This one is for my Feitan family.

So anyway, here's the situation: Chrollo is in a reflective mood and musing over how much he appreciates his loyal, hardworking Troupe. He fondly thinks of each member, and suddenly gets teary-eyed thinking of a younger, less sinister Feitan, dressed in his shabby clothes back in the Meteor City days.

"Poor Feitan, my little brother," he thinks to himself. "He doesn't even know when his birthday is."

He snaps his fingers suddenly. That's it! It's time to throw a huge surprise party for Feitan!

Here's how it goes.

-"Aw fuck," he cusses, even though Aunt Mito and Grandma are in full earshot

-When they look shocked and berate him for his language, he says, "I'm sorry but you don't get it"

-"This is the creep who once threatened to break my arm and every one of my fingers and now I have to go to a party for him?"

-Killua has the same reaction as Gon; he's not too thrilled about going to a party for someone who was straight-up going to torture his best friend

-Illumi tells him to chill

-Kalluto tells him to chill

-Killua tells both of them to go screw themselves, then looks a little stunned because he just told a fifth grader to fuck off

-Illumi gets pissed and threatens to knock Killua's block off for talking filthy in front of their baby brother

-Face turns green, eyeballs turn red

-Says "The hell I am going anywhere near this"

-Someone hastily gets him a glass of water and two aspirin and tells him to go to bed and forget about it all

-"Did I ever meet this guy? Oh yeah, the short dude? A spider?"

-(Laughs uproariously) "I bet he comes up to my kneecap, right?"

-Calls up Illumi

-Says "Can you do that thing where you do a doppleganger for four hours? But this time be Feitan...think about how funny that would be, everyone would die if two Feitans showed up at the party"

-Illumi answers, "Dude. I was able to disguise myself as YOU because we are the same height. I can't chop 12 inches off. Use your brain"

-Is the only sensible level-headed one in the bunch

-Thinks having a party for Feitan is a nice idea

-Suggests having it at the Zoldyck mansion, specifically in the dungeon with all the torture equipment

-Cries copiously while looking through footage and photos of Feitan over the years

-"I LOVE YOU," he sobs. "My little No. 2"

-Chrollo knows Shalnark will be jealous of all of this

-He promises to throw a party for Shalnark next

-Shalnark grumbles but agrees to help curate a slideshow of Fei's finest moments over the past decade

-Arrives at the Zoldyck mansion thinking he's on a job

-He is shown to the dungeon

-He looks around approvingly at all the equipment and mechanisms

-Settles down in a chair and cracks his knuckles and says, "Ready to go, next patient pleeeease"

-Everyone jumps out and screams SURPRISE

-Chrollo embraces Feitan and says "Happy un-birthday. We love you"

-"(No we don't)" whisper a few voices, but Illumi menacingly holds up a handful of pins and they shut up

-Everyone can't help but shed a few tears