A/N: First, I would like to say I'm sorry that took so long. I had to rewrite this one about 4 times because the first 3 endings were moving the plot in a bad direction. So I had to fix it. And speaking of the ending, be cautious. For some reason, it got to me... so I'm putting a warning just to be safe.

"Happy birthday to you," we sing fading out. Hayley blows out the candles and the candles go out. Her parents turn the lights back on. Hayley starts waving the traces of smoke around and takes off all 17 candles from the cake.

"What'd you wish for?" her dad asks.

Hayley looks at him. "I can't tell you otherwise it won't come true."

"Who even made that rule up?" Brendon asks. "What happens when we tell others? What makes it no longer come true."

"It's jinxed," Lynn says. Hayley's dad cuts the cake and passes out slices to us. "This is really good."

"I love marble cake," Gerard says, sitting cross-legged in the chair. "Too bad Cody, Jenna, and Patrick aren't here."

"We can save them some for New Year's," Hayley says. "Unless we eat it all."

"Cody got a puppy for Christmas," Amelia says. "He got a chorkie and named him Mateo." She shows us a picture of the two of them and Cody has a little brown puppy in his lap.

"I love him," I say with a smile. "Where are they?"

"Patrick is at his grandma's house and the others are at some resort they're at with their cousins. I think one was just born."

"Oh, I know them," I say, "they're really cool."

"Jenna said she was in Colorado," Lynn says, "They'll be back in two days."

"Say Colorado...I'm a giraffe!" Gerard mutters.

Brendon and Lynn start giggling but Hayley rolls her eyes. "Stop with the vines!" she groans. "I can't believe you always make those stupid references."

Brendon, Lynn, and Gerard lock eyes on each other and start screaming. "I can't believe you've done this!" They all have a British accent, well, Lynn and Gerard had a British accent, Brendon had a different one.

Lynn looks at him. "Why did you sound Indian?" she asks him while giggling.

"I don't know," he mutters. His phone starts ringing and he takes it out. It's been going off with text notifications but he's been ignoring it. Hesitantly, he stands up and walks out o the room answering it.

It falls quiet between the lot of us. "I think that was Audrey," Lynn says slowly.

"You think?" Amelia asks, looking at her.

"Well, I mean, I saw her contact so strong guess."

"She's been texting him and he hasn't really been answering them, he's ignoring her I think," I say.

"Good." I look at Gerard. "He deserves better."

"Audrey is his girlfriend?" Sarah asks. Gerard makes air quotes with his hands and she looks at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"They're technically still together but," Gerard starts shaking his head, "it's not looking good."

"Oh, is Brendon upset?" she asks.

"I don't think so," I say. Sarah glances at me. "Brendon wants to break up with her." Lynn nudges my foot and I look at her. A second later, I see Brendon walking back.

"So what are we doing now, birthday girl?" he asks, sitting back down with us.

"I don't know, whatever, I guess," Hayley says awkwardly. "I literally feel the same. I'm only 17."

She said the trigger words. Now Lynn, Brendon, and Gerard burst out into song. "You are the dancing queen! Young and sweet only 17!" The three of them hold out the last note in harmony with each other.

"No! Shhh!" Hayley giggles, reaching across the table and covering their mouths with their hands. "You guys always sing that whenever one of us has a birthday."

"Why is it always you three who make a reference in unison?" Amelia asks. "You guys are like a trinity."

"An emo trinity," Hayley mutters.

"Well, anyways," Lynn giggles, "what do you want to do?"

Hayley sits back in her chair thinking for a moment. "I kinda want to watch The Perks of Being a Wallflower," she says.

The group of us lounge down in her basement, the flat screen TV on the wall. Brendon takes claim in one of the spinning bowl chairs and Sarah calls dibs in the other one. Amelia, Gerard, and Lynn sit on the long couch and I sit with Hayley on the smaller one. "Who hasn't seen this movie before?" Hayley asks, searching through Netflix.

"I haven't," Sarah says. Brendon looks at her in shame.

