《Give Me All Your Hopeless Hearts // Frerard》February 3rd
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A/N: Officially done with high school! I graduate in 2 weeks. Very excited. Celebrating with an update.
Sitting with the others in art, I try focusing on doing my English packet but the others keep distracting me. "Anything today, Frank?" Jenna asks giggling.
"Do you think it was just a joke or did they actually mean it?" Cody asks.
"I mean, if it would be a 'joke' wouldn't they have done it on the 14th or something?" Lynn asks.
"Wait, but isn't the 14th a Saturday this year?" Jenna asks.
"Guys, I literally have no idea," I say. I've said it twice already but they're still bubbling over it. Well, the three of them are. Gerard is just working on his project quietly. He was quiet yesterday when this whole thing started.
Yesterday, at the end of the day, I found a note in my backpack. It was this red construction paper folded and sealed with a small, pink, heart sticker. Written inside was Very cheesy and cliche. The handwriting was in a black inking pen and it was a very beautiful script. Flourished letters that connected to each other like calligraphy. It was the weirdest thing and I had no idea where it came from. I found it while walking out of math class with Amelia and I opened it and showed her. She was all curious but I had no idea who it was from. At first, I was thinking...correction, I was hoping it was Gerard. But when we got downstairs, I didn't even need to tell the others. Amelia burst out with giddy excitement. Jenna and Patrick were looking over the note and Cody kept asking questions. I couldn't answer any of them. I don't recall anyone giving me the note or know where it would have come from. I looked at Gerard and he was standing there quiet. He didn't say anything about it. When we were texting last night, he changed the conversation. And now that the others are talking about it again, he's quiet. It's not like a guilty quiet either. I thought maybe he isn't saying anything because he did it. But that would be way too obvious and not like him at all. He doesn't seem mad either, at least, I hope he's not. He can't be mad at me. I didn't ask for it.
"Who do you think it is?" Lynn asks me.
I look up at her and laugh. "I literally don't know," I tell her. "I don't know who put it in my bag or when. I just noticed it when we were packing up in math.
"Maybe it was someone in your math class," Jenna says. "You and Amelia could try figuring it out."
"Or maybe they put it in earlier and he didn't realize until math," Cody says.
"That is true, we need to explore all options," Jenna says. Gerard gets up and walks away. I look at him. He heads over to the cabinets and squats down, rummaging for more material. They're doing this collage project so they've been roaming around the room but Gerard's...I know something's off.
"Wait, would you even know this person?" Cody asks. "Because if you do, then you have better odds than going off of a complete stranger."
"Again, how would I know?" I say. "I think you guys are reading into this a little too much." Gerard sits back down with more paper. I look at him in the corner of my eye but he doesn't glance up.
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"I think he would have to know the person," Jenna says. "Because like the note said you're the sweetest person I've met. That means they have to have met each other prior."
"Alright, let's divide and conquer this!" Cody says.
Lynn glances at him with a deadpan face. "What?"
Cody looks at me with a small grin. "Is it a guy or a girl?" The others look at me too, as if I'll have an answer.
"So...if I have no idea who this person is, whether it's even a joke or not, or when they put it in my bag, how do you expect me to know the gender of a person?"
"Yeah, but what does your gut say?" Jenna asks
I sigh. "Well, like, at first I assumed it was a guy since it's a guy I have a crush on and all-"
"You have a crush on someone?" Lynn asks with a smirk. Gerard falters, glancing his eyes up at her through his bangs for half a second but then he looks back down at his project.
My face gets hot. Way to go, Frank. I look at her, trying to make the words go. "I...didn't say I did. Just that-just that if I were to have a crush, it would be a guy...since I'm...like gay and all." Cody starts chuckling at my comment.
"Okay, so you think it's a guy?" Jenna asks. "Can I see the note again? Maybe we can tell by the handwriting."
"You looked at it yesterday," Lynn points out.
"Yeah, but we just read it, we didn't analyze it."
"I don't have it."
The three of them snap their heads in my direction. "What'd you do with it?" Cody asks.
"I left it at home, probably somewhere on my desk."
"Why would you do this?" Jenna cries out.
I put my hands up defensively. "Jeez, you guys seem to care about this a lot more than I do," I say.
"What? Do you not care that someone has a crush on you?" Lynn asks.
I pause, chewing on my cheek. "It's...not that. Just I don't know who this person is or anything and...I just don't want to get ahead of myself."
In guitar, the others still continue to talk about it. Hayley and Brendon apparently made a list of possible people who it would be. Well, not an actual list but they mentioned basically anyone I have class with or saw throughout the day or just knew in general. Amelia and Patrick were bubbling over this and Lynn kept asking me if I knew anyone or had someone in mind.
"Are you sure, Frank? Like if you had to guess, who would it be?" Lynn asked.
"I don't know."
"Oh, come on. When you first saw it, you didn't think of anyone in particular at first?"
I mean, I thought of Gerard but there's no way in hell I'm just going come out and say I have a crush on him. The fact that I'm in love with him and I was hoping to god this was him it if anyone were to find out but by the way he's acting, I'm sensing it's not him. If it was, he wouldn't seem so goddamn melancholy about it. "I have no idea."
