It was morning time again. Somehow. Somehow, we had both slept for so long that light was streaming through, a thin layer of sweat was coating my skin, his arm still wrapped around me and I turn into him.

I turn my face into the crook of his neck and August wakes slowly, tracing his hand down my back and pulling me closer into him.

I felt so... in love. With him. I felt so utterly enamoured it was an almost painful feeling.

"I need..."

"What do you need?" He whispers.

"To get up, shower. I- our families God August."

He slowly pulls back, and he nods, rubbing his face and he starts to sit up properly in bed.

"It's fine they won't get to us Emersyn."

I lean down and reach for my dress, frowning as I listen to his words.

"What?" I ask, standing up out of bed and August just stares at me confused.

He was shaking. His hands, his legs.

"What's wrong?" I say quickly.

"Why are you naked?"

I pull my dress down and smile a little. "Well I am not anymore."

His face converts to one of pure confusion and I watch as he slowly discovers he is naked too.

"Why the fuck- what did we do?"

I blink at him.

"August?"

He lets out a staggered breath. "Oh fuck, Rayne is going to kill me."

"What why? Why is Rayne going-"

He turns his back to me, his heads hanging in his hands and I just feel my heart start racing.

"August?"

"You're his girl Emersyn. I can't believe I would do this. Fuck."

I walk around to him, my hands shaky because what is going on? I crouch down, using his knees as balance and he flinches away from my touch.

Okay that hurt.

"August? It's okay. Rayne and I weren't ever together. It was fake. It was for him to feel safe. You know this. Remember?"

His eyes flash open to me. "If we go home to your parents your dad is going to kill me."

I let out a sigh of slight relief. "He won't kill you." I smile a little. "We just gotta go and-"

"No like he'll kill us both. Don't you get it? It's not safe."

"I-"

"And fuck off Emersyn."

My eyes widen.

"I told you we were not doing this and look at us, you-"

He shakes his head at me. "Everyone thinks you are such a fucking good person."

I swallow.

"But you aren't."

I just stare up at his face, his face that should be showing the emotions his words are feeling.

He just looks blank.

His eyes-

"You are a manipulative bitch."

Ouchies. Oh no.

I fall back, sitting on my ass and he just stares down at me. "You are nothing."

"Aug-"

"No you are nothing. You think you are kind, you think you are some sort of light for people but you aren't. You find people who are dark and you stand next to them because you want to look brighter. It's called self-obsession, it's called being a selfish fucking bitch."

"I-"

"I was so done with you. How the fuck did you end up in my bed?"

"I-"

"For fuck sake Emersyn I didn't want to touch you. How disgusting."

My fucking soul.

At this point, at this point I know I am expected to get angry, or sad, or-

But I am just shocked.

Like he is nasty. So just blatantly nasty right now.

I feel numb.

"August stop. It's okay. You don't mean this."

"No what I didn't mean is anything fucking nice I said to you."

"August please-"

"You think I cared about you don't you?" He chuckles. "They always think I fucking care. I don't. I don't give a shit."

The actual physical pain.

"You don't mean that."

"I do."

He stands and pushes past me and I watch him in pure confusion as he climbs on his bed and starts to shut the window, locking it.

"August?"

"You need to go." He says.

"No." I couldn't leave him like this. Whatever the fuck this was.

I wanted to run.

"You know, I slept with Nia and that this week. Nia, Iris, Dena."

I swallow.

"Pardon?"

"Mhm, every night before I met you. I'd go to theirs, shag them and then come and see you."

I feel sick.

"Fucking enjoyed it as well."

What was he doing?

"I asked you not to hurt me." I whispered. "You said-"

"I said that I couldn't promise that." He chuckles. "Get the fuck away from me Emersyn. Shit. You really think you're something special huh?"

Is he actually targeting all my insecurities?

"You aren't. You never were. My brother knows it, all of our friends know it, you're just some priss who is well." He smirks. "No longer a priss. Boring now."

I stared at him.

He doesn't stop.

