"Em!" Luella exclaims from her position on the sofa and I just startle slightly, bumping against August's chest as he walked into me, seeing as he hadn't notice me pause and he makes an annoyed huff, slipping around me and heading into the room.

There were quite a few people here, it was almost like the first party but this one was happening at their flat. Which made me raise my eyebrows, but I went with it.

"Lue." I smile, when she was drunk she always had this blank look in her eyes, her eyes drowsy looking. When she was high you could tell by the way her eyes were slightly bloodshot.

This time her eyes looked sober. Which was peculiar, seeing as her text messages read time to drink basically.

As I walked towards her and this guy who if I remember rightly, his name is Robin, I scanned the room for Trev.

And like Lue said, he was on the other armchair, a girl wrapped around him, looking awfully comfy.

It even made me uncomfortable.

"Hey." I smile, collapsing down next to her. "It's raining so much out there."

She grinned and laughed, not at all listening but her laugh was exaggerated, loud.

Oh goodness.

"Shall we go for a toilet break?" I say quietly and she just deflated faintly. And then Luella nodded.

"Come on." I stand, reaching for her hand and I pulled her with me as we walked towards their bathroom.

The boys had ensuites I have learnt, but they also have a toilet just off besides one of their rooms, that's where we ended up.

Me sat on the lid, Luella, whisper ranting as she paces the centimetres of space we had.

"He fucking- I am so angry Emersyn."

I have never heard her use my full name, jeez.

"I am so pissed and I shouldn't be pissed and so I am pissed at myself for letting it get so far that I am pissed. But fucking hell it hurts. Like shit and if Greyson knew-"

She is clutching her hair now and I am just nodding along, watching wide eyed.

"Shit he would be so hurt too. If he knew I was hurt that T is getting with someone else."

"No he wouldn't." I say softly.

She glares at me. I decide that reassuring her is not the best route to help her. I keep silent as she rants.

"I fuck Trev because it makes me feel better Em. That is all. Orgasms help with grief."

I swallowed. Don't be awkward. Don't be awkward-

"God Em, stop blushing."

I just send her a sheepish smile.

"I sleep with him because it is a self-destructive thing, because he reminds me of Grey, because he gives me attention." She whispers and then she looks at me and my heart hurts because there are actual tears in her eyes.

"Fuck when did I mess up so bad that he has the power to hurt me?"

"Luella." I whisper and she just huffs, running a hand through her blonde hair and then she just lets out a pretty loud groan and she shoves her hands aggressively against the door.

That would have been noticeable from the outside.

I don't mention it.

"I just- fuck I haven't drunk or smoked or taken anything because I am trying this thing where it's like day on day off. I make myself have a sober day. This is a sober day. I hate it."

I just nod.

"I also hate whispering I just want to fucking scream."

I smiled at that. "Then scream."

"I can't." She hisses at me. "Because then he'll know I am upset!"

I shrug. "Let him know."

"No." Luella grits and she slams her back against the bathroom door and slides down it so she's hugging her knees. "I can't believe he kissed someone else in front of me."

"Neither can I." I say honestly. "He cares about you-"

She glares at me again.

Okay words- no.

"You wanna get out of here?" I say and she shakes her head.

"No Emersyn because I don't want him to know I am upset!"

"Okay okay."

"But I wanna kill him."

I nod. "I can help."

She smiles at that, slightly.

"You'd help?"

"Yeah, I write. I have killed characters before. Even researched it." I shrug. "I know how to get rid of a body where-"

"Okay I love you." She grins and then she laughs. "But I am slightly afraid now."

"I couldn't hurt a fly." I smile back and Luella laughs.

"That's what you want us to think."

Nodding I agree, pulling my hair out of the grips so it falls back in front of my ears. "All part of my master plan."

"I- I want to do something I want to shout but I don't want the fucker to know-"

"You wanna go scream in the rain?"

She rolls her eyes. "Not a chance."

This is exactly what she needs. I have decided.

