/My second name: Yusoff, means Joseph in Arabic./

Though we're now 3 years away-

My head ached for the dim lights washing our sweat-glazed shoulders connected from your knees and toes. And when my tongue listened to your body

you knew I was ready to be the animals you named as a kid

From forests, for when I was a kid

With tiny thumbs of green

I planted trees

Now verdant Towers of Babel

So to climb beside God and ask questions. Mostly to myself,

When I decided to receive gifts

From recent relationships

In the form of potted cacti

Each of which wilted on white windowsills

From my obsessive watering.

I now understand my vapor father.

With an axe on my hand shaped like God's favorite number, I cut down the trees to make a home for us.

I'll be the Silent Joseph &

the Pharaoh Joseph, with careful carpentry of archaic architecture-

Shaped around your body

My coat of many colors

Shaped around your body

The questions to God- now

Shaped around your body

That I wouldn't mind talking to him about

on my knees, 24/7

The place where you loved whirling; in in-between my caps,

In naked Pirouette

Where my hands would chafe on your cheeks and thighs

As an expert potter

Shaping your body.

The luxury of time traveling.

When I close my eyes

You're 3 seconds closer.

Always, but 8 squares away

In black and white

Because on our dates

The Dinner plates

Shattered shards into a chessboard

And everyone watched our every move.

Then I remembered how toxic I was,

Raised to be a Catholic Father

Who never knew why he saw women

Who tried to move close to you

as Pawns,

All trying to be the first Queen at your side

While I saw myself as a Beggar King

With the same move & pace as them

Yet can go backward anytime.

But I am no King, am a Pharaoh

Heart lighter than a feather

Each time you bring me to little deaths.