Livia awoke with a sob trapped in her throat. She could still see them, all of them.

Elia with her sun-kissed skin. Rhaenys with her beautiful laugh. Aegon with the tiniest and rarest of smiles.

She dreamt of how they screamed as they were murdered. Defiled. Raped.

They all screamed her name, asking for help. But she was never there.

It was all her fault.

Livia stood from her bed, lighting a candle by her vanity. With the flame's light, she saw her reflection in the mirror as she sat down.

Her golden hair was a mess. Her eyes were wet with tears. The wound on her lip was dry. With no powder covering them, her bruises were evident upon her pale skin. The dark purple and blue marks marring her skin. The maroon wound on the side of her mouth.

She raised a hand to touch them, wincing as she recalled the hands that attempted to strangle her.

It was all her fault.

As Livia Lannister continued to look into the mirror, she was faced with the harsh truth.

The truth that she may have lost a piece of herself when her mother died but it was nothing compared to the present.

Now she knew that her past self was forever gone, and she is never coming back.

It was all her fault.

°•°•°•°•°

"Kingslayer! That's the kingslayer."

Livia winced at the name, at all the whispers. She was almost expecting the name to be directed at her as she strolled through the royal gardens. 

But she was proven wrong as she turned to see the new king and his retinue. Including her brother.

Jaime, who had been selfless. Jaime, who took all the blame to protect them. Jaime, who was innocent.

She hadn't seen him since Robert had pardoned him and permitted him to remain in the Kingsguard.

Oh, their father had been happy about that.

 She had also heard things. That her brother hunted down the remaining pyromancers and killed them.

Livia wanted nothing more than to speak to him but she couldn't, not unless she wanted everyone in the king's retinue to know. 

Speaking of the king.

"Your Grace." She greeted, forcing a smile onto her face and bowing.

It had been a long time since she has spoken aloud. Ever since she heard the news, but it seems that she cannot hide behind silence forever.

Her voice sounded different, even the words felt foreign upon her lips.

"Your Grace? Not bastard? Not a pompous and narcissistic arse? Not arrogant jerk?" Robert teased, his eyebrows raised.

It was clear that the king had drank a little too much wine as he slurred his words.

Livia frowned then, remembering what has happened all this time, and straightened up. "I don't know, Your Grace. Would you like to be called a pompous and narcissistic arse?"

At that, she heard gasps from the people around them, but Robert only laughed. "Lady Livia, you haven't changed at all. I've missed your sharp retorts."

"I wish I could say the same about you, Lord Rob-I mean, Your Grace." She quickly corrected herself.

"Bah! Come, walk with me!" He waved his hand in dismissal as he started walking and the crowd of people dispersed.

"Is there something you wished to speak about, Your Grace?" She asked gently as she spotted her brother walking behind them.

"I wouldn't know. Is there?" He returned but when she glared at him, he finally sighed. "Would you like to go home to Casterly Rock?"

Livia's eyes widened at his question, it was the question she least expected. "Have I done something w-"

"No!" Robert interrupted her. "It's just-I have heard stories from Lord Stark, from everyone and I would understand if you would like to go home.

When she and Jaime were hostages in the Red Keep, she wanted nothing more than to go home, she had wanted her mother. But her mother was dead and she could not go home. Even if she had wanted to.

"I would prefer to stay, Your Grace. I-my father and my brother are here and I feel as if I should be here too." She answered, halting in her steps and turning to face him.

He paused, then chuckled. "You know, I am flattered truly but I'm afraid you shouldn't hope, it is not going to be possible. Lyanna and I are still-"

Livia interrupted his ramblings. "I'm sorry but I'm a little confused."

Robert did not look confused at all, only amused. "Isn't that why you wanted to stay? To marry me and become queen?"

"You think so highly of yourself." She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You haven't changed a bit."

She knew it. He was still the same jerk he was. He always will be. Westeros was going to crumble under his rule. The whole realm was doomed with this man as the king.

She could only take pity on the unlucky soul who is to be his queen. May it be Lyanna or some other girl.

"So you don't want to be queen?" He asked, as if he could not believe that she did not want to be a queen. "Not even my queen?"

"Nothing in this world could ever persuade me to be your queen." She replied, rolling her eyes.

"Yet you almost married that criminal." Robert recalled before laughing. "There won't be any more heirs to that vile creature."

With a flash, anger surged through Livia as she slapped Robert in the face. Everyone in the Kingsguard stepped forward but they stopped when Robert gave them a look.

"You should be ashamed of yourself for speaking that way about innocent children." She said through gritted teeth, her eyes filled with anger.

He met Livia's eyes then as he saw the anger and hurt in them. He was about to speak once more when they heard someone clear their throat.

Both of them turn at the same time to see Ned looking at them with hesitation and shock.

What a sight they must have been.

The king rubbing his cheek and a lady glaring at him as he did so.

Livia decided to end all of the chaos by greeting Ned. "Hello, Ned."

"Livia. Robert." Ned nodded to the two of them as the unlikely pair took a step away from each other.

"I'm afraid I must go now. The day started out beautifully but my hand has started to ache." Livia spoke, waving her hand.

Robert was still rubbing his cheek. "Maybe you should stop using it to solve all your problems then."

Ignoring his words, Livia bade Ned goodbye before walking back towards the Keep.

By the end of that day, Livia Lannister had slapped Robert Baratheon, first of his name, King of the Seven Kingdoms not once but twice in her lifetime.

°•°•°•°•°

"What did you do this time?"

"Why must you assume that it is I who did something?"

"Well, you did, didn't you?"

Robert sighed, shaking his head at his friend. "Aye. I just wanted her to know that I would still marry Lyanna. So she and her father can cease their hoping."

"Oh Robert. You've just wronged the woman." Ned answered, clearly frustrated but lowering his tone. "She's not like the rest of them. She's different from the other Lannisters. You were wrong to judge her."

"That's right. You lot are close now, huh? Oh Ned, oh Livia." Robert spoke in a high voice before laughing.

Ned shook his head at his friend. "She is a good person. Don't be so quick to make assumptions about her."

Robert raised an eyebrow at that before whispering sharply. "Like how you judged her brother?"

"I do not wish to speak of these things. I will depart soon to Dorne. Goodbye Robert." Ned took a step back and was about to leave.

"Are you honestly still angry about the dragonscum?" Robert called out to Ned's retreating form.

Ned paused, before turning. "Children, Robert. They were just children."

"Not to me they weren't." Robert uttered.

They were both silent for a while. Their sturdy friendship forming cracks with their varying beliefs. Robert with his hatred and Ned with his honor.

"You deserved more than that slap. Goodbye, Your Grace."

<>----------------<>