" What happened" mew asked me and I immediately shook my head

What if he leaves me if I tell him I was a useless brat that believed a woman that didn't even care for him over his father who took care of him and loved him more than he loved himself

Would he think I'm weak for trying to kill myself twice

"Gulf look at me" mew said but I kept my head down I'm afraid if I do look at him I will tell him

"Please" he pleaded and I finally looked up

"What happened" he asked again

"I will tell but.. promise not to leave me" I said holding out my pinky

"I will never leave you" he said connecting his with mine

"Even if I cheat" I asked and he nodded then scrunched up he s face making me laugh

"Ok ok I'll tell" I said and he nodded

"When I was 2 my Mae made me put my hand on the stove because I kept crying and that day my father and her got into a large argument because my father wanted to take me away from her...it was also that day I decided I would save up lots of money so I could buy my own house and go to college so I won't make my parents fight anymore...growing up my Mae was so mean to me because she always said I needed to repay her or I needed to pay up for my sins...when I turned 14 my Mae came to me and told me my father was hitting her of course I was shocked and a part of my didn't believe her but when she cried I felt bad for not believing her so I forced myself to believe her when she told me I needed to give her money I had told her I only had 59 dollar's but she brought up my collage money and cried when I didn't give so I just decided to give her and she told me she would be back...a few minutes later I heard people talking so I put my ear against the door and heard my mother talking to some man then a gun shot making me run out..to see my pa laying on the floor blood leaking from his chest..I ran to him and told my Mae to help but she just told me to die to so the man put the gun to my face and pulled the trigger but my pa got in front of the bullet.....and died some minutes after they left I was about to kill myself when I heard my father's friend San call me...he told me everything about how my mother killed my father's lover and soon to be husband when she found out he was moved on from her and getting together with a man also he wanted a divorce....after that I grabbed a bag and packed some of my things and me and my pa pictures and some money me and him had stashed from Mae...i also met a little boy who was crying on the side of the road one time I helped him to the police where they took him or tried but he didn't let me go so after a few hours they told me to leave and I had to or they would put me I'm foster care...I made some jobs as baby sitters and at coffee places as a cleaner and stayed at hotels until I was 16 I got my own apartment with the lease connected to my teachers name and soon I went to collage...in collage I met a roommate who would bully me because I had nightmares and called for my pa...one day I just couldn't take it and I hung myself but he ended up saving me and taking me to the hospital and I never heard from him again until graduation day.....and lastly I found my way here" I said