《》Zoldyck Family Halloween
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Boo! Hello, readers, you know what time it its? Yep, it's almost time for spooky season. Just a couple more weeks and we'll be celebrating October 31.
As I'm sure you're all getting your costumes, decorations, and various holiday plans in order, let's drop in on the Halloween preparations of one of the most inarguably creepy families in existence for a little inspiration!
-Holidays are for wimps, he's got a fucking job to do, no time for this crap
-He especially hates Halloween
-"Every year, it just brings more goddamn tourists up Kukuroo Mountain. I'm sick of them clogging up our driveway with their damn Haunted Mansion talk."
-Tells Silva to lighten up
-Swaps out her usual dress and headgear for a Morticia Addams slinky gown, plus a pointed witch's hat
-Reminds one of the butlers to run down to Target and buy candy for the trick-or-treaters who are brave enough to knock on the Testing Gates
-Turns the candy over to Zebro and puts him in charge of handing it out
-"Would you like a Snickers, Madame Zoldyck?"
-"No thank you, Zebro, I'll remind you I'm pushing 50, and this figure doesn't maintain itself"
-"It's just a Fun Size bar, it shouldn't do much harm, Madame"
-"Zebro. My discipine is how I have a 25-year-old and still manage to look THIS HOT"
-Surreptitiously tries to steal some of the trick-or-treat candy when nobody is looking
-"Grandpa, are you smoking weed again? Quit blaming it on your glaucoma."
-Gets an invitation to a Halloween party
-Calls Hisoka
-"I'm invited to a Halloween party. What does that mean?"
-"It means you have to wear a costume, Illumi"
-"I don't have a costume."
-"I'm sure you'll find something, darling"
-Illumi hangs up, then looks around his room, trying to decide what to wear
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-He comes across a pile of Hisoka's clothes that he accidentally left the last time he spent the night
-Illumi puts them on, figuring that will do
-Spots his mother toting the bags of candy down to Zebro
-Waits until she's back up in the mansion, then beelines down to the guardhouse
-"Gimme the fucking chocolate, Zebro, or I'm changing all of Mike's safe words"
-Thanks his lucky stars that he's with Gon on Whale Island where he can celebrate Halloween like a normal kid
-When trick-or-treating, he brings along eggs, so he can trash the houses that hand out the crappy cheap stuff instead of chocolate bars
-Halloween is not much fun for Alluka, but she has her ways of contributing
-This year, she records Nanika crooning, "Give me your spine. Your brain. Your liver," in an especially creepy voice, puts it on a 10-hour loop, and projects it from Zebro's guardhouse
-On her little remote camera, she giggles in glee, watching all the Kukuroo Mountain tourists shit their pants
-"Danchou? Can we go trick-or-treating?"
-"Number Four. You know we have important work to do."
-"Let's just stop at one house? Please?"
-(Sigh) "Fine"
-"I have a great idea. Let's go to my house. My mother always buys tons of candy"
-"That's a long trek--all the way up the mountain"
-"It'll be worth it"
-The Troupe makes their way up Kukuroo Mountain
-"This better be worth it, Kalluto, all this exercise is making me starving"
-They finally arrive at Zebro's guardhouse
-Milluki is sitting in front of an empty bowl, belching, with chocolate stains all over his face
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