"As a kid. All I wanted was a chicken. I begged and I begged."

"I wanted a pony." Luella breathes, nodding along.

"I want a burger."

"No." I say to Trev, blinking slowly and I continue. "I really wanted this chicken and instead I got my cat. Jasper."

"Your cat died." August mumbles. "Wow." He says then, as I slowly lift my head to give him a glare. His hands are pressed against the top of the coffee table. "My hands are big."

"I really wanted this chicken. But we couldn't."

"I think I should have named my horse pony."

I lift my head and turn to Luella. "You got the pony?"

She shakes her head and takes another drag. "No. I just wanted one."

Amusement is felt in my eyes before it spreads down my cheeks and I laugh, heavily amused at the fact Luella said she had a horse. "But you had a horse?"

"Yes."

I am confused.

"My hands are long." August mutters again and Trev just repeats his moan for food.

"It's too late to order food." Luella mumbles and I just lie back then, my back on the carpet and my head close to August's knee.

He passes me the lit joint and I bring it to my lips. We'd been doing this for what seemed like hours, I think it was hours, I wasn't sure.

I think we should remove the roof. I want to see the stars. I want to see how many days there are left in the sky.

"What are you thinking about?" August asks and my eyes flick from the ceiling to his as he looked down at me.

"So many thoughts."

"Tell me one."

"What are you thinking?" I ask, swaying slightly and then I realise I can't be swaying I am on the floor.

"Is the floor moving?" I whisper and he chuckles, shrugging.

"Hopefully."

"Hopefully?"

"I really want food." Trev says again and Luella gets up, both of them go searching through the kitchen.

"Yes hopefully." August says. "Hopefully the floor is moving in some sense. Hopefully the world is still spinning."

"Hopefully." I agree. "Because otherwise I don't know where to go."

He blinks down at me. "Do you know where to go when the world is spinning?"

"I know that I want to go places." I whisper. "But if it wasn't, if the places all disappeared, then what would we do?"

"We would just remain static."

"I don't want to." I say.

"God." Luella mumbles, sitting back down and she tosses me some chips that she got from their kitchen.

I just hand the joint back to August and he stares down at me. "We aren't going anywhere anyway. You think how big the universe is, you ever just realise we are trapped on this planet?"

"This planet is pretty big."

"But what happens when you see everything." August says. "We are dots. What happens when you have nothing more to see."

"Then you do?" I question. He shakes his head at me.

"No."

"No?"

I wasn't sure if I was following to be honest.

Everything was so bright, his eyes, Luella's. Trev was facing away, he was still upset about not having food. Even though he was eating. I couldn't see his eyes.

I wanted to.

"Trev?"

He leans his head back, hanging off the sofa slightly as we make eye contact.

"Blue?"

"Can I see your eyes?"

"I don't know, can you?"

I look, his eyes are dark, but they are bright too.

"Thankyou."

He nods, sitting back up and Luella climbs up on the sofa then too and she lies her head down in his lap, ignoring the way he stared down at her.

"Emersyn?" She says.

"Yes."

"You ever get that chicken?"

I shake my head and look down at the carpet.

"Never."

"Damn."

"Shall we get a chicken?" August says, looking towards Trev and Trev just nods.

"Sure."

"I will figure it out."

"Thankyou." I whisper and August lowly turns his head to mine.

He pulls a face.

"Wait no. She will come here more."

"I won't. Your house will stink."

August nods. "So chicken-"

"Please stop talking about chicken I am starving." Trev mumbles and I pull another face at the floor.

I do miss chicken nuggets.

Everything seems to be moving a little lower than usual which makes it so much easier to see, to pay attention. It's like I can see everything. Every little exchange, every frown, every shake. My heartbeat is so slow and it's so freaking nice.

I haven't even blushed in a while.

We all fall silent when this song comes on, I don't know it properly, but I can't help but appreciate it so much. I am not merely hearing, I am experiencing. Every drum beat and guitar string sends a message and resonates deeply inside my heart.

I feel so good.

"Emersyn what are your thoughts?" Trev mumbles out after what seems like an hour of silence, I think it was only two sings though.