"Come on it's chucking it down. We'll go scream in the rain, and mess around and-"

"You are a literal child." She laughs and stands up. "Em babe I am not going out there- like we will get soaked, I have makeup on we-"

"We are going outside." I state, standing up too.

"No."

"Yep."

I grab Luella's hand and she laughs as if she thinks I am joking and instead I just pull her out of the bathroom with me.

"You girlies were in there a long time." Some randomer calls, smirking.

Luella flips him off and I don't even get a chance to absorb his suggestive tone before she replies. "Yes I was finger fucking her, I have skills you'll never have Ben."

Well then. I try not to let the shocked noise out of the back of my throat.

I just continue pulling her towards the flat door and she is trying to protest.

I can slightly hear her saying no.

I don't care.

She needs to scream in the rain and the wind.

I don't bother looking around for the guys, or for anyone really I just manage to navigate around the people and I pull the door open and pull Luella out into the hall.

"Okay so obviously you can go back in if you want. But it's raining so hard, and this is one of the things I love okay? Let's go and dance out in the rain Lue and lets feel nature against our skin and let the power from the earth absorb into us and then we can go and face T and show him that you are just living your own life regardless of whatever he's doing."

Luella just looks at me, undecided.

"We can shout?" I offer.

She nods.

"Fine why the fuck not? Let's do it."

"My thought's exactly." I grin and then I offer my hand out again and for some reason I feel the need to run, so poor Lue is running along behind me, our hands connected and I don't wait for her to catch her breath when we get to the stairs.

Nope.

We run down those too.

And I am grinning, and she is just harshly glaring at me as she open the front doors, but we both voluntarily head out into the pouring night.

Most of the time I believe rain is best when you are tucked up safe at home, I love it's serenade on the roof and steady drumming on the windows. I love the cosy feeling when I look out from my spot on my window ledge and watch it enrich the sweet brown soils and make every leaf glossy.

It is the liquid goodness that goes into the roots of the earth and brings in power.

Well tonight Luella and I needed some power.

So down the skies pours and here we stood, dripping wet and freezing cold letting the rain wash over us.

And then I dropped to the floor, lying down in the street and Luella just stares down at me.

I just stared up.

Until the water in my eyes made me close them.

And then she lies down too.

And we are laughing.

The sky open, cars zooming past us and we laugh and laugh and laugh as they splash us, it was terrifying and exhilarating and then we stand, we stand and the streetlights around us illuminate the absolute mess of the street.

The drains struggling to keep up with the almost furious downpour and then suddenly we are running and jumping in puddles and screaming as we kick water at each other.

And for the first time Luella just pauses, she pauses her heart pumping, her lungs struggling, and she smiles. Like toothy, cheeks puffed, eyes squinted, Luella smiles at me and I just grin back.

And then we just continue, we fucking mess around, we dance, spin, lie down in fucking puddles because why the hell not?

And then we are whistled at, from above and we both pause in the middle of the road and we look up, absolutely drenched to the bone and we make out August and Trev looking down at us out of their flat window.

T shouts something.

Luella flips him off.

Nods to me.

I do the same.

And then we continue. And I know they watch.

Well we continue until I am so so so cold and Luella is feeling my hands and my cheeks and telling me we need to go back inside.

I just agree because I am always cold and so warmth would be appreciated.

I am shivering, still holding Luella's hand and not only are we wet we are honestly such a state it's hilarious. Both of our make up is spread down our cheeks, skin not just glossy but dirty, full on we look like shit and it is just great.

"I am showering I don't care what anyone says." She mutters and I nod.

"P-please." I nod. I need a shower too.

"Shit we are literally dripping." She grins and we exit the lift onto T's floor.

"Are we going to fight T or Leo for access to showers?"

"Whoever I don't even care anymore." Lue laughs and we head down the hall way to his door, cringing as the party was still pretty loud from even out here. Poor neighbours.

"What are you doing next year?" Luella asks. "For housing?"

I shrug and she pushes the door open, it was unlocked tonight it seems.

"Was going to be halls, like dorms but I am not sure."

