So, you're out on the town with your favorite boy and lo and behold, who do you happen to bump into? Yes, yes, your ex whom you broke up with just a year ago....here is how your CURRENT boy responds.

(I am skipping Gon and Killua because even if they are aged up to 14 at this point, I don't think either one of them would do anything but giggle helplessly and/or say something like "What a butthole!" Middle schoolers...)

So that said....Fancy running into you here?

-You introduce (ex's name) and say "This is my boyfriend, Kurapika"

-Kurapika stiffly shakes hands

-He ropes your ex into an immediate and complicated conversation about some current event in which your ex is clearly intellectually smacked down

-Your ex, looking desperately for a way out, excuses himself as soon as possible

-Kurapika appears smug

-As you introduce the two, Leorio takes a swig of his drink and says "Oh, hi, there," deliberately adopting a cool, chill tone

-Acts like he does not give two shits, but you can see he's checking your ex out head to toe

-Once your ex leaves, he hisses at you, "Seriously? You went out with that pussy?"

-Says hi, looks your ex up and down, then puts a maddening smirk on his face

-As you try to politely catch up with your ex, Hisoka keeps smirking and, even more annoyingly, snickering to himself

-He keeps laughing at random moments all night long, even after your ex leaves

-Refuses to tell you what's so funny

-Fuck he is such a butthole!

-Says, "Oh, hey, man, what's up"

-When your ex says he has to go, Illumi says, "Nice to meet you, bro"

-"Ready to go home?" he asks you

-He's completely unaffected by this entire scene

-"Are you not even the least bit jealous?" you ask him

-"Huh?"

-Chrollo behaves himself impeccably upon meeting your ex, asking all the right polite questions, answering any questions directed toward himself pleasantly

-Puts an arm around you, not possessively, but in a "Isn't y/n a gem and aren't we both lucky sonofabitches?" way

-You know deep down he's sizzling pissed off

-You know exactly what will happen because Feitan literally always does this when he's thrust into a situation he isn't thrilled about

-He stares at your ex, then says a few things in his weird language

-Your ex assumes Feitan does not speak English and, after a pleasant smile and nod, directs all his conversation to you

-Makes an effort to be cool. "Can I buy you a drink?"

-You know he doesn't really want to be friendly

-You can visibly see the muscles working in his jaw

-You silently wish your ex to refuse the drink and go away because this is too awkward

-Your ex smiles and says thanks but no thanks

-Shalnark exhales