"Really? You can't think of anyone now?"
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"Who do you want me to say?" I ask. "It seems like you're waiting for me to say a certain person. Who do you think was?" I ask her.
Lynn just smiles to herself. "Oh, please. Like I have any idea who you think who has a crush on you."
I glance at her. "You're being weird." She laughs at me, rolling her eyes.
"Oh, please. I'm always weird. Tell me something I don't know. Like who you think it is." And we're back to this. I swear, whoever did send me this is going to be the death of me because of my friends' curiosity."
I'm almost glad Gerard's rather indifferent about the whole note thing because when we get to history, I'm relieved to not be with people pestering me about something that's probably just an escapade. "Hey," I say, sitting down next to him.
He looks up at me from his sketchbook. "Hey, you," he says with a hesitant smile. He sits back, shifting in his seat as he drops his sketchbook under his chair. His eyes keep darting up at me.
"You good?" I ask.
"Um, yeah," he says. "Sorry, just lost in thought."
"What are you thinking about?" I ask him. He gives a shrug. "That lost, huh?"
He cracks a grin. "Yeah, right."
The teacher walks into the room and we get started on chapter notes. It's busy work, just going through the book and copying the vocab and writing down the bulletins listed in the timeline section. Gerard and I talk while working on it, laughing around. He's back to his normal self, light-hearted and joking.
With 2 minutes of class left, we start packing up. I pick up my history book in my back when something catches my eye. On the side of the bag in the water bottle pouch, there's a pink thing inside. I take it out. It's a piece of paper with another one of the heart stickers.
Gerard glances at me and I see him tense up. He doesn't ask me anything as I unfold it. It's the same flourished handwriting in black, inking pen. I look up at Gerard and he's sitting frozen.
"This you?" I ask, somewhat jokingly. I know this was not here in art so it just got here.
"What?"
"Did you do this?" I ask. I hand him the note and he reads it. His eyes narrow and he glances up at me confused. "That yours?"
"No..." he trails off. He rereads it, looking very conflicted. I can't tell if he looks nervous or guilty. He hands it back to me. "Where did...you get that from?" he asks, his voice trailing off at the end.
"My bag, it was right in here," I say, kicking the part where I found it. "It's the same kind from yesterday." He looks really confused, still staring at the pink piece of paper in my hand. "What?"
"What do you mean what?" he asks.
"Why do you guilty?"
"I-I don't," he sighs. "If you're wondering where it's from...I don't know, that's just...it's weird."
The bell rings and everyone gets up. Gerard grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder. I stand up with the note still in my hand. "What's so weird about it?" He doesn't say anything. We just walk out of the room and head out. "What, do you know who's doing this?"
"No, it's just..."
"Can you finish your sentences?" I ask.
"I don't know what to think, alright?" he says. "I don't know what to tell you. Do you like the fact that some person likes you?"
"I don't know who it is so I wouldn't know."
"Yeah, but say you found out. Would you date them?"
I sigh at him. "Again, I don't know. I don't know who it is or whatever so I don't know if I'd want to date them."
He adjusts his bag on his shoulder as we step out of the hall and start walking toward the cafeteria. "Well, what if it was some hot guy with everything in common with you and really sweet and funny and just perfect? Say it's some dream guy of yours, would you date them?"
I glare at him. "What do you want me to say?" I ask. "Because you're being oddly specific right now."
"Nothing, just...wondering. Hypothetically, if this is your perfect guys, would you date him?"
"Well, there's no such thing as perfect and I don't really thi-"
"What if? What if it was your dream guy?"
If it was my dream guy, Gerard would be giving these notes to me. And I would be overjoyed to date, Gerard. "Sure. Why not?" I finally say. He nods along. "That the answer you were looking for?"
"I wasn't looking for an answer. I was just asking."
We get to lunch and the others start telling me about their project in their vocals class. They get to make a love song of their own choice and they'll perform it the Friday before Valentine's day. It has to tell some sort of story, but it doesn't have to be real. Jenna is really excited about hers and has ideas for chords already.
We're almost done with the period before Amelia jokingly brings up the note thing again. Gerard glances at me in the corner of his eyes and I falls silent.
"Wait, what's going on?" she asks.
"What, did you get another one?" Jenna asks, finishing off her yogurt. I don't say anything, looking up at her. "Oh my god, what is it?"
"Dude, why you holding out on us?" Amelia asks.
"It's not im-"
"Yeah, it is," Cody says. "This is exciting."
Amelia holds out her hand and I sigh, going in my bag and handing it to her. She and Jenna scoot close to look at it and Cody gets up to read it behind them. Gerard sits quietly, fixating on his water bottle which is half empty. I playfully tap his foot with mine under the table but he doesn't react. Why is he like this?
"Dude, this has got to be a girl. Like, the handwriting looks so flourished and bubbly," Jenna says.
"Really?" Amelia says, glancing at her. "I thought it was a guy because without the flourishes on the letters that have those little tails, it's really small and slanted, kind of like a guy's handwriting all scrawly and neat."
"Well, like I said earlier. You know as much as I do," I say.
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