"Thoughts?" I say.

"Wait." He mumbles. "Question."

"Oh." I whisper.

"Thoughts on fake words."

I blink. "Huh?"

"Like words that no one knows because they are real- that they are just recognised in the writing community. That they are just beautiful words but they aren't usually in the dictionary or they aren't-"

"I don't know what you are saying." I blink.

Words that don't actually exist?

"You mean like- flowery language?"

"Yes." He exclaims. "Opinions?"

"I- it depends on the actual- like- it depends on what the...where the language is."

Trev doesn't understand what I mean. I can't remember the word.

"I mean like in books no. in poetry yes."

Trev just shakes his head. "You don't know the words you're only first year."

My eyebrows raise. "I do."

"What does..." He's trying to think of a word. "illecebrous mean?"

I know these words. I understand now what he meant, what he means by not real words. Like are they real? Are they just not used? Is that how a word becomes real? Who has the right to make up language anyway? I don't know. I wonder who-

"I told you, you don't know." He says.

I let a soft laugh fall between my lips, and I sit up, to look at him properly.

"It means alluring, like enticing, attractive."

He smiles, his eyes bloodshot and struggling to remain open.

"You know it?"

"I know things." I say.

"She knows things." He says. "You know one thing."

"I know everything." I say and he laughs.

"Ustulation."

A burning lust.

I roll my eyes slowly. "Why do you have to say weird ones?"

He chuckles. "I gathered you wouldn't know that one."

"Apodyopsis?" I ask, in retaliation.

Trev smirks and sits up to answer me. "The act of mentally undressing someone." He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I just grin.

"Basorexia."

I roll my eyes. "Overwhelming want to kiss or something."

He nods and he lies down again.

"What about cheiloproclitic." I say and he makes a confused noise.

It's like being attracted to someone's lips.

"Lips." August answers for Trev. "When someone's lips are attractive."

"What are attractive lips?" Luella asks and I look up at August in question and he just shrugs.

"Plump. Red. Wet."

I think if I wasn't so chilled, I would be blushing at his tone.

His voice is always so deep.

"So Em's." Luella says and I look at her and she looks up at Trev and I watch as Trev just stares down at her lips instead of looking over at mine.

"Yeah." T mumbles, agreeing to whatever she says.

"Cingulomania?" August says then and I just look at him.

"How do you know these words?" I ask.

"I get bored. And then I look things up."

I blink. "Stuff that's disconnected to your like math stuff?"

He chuckles and nods. "Yes, Emersyn Rose my intelligence goes beyond the realm of mathematics."

"What like?"

He frowns. "I don't know... science, literature, philosophy."

I like it when people know things.

I swallow. "Sapiosexual." I whisper and his eyes lower to mine fully, connecting our eyes and he slowly smirks.

"That is inappropriate."

A sapiosexual is someone who is attracted to or aroused by the intelligence of others.

I send him a lazy smile and cock my head to the side slightly, looking up at him.

"Oops."

"Emersyn Rose." August whispers and I just stare at him.

"Yes?" Leo's face was a lot sharper than his brother's; you could tell they were closely related but you could also tell that August was older. I forget when I am here, that he is in fact three years older, they don't make me seem young.

"Are you old or am I young?" I say, breaking the intensity of whatever was happening and he just shrugs.

"Every time I think of you as young you tell me you aren't."

"That's because I am not."

"Mm." He hums and I look round at Luella and she is just looking at me with her eyebrows raised.

"Huh?" I say.

She raises her hands in surrender and turns back to T.

"I wanna go and see the stars." I mumble, lying back down and I move away from August as my head touched his knee slightly.

"You are too stoned to leave the flat." He laughs down at me and I just tilt my head up.

"I meant the ceiling."

"What are you on about?" He chuckles and I just sigh and gesture upwards.

"You should redecorate."

"Emersyn if we removed the ceiling nothing would happen other than everything from the flat above would fall on us."

Oh shit.

I look at him and I exaggeratedly face palm.

And I just send him my warmest smile when he laughs and removes my hand from my face.

"I just want the stars." I mumble and he shrugs, tossing my hand out of his hold.