He targets everything. My relationship with my mum, the way I am spoilt, my attitude, bratty-ness, how much of a purely bad person I am.

And then he moves onto my body and he tears me apart. He says things to me that I can't even...

And I just...I want to take it all back. I wanted to take everything back from him. My touches. My kisses. My body. My love. My emotions. My time. My patience. My energy. My conversations. My compromises. My efforts. My vulnerability. I wanted to take it all back.

Because the great irony of this was that all summer, I wanted August to care enough to know me. I wanted us to know each other. And as he ripped apart my self-esteem, targeting things he knew I couldn't handle him insulting me about, I realise he knew me. He knew me so well.

He was doing this all on purpose.

And maybe it was to push me away, maybe that is why my heart was tearing apart, because August was pushing me away and he chose this way to do it.

But.

My God.

My fucking God.

I just stared at him.

Broken.

I slowly stand up. I felt so numb. I headed towards the bedroom door and started to unlock it and that's when I realised this was bigger than him just pushing me away. Bigger than his usual outbursts.

"Don't. Fuck." He stresses, slamming his hand to the door from behind me. "What are you trying to do? Kill us?"

"August." I whisper. "Please let me leave."

"You can leave but you're the only thing keeping me safe. So leave. But I will die."

I turn around, looking at him and it's funny how cold I feel. How every part of me just feels scared. Scared and in true utter pain.

"August I need to go."

"Fine." He says. "I can't stop you. But when I die- then well at least we will all know I was right."

"You aren't making any sense." I whisper.

"That's because you are on their side."

I pause, something in his voice breaks and I turn around, facing him. "Leo." I breathe. "Please let me go get your mum or your dad."

His eyes widen. "They're dead."

I lift my hands to his face and he doesn't flinch back, instead I feel the way he is burning, like a fever. Can fever's make someone this ill? Confused?

"Let me get Ivy and Jackson."

"They'll help them kill me." He whispers.

"No I promise."

"I don't trust you."

"I know you don't. Look who do you trust?"

His eyes search mine.

"What if you kill them?"

What? Oh god.

Tears are raising in my eyes because I don't even have my phone. I shout.

"Jackson!?" I call, I yell. August's eyes widen. "Ivy! Rayne! Please!"

His hand comes to shove over my mouth, and my head slams back against the door, not hard enough to do any damage, but hard enough to make the tears filling in my eyes start to fall as he panicked too.

"You can't do that."

"We need help." I whisper.

"I need you to go get him." He says.

"Who?" I cry, anyone, I will get anyone.

His eyes are hard. Watching me.

"Cole."

I let out a sob and I nod. I just need to open the door and I can get them to come up. Like Jackson and Ivy.

August lets me go and I scramble out, unlocking the door as quickly as possible and he goes and just as I am about to run down the stairs, I watch him go and cower into a corner of his room and I-

I don't know what is-

How the fuck has it gotten this bad?

What is this?

I run downstairs and look around, not shouting out because I don't want him to hear and I can't find them anywhere.

I need to call them.

I go to the house phone and call my house.

Mum picks up.

I am crying.

"M-mum."

"Emersyn." She says. "I need you to come home, everyone's here. I need you to come and we need to talk."

"I -n-ne-e." I cant fucking speak.

Fuck.

I just hang up. She won't listen to me anyway.

I look towards the front door and then I look back up towards the stairs.

I literally can't leave him here alone.

Not with things that can hurt him.

But I have to get my dad.

So I don't know if I am fucking insane but I grab a bag from the floor by the stairs and I head to the kitchen and I chuck in it anything that could be at all harmful to him. I walk around the house doing that. I run up the stairs and into the bathrooms, into all their bathrooms and I take everything away that I can.

And August's head is between his knees as I go into his room.

"August I am going to go get my dad. You need to stay here."

He just looks up and he looks terrified.

Like sheer fucking fear and another tear rolls down my face. I wipe it away.

"What's in the bag?"

I don't reply. Just bring the bag into the bathroom with me and I take away all his razor blades.