"Nor have I," Amelia says.

Gerard exaggeratedly gasps out next to her. "How dare you?" He looks at me. "You've seen this, right?"

"Hell yeah. It's got Percy Jackson and Hermione Granger in it."

He chuckles lightly, looking back at her. "How have has this happened?" he asks to the sky as if God will answer him.

"Dishonor on you!" Lynn screams. "Dishonor on your cow! Dishonor on your whole family!"

"Alright! We're changing that though! It's like Lynn never seeing The Lion King."

I lean forward, staring at Lynn as she shrinks down. "Dude," I mutter.

"One thing at a time," she sighs. Brendon is about to lose his mind on her when the movie starts playing.

Halfway through, Lynn and Hayley scamper off and I hear Brendon roll his eyes, mutters something about lesbians. A moment later, the two of them come trotting back in swaddled in blankets. Lynn chucks a pillow at Gerard's face and she shares the blanket with Amelia. Hayley brings two for Brendon and Sarah and then an extra one for me.

It's been a few years since watching this movie but I don't think I was old enough to appreciate it. I don't remember feeling the need to cry.

"I know these will all be stories someday. And our pictures will become old photographs. And we'll all become somebody's mom or dad. But right now, these moments are not stories. This is happening. I am here. And I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you're not a sad story. You are alive. And as you stand up and see the lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you are listening to that song on that drive with the people you love most in this world. And in this moment, I swear, we are infinite."

I look over, Hayley's eyes fixated on the screen with the glare reflecting off her watering eyes. She catches me looking at her and blinks. "You shouldn't be crying on your birthday," I whisper.

Smiling, she pauses. Before she can say anything, Sarah cries out. "Nobody said this would be a sad movie!"

"What did you expect?" Brendon asks her.

"Not that!" She leans back and lets out a frustrated groan. "But that was good!"

Hayley sits up, reaching for the remote. "So what do you guys want to do now?" she asks while switching off the TV. The lot of us look around the room, unsure of what to suggest. Our usual go-to of Cards Against Humanity isn't an option with Jenna and Cody gone. The only thing coming to mind is playing assassins again but we did that last time we were here. "Whoa, guys. Not all at once," she says.

I crack a smile as do the others. "I'm not really sure," Sarah says.

"Yeah," Gerard points out.

It falls quite again. "Spin the bottle?" Hayley says sarcastically.

"We're missing like 3 people," Amelia says.

"Wait, you guys actually play?" Sarah asks shocked.

"Yeah," Brendon says casually. She looks at him giddy but also concerned. "We only play it when we're all here though, it gets weird the smaller amount of people there are."

"There are only two guys here," I say. The others look around then look at me. "Since the others are gone."

"Yeah?" Gerard asks smugly. "Which guys?"

I stare at him confused. "You and Brendon," I say.

"Frank, my dude," he says, "or are you a dudette?"

"Wait!" I cry out. "Wait, I forgot me!" The others start laughing and Gerard just looks at me with a smile.

"How did you forget yourself?" Amelia asks. I just give her a defeated shrug. "So what should we do then? Spin the bottle?"

"I don't think Sarah or Frank has kissed any of us," Brendon says teasingly. I look at him and see Gerard glance in my direction. None of them know. I look in Gerard's direction but he averts his eye contact from me. Of course, nobody would know. Besides Jenna, who isn't even here right now, they don't know about Gerard and I. Like there's actually a Gerard-and-I thing going on. There's definitely something happening though. Am I crazy? I want something to happen and things have been happening but nothing real. Everything has been a dare or a set up by a green leaf, bless those green leaves. Even with other innocent interactions, everything's been either platonic or disguised as platonic. Nothing real. The only real thing I've gotten out of Gerard was his distaste on the idea of dating. How he's not into it, how he doesn't like it, even when I'm present, he always says it. He wouldn't if he didn't mean it. And if he didn't mean it, maybe something would be done about it already.

"So is that what we're doing?" Gerard asks narrowing his eyes. "I'm just wondering."

Sarah looks around nervously. "It seems weird."

