"Are you sure you're okay, Frankie?" Gerard asks me.

"Yeah, like I said, I'm just tired," I reply. Gerard stares at me with puppy eyes, rolling back to his computer in his wheely chair. I know I shouldn't act this way toward him but I don't know what to do.

I haven't talked to Amelia since my fiasco in math on Friday. And we didn't really get a chance to talk about it more. As soon as the bell rings, we started walking out. She started asking me questions and I didn't want to answer them, especially in the hallway where anyone could hear us. That's when I saw Jenna and nudged Amelia to stop talking. They went with me to my locker when I put my textbooks away and grabbed the rose still in adequate condition. I kept glances at Amelia and she was just contently smiling at me.

I was going to text her after school but I didn't want there to be actual evidence in hopes I could still deny the whole thing true. Now I really regret not texting her because she's still away skiing with her family and coming back later today. Even though I am pretty sure she wouldn't go around telling anyone, it's still eating me up. If anyone was going to find out first, it would've been Gerard. Too late for that.

Gerard taps my foot playfully and I smile at him, resting on my hands and leaning on the desktop. He sighs at me. "Please, come on. Tell me what's really wrong," he says.

"Noth-"

"Don't give me that," he says. "I know when you're tired. You don't act this when you're tired. What's going on? Please, I want to help."

Mmm, the only way you can help is by actually staying out of this. "Just stressed," I say.

"About what?" he asks.

"With like school."

He shifts back in his chair. "Frankie, you have straight As. Either you're overworking yourself, which isn't like you. Or you're lying again."

I smile at him, trying to get him to leave it alone. "Look, it's nothing that should concern you. I appreciate you worrying but it's okay."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't really talk to us yesterday. Hell, Jenna was pulling teeth with you at lunch to ask if you had one of those notes again. Usually, you don't mind her seeing them but you just shrugged. Today, you didn't even come down to art." My cheeks flare up. I don't want to tell him. I can't imagine telling him how I feel. I want to say he would feel the same way. I want to say he likes me. But I can't be sure because I can't afford to lose him. If I'm wrong, what would happen between us? I don't want to lose anything I have with him because aside from all this feelings nonsense, he's still one of my best friends and I can't lose him. The risk of the hypothetical gain is not worth the risk of the potential loss.

He places his hand on my shoulder and I flinch. He takes his hand back, looking concerned at me. "I'm sorry," I mutter.

"For what?" he asks.

"I don't know."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he says. He spins my chair around so I face him. "Come on, you can tell me anything, right?" I sigh, glancing away. He ponders for a second. "Is it the notes?" he asks.

"No, it's not. Just do your work, Gee, okay?" I say. He shifts his jaw to the side, still looking at me softly before he goes back to his computer.

If those notes weren't happening, I might not be in this mess. Because then Amelia wouldn't have brought up Gerard and she never would've figured this out. Granted, I do like the notes and I like finding them.

Yesterday, the construction paper was a baby pink. When I opened it, the note said You are the beat to my heart and the breath to my life. ~Secret Admirer The quote was in the same black ink but it was written inside a color pencil drawing of a heart. Like a human heart. And it was really good. It was shaded red and blue and it was really beautiful. Receiving the note did cheer me up a bit but it didn't solve my problem. When I gave it to the others, they were analyzing it deeper than I thought to. Whoever is doing this is either a really good artist or knows someone who is. Granted, at lunch, Gerard didn't say anything. He was acting weird about it if I recall. Not like guilty though. More like confused. Whatever. Gerard's good at art. But so are like the 50 other kids who take art. And how many others who don't take art but are still good.

The rest of the period goes by silently. We finish typing our essays and when the bell rings, we head out together. "Did you print yours?" Gerard asks.

"No, I just shared it with him," I say.

"Alright, same. I was-"

"Gerard?" The two of us stop and turn around. There's a girl walking over to us who looks very familiar but I don't know why. She's a little taller than me, Asian, wearing a leather jacket with black skinny jeans. Her hair is in a really fancy braid where it goes down the side in a spiral. "Hey, it's so nice to see you again," she says in a British accent. British? Oh my god.

