Every year, some time in mid-summer, I start to get the itch for things to cool down.

One of the biggest indicators of Fall for this American who attended a crazy-ass Division 1 NCAA university is FOOTBALL SEASON.

So, while musing about what Washington is going to finally rename their team and other such uniquely American fare, I started thinking about--you got it--who'd play what positions in an all-HxH football team.

Let's not even speculate what we'd call the team. They'd be the Transmuters, of course, because....

: He's the quarterback, naturally, because he's obnoxious and wants all the attention and glory and spotlight. (Don't get me wrong, he's actually got the body for the position, he'd be good at it.)

Head coach, of course. Negotiated an insane contract. Makes more money than God or Bill Belichick.

Offensive coordinator. Not thrilled about working under Chrollo, but anyone who knows football knows the OC is the real brains behind the playbook.

Everyone laughed at him and said "Aren't you too old for the NFL?" To which he answered: Number one, no. And number two--two words--Tom Brady, dumbasses? But anyway, he quit and got a job as a host on ESPN's Sunday NFL Countdown.

Center. Hisoka made him take this position so he could stare at his ass as he snaps the ball. (Sorry, sorry, couldn't resist. Penalty flag! False start!)

Running back. Regularly rushes 90+ yards to a TD and nobody can touch him. The kid is as fast as lightning.

Kicker. Too small for most positions, but he regularly saves the day by winning in overtime with insane, 60-yard field goals. (This pisses Hisoka off, because he doesn't like sharing the spotlight.)

Defensive tackle. Yeah, yeah--he seems a little light for this job, but Chrollo has him train with Uvo. Dude knows how to take a hit.

Cheerleader. Because we all know he likes to wear a skirt.