"Emersyn what are you doing?"

Do I just- go along? I need him to trust me.

"You're afraid of them hurting you." I whisper. "I can't protect you whilst I am gone so I am taking anything that they could hurt you with, with me."

His eyes bare into mine.

"Take the shower hose."

I just nod. Tears streaming down my fucking face as he follows me around the house and he gives me things that is his way of saying- this is a potential fucking weapon.

We are done and I look at him.

"Go back to your room. It's safe in there. I need you to..."

He turns and walks away from me and I take this opportunity to flee.

I run. Like from his house to mine. I run and as I burst through the front door, dropping my literal fucking bag of weapons on the floor I call out.

"Dad!" I shout. "Dad!"

"Here Em."

I snap around and then my voice dies.

My mum, Dad, Rayne, Ivy and Jackson are all sat in my living room. Luella is sat there too. Biting her finger nails and they take me in, un showered, in the dress from yesterday, crying so utterly uncontrollably, they all take a shocked breath in.

"Mum- no dad- no Jackson. No." I can't fucking breathe.

"I need you to help me." I cry. "I can't- something's wrong and I-"

I was on the verge of hyperventilating and I needed to calm the fuck down before I could get them to understand.

But they needed to go to him. The longer he's on his own the more risk he is of hurting himself.

But I can't breathe and I can't fucking see and I am just working myself up more and more because the urgency is with me but the fact everyone is here and I am such a state and I can't fucking breath.

And I think my heart is broken and like-

He said I was one of the ugliest people he had ever seen. Inside and out. He said I was awful.

"I-"

"Sweetheart sit down." Ivy's face was in front of mine and she lowered me to the ground with her, sitting down in front of me and she gets me to breath.

I just breath with her so I can fucking talk and get him some help.

But my parents talk before I can.

"Emersyn we don't think you going on this trip is a very good idea."

My eyes, still full of tears look towards Luella and Luella is just looking at me with bright big concerned eyes and I look back towards my mum.

"Baby just listen for a second."

I look at her.

"To be diagnosed with Bipolar Em-"

I press my hands to my face in frustration.

She just fucking carries on. "To be diagnosed baby you need to be manic. And to be diagnosed with mania you need three of the following symptoms. Just three. You fit them all."

My dad tells me them. "Feeling jumpy, feeling euphoric, Increased Energy, Racing thoughts, Being more talkative, easily irritated, less sleep more risky behaviour, recklessness."

"Guys." I say. "No I-"

"At first baby your intrusive thoughts get louder and impulsive words spill out from between your lips. Actions that you usually would be able to withhold get harder to ignore. For me Emersyn early signs when I was young included blurting out whatever I was thinking. It included doing things that I knew I wasn't supposed to be doing, things that I had been fighting but doing them anyway. Emersyn think back over these months, I am sure you can pull out situations like that."

Rayne sits up. "For example-" He starts to speak but instead of listening I do think back.

I think back to August's birthday.

Impulsive thoughts spilling, doing things you usually wouldn't. I thought he was just high.

"This dress is interesting." He whispers and I take in a small breath, utterly fucking nervous. "Interesting?" I say and he nods. "Yes very interesting." His hand slides closer to the edge of my thigh, still gripping the kitchen counter but my breath hitches when he hooks a thumb under the material which was tight against my thigh and slowly almost absentmindedly, his thumb starts to rub the area he was touching.

Was that the first time he touched me? He-

"You are so fucking responsive." I let out a breath, letting him hear my stressed out breathing and he cocks his head. "I am just being affectionate."

"Have you got underwear on tonight Em?"

"You like dominance." He states and I just stare wide eyed because let's be fucking real I don't even really know what that means. "I suggest telling your boyfriend that." "I've noticed you like it when I am mad, when I snap, when I instruct. It's fucking toxic but you like it.""I've noticed the way your skin prickles with proximity. Don't even need to fucking touch and you're blushing and goosebumps are present. It's fucking fascinating." "I've noticed your squirm when my hand grips-"

Trev had pulled him away from me.

