Can we talk about my sudden love for flared trousers? Like okay, hear me out, I have this thing with my body shape where most of the time I feel I look weird...

But I felt so good tonight.

Like I refused to think anything negative and so stood in my kitchen waiting for Rayne to come and pick me up, I actually felt confident.

Like I actually looked good.

I straightened my hair tonight, which I haven't done in a while and it was so freaking long, but I had pinned the front out of my face so it wasn't going to annoy me.

I was wearing some black highwaisted flared trousers with a black bandeau style top on top. I looked good, I did, I felt like I wasn't sweet Em, that I was in total control tonight.

"You look nice." My mum smiles as she walks in and my dad actually lifts his head, his attention caught with her entrance and her words.

His eyes scan me. "Yeah bubba you look beautiful."

I raise an eyebrow at bubba and he just sends me a smile, opening his right arm for my mum as she walks in to lean against his side.

I was drinking a vodka and lemonade; my dad had actually given me it a second ago. He's never necessarily strict, but it isn't usual for him to actually pour me a drink when he was making himself one. But he actually just offered me one today and I took it.

"Where you going?" My mum asks.

It was only seven in the evening, and Rayne was on his way to pick me up to bring me along to his gig tonight. Not really a gig, he was singing in this evening café. They do live performances, poetry nights and comedy. They have a licence to serve alcohol and when Rayne was telling me about it, it actually seemed like such a nice evening.

I love watching Rayne sing, his voice is literally golden to me, it sooths me so much more than anything else. And he doesn't always realise or recognise how good he is, so the support is necessary for him.

Just- he's going to be up their singing and I am going to be stuck with Will, Amelia and Harrison and his girlfriend Kathie.

I would normally be nervous but I am trying to channel some confident girl energy for tonight.

So instead of nervous I just felt slightly uninterested with them.

"There's this Café called Art Café. Rayne is singing and I am just going to go watch, have a few drinks with his friends."

My mum smiles at that, nodding. "Are you coming home tonight?" She asks and I shrug.

"Yeah I think so- I just sort of play it by ear. Does that bother you?" I ask and my dad hugs my mum to him slightly, rubbing her arm in reassurance and I just sort of start at the action.

I guess it does.

"No baby." My mum smiles. "Just let us know I suppose."

"I can come home mum, it's fine. It's in the city so Rayne will have to come home anyway. Rayne and I just never decide before the night ends where we are staying."

My mum nods and my dad looks at her, amusement evident in his eyes and he leans down and presses a kiss against my mums forehead.

"Stop stressing." He whispers and he looks up at me then. "Stop being stressful."

I lift my hands up in surrender. "I don't understand."

He smiles at me and leaves my mums side to wrap an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side and I just lean into him knowing this hug is more for him than me.

My dad pulls away and I run my fingers through my hair a few times to straighten it back out.

"I won't go out." I say honestly. "Mum if it's stressing you?"

She just laughs and shakes her head at me. "You are too sweet, I am just being silly. Go out and have fun Emersyn, this is what being young is all about."

That's what I've been saying.

I smile at that.

"Okay well." My phone is flashing, and I just turn it over so they don't have to see my light. "I am going."

"Okay baby, you should take a jacket, you're going to be cold."

"We're going to be inside all night and it's pretty warm out still." I smile at her and down the rest of my drink, trying not to cringe at the end of it.

"I don't know whether rto be proud or shocked at that." My dad mumbles after I put the glass back down and we make eye contact.

I just give him a sheepish toothy grin.

"Goodnight I love you both." I say, jumping off my stool and they both smile at me.

"To the moon and back?" My mum asks and I laugh, grabbing my purse and I walk around to her and press a kiss on her cheek.

"Moon and stars mum."

And then I make a quick escape.

...

The café spread a warm candlelight type of glow through the open space and I just grinned at the warmth and at the cosy atmosphere that surrounded us.

I met Harrison and Kathie, they are fine, she's very nice. I think I caught him staring at my ass. I was not best pleased. But I am trying to pretend that he's not an asshole for Rayne's sake. We were sat around a pretty small circular table and Rayne and I were close, obviously it not even weird because we are so close friends but it also seemed pretty normal for us to be this close, talking and laughing with each other in front of his friends considering the role we were playing.

"Shit." I whisper, lifting my hand to his neck and I cringe at the bruise left on his skin.

"Yeah I know." He chuckles. "You were so mad at them that you actually left a mark."

I wiggled my eyebrows jokingly at him and Rayne just laughed and pushed my hand away from him.

"Yeah sorry." I admit and look back down at the table, reaching for my drink.

"So how did you two meet then?" Harrison asks and I lift my eyes to his, confused. Rayne and I had always been friends, like we went to high school with the people.

My straw in my mouth, Rayne answers for me.

"Our families are close. We've been mates for years." He says and I lift my eyes to my best friends and give him a smile. He returns it.