"Moira," Gerard says, a smile spreading on his face. "Yeah, it's been like what? A month?"

She nods along then glances at me. "Hey, Frank, how are you doing?"

I'm slightly out of place for a second. "Um. Yeah, I'm good," I say.

"That's good to hear," she says, before turning back to face Gerard. "I've actually been hoping to run into you again," she says, shifting her stance and gazing up at him. "So I don't want to get ahead of myself but prom is coming up in a couple of months." My face flushes and I awkwardly turn away. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and smiles up at Gerard. "I was wondering if you'd be interested in going."

"Oh, um, I'm actually a junior so I can't," he says with a laugh. Oh, you idiot. That's not what she meant but go off.

Moira chuckles lightly. "Well, I know that, silly. I was asking if you would be interested in going with me."

Gerard squeaks, his eyes widen and he freezes up. I glance up at him and he looks completely stunned. "What?" His voice is soft and about 2 octaves higher than usual. "Wait, like a date?"

Moira giggles to herself. "Yeah, like a date." I glance at her and put on a soft smile before I start walking away from them.

This is not happening right now. Is it? Whatever. It's fine. It's fine. Everything is fine. Just go to gym and act like nothing happen. He's my friend. And I was literally just telling myself earlier that he is my friend before anything else and I should be happy for him.

I start heading down the stairs when it dawns on me what actually just happened. Moira asked Gerard out. Holy fuck. She asked him out. My heart's beating heavier as it slowly sets in. This just happened. Everything is not fine. It's the complete opposite of fine. I hate myself. I hate myself for ever thinking I-

Someone taps my shoulder. "Hey," Gerard says, slightly out of breath while catching up to me.

"Hey," I say uneasily. Had he come a few seconds later, he most definitely would have seen tears forming in my eyes. "What are you doing this way? Your class is on the other-"

"Why'd you leave?" he asks.

We get to the bottom of the stairs and I step off the side with him. "Um, because it didn't really concern me," I say quietly. He caught up to me awfully quickly. Wait, did he even say yes? "So are you going with her?"

"No," he mutters.

"What?" I blurt out as a huge weight lifts off my shoulders. "Why not?" Okay, I have no idea why I asked the second question just now.

Gerard looks at me suspiciously. "Did you want me to?"

"What-no, no. I'm just-I thought you liked her and stuff?" Yeah, good save there, bucko.

He shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs. "Phh, I mean, she's cute and great. She's really nice." He glances down to the side. "But she can do better than me." Do better than him? Like there are even options better than Gerard Way.

"Do you not want to date her then because you think she's better off with someone else or because you don't like her?"

Gerard shifts his stance, staring down at me with narrow eyes. "What kind of question is that? What are you getting at?"

"I'm just wondering. Do you not like her or do you not like dating?" I ask softly.

He stares at me trying to say something but nothing comes out. Warning bell rings. I'm really starting to hate these stupid bells and their untimeliness. "I don't know how to answer you," he finally says, shifting back. "That's not an easy question for me." I look at him softly but I don't say anything else. Maybe what Amelia said was still true. He doesn't like dating. The two of us part ways to go to class. I glance back at him and see Gee jogging back up the stairs and running to his class.

During gym, we have to run the track. Cody and his friends run much faster than Jenna and I care to move so they're ahead of us.

"You good, Frank?" Jenna asks as the two of us are jogging. "You didn't come down to art."

"Um, yeah, I was just with Brendon and Amelia," I say.

Jenna glances at me. "Amelia isn't here today-"

"Oh my god, I meant Hayley. I was with Brendon and Hayley." She laughs it off and I sigh. "So the weirdest thing happened," I say to her. "Keep this between us because it really isn't my thing to be telling you about."

"Okay, what's up?"

"Um, Gerard got asked out."

She snaps her head at me. "What? Wait, are you serious?" I nod my head. "Oh my god, when?"

