I believe a while ago we explored the "if you are sick" scenario. To my surprise, I guess we never considered when HE is sick. Here we go...get the thermometer...

-Crawls into bed and hides under the covers and refuses to come out

-Throws up all over himself

-Starts hallucinating dreams of Aunt Mito cuddling him as a young boy

-Cries

-Oh please. He's been poisoned and tortured since he was a little kid

-(Cue Zoldyck theme) ZOLDYCKS DO NOT GET SICK

-You tell him, doubtfully, "You're not looking too good"

-He gets a gleam in his eye

-"Oh no," you say. "Not--"

-"Nothing 10,000 watts won't fry right up!" he says, and blasts himself with current

-"I really wish you wouldn't do that," you groan. "You just blew out every lightbulb in the house again."

-You find him slumped over his desk delirious with fever

-You gently pull him up and start leading him to bed

-"I can work, I can work," he keeps protesting. "Stop it! Let me work! Let me do my WORK!"

-Has the keys to the pharmacy

-Takes a handful of various drugs

-No prob. Good as new by the next day

-You know those annoying types who are still horny even when they are sneezing, coughing, going through a box of Kleenex every hour, and you can basically cook an egg on their forehead? Yeah that's our boy

-Oh please. He's been poisoned and tortured since he was a little kid

-(Cue Zoldyck theme) ZOLDYCKS DO NOT GET SICK

-You say, a bit worried, "You look like crap, maybe you should take the day off"

-He snorts and says, "What do you want me to do? Bury myself in a hole and sleep for a week? I have things to get done today"

-Ignores his symptoms, he's a tough guy

-This makes it hit him even worse and he goes down hard

-You find him in the bedroom feverishly clutching a Bible and chanting "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"

-Tells you to get a priest, it's Last Rites time

-Feitan is really pissed at himself, he accidentally nicked his hand with one of his disgusting rusty bloody torture tools during an interrogation session

-His muscles are all spasming and he knows he's totally fucked. He has to go get a tetanus shot

-"How exactly did you injure yourself, again?" asks the doctor, in bewilderment

-Shalnark is pissed at Chrollo for giving him too much overtime lately, so he decides to feign illness

-"I can't go out today" (Dramatic cough cough cough)

-Chrollo is skeptical but is like, "Alright, whatever, just stay in your room so you don't spread this around the Troupe"

-Shalnark goes in his room, shuts the door, promptly jumps out the window, and goes and parties for a couple days straight