"How's the writing going Em?" Amelia says and I turn my smile towards her.

"I honestly haven't been doing much lately, I've been so busy. But I am planning to finish a first chapter draft I have been working on tomorrow. The people who I went to Italy with we are like continuing to share drafts and writing pieces and we're like exchanging feedback and opinions and stuff."

"You write?" Kathie asks and I nod, taking another sip of my drink. I was drinking Gin.

It was new, and they had loads and loads of cool flavours and well Rayne was paying because that's the deal. I play good girlfriend and he buys me drinks.

Well this is the deal we came up with on the drive over.

"I do." I smile. "Not like seriously. Although I am studying it next year."

"Oh creative writing?"

"English lit with creative attached." I smile and Harrison nods.

"You going local?"

I nod. "Their English department is really good."

He smiles. "What about you Ray?"

Ray.? Gross.

Rayne.

"I am just going with the flow." He laughs and we quieten down when someone starts to sing, it was a young girl, probably even younger than us and we all listened pretty intently to her. She was so good.

"I am up next."

I grin at Rayne. "How many songs?"

"A few."

"I am excited I haven't heard you sing for so long."

"Oh I forgot you didn't come the other week." Will says then, almost harshly, or well his tone was off and I slowly turned to him.

"I was busy."

That was the night Rayne and Will spent the evening here, Rayne singing, Will just listening. It was the same night I went to Trev's party for the first time.

"What were you doing?" He asks and I just blink at him.

Well since Rayne abandoned our plans for you William, I was spending time getting drunk with then strangers.

"I can't remember now." I say trying to smile warmly at the guy who was suddenly awfully cold.

"I just know Rayne appreciates the support tonight." He smiles back and I just try not to laugh.

He was- I guess defensive. I don't know. I guess he feels like I should have been here for Rayne the other night. William doesn't know the half of it, he doesn't know that Rayne and I aren't actually together, he doesn't know that I know that him and Rayne have feelings for each other.

He is just judging me and all I can see if his blatant affection for Rayne shining through.

At least I know he cares I suppose.

"Well Will." I grin, leaning into Rayne and he wraps his arm around my waist. "It's a good think I am here then isn't it?"

He nods, tensely and Amelia is just staring between us slightly confused.

She's picking up on the weird vibes he's giving off.

Rayne is distracted talking to Harrison and Kath about the set he's about to perform and I am just staring back unintimidated by the large rugby player.

I dunno where the confidence is coming from today. But it feels better than being shy so- I am just going with it.

I finish my drink and I send a grin towards Rayne and I take his drink, swapping our straws and then I lift my eyes back to Wills, Rayne's drink up to my lips and I raise an eyebrow.

"Thank you for supporting my boyfriend last week, I am sure it meant so much to him."

Will's eyes glare into mine and then he looks down, stressed.

And I blink at myself then, frowning and putting the glass back down.

Maybe that was cruel.

Goodness, why did I- I just still feel awful for Amelia.

"Emmy?" Rayne whispers into my ear and I turn to him.

"You good?"

"Yes." I smile reassuringly. "I drank our drinks."

His eyebrows raise and then a laugh falls out of his mouth as he realises what I had done.

"You don't even like rum."

He had a rum and coke.

"I do." I say. "It was actually rather pleasant."

He just laughs at me and then he lifts his guitar up to his lap and starts to fiddle with it.

I shall go and get us more drinks then.

"You want another of the same?" I ask and he nods and well honestly the mood I was in tonight didn't even let me think about offering the other's drinks.

I just got up and headed to the bar.

Usually I would have just offered to get everyone something, but I think I was moody.

I am not sure what I am feeling.

I am feeling good. I just don't necessarily feel like sweet Em tonight, I just-

"What can I get ya?" The barman asks and I smile softly at him.

"Can I please get a rhubarb gin and ginger beer and also a dark rum and coke?"

"Captain Morgan's okay?"

"Please." I smile at him and he nods, setting about getting me the drinks.

"You here with people?" He asks as he slides the drinks over and I nod, tapping my card down on the reader.

"Which table are you?" The guy asks.

He was much older, but he was honestly very pretty. Like almost a little dazzling pretty.

Pretty probably isn't the best term, I just mean he has super light hair and super bright eyes, his skin almost translucent under the bar lights.

"Table 6 why?" I ask, nodding over to our table and he just shrugs.

"Just I wanna know where to send you drinks."

I narrow my eyes slightly at that.

"I am Tyler." He flashes me a grin and I just blink a little shocked.

I nod over to the table. "I better get back, Tyler."

He grins slightly. "To a boyfriend?" He asks.

I just nod stupidly, that is where I was going.

"I see I may not be your type?" He says quietly, amused as his eyes scan Rayne, my chair empty besides him.

"Guys who flirt with random girls aren't really my type."