"We don't have to," Amelia says. "If you don't want to, don't worry about it. It's supposed to be fun, not make you uncomfortable."

Sarah sits, pondering for a bit. "What about you, Frank?" she asks.

"I don't know," I say awkwardly.

"Hey, guys? What time is it?" Gerard asks. He starts pawing for his phone, realizing it's not in his pocket.

Lynn checks her watch. "9:32," she says.

Gerard and I make eye contact as terror spreads on his face. "Shit," he mutters, jumping off the couch. "Where is my phone?"

"Wait, didn't you two have to leave at 9?" Hayley asks, standing up. Amelia and Lynn get off the couch as Gerard throws the blankets up in the air.

"Uh, I mean, he does, but he's also my ride," I say.

"Someone call me," Gerard says, dropping the blankets. He runs his hands through his hair. "Well, fuck."

Lynn takes out her phone, going to her contacts. "You're okay," she says reassuringly. Gerard doesn't move, still holding his face. "It's ringing."

Everyone falls quiet, listening. There's a faint buzzing and we all look around. Amelia kneels down and reaches her hand into the back of the couch. "Got it."

"Thank you, Melia," he says. "Ha, 4 missed calls from mom..." he mutters. "I need to go, I'm sorry."

"Are you able to drive me?" I ask. "It's fine if-"

He stares at me confused. "What? Of course, you live on my street." He picks the blankets back up and places them on the couch, walking over to Hayley. "Happy birthday, Hayley."

Hayley throws her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Thanks, I'll see you for New Year's Eve if your parents don't kill you," she says lightheartedly.

"Yeah, let's hope." I hug Hayley afterward and say goodbye to the others.

The two of us walk out, heading to his car parked on the street. It's quiet outside, minus some ambulance sirens echoing in the distant. It's too far away to notice any lights though. "You okay?" I ask Gerard.

He's scrolling through his phone. "Uh, I don't know, let's hope." The wind starts blowing, numbing my leg. At least there's no snow. "They called me literally 10 minutes ago. But now they're not answering their phone."

"You tried calling them?" I ask as he unlocks the door.

We get in and he sets his phone on the center console. "Yeah, but neither of them picked up. Whatever." He starts the engine and I buckle up. "Sorry that was abrupt," he says.

"It's okay. You told me earlier we had to leave around 9. We stayed a bit later."

"Yeah, I didn't realize the movie was going to be that long." He waits for a car to pass before pulling into the street, driving down the road.

"It's all good. We'll just have to wait to play spin the bottle," I tease. I see the corner of his mouth turn into a smirk but he doesn't say anything. Granted, he's driving and checking for cars before turning. "What?"

"Nothing, just you," he says.

"Awe, you not disappointed?"

"No." My face drops. That didn't go the way I expected. "I've already kissed you. Twice now."

If it wasn't dark out, Gerard would have noticed the heat rising to my face. Granted, his intuition must know because he's snickering to himself. "Yeah, and nobody knows about it since you didn't tell them," I say.

"Uh huh, and you didn't either so what's your point?" That's a good question. What is my point? I need to think about a direction in this conversation. What are my chances of making this turn into something? "You want to kiss me?" he asks jokingly.

"No," I answer flatly. Looks like this is going nowhere then. "It's only jokes between us. It's nothing real, I don't know why I pointed it out."

"Yeah, I don't either," he says, dismissive and curt. That hurt more than it should have. Gerard catches a glance at me but I look away. His face is soft, worried, I don't want that. I stare out the window and fidget with my nails. There's a silence between us and I don't know what to say. He turns down our street and there are red and white lights flashing in one of the driveways. There's a firetruck and an ambulance outside a house. "Shit," he breathes out, starting to decelerate.

"Oh, that's not good," I mutter. It looks like one of Gerard's neighbors or someone around there. I glance at him but he's frozen, looks panicked. "You okay?" He doesn't say anything, not moving. "Gee?"

