《》Jury Duty
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Always a delight when that summons appears in the mail, right?
Let's see how they weasel out of this one.
-(In unison) "TOO YOUNG AGAIN FOR THIS SCENARIO"
-"Too bad. I kind of wanna go do jury duty"
-"Are you kidding? It's totally boring. You sit there for hours and nine times out of 10 you get a dumb case like insurance fraud or something"
-"Maybe. Maybe you get the guy who murdered a bunch of people and you get to send him to the electric chair!"
-"Watch it. You're talking about my family, bro. And, by the way, the electric chair won't work on us."
-"Lethal injection, then."
-"Hah!!!! Try again, sucker"
-Does not want to do jury duty because he's got a fuck of a work schedule and these trials can drag on for months
-During jury selection, the pool is told that they will be hearing a murder case--some dude who killed another dude's family
-Kurapika smiles to himself, raises his hand, and promptly gets himself excused due to an inability to be nonbiased
-Also does not want to do jury duty
-Tells the judge he is on medical staff and they can't spare him right now for any length of time
-The judge says "Take a night shift"
-Shit
-Examines the jury duty summons when it comes in the mail
-Uses texture surprise to change the name and address to "Illumi Zoldyck" on Kukuroo Mountain
-Drops it back in the mailbox with a note: "Delivered to wrong address"
-"Fuck a duck! How did I get summoned?"
-(Hisoka) "Who knows. Probably the DMV."
-"I don't drive, asswipe! I have butlers for that"
-"Well then it must be that you voted in the primaries last year. They get you through that, too"
-"I was doing my civic duty!"
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-"Well, now you get to do it again!"
-Is a little nervous about this because, duh, he and the legal system don't really mix well
-But because he's hip slick and cool, he figures he can just disguise his appearance by tying a scarf around his forehead.
-There! That'll do it. Nobody will recognize him as the infamous leader of the deadliest gang on earth now
-Once jury selection begins and he is being interviewed, he throws in a shit ton of legal terms like "shepardize" and stuff, which irritates both the prosecution and the defense, and they end up dismissing him.
-Refuses to take his mask off during jury selection
-Pretends he doesn't understand the language the judge is speaking
-Responds only in "Feitan" language
-The judge thinks he's a royal pain in the ass and it's Friday afternoon, so he dismisses him
-Gets selected for the jury
-The case is a huge murder trial
-Shalnark ends up sending Sedokan, the psychotic bomber who somehow managed to escape Trick Tower and a 200-year sentence only to go on and kill gazillions of other people, to the electric chair
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