Diya (pov)

He doesn't leave my wrist, as he pulls me towards my chambers. On the way, we pass through many faces.. Begum Ma Sa's smiling face, Rukhsaar Begum's scowling face... and a new face, who seems like royalty, so I guess that's Begum-e- sultanate.. she looks taken aback.. what they all must be thinking.. I can only imagine. But Begum Rukhsaar's face brings a small smile to mine. I shouldn't be so mean towards her feelings. But I can't help my heart.. which yearns to be close to Nawaaz ji.. which wants him just to myself. I understand her... but cannot sympathize with her.. I want to, but I can't.

We reach my chambers. "Everyone Get out!" he roars, making everybody scramble out. He leaves my wrist.. and slowly faces me. His face depicts pure rage as he slowly takes his steps towards me. His walk.. his expressions... his body language scares me, making me take my steps back, away from him. I have no more steps to run away, as my body hits the wall. His lips curve into a creepy sneer. I know I should not be scared..not after what happened yesterday.. not after him killing someone for me. But I have never seen him this angry. I mean I have seen him angry but it is never expressed on his face as today. All I am confused about is 'why?' why is he angry? Did anything happen? What could effect him so much?? I have rarely seen any expression on his face other than that smirk or a blank straight face.

He stands in front of me.. his arms cage me as he keeps them on each side, just next to my face. He leans closer... his face just few centimeters away from mine. My body shudders at his closeness... at his dangerously low voice as he speaks "Where were you so lost when I called you?"

What? When he called me? Whe- OH! I didn't answer back to his call, when I was busy in my own thoughts as Shehzaade Naseer was talking to me. Now.. when I look back, He seemed angry from that moment only. How do I tell him I was busy in his thoughts of how he calls me by these cute petnames.

"Diya! Answer me!!" he slams his palm on the wall, just next to my face.. making me flinch in fear. "I—I was listening to Shehzaade Naseer Ji." I try to speak through my fear.. I cannot tell him that I was not attentive to his brother.. and was lost in his thoughts. He grits his teeth and snarls as he hits the wall multiple times. I close my eyes as I feel his pain.. it hurts me as he hit his palm. Why??? What did I do?? Why is he hurting himself and hurting.... me ?

"Please stop... Don't hurt yourself... Please Nawaaz ji" I plead as It pains me to see him this agitated. "How—How dare you ignore me for him? Ha?" he breathes into my ear. "HOW!!" He screams.. making me sob out of fear. "You all are the same! ALL OF YOU!!" he screams into my face. I shut my eyes tight to unsee his wrath.

"I did not ignore you!! I was lost in my thoughts!!" I try to explain.. as I think I finally understand what the actual problem is... He got jealous of his Younger Step brother.. and I guess this is not the first time, he is feeling this... which makes this more sadder.

He scoffs in disbelief. He thinks I am lying. I gulp and take one of his bruised palm.. I caress it softly and place it on my cheeks. I don't know how to make him believe in my words.. But I will try anything. He just stares at me blankly.. I look straight into his blood- red eyes as I nuzzle my face into his palm. "This is the truth.. what I said earlier was the lie. I didn't want to come across as an inattentive person, who daydreams about...." I stop myself from completing my sentence. He moves more closer, if it was possible and gets into my face "About?" he mumbles in a low voice.

I look at his curious child like expression... Is this really the deadly cruel Nawaab I have heard of?? The man whose name has the power to scare away anyone in this sultanate. "About.. my husband." I gulp and look away trying to avoid his intense stare. I feel my cheeks heat up.

"Is that true?" I hear his low voice. I arch my head to look up at him, and I nod. There is no change of expression on his face.. maybe I did a blunder by telling him the truth. I was just going to utter any other excuse, when he cups my cheeks in a tight hold and pulls my face towards him... pressing his lips on mine. I am so stunned.. He inhales deeply, sucking my lower lips into his.. I am too entranced to respond. He backs off a little, and I regret my unresponsiveness, I missed kissing him.. I ruined my first kiss.. our first kiss.

"Little Dove" He breathes in a husky voice, his lips brushing against mine.. that's how close he is. "You are mine.. I saved you. I am your saviour, I am your Husband." He states in a low voice as if he is reminding me. He is not lying though, he is everything that he just stated. He has always been my saviour from the very beginning... I agree that our interactions were not ideal, the situations we met in were not good... our marriage was not a dreamy one.. But, He has always been there.. There for me, when no one else was.. When everyone gave up on me, he was there.

