《Struggles ✔》Chapter 6.
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Alexa's POV
I didn't go to school today, or yesterday, or the day before that. I didn't go to school for a week. I was either at my apartment or walking around; I was walking around today. Jess, Olivia and Cole, who somehow got my number, have been calling and texting me non stop these past few days too. I couldn't deal with them, so I muted there numbers.
Olivia's just faking it
No she's not. Olivia is a good friend. She cares about me.
She has her boyfriend now. Why would she waste her time on you.
...
Jess must think thatt you're busy being the fucked up depressed little shit you are
...
Cole? He's probably off fucking another girl. You're nothing to him anyways.
...
Even after everything you've done for him. He doesn't care. No one cares. You're just a worthless, fat, ugly piece of shit. Even they said so.
Yeah...that's all true. That little voice in my head is so right. Why would anyone care about an ugly ass bitch like me? I'm a disappointment.
"The only opinions that should matter are from those you love and those who love you"
Cole's words ring in my head. I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't bring myself up to it. I didn't fully trust him yet. He's right that other people's opinions don't matter. It's just that when I hear them I don't hear the one talking. I hear
The people who have hurt me more than anyone else. The people who made me who I am. The people who i loved and who loved me. I hear them saying the exact same words and I never knew why. I trusted them and so I believed everything they told me.
My thoughts were interrupted by me crashing into someone.
"I am so so sorry" I say
"It's fine- Alexa?!"
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I looked up and saw Chase, one of Cole's best friend. I was shocked, he was supposed to be in school right now. That's when I remembered that he was a bad boy. He skipped classes most of the time.
"Hey..." I say sheepishly
"Oh my god! You're okay!! I thought something bad happened to you" He says
"Yeahhh. I'm fine" I say
"Olivia and Cole have been worried sick. Olivia is calling you every hour and Cole has been trying to find your address." He says and my eyes widen in shock.
They care?
"Where have you been these past few days?" He asks and I shake my head
"Busy."
"You skipping class?" I ask trying to change the topic
"History is boring." He chuckles
"Damn right."
"Wanna eat?" He asks and I shrug
"Sure"
We talked all the way to the diner nearby. I never really talked to Chase much and I regret not getting to know him sooner. This guy is hella funny and entertaining. He makes the stupidest jokes but I always end up laughing. It's so stupid it's funny. He's been telling me about the pranks he and the boys have done and other fun things they used to do.
"Damn. You guys are a hell lot of trouble." I say
"Were. Ever since Robin started dating Olivia, he's gone all mushy and soft and boringggg. I mean I get that he's becoming a gentleman for her but he's ditching on his friends." Chase says
"Damn right. Olivia is changing too. She used to be this caring, fun outgoing and rowdy girl, but then she started dating Robin and she's become a girly girl." I say
"Love. It makes you do weird things." He says
"Cheers to that." I say
As were eating, a person stood over us. I turned my head and saw the rest of our friends, all glaring at me. I chuckle and grin at them.
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"Hi"
Jess starts yelling at me. Asking me why I haven't been answering her calls and texts. Why I wasn't at school the past few days. She told me she thought I was dead. Other people may think that was an exaggeration but Olivia and I both know she meant it. She actually thought I might've died.
After Jess came Olivia but it wasn't that bad. She just told me not to scare them again.
Once everyone has calmed down, they went to the counter to order their food. Chase went to the restroom so now Cole and I were left alone. He hasn't said a word but I know he has a lot to say.
"I was so worried."
"I know..." I say looking down at my hands. I was preparing myself for a scolding.
"I fucked up. I'm so sorry"
I look at him in shock. Was he serious??? He's apologizing?! The guilt in me grew even more. I made him think that this was his fault . God I'm such a terrible friend.
"It's not your fault." I say
"Yes it is! I was scolding you instead of comforting you. I'm so stupid. I'm so sorry." He says
"No. It's my fault. Don't you dare put this on yourself. It's my fault, I'm such a fuck up. I'm so sorry." I say. My eyes start watering as I look at him
"No no no please don't cry." He says. I can tell he doesn't know how to comfort someone and I chuckle at that. I wipe my eyes and smile lightly at him
"We'll talk later, okay? I-I promise to explain" I say. He shakes his head and I look at him confused. I was sure he wanted answers
"I don't want you to tell me because you feel like you have to. Tell me when you're ready. I don't wanna force you." He says. I smile gratefully at him. God I don't deserve him. I don't deserve his kindness.
"Nebulizer?" I ask and he grins widely
"I missed that." He says truthfully
"I did it. And I have my inhaler" he continues
I smile. I haven't done that in a while. To be honest I usually smile when Cole is around. He's someone who understands me. He can see through my mask and see the real me. I smile with everyone else because I am entertained. But with Cole, I smile cause I'm genuinely happy. Happy that he cares and he understands. He knows how I feel.
"Did you...did you eat?" He asks hesitantly
"I couldn't break my promise." I say and he lights up. Cold is beaming with pride.
"I'm so proud of you!!!" He says hugging me tightly.
I chuckled and proceeded to tell him what I ate this past week. He was smiling proudly at me the whole time. The smile never left his face. Not even when our friends back. He just ate his food and I chatted with everyone. Somewhere between the chatting, I found myself holding onto Cole's hand. I didn't notice and he didnt mind. Cause as our hands were intertwined, I had a true smile on my face.
Cole seemed to know that. He knew that I was happy. And I could see it in his eyes that he would make sure I stay that way.
How would I know?
Cause I promised myself the same thing. I'm gonna make sure that this idiot will find happiness and joy.
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I'll be posting a new chapter everyday btw. :-)
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