Tyler chuckles at that and then he leans across the bar, resting his elbows down.

"How about we go for a drink after my shift? Then you won't be a random girl."

"Are you forgetting that I have a boyfriend." I say, my nose scrunching up and he just smiles slightly, his eyes dropping down from mine to focus on a few other places of myself.

I felt warm. Embarrassed.

But I also felt a slight temptation.

Tyler was fit, very cocky, which wasn't exactly attractive but the way he smirked up at me made me wanna step towards him.

"I am not forgetting." He laughs. "I just don't care."

I can't help but let my lips tug up at that, my eyes dart back to Rayne and we aren't even together but when his eyes meet mine a small shock runs through me at being caught talking to Tyler.

"I better be off." I say again, actually taking the drinks away and walking back to Rayne.

"Chatty bartender?"

"You could say that." I mumble, sitting back down and passing him his drink.

"That's Tyler." Amelia says. "He's chatty." She empathises and I laugh at that, understanding that means he's a tad bit of a fuck boy.

Why was I attracted though?

Think I'm just fucking bored to be honest. Having a boyfriend but not actually having a boyfriend is boring when I'm in this mood where I just wanna do slightly reckless things.

"When are you singing?" I ask and Rayne takes a gulp of his drink which roughly translated to now.

I laugh. "You playing upbeat or chill?" I ask.

He shakes his hand horizontally and shrugs. "Bit of both."

"Okay go. Good luck." I smile and Rayne stands but places a small kiss on my cheek and he thanks the rest of the table for wishing him luck too.

"You can tell you two know each other so well." Amelia smiles and I sends her a small smile back.

"Yeah since we were five."

"That's so long." Harrison says and I cross one of my legs over another, sitting back on my chair and I nod at the guy.

"Wait." I say quickly, looking at Will. "Are you and Tyler related?"

They looked freaking similar, like Will just seemed like a musclier version.

"Cousin." He nods. "Why?"

"I was just curious?" I smile, then look back at Harrison.

"Yeah it's such a long time. But like at least there was no awkward meet the parent stage."

Harrison laughs at that and Kath starts to tell us about the first time she met Harrison's mumma. She walked in on them.

I was cringing along side them. And then Rayne started to play and I drew my attention on him entirely.

Under the red tinted lights of the little stage I just grinned at how comfortable he seemed now that he was actually up there.

He was sat down, indicating he was going to play a slow song and I grinned at that, clapping along with our table as he introduced himself to the other people in the room and then properly started to stum away at his guitar.

I did love him, so much. I think that is why my defences are so up tonight, because Rayne doesn't deserve to be messed around.

But then, I wonder what Will thinks. I wonder what he feels.

Rayne starts singing and I just sort of melt into my seat like I always do, a genuine happy smile on my face as I just listen to him sing, listen to him do his thing.

This is what he should be pursuing. He knows it, I know it. I just don't think he really believes it.

I lift my legs up on the chair and just stir my drink, looking around the table and I smile when Harrison and Kath are just talking amongst themselves and then my smile falls when Amelia is looking down at her phone and Will is just staring at Rayne.

His voice drifting over all of us, I stare at Will and I am almost floored by the genuine feelings I see written across his face and I almost feel the need to tell him to hide it better. But also- I was so conflicted.

They should just be together if this is honestly how much they felt.

Goodness.

I look down at my own phone and a big smile gets pulled up when I see the messaged from Luella.

I guess she saw my location.

I almost laugh out loud at that last message and I reply to her.

I just laugh at her disregard of the fact I am busy and I shake my head slightly and tell her I can't.

My eyes widen.

I smile at that.

I asked her if she wanted to come to this field with me tomorrow. Which I know, it doesn't sound like a very good outing. But a few towns away there is this field where literally a random selection of beautiful flowers grow amongst each other, it is beautiful and I am searching for some inspiration.

I offer this because I do feel bad, her and Trev were such a complicated mess but he knows that it would hurt her if he got with someone else. I mean you don't have to be a genius to see that.

My eyebrows shoot up at that.

I smile that she agreed.

I frown.

"Em?" Rayne's voice startles me and I look up at him wide eyes, his lips to the microphone.

"Come sing my last song with me?" He asks.

I shake my head immediately, ignoring the way Amelia cooed at us.

"Rayne." I hiss, blushing when I feel the entire café's eyes on me.

"Please? We haven't sung together in so long."

I momentarily thought I wanted to be a singer. When I was younger. The same way I wanted to be a painter, a interior designer, a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a chef...

I go through things quickly.

We haven't sang together because I don't like the attention, Rayne however loves it.

"Song can be your choice? Bleeding Love? The world ending song?"

I just stress because he was talking straight through the microphone at me and everyone was starting to watch me expectantly, to stand up and go over to him.

I look at our table and Amelia laughs at my distressed look.