"You are only Mine. My wife. Only Mine. Yes?" he caresses my cheeks gently, as he asks me... that's the thing about him, he gives me a choice, he asked me to confirm a given fact. A fact, that I had believed the day, he saved me in that jungle.. a fact that I accepted when he took me as his wife.

I nod with a small smile. I love hearing him say this.. that I am his. I love when he claims me as only his. "Say it" he rubs his nose on my cheek softly.. I close my eyes. "I am yours, Only yours" I whisper it like a sacred prayer.

We both don't speak anything.. a calm silence surrounds us. After a long minute, he backs away, I look up at him, his face back to being expressionless, but that gives me happiness, his blank face is much better than his furious face. I smile at my own thoughts. "What" he asks as he continues caressing my cheeks. I shake my head, I cannot tell him about my stupid thoughts. "Say it Little Dove" his thumb slightly separate my lips.

How will I speak if he continues to do this.. "Umm.. I was just glad that, I was able to calm your anger." I tell him, to which he smirks. "Next time, Don't hide your true thoughts, Don't lie to me ever. And most importantly, Don't you dare ignore me for anything or anyone" he warns me, the smirk gone from his face. I nod. He stares at my face, a few seconds on my lips.. and then smirks again. He takes his hand off my cheeks "You remember what I told you this morning?" he asks as he runs his fingers through his hair.

"that I should come to your chambers, at night" I repeat his words from this morning. His smirk widens, "Yes, So I am leaving now. I have some state affairs to attend." He informs me his plans and that takes me aback. This feels more domestic.. more like how a husband and wife talk. It gives me immense happiness. I bob my head happily, making him laugh. His throaty laugh is a sound I crave to hear for the rest of my life.

I don't realize when the time passed away.. until a Daasi comes to my room breaking my concentration on my latest interest, 'Embroidery'. She informs me that Rukhsaar Begum has summoned me to her room. That is strange... why is she calling me to her room? most importantly why is she calling me?? When I look at her closely.. she is one of Begum Rukhsaar's Daasi. One who laughed at me on my first day here, when Begum Rukhsaar mocked me. She gives me a weird look.. a look of disrespect. "She asked you to visit her now, so please follow me" she rolls her eyes at me and turns to walk. I agree I am not a royal by blood... but I am Shehzaade Nawaaz ji's wife. I deserve that respect.. I shake my head at her disrespect but follow her nonetheless.

As I enter her chambers, I see her scolding one of her Daasi. I get reminded of her scowling face, when she saw me with Nawaaz ji as he walked holding my wrist. I smile internally.

"You enjoy my misery, Don't you?" she glares at me as others empty the room, leaving me, Begum Rukhsaar, and her Daasi who brought me here, alone in the room. "what?" I don't understand her. How am I causing her any kind of misery? She's the one who insults me with her mere glance. I notice her Dassi closing the doors of the room. Begum Rukhsaar walks towards me and slightly pushes me, making me stumble a bit. What the hell! "How dare you!! How dare you take what's mine!!! What has always been mine!!!" she screams at me.

I try to control my anger.. I cannot lose my temper at her. I convince my heart, that this is just her jealousy acting up. She must have been heartbroken to see her husband with another woman. "You bloody homewrecker!!" she pushes me with more force, making me stumble hard, I barely survive a fall. Just breath through your anger Diya.

"Fatima! Look at this wench, who thinks she can win Shehzaade Nawaaz's heart with her innocent act. What do you say, Shouldn't we wake her from her impossible dream?" she sneers at me, but talks to her Dassi Fatima. She walks past me towards the Daasi I guess. I don't turn around. Her words revolve around my mind.. Win his heart? I have never hoped for that.. never yearned for something so unattainable. I just... wanted a place in his life.. a respect in his eyes... for me.

All of a sudden, She throws a bucket full of water on me... drenching me from head to toe. "Wake up! Wench!" she laughs hysterically. I wipe my face, with my palms and I hear another laugh.. Fatima laughs along with her. I turn towards them, and look at her Daasi, Fatima who laughs her heart out... No this is not a forced laugh.. not a fake laugh to please her master... she is genuinely laughing.. at me.

"What are you smirking about Bitch!" I hear Rukhsaar's voice. I didn't realize I was smirking.. was I?

"Nothing. Are you done?" I ask her casually. Her smile vanishes at my nonchalant behaviour. If only she saw the turmoil inside me. If only she saw the amount of damage her actions have done to me.

