had succeeded in doing was getting Sirius to make a fool of himself in front of her.
Marlene saw the disaster that was Sirius Black drop ice-cream all over himself and then continue to twitch on the ground. When Kelsey managed to stop laughing and commemorating the moment with a photograph, she got up and waved the picture in front of his face.
"On the bright side," Lily said cheerfully watching the scene too. Marlene listened interestedly. "At least she's smiling at him."
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"Train wreck," murmured James under his breath as Sirius tripped over the edge of the picnic blanket when he jumped to grab the polaroid from Kelsey's hand which she dodged. Padfoot landed face-first into the ice-cream he had just dropped. Shaking his head in dismay, James left Marlene and Lily to talk to go help with the sundae stand. This wouldn't be as easy.
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"Are you really sure about this?" Sirius found himself asking James the same question for the second time in two days. This time they had Remus standing by for additional support and to prevent Sirius from making a fool of himself like yesterday.
"Sure as ever, mate. Err at least I hope so," said James. The Head Boy had made last-minute modifications to their last prank of the year. It had been a task since their Map was now confiscated ever since the incident in the library and other events leading up to it.
Dumbledore had banished it to a corner in Filch's office. Personally, James considered it to be among the Top Three Betrayals right after Wormtail when he found out what Dumbledore had done with the map.
"I can't believe I'm saying this," Remus began. "But are you sure that including Kelsey in this um - idea is the best one? We just got on her good side. And she did just agree to join the Order yesterday after the ice-cream social."
"Positive," James brushed their concerns off. "It'll be a perfect way to remind her of the fun times she had pranking Padfoot."
Sirius nodded along deep in thought. It sounded perfect in theory: making her crave the old crazy days; their tiffs; their squabbles; and more importantly the copious amounts of sexual tension that always followed.
The last class of the day had just ended and students were leaving class. A hoard of them was approaching the empty courtyard.
"There she is!" James pushed them back around the corner. "NOW!"
All three boys removed their wands and muttered the spell under their breath. They flicked it as per instructions and soon the air was filled with sparkling creatures that appeared out of thin air.
Their last prank wasn't so much of a prank as it was an ode to the school they were leaving. It was only right that they did. There were leprechauns, mermaids, trolls, and dragons, all showing up as fireworks in the sky. Students gathered around the courtyard and many more started peeking from the classroom windows on the upper floors.
A song broke out as the creatures that had been conjured up in the air sang about Hogwarts and the great tirades of the four boys, alluding to their many pranks. A loud round of applause started as soon as the song finished but that wasn't it.
"This is the best part," James whispered to himself. He just hoped that the self-inscribing poetry spell worked for the three boys had no idea what song was about to come on next. Just that it was supposed to scream'Sirius Black is a tit' in bold. Although not in those exact words. This was a chance they were taking with the self-writing charm.
"Cold as ice,
She's not very nice,
Kelsey Jones will make you think twice."
"Prongs, mate," Remus looked panicked.
James and Sirius paled. Down the corridor, Kelsey, Mary, Astrid and Lily stopped to stare at the magical illusion singing a song about Kelsey. They had been enjoying it until the one about Hogwarts ended that is. As soon as Kelsey's name escaped what was now a large Kelpie in the sky, she knew who was responsible.
"But don't be a tool,
She'll make you drool,
For her, Sirius Black's already a fool."
Kelsey bit back a smile as Astrid nudged her, looking where the boys stood. The song faded and a large 'I'm Sorry' was scrawled in the air with a magical dog running around the Kelpie.
However, her good mood vanished because it seems that the magical creatures appeared to have developed a conscience of their own.
"Put it out!" Sirius whispered frantically to James who was struggling to make the scribbles go away. Up in the air now, the giant black dog was fighting the kelpie. A mid-air brawl broke out.
Kelsey watched reminiscently. Even she couldn't deny that what was happening up there was an exact replica of her tumultuous relationship with the boy. It was bittersweet.
"This is a disaster!" cried Sirius in dismay.
"Oh, don't be a sourpuss and talk to her. See, she's coming over!"
The students were now keenly observing as Kelsey walked over to them with an unreadable expression.
"What do you say, eh?" He tried to imitate conviction. In a casual fashion, he leaned against the stone wall resting on one side. "Forgive me?"
Kelsey could see his muscles bulging under his folded arms. The temptation to reach out and feel him was there. She could all but remember the times he had trapped her between those very same Adonis-like arms.
If she hadn't been embarrassed by the kelpie in the air she would have done something stupid. Like kiss him or worse, forgive him.
"To think that I almost forgot.." she swung her hips as she walked with Sirius' eyes glued to her. She batted her eyelashes. She almost missed how fun this used to be. "When it comes to the two of us." Her voice dropped an octave when she pulled in Sirius by his loose tie, "I'll always win."
Up in the sky, the firework version of the kelpie emerged victorious and did a full lap in celebration before dissipating mid-air.
Sirius could feel her breath in his ear as his gaze dropped to her lips which she was biting. She let him go as he stood transfixed and kneed him where the sun didn't shine. But not too hard, just enough to express her annoyance.
Regrets, Sirius thought as he bent over. Sirius Black had certain regrets about this moment.
"I've always wanted to do that since day one." She dusted her hands as if cleaning them of imaginary dirt while she watched Sirius double over in pain on the ground. This was more painful than the time Wormtail had hit him in the crotch with the hardbound textbook. He should have seen it coming.
James chased after Lily who stormed off in anger at being left out of this plan. Maybe then she could have stopped them from going through with something so stupendous.
Remus was left watching Sirius writhe and croak in agony on the floor. It was a step up from yesterday's twitching, he had to admit.
"Look at the bright side," Remus scratched his head. "At least this time, she touched you."
"Wrong time, Moony." Sirius continued croaking incoherent sounds.
Kelsey felt a strange sense of familiarity as she walked back with Mary and Astrid. Students around them pointed at where she had left Sirius behind her in the courtyard.
"Talk about cold as ice," said someone.
"What was that about?"
"Ignore them. It's probably a fourth one of their bedroom games. I heard of this muggle thing called BDSM. The M stands for masochism."
The students were staring at Sirius, scandalised, who was still clutching onto his family jewels in agony.
Someone gasped. "You don't mean to say..that Kinky Kelpie is back?"
"Kelsey," Mary's giggling distracted Kelsey from eavesdropping on the rest of that.
"Are you alright?" asked Astrid.
"You know guys," said Kelsey. "I've never been better."
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