Rayne continues. "Emmy you are so easily agitated. We have fought this summer more than we ever have."

My jaw drops.

We have thought because he has been an asshole.

"Easily irritated.." My mum says softly and I just am sat here in the middle of my front room floor, Ivy holding my hand. This is an intervention. I know It is.

But it's not for the right person.

"When you are manic baby sometimes you get these little explosions of rage. Sweetheart I have had to tell you to calm down a few times. To take a deep breath. To calm your anger. You remember, don't you? The anger you felt, surging?" She says.

"You are freaking out August and you could just explain to me why, shit Leo I didn't even initiate what happened." "I am telling you to go away." He says slowly. "Are you that fucking stupid that you don't understand simple instruction?"

August holds my wrists tightly and then he pushes me away from him, making me stumble and look back at him in shock. That wasn't okay. "Get out.""August."His voice was less calm this time. "For fuck sake, get out!" "I said get out of my room Emersyn, do you really think I want you in here?" "No I don't." "Then get the fuck out." "No! August. I get it, you-""Get out." He interrupts. "You are stressing because you said we-" "Get. Out." "Can't do what-""GET OUT."

And then after. He cooled down. He apologised. But he spoke about it.

"I am sorry that I shouted at you, I don't- I hardly ever shout anyway I don't... I have this rage at the moment. It's new. I haven't felt anger like this in years." "Anger?" I whisper. "Yes and I was angry at myself. I shouldn't have touched you when I know I am- like- manipulating you. You know? The power is literally in my hands and so I was angry at myself and it spilled over on you and I am sorry and I have no idea how to control it. I am just...trying."

"Oh god." I mumble.

How have I missed this before?

"It's okay." My dad says. Totally misreading my statement. He nods for my mum to continue.

"Energy levels. Em, this summer has been different. I know you have always been like this but this summer-

This summer August has had so much increased Energy.

My mum moves to sit on the floor with me but I pull my hands out of both of theirs and I hit my forehead in frustration. How did I miss this? She has been hounding it in my head all summer. The symptoms.

She continues. "I would run, I couldn't help it, your father watched me run around the lake we had at home this one time because I just couldn't handle the way my skin crawled with the need to move. I wouldn't be able to sit still, relax, I wouldn't be able to feel anything other than pure energy. You know what that is like don't you?

I do. But not- not like she means.

But I think he might do.

He fidgets a little and I watch him closely. "What's wrong with you?" "Nothing." He mutters. "August?" "Nothing is wrong. I am just- I have a lot of energy, it's the medication. "I nod a little. "Isn't energy good?" "It's making my head overactive."

"I just- I have this energy Em." "Okay. So this energy? What do you mean?" "I just am restless Emersyn, uncomfortable in my skin, I need to get out the house, or do something. I haven't felt this way since..." "Since what?" "Ha since I planted loadsa flowers in a random field."

August shrugs. "We had one of Lottie's soccer balls in the back and when he couldn't really get me to talk, I like needed to let some of this energy out so we kicked the ball about for a few hours."

I look at Jackson.

"Jackson please."

He looks shocked.

"Emmy we are all here to help you."

I cry. "But you need to help him."

My mum continues. "Feeling jumpy, restless. I was constantly feeling jumpy. Sweetheart you jump out of your skin all the time. You can never just chill and if you do- you startle. Do you know what I mean?"

"August?" I blurt his name, I couldn't help it. I really do need to pee. He startled, like he jumped as if he had forgotten I am besides him. His eyes flickered to me and then to his dashboard. "You lasted an hour and a half." He says quietly. "Well done."

Then when I was sick and he just couldn't relax.

Like he was so restless it made me feel even more sick, his fidgeting made the bed move every time he did so my mood moved between hating on him and then when he would see my annoyed face he'd pull me to him and then I'd be aweing for him again.

"No wait. Emersyn?" Jackson was looking directly at me and thanked the lord for it. "You mean August?"

"I need you to go home. He's not okay."