"Look at yourself! Even my servants are better than you." she spits to the ground in disgust. I hear Fatima giggle, making Rukhsaar smirk. "Can I go now?" I shrug at my wet clothes. She looks at me bewildered.. "Open the doors Fatima, There you go homewrecker!" she taunts as she turns away. I walk towards my room, drenched from head to toe.

As I enter my chambers, I hear multiple gasps.. my Daasis run towards me, with a new pair of clothes. I shake my head in denial. They try to dry me with a towel... "Don't!" for the first time, I raise my voice, scaring them away. I sit on my bed in those soaked clothes. It's almost night.. I was supposed to go to Nawaaz ji's chambers. "Has my— Is there any message from Shehzaade Nawaaz ji?" I don't recognize my own voice.. it sounds weak.. meek, just like me.

They look at me worried.. and nod "Yes Begum Diya ji, You were called to his chambers tonight, You should change these soaked clothes, you could fall ill, Begum ji" Asha dares to speak. I think I scared them.. it feels good to hear Begum Diya.. But I don't move from my seat.

I hear the announcement of his arrival.. I don't look up, nor do I stand. I hear him walk in, and other rushing out. "Little Dove! I thought I made myself clear— What the hell! Little Dove! why are you drenched!!! Daasi!!—" he rushes towards me.. and starts to shout for Daasis. I interrupt him. "Don't call them." I try to speak up.. but only a low whisper comes out from my throat.

He stands in front of me. and uplifts my chin forcibly. "What the hell were they doing till now? They should be punished for being so irresponsible" he grits his teeth, and starts to call them, to scold them. I hold his hand on my chin "I didn't allow them to complete their responsibility. I am to blame.. not them" I stare at him. He looks down at me.. with confusion clear on his face.

"How did you end up drenched?" he asks with a frown. Here comes the question..

"I slipped near the fountains.. in the garden." I lie

His frown deepens.. "Did you hurt yourself?" he asks making me smile a bit. He cares.

"No. I am perfectly fine." I smile at him.. but that doesn't convince him. " and why didn't you change out of these wet clothes?" he questions.

"I was waiting for you." I answer without second thoughts. That surprises him. "You were supposed to come to my chambers. Then why were you waiting for me here?" he counters... he is smart.

I pull on his hand and make him kneel in front of me.. now he is on my eye level. I hold his hand in between mine and I look straight into his kohled eyes. "You said... that I am yours." I whisper as I play with his fingers in my hands. He doesn't speak, just stares at me intensely. So I continue.. "But are you mine?" I finally blurt it out in a low whisper

"Yours? As in? I am your Husband.. I am your Saviour." He repeats his words from the morning, as if these are the only words that should matter to me. "Mine.. As in, Just my Man?" I speak without any twisted words. He looks at me for a second, finally understanding what I truly mean.

He takes his hands out of my hold... answering me without any spoken words. "I am not your Man, I can never be. Coz I am not that kind of person." He stands as he walks towards the bed and starts removing his upper coat, getting ready to sleep.

I sit there, with a small smile. I have always known, what he just said. I knew that it was a hopeless chance, that I took. I have known his answer since a long time... and that's why I didn't tell him the true reason behind my soaked self.. that's why I didn't utter the bitter words that his first wife, Begum Rukhsaar spat at me.... that's why I didn't tell him.. how she and her Daasi Fatima insulted me.. and shattered the little amount of self respect I had for myself into tiny pieces and threw them at my drenched face.

Because I knew.. the truth would not make any difference.. he would not punish his own childhood friend, who is also his first wife for any other woman who just came into his life.. for a woman like me. I didn't want to be disappointed and hurt when he chooses her over me, even after knowing the truth. That would be the last nail to my coffin.

I knew this all... and I still hoped for a "yes.. I am yours, just as you are mine" from his mouth. I wipe away the drop of tears that had fallen from my eyes.. mixing themselves with the water, that she threw at me. I guess, she was right. I was living an impossible dream.

"Change your clothes, and come to the bed, Little Dove" I hear him say. But one scene flashes before me, halting me on my walk to the dressing. The sight of him Kneeling before me.. on my one pull.

Maybe it's not a hopeless dream afterall. It seemed impossible.. because I never hoped for it.. never yearned for it. I turn back, to see him laying on my bed, waiting for me to join him for sleep.

Maybe... It is possible, Not now... but not never.

Whoa!! That was a long intense chapter. What do you all say? Did you all enjoy reading this chapter?

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