"Literally like 10 minutes ago during the passing period," I say.

"Holy shit, did he say yes?"

"No, that's the weird thing."

"Oh, okay," she says, sighing. "Actually, no. That's not the weird thing. The weird thing would've been him saying yes."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Wait, who asked him?" she asks.

"On your left!" Cody screams at us. Him, Dan, and Maxx come running past us. Jenna rolls her eyes at him.

"Um, Moira." Jenna shakes her head, not remembering. "She's a senior. That British girl from the ski trip."

"Oh, really? Wow, I kinda see but like...no," she says.

"What do you mean?" I ask again.

She pauses, thinking again. "Gerard is not the type of person to start dating someone, especially someone none of them know."

"So is he only allowed to date people so you guys approve of?" I ask.

"Not like that," she corrects. "From the way he is, we would have to know them because he wouldn't be able to start a relationship without being more than 100% ready for it in his life. And by the time he was sure about it, we all would know them really well. And he only hung out with Moira at the ski trip but that was it. I don't even think they text anymore.

"They texted?"

"Well, for a little bit I know. Kind of like you and Ophelia," she says. "How did she ask him?"

"Um, she asked him to be her date for prom."

"Damn," she replies.

"On your left!" Cody screams again as he approaches us. Jenna sticks her arm out and closes lines him in the face. "What the fuck?" he cries out.

Maxx and Dan pass Cody. "Nice one, Jen!" Maxx cries out as he and Dan leap over Cody.

"Hurry up, dude!" Dan screams tauntingly as they carry on. Cody gets back up sprints to catch them.

"Moron," Jenna groans at her brother.

"So Gerard isn't really willing to take risks in dating?"

"No, it's just not his thing."

I nod along. "Well, how is he ever going to give a person a chance?" I ask. "You're not going to be 100% ready but that shouldn't stop you from trying, right? If relationships were easy, there would be no breakups. He shouldn't be afraid of anything and give things a shot."

Jenna looks at me curiously. "I mean, Moira seems really nice from when we talked but I'm not that adamant about Gerard dating her."

"Wh-no, no, that's not what I mean!" I cry out.

"Okay...What do you mean then because you aren't making sense"

"So Gerard's just not going to ever date? Like that's his thing? He's given up on people?"

She looks at me warily. "I don't know. He's just the kind of guy that won't start something unless he knows he's ready for it. Unless..." she trails off and I look at her intently, "unless he really does love them. But you can ask him yourself at lunch if you're going to obsess over it."

"I'm not obsessed. I'm just...looking out for him." Okay, time to change the subject before I pull a Friday on Jenna and I want to die all over again. "Well, just don't let him know that I told you because I don't want him mad."

"Yeah, I get you. I doubt he could be mad at you though."

The three of us walk out of gym together and head to the cafeteria. "Cody, you are literally the worst," Jenna says at lunch. Cody is red in the face from running. "I swear to god, we are never watching The Winter Soldier again."

He opens his Gatorade while laughing. "Oh, come on, Sam. It's not that bad."

Jenna rolls her eyes. "I am not The Falcon. And you are NOT Captain America," she says.

"I could be if I wanted to," he says.

"First of all, Captain America is hot."

Cody chokes on his drink, sputtering out some while coughing and I start snickering. Gerard takes his seat next to me looking skeptical. "What did I just walk into?" he asks. He looks at me and my smile fades and nervousness creeps back inside my head. I really wish I didn't feel this way. I wish things were easier. Man, I wish a lot of things.

"Gee, you think I could be Captain American?" Cody asks. "Or is he too hot?"

Gerard pauses. "I'm going to refrain from answering that question.," he says.

"Ha!" Jenna says in Cody's face.

Cody glares at her. "Wh-that doesn't prove anything!" Cody looks back at Gerard. "So you think he's hot?" Gerard opens his water bottle and starts drinking for an obnoxiously long time. "Gee?" Gerard holds up a finger and keeps sipping. I at the table as I open up my sandwich. Cody rolls his eyes and sits back. "If Amelia was here, she would side with me."