"Google it."

I pout and his eyes remain a little too firmly connected to mine.

"What time is it?" I ask and his eyebrows furrow indicating he wasn't sure either.

"Where's your phone?"

"Um..." I sit um, adjusting my dress so I wasn't so exposed, and I reach for my phone.

"It's three." I mumble.

How had we just been sat around doing nothing for like four hours? God.

"Shit." I whisper, seeing missed messaged from Rayne and I just rub my eyes trying to read them.

"Is it normal that I can't see?" I say and August sits up properly then and takes the phone. Ready to read the messages for me and basically snatch it back from him.

I was high but I was still conscious that Rayne's messages were only for my eyes.

"Sorry." I mumble and he just lies down then, taking my spot on the floor and I feel his presence heavy behind me as he lies down on the little patch of carpet.

He ignores me and I blink a few times, my eyes were dry as.

I cringe and text him back.

My message was two hours late but his name flashes on my screen immediately and I cringe. Our music was loud, Luella and Trev's voices almost louder as they bicker on the sofa and I just turn to look at August who was laid behind me and who had his eyes closed.

I stand up, still shocked at how it feels as if my whole body was feeling in slow-motion. How it felt like I could feel every particle on my skin because I had so much more time to feel it.

I realised then my phone was still ringing and I was still stood frozen.

"Gosh." I whisper and I answer the phone, and I decide to walk out the front door. I wasn't really sure why but I decided to answer the call and go and talk to Rayne quietly in the hall.

"Hey." I say softly.

"Emersyn where are you?"

"What do you mean?" I ask him. "Is everything okay?"

"I- yeah. Are you at Luella's?"

"No I am at Trev's." I say. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to talk to you earlier. Then you didn't reply and I was worried."

"Sorry. I just haven't been on my phone."

"Your voice is off." Rayne says, his voice perplexed.

Don't giggle Emersyn.

Keep it together.

"I am just tired."

"You want me to come and get you?" Rayne says. "Trev's is like five minutes away it's-"

"I meant the flat. I am in the city. It's fine I am supposed to be staying over."

Rayne pauses then, confused.

"Are you with August?"

I frown. "Yeah he's here too."

"Do you want me to come get you?" He says and I pause.

"I-"

I mean I wanna see him, we aren't exactly doing anything.

"And go back to yours?" I ask. "It'll take you like half an hour to get here."

"Yeah I know. But I- what are yous doing? Is it a party?"

"No." I say softly. "It's just us four."

"Well do you want to stay there or do you want to go home with me?"

"I can't really go home." I admit. "Like I can't wake anyone up and they'll smell it on me."

"You've been smoking?" He rushes out, shock evident and I rub my face in drowsiness now.

"Yeah but it was good, like we just did it us four and like-"

"My brother-"

"Yeah, but I wanted to."

"Did you or did you get talked into it Em?"

"I- I am not that easily manipulated." I mumble.

Unless it's from him. Ha.

"I wanna see you, just like check on you. But obviously if you wanna stay there then I won't come and get you but if you wanna sleep at mine then can I come?"

I think about it.

The sofa, or Rayne's double bed.

He double bed sounds good.

"Come." I say gently. "You can meet people."

"Emmy I have met them before. One of them is my brother."

A laugh falls from my lips then and I nod. "Okay I won't smoke anymore."

"Good." Rayne laughs and then I hear him getting his things together.

"Have you been drinking?"

"No." He says. "And I am wide awake anyway so-"

"Okay." I smile. "I am going to go back in. Drive safe?"

"You wont stay on the phone?"

"No. You should concentrate plus it's really cold out here in the hall."

He laughs and I just shiver. It was freezing. I think it was the transition from sitting on the carpet to floorboards really got to me.

"Okay I will see you in a bit."

"Okay." I say ending the call and I reach back up to the handle and I groan when I locked myself out.

I knock on the door.

Nothing.

I knock again.

Nope.

"Guys." I groan, shivering and this is when August wide eyed opens the door and throws me his most unimpressed face.

"Shit Emersyn I forgot about you. We thought it was an angry neighbour."