She nods and as we walk into the flat properly, people stop and look at us, raising eyebrows at the mess.

Luella just looks at me and I laugh, shrugging at the strangers. I didn't even care.

"What are you on Lue?" T says, "You mess." He laughs.

I pause, looking at them all stood around the kitchen counters. There were peole by the sofa, some people stood up talking by the table which held a good amount of alchol, but most of the people I knew were in the kitchen. Trev was leant against the side, his hands either side of a pretty Asian girl who's name was unknown to me. August was stood besides them, his eyes tired, bored and he just looked at us as if we were a hindrance on him.

"I am sober thankyou very much." She says and she then turns slightly sour. "Don't need substances to enjoy myself with Em. Some people you just naturally click with- without the need to get fucked up in their presence."

He raises his hands in surrender and we both watch as the girl laughs and touches his face.

Then Lue grabs my hand and she pulls me with her into August's room.

Well then, I guess we are using his room.

August's room wasn't interesting, nothing fun left on the sides or on his bed. It seemed unnaturally clean, tidy, which made me wince when I remembered the current state of my bedroom. My parents never really say anything about the state of my room, it's not unclean, I just, my brain moves from one thing to another really quickly sometimes which leaves me with a messy ass room.

I don't know if that is a valid excuse.

"I need to clean my room." I admit, walking over to August's book shelves which were right next to his desk.

The desk was so big, like who even needs a desk this large?

"You do." Lue nods. "But I kinda liked the chaos."

"Yeah me too." I laugh, reaching forward to grab a book and this is when August follws us into his room.

"Hands away." He says immeditaly and my hand drops, turning around to him.

His eyes are steadily attached to mine and I drop mine, always. His eyes are intimidating.

I'd like to pretend that he doesn't intimidate me, but he does. Sometimes.

"Why are you in here?" He mutters, looking directly at me still but Luella answers.

"We are showering. Getting changed."

"And what makes you think you can just-"

"To be honest August, you'd let me do this normally. You just have a stick up your ass when it comes to my friend."

I lift my eyes to his then. "I am really cold." I admit and his jaw ticks.

I know he was going to let us shower, like he's not going to say no. But he's mad about it.

"That is what happens when you go and stand out in the rain."

"We were letting loose." Luella laughs, throwing him a shinning smile and she opens his draws and takes out a few towels. She knew exactly where they were.

That makes me slightly surprised. I guess. I don't know.

"You should try it some time." I say softly and he shakes his head, almost unnoticeably. He looks mad.

"Go smoke or something." Luella laughs. "You need to chill."

August just walks towards me then and my chest rises and falls quickly, anxiety slightly taken over as I slide my eyes from his to Luella's for help.

Then his hand comes to my hip and I just try not to audibly gasp at the contact. he nudges my hip and I realise he was pushing me out of the way so he could reach into his other chest of draws.

"You can change into these. But don't go through my shit for anything else."

He opens his third draw and searches around it, then tosses a top of his over to Luella and then he doesn't make eyecontact with me as he holds out one for me too.

"August babe, you got any shorts?" She says. "Otherwise we'll be commando and I am not going back out with those lot with no underwear on."

He looks even more annoyed, not looking at either of us but he nods and crosses over his room again.

He has a shopping bag by his door and he crouches to go through it. "Boxers which are new." Leo says tossing the packet at Lue.

"Didn't think you'd be a boxer type of guy August."

He just throws her an unimpressed look and I am stood here literally in pain now about how cold I was, my teeth chattering and obnoxiously noticeable in the little tension bubble that August brings with him everywhere.

"Get in the God damn shower." He snaps, looking at me and I just take a step back, bumping against his desk just at the tone of voice he used and he immeidtaly frowned.

I don't usually cower away from his grumpiness, but tonight I was tired, cold, and a few gins down.

I wanted to shower I was waiting for him to leave.

"Come on." Luella says, opening his ensuite up and I lower my eyes to the floor, away from him and I walk into the smaller room.

"It's so freaking cold." I mumble, sitting down on the toilet seat and Luella starts to turn on the hot water.