"Huh?" he looks at me confused then starting ahead. "Uh, I-shit." As we start getting closer, I realize the emergency vehicles are outside Gerard's house. The bright lights blare down the street. Nearing his house, I notice nobody is outside but his front door is open.

"Do you want to drop me off or do you want to go in real quick beforehand?" I ask softly.

"I need to-" his voice cuts off. He looks at his house, biting his lip. "Can you wait a moment?"

"Of course, go," I say. Quickly, he pulls over to the side of the road and puts the gearshift in park. He opens the door of the car, getting caught on the seat belt. Suddenly, I see a car driving by but Gerard doesn't realize. He jumps out, running in front of the car. "Gerard! Stop!" I scream, reaching for him. My heart drops as the door slams shut.

He runs into the middle of the street, the car screeching on the breaks, the headlights blindingly bright. It dawns on him when the driver lays on the horn, causing him to scampers backward while holding his hands out to brace himself. Losing his balance, he falters back as the car stops two feet in front of him. "I'm sorry!" he screams, holding his arms in front of him "Holy shit." He backs up, stumbling onto his driveway then sprinting across his lawn.

"Oh my god," I whisper, covering my mouth. I exhale, shaking with relief seeing him dash into the house. The driver of the car slowly continues down the road. They don't look angry, more like concerned. With the ambulance outside the house, I think they understand why he ran out into the street. But that's another thing. Why is there an ambulance? If a person needs medical treatment, the firetruck goes to provide their paramedics since the ambulance won't get there faster. What's going on? Are his parents okay? What happened?

5 minutes pass and no one comes in or out. The bright lights are becoming more painful to look at. What's going on? After 10 minutes, I shut off the engine, taking the keys out of the ignition, and I get out of the car. Should I go inside? He didn't say not to but he asked for a moment.

I walk across the street, checking for cars. Stepping onto the edge of his driveway, his front door opens. Gerard steps out with a blank expression. "Gerard?"

He looks up at me. "I can drop you off now," he says, his voice dry. The closer he gets to me, the more I see how much he's forcing himself to remain calm but I can tell he's on a trigger hair right now.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"I'm okay," he says, forcing his voice to remain calm

He passes me but I catch his arm by his wrist. He turns at looks at me with shaking eyes. "No, you're not," I say gently. "What's going on?"

He opens his mouth, taking a breath. "I don't know where to start," he whispers. "I try to hide these things, thinking if I hide them, it'll be easier. And sometimes it works but life knows how to screw you over." He tries pulling away but I hold him still. "I need to drop you off," he says. I don't let go of him nor do I move, which pisses him off. "What do you want, Frank?" he asks irritated.

"Let it out," I say.

"I don't want to talk about!" he shouts, taking a deep breath. His eyes are dangerously close to watering.

"You don't have to," I say, "but you also shouldn't have to suppress everything. You're always smiling, you're always calm, but I can tell that's not how you feel. Just let it out."

"What do you want me to do, huh?" He tries yanking his arm back but I grip him tighter. I've never seen him like this, at his breaking point. It terrifies me. His breaking point isn't his tolerance breaking but himself being the one to break."Let me go!" he screams. His voice hoarse and threatening to fade out. "You don't know anything about me or what I should do!"

"Because you don't let anyone know. I'm not asking you to explain, just stop suppressing everything and convincing yourself you're okay." I hold onto his wrist with both hands, pleading with him. He needs to calm down. He needs to take a breath.

"What do you want me to do?" he screams. "You want me to start shrieking ceaselessly? You want to thrash around and have a tantrum? Tell me!" I don't say anything. He starts whipping himself side to side, trying to get away from me. I jolt around from his movement but I don't let him go. I only hold onto him tighter. He's going to hurt himself and I don't think he cares. "Let me go!" Tears well up in my eyes. What do I do? I don't know what he's going to do if I let him go. I don't know what's going on inside but it's breaking him. I don't know what to do. He almost got struck by a car. He's breaking down. I don't know what to do. "Say something, dammit!"

"I need you to calm down, Gee," I say gently. "I need you to talk to me."