I decided today that I don't regret what happened. I decided today to let go of the uncomfortable feeling in my chest whenever Luella brings him up. To forgive myself, my family, his. Him. It wasn't my fault and I can't let it change me for the worst. I have always been the person that cares. That makes effort, the person who loves without hesitation. And I like that part of me. I am not going to try and get rid of it.

I will always be the person who believes in the softness of the world, in the goodness of other people, in the beauty of being open and untethered and trusting. I just understand now that just because I can focus on the light, it doesn't mean I should totally ignore the darkness. Choose to see it all, choose to fight ignorance, choose to understand people. Because otherwise...

Otherwise you lose things whilst only seeing the sunlight. There's a whole world out there after the sun goes down.