I laugh, grinning at him even though he was the moodiest person alive and I duck under his arm and back into the apartment. Luella and Trev were sat up and I go and clamber on them, wrapping my arms around Luella and she just doesn't blink an eye, adjusts so I am sat on her lap and my legs are over Trev.

"I am freezing." I whine, hugging her more and Luella just hugs me back.

"Where did you go?" T says, moving my legs up and I pout when he stands and stops being one contact of warmth.

He grabs his duvet from his room and throws it over us, sitting back down and he lets me put my legs back on him.

Yay okay.

"I was on the phone." I say and close my eyes as Luella moves so we were both laying down now, comfy on the sofa under Trev's blanket.

"You talked to your boyfriend?" She mumbles and I nod, yawning and ignoring the fact I was supposed to be staying awake.

"Yes he's coming." I mumble back.

"Huh?" This was Trev now and when I don't respond his hand wraps around my ankle and he shakes my leg.

"My thigh jiggled." I giggle, and I reach my hand down and I poke it again.

"My thigh jiggled too." Luella says and amusement hits me full on when I realise I poked her leg not mine.

"Jiggled." I laugh and I open my eyes and I think Luella and I were both shocked to see our faces so close and she bursts into laugher, like full on her head presses back, her eyes closed and the laughter shocked both the other guys.

But as soon as she's off I burst into the same hysterics.

It wasn't even funny.

Goodness.

"Oh jiggle-jiggled." I gasp out, the word just bringing us both into loud screaming laughter and Trev actually reaches to cover Luella's mouth and she tried to bat his hand away.

"We are too loud." Trev groans.

I couldn't help it, the need to be quiet made the whole thing so much funnier and we were both laughing again, and somehow Lue manages to push me off the sofa, making me thump to the floor.

"Ow." I groan, knowing that'll leave a few bruises. I tend to bruise way too easily.

"Brilliant." I mumble, sobered up and I try and untangle myself from the double duvet and I can't.

"Leo help me please." I call, his presence evident besides me. He was rolling another joint and I just reached my hand out to grab him, to get his attention.

I grab hold of his thigh and press my hand over it, tapping him a few times.

"I am trying to concentrate." August huffs.

I just need help. I am trapped. I use my nails to dig into his thigh a little, and shockingly his skin is so warm under my hand that I knew my hand or well fingertips would be icy against his skin. So I knew he would have to acknowledge at least that.

He does.

His hand shoots down and grabs my wrist and I am utterly taken back by the heat across his features.

"Don't do that."

I swallow. I don't understand what I did so wrong?

"Did I hurt you?" I whisper confused. I just press my nails into his leg slightly.

And he just tosses my wrist away from him like he did earlier, and his hand comes up to pinch in between his brows.

"No."

"No?"

"No Emersyn it didn't hurt."

"Then why did you get mad?"

He sighs. "What do you want anyway?"

"I need help getting up."

August rolls his eyes and he kneels over me, pulling the duvet away from me, basically untucking me from the area between the sofa and the coffee table and he tosses the duvet up to Luella and Trev.

Then he averts his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh, standing up and he picks up the grinder from the coffee table and takes everything up to the kitchen side.

"Your boobies are almost out girl." Luella giggles and she leans down, pulling my dress up for me and I just send her a lazy smile, shrugging.

Oh fucking well, it's just cleavage. Why did August get all weird? I should have let it go, but instead there's like this innate drive in me to wind him up.

"You recon I should get my nipples pierced then?" I say directed at Lue but honestly, I was just watched August who tensed and comically bent down and banged his head against the counter a few times.

"August." I laugh and he looks up, narrowing his eyes at me.

"I would." Luella says laughing too, unaware that I was not serious I just caught on to August being uncomfortable and I wanted to make it worse.

"Please do." Trev says and he catches Luella's hand when she lifts it and he pulls her harshly to him.

"Lue you know I am just basing my answer on how much I like yours."

She glares.

"Stop being so-"

"I am sure our friends know we are fucking Lue." Trev mumbles, sliding down on the couch more and Luella just huffs and pulls away from him.

"No they don't."