Present

"Do you think everyone remembered to take toll free roads?" Sierra asked from the passenger seat. It was one of the rare times when I was driving her around instead of the usual reversed situation. Albeit it was just so she could have a break from driving and rest.

"You were very explicit on that one request, so I would imagine they did."

"It's just Queen will look for us, for me and-"

"Yes, that is what you told everyone in case you forgot." I cut her off from repeating the powerful point she had already made before everyone left the Austrian warehouse. Our targets were in Sweden and then Germany. We had to do the furthest away first, so that way we would get back to Austria in time for the debrief.

"And do you think we randomised the targets enough? We needed them to be off centre so Queen can't triangulate our base. What if we didn't-"

"Jacques worked it out, there's no way to triangulate it. You got the ones attacking close to randomise their drive. Avoiding toll roads means less chance of cameras and being tracked. But we also have cars that aren't registered to us, but are still registered to someone, so it won't be an issue. All of them are currently registered in different countries too, so there's no commonality between them. The plan is going to work." It was as much to comfort her as it was to comfort myself. We had less than a week until the New Year. If this plan didn't work, we were all fucked.

"And Jacques is deleting our trails as we make them." Sierra added. I nodded.

"Exactly. Queen might be good, but you're better, especially with Jacques..."

"Are you trying to butter me up, Es?" She asked, I saw a smile on her face as I glanced at her before focusing on the road again.

"Maybe."

"What for?"

"I didn't get that accommodation you wanted." She pushed off the passenger seat to sit up far too straight.

"Esmond-"

"A hotel room? No, won't do." I said. She shook her head.

"Esmond, I chose that accommodation because it's common and Queen wouldn't-"

"I got us a house, or a villa is probably closer." I told her.

"Es-"

"No, you'll love it. If we fail, I will regret not taking you to a place that is private, has a magnificent view, a sauna..." I trailed off, risking another look at her. The look on her face, I couldn't describe it.

"I, Esmond..."

"What? Too much?" I asked. She shook her head.

"No, I just... it's hitting me that we could fail. I have so many regrets." She sank back into the passenger seat. "So much I wish I'd done."

"Like what?"

"I don't think we need to start that conversation right now. We should focus on the-"

"Sierra, we are in the afternoon hours of the twenty-seventh of December. We have roughly a hundred and five hours left until midnight on New Year's, at which point, if we fail, will already be too late. We have people in America, Australia, everywhere that are doing the same thing as us, at the exact minute that we will be. Micah's network, they are all doing something about it, it's ridiculous that a circle of criminals has to do this, but that's the corruption of power in government."

"Where are you going with this?" She asked.

"We are focused and, even better, we have a couple hundred people worldwide focused on this. We can afford to have a conversation about us while we are driving to a destination and literally cannot do anything else." I said. She took a deep breath.

"What if I don't want to?"

"I would ask why, but it's because it will make you vulnerable. You still don't completely trust me, which is fair." I said. She was holding her head in her hand, her elbow resting against the door to help her look out the window.

"I hate you, sometimes." She said, and I let her sit in silence for a minute. "You're right. You were right before, a hundred and five hours... it's not much time."

"So, what do you want to say? What would you regret?"

"I would regret not living a life with you. Doing normal people shit, I guess." She said, lifting her head away from her hand to watch me drive. "I regret us not having more time. Not being able to buy a house together, having a future."

"I would regret the same thing, blame myself for it. If I hadn't have gotten scared, we could already Queen sorted. This could all be in the past already." I said, which would always be my biggest regret. I hoped Sierra would try to make me feel better about it, say that it wasn't my fault, but that would be a lie and we both knew it. It's why this plan had to work, because I had to make up for my mistakes and this was the only way I knew how.

"What did you see for us?" She asked, and I took a deep breath. It was probably fair that I spoke first, said my own desires and wishes before she did, since I was the reason we were in this situation. If I had just told her I loved her back then instead of throwing her in prison...

"Um, a house somewhere warm because I know you hate the cold. Somewhere we could both start fresh, with nothing chasing us from our past. No MI6, no Court, just us. New identities probably, just for safety. I wish we could have had a dog, cat, all that shit, I guess. Three kids, at least. Two girls, one boy. All of them would be as strong as you are, as brilliant. I'll even take as stubborn as you because it adds to your strength." Sometimes when I couldn't sleep, it was all I did. Imagine a family with her. The warmth and joy I felt from those fantasies always calmed me down enough to sleep.

I didn't expect to hear anything from her. I assumed the conversation would end there, because I didn't really deserve the confirmation that she thought the same. Or that she thought of a future at all.

"I saw us settle in New Zealand. It's one of the few places I haven't been, but always thought looked beautiful." She said, looking out the window at the surrounding landscape. The mountains in the distance with snowed tips, the grey clouds in the sky that threatened to drop even more snow on us. "Imagined a home, a big yard, not too big though because I hate gardening and landscaping. A dog, cat, all that shit, I guess." She repeated my sentence with a huge smile on her face.

"Kids?" I asked, her smile faltered.

"Yes, but..." Oh. Shit.

"What?"

"The fentanyl, doing it for as long as I did in the quantities I did it... it impaired my ovaries, the production of oestrogen. I would have to undergo hormone replacement therapy, but there's no guarantee that it would work and I could have kids." She rubbed her arm as she spoke. I reached over and took her hand in mine.

"It doesn't change anything, not how I feel about you, not what we can have in the future. Adoption, surrogacy..."

"I guess it only matters if we succeed." She said, lifting my hand to her lips and placing a kiss on my knuckles. Her words hit me hard, striking a pain in my chest. No. We would have that future we both wanted. Now that I know she wants it like I do, I won't stop until we succeed.

"We will."

Her eyes locked on mine, and while they were sad, there was a spark of hope in them, so I repeated my words to make sure they stuck.

"We will."