"Ugh, yeah, she's your girlfriend. Of course, she'll think you're hot." Gerard says when he puts his water bottle down. More than half of the water is already gone.

"Oh, and do you think Chris Evans is hot?" Cody asks.

Gerard shrugs. "He's not bad...but now Sebastian Stan." I can't help but smirk at his comment.

Jenna eyes Gerard with a smirk, nodding her head in approval. "As the only one here who isn't attractive to men in the slightest, I feel out of place."

"Loki," Jenna says.

"Tom Holland's Spiderman," Gerard says.

"I love Tom Holland," Jenna says leaning so far back in her seat she nearly falls back. "Oh my god. I want to be his friend, he's just so cool and precious and just the sweetest."

"Robert Downey Jr," Gerard adds on with a grin.

Cody sighs. "Now you two are just listing the entire Marvel cast-"

"Robert Downey Jr. is my father!" Jenna cries out.

Cody glares at her. "You father is away on a business trip," he mutters.

Jenna rolls her eyes at him. "Uh, yeah. Because when you're a famous actor like him, you're always busy."

Cody stares at her, blinking slowly. "M'kay, can we talk about something else now." Jenna's eyes light up and she's about to say something but Cody cuts her off. "Don't even say Thor!"

She looks at him funny. "Well, you said Thor...and he's not bad but-" Cody smacks her arm. "Ah, hey! What I was going to ask is if Frank had any notes."

Cody and her look at me. I didn't get anything today actually and I hadn't really noticed. The whole Amelia now knows situation has distracted me. "Um, no," I say.

"Wait, did you check your bag and stuff?" Cody asks.

I shrug. "Yeah, it's just nothing," I say. Cody and Jenna frown, looking at me nervously.

"Frankie, can you come with me to fill up my water bottle?" Gerard asks. He swings his legs over the bench and waits for me to answer.

"Now, if you didn't chug it to avoid my question, you wouldn't have to," Cody says.

I glance at Gerard. He looks at me seriously. "Um, sure," I say. The two of us get up from the table and start walking across the cafeteria.

"Are you okay?" he asks, looking at me.

"Please stop asking me that-"

"Well, tell me what's going on," he says. "You're really distant." We get to the water fountains and he starts refilling his bottle. "Did I do something that upset you?"

"What?" I ask. "Oh, oh go, no. You haven't done anything."

He glances down at the water trickling inside his container. "It seems like you don't want to be around me," he says. I chew on the insides of my cheeks. I really hate myself.

"I assure you, I'm not mad at you. You're my b-the, the person I'm closest with. We're good, please, don't worry," I tell him.

He takes his bottle back, screwing on the top. "Then are you sure you're okay?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say. He looks at me, knowing I'm still not giving him the answer he wants. He doesn't ask again. We walk back to the table.

"Okay, Scarlet Witch or Black Widow?" Jenna asks.

Cody sits thinking. "Um...I really like Hela," he says, resting his head in his hands.

"You emo," Gerard sighs, sitting back down with me.

"Well, excuse me, I wonder where I got it from," Cody remarks. Gerard rolls his eyes at him chuckling.

The others and I talk and think of hanging out after school to work on homework together. Math is rather boring without Amelia here. I really need to talk to her as soon as I can. I flip my phone on and see the messages still haven't delivered. Give it an hour or so. I just really need to talk to her. I don't think she would go around telling people but what if she told one person. Like Jenna or Cody. And they tell him. Or it slips out in conversation as a joke. Or she references it and someone else catches on. Would she just straight up tell Gerard? I don't think she would, she's my friend and she wouldn't do that. But she's also Gerard's friend too.

The bell rings. Time to get out of here. As I walk down the hall toward the staircase, I realize I didn't find any notes today... I stop walking for half a second before it registers you can't just stop abruptly in the hallway. A sinking feeling sets inside me. I don't know why I'm honestly upset right now. These were just stupid little notes. But I really liked them. Someone obviously...Wait. Amelia isn't here.