"How'd you know where everything is?" I ask and she just looks at me suddenly surprised I was mentioning it.

"We had to shower August once. He was a mess. More than once to be honest so I just know-"

My eyebrows raise. I never get information about August from like my family or his, obviously they don't offer up secrets to me. Whereas Luella it was different, a mutual friend, ish anyway, she didn't even think about it I guess.

"You can get in the shower first." She says and I just nod. Not even really thinking about her presence as I stand and we swap places, and I turn my back, starting to pull off my clothes.

She sits on the toilet, her eyes lowered to her phone which she grabbed from the kitchen side on our way in.

"What do you mean a mess?"

"Just he gets in messes." She laughs and ignores me.

Jeez why do I want to push this so much?

Respect it Em. You don't need to know.

Luella looks up then, our eyes connecting in the mirror.

"Why do you two have this tension? Like he's Rayne's brother isn't he?"

I nod at her and push my trousers down, quickly finishing getting undressed. I was so cold.

"I don't know, we just don't get along. I thought it was him not liking me, but since we've been spending more time together we just- we don't click well."

Lue nods and then her eyes lower in amusement. "We have crossed over the friend barrio to close friends now."

"What do you mean?" I laugh and she laughs.

"You are naked."

"Yeah well." I laugh too and get into the bath, pulling the shower curtain past me but I poke my head out.

"I was not complaining sweet Em." Luella laughs and I smile, shaking my head at her grin.

I step now under the water and I sigh in content, the warmth helping so much and then I look around his bath tub.

For a 21 year old student, I was surprised by its cleanness. Just a few products dotted around and I pick up his shower gel and my eyes widen when I realise this is what he smells of all the time. A mixture of lemon and mint.

It smells nice.

And now I am going to smell of him.

I just wash quickly, trying to wash away my makeup but not really succeeding that well without a mirror.

And then we swap, Luella gets in and I get out and I just continue to try and wash my face, a towel wrapped around me, another one wrapped around my hair.

My face was finally bare and I get changed into the clothes August left for us before Luella gets out the shower.

When she gets out I am just sat on the toilet waiting for her and I suppose I could go back into August's room but- well I don't wanna piss him off honestly.

I guess I just am not in the mood to annoy him tonight.

Even though I most definitely was annoying him.

"Any warmer?" She asks and I nod, even though I was still pretty chilly in just a top and some shorts.

"Your nipples say otherwise."

My eyes gape, crossing my hands over my chest and she laughs loudly, turning back towards the mirrow and she removes the makeup that had run down her face.

"Emersyn have you slept with that pretty boyfriend of yours yet?"

I don't know what to say.

I don't know how far to lie about this- goodness.

"Em?" She asks turning around.

I just pull my hair towel off and let my hair fall down my back and I stand, opening the bathroom door and walking out into his bedroom.

Ignoring her question.

She stays, getting dressed and I sit cross legged on August's bed. Sinking in almost, his duvet was thick and honestly I didn't know what time it was, I didn't even really know where my phone and bag was, but the thought of crawling under the covers and sleeping crossed my mind.

"You think I should cut my hair?" I ask her as soon as she walks out too.

Her eyebrows raise.

"I suppose you did just make me do one of your things, now it's one of my things."

I swallow. "I am very tired." I admit and she laughs at that.

"It doesn't have to be tonight." She nods. "But we have to find something fun, reckless to do."

"How about cutting my hair?" I ask running my fingers through the wet strands and Luella's eyes narrow slightly.

"How short?"

I shrug. "I want it long still but not this long, I feel like a kid."

She smiles slightly and then looks at my length. "How about under tits?"

I nod. "Will you cut it?" I ask and she grins, shrugging.

"It's not even as if we are pissed, like I'm sober."

I just agree. I don't really care anymore.

It's just hair.

I stand up and walk towards his desk chair, sitting on it, one of my legs under me and I swivel round to see her.

"Go get scissors?" I ask.

Luella grins, turning around to leave.