We make eye contact and he sighs before sending his friends off.

I approach him already willing to plead my case, "Leo, I am so sorry."

"What happened to you? I stayed there forever even after everyone left and you still weren't back."

"Oh, my god, baby— I'm sorry."

"Where'd you go?"

"To the hospital...Jace overdosed on pills, and I had to see if he was okay."

Leo shakes his head in disbelief, "Jace? You walked out on your birthday to go check on him?"

"It was the only way to get information."

"What, you've never heard of a phone?"

"I would've had to wait a day or two to get in touch with someone who knew and could tell me how he was."

"So? Wait. It's not like it would have made a difference."

I step back, surprised at his lack of sympathy. "You're being really harsh, Leo."

"After you didn't come back to the room, I searched the whole party for you. I stayed down there asking each person if they'd seen you until finally someone said you left. I was scared something was wrong, and it was just fucking Jace," he huffs. "Your mom and dad let me hang out on the couch for hours because they wanted to know where the hell you were too."

I reach up to caress his face, "I understand why you're mad-"

"I'm not mad," he moves my hands away from him.

"I thought I'd be back sooner, but he was in a bad place, and his parents were too emotional to be of any use to him."

"What are you a shrink?"

I roll my eyes, "would you stop?"

"You just sat there all night with him for what?"

"We were watching tv, we fell asleep."

"What? Where? There's no way you dozed off in one of those shitty chairs." Guilty. Okay. My gaze shifts down. "Come on," he laughs dryly.

"It's not how it sounds, I promise, but I was wrong for not at least telling you before I left. I acted on impulse. I was scared he might have been in a coma or on life support— what if he ended up like Ryan?"

"Heather, that's-" Leo shakes his head and steps back. "I don't want to hear that right now. I'm going to go."

"We have to talk or-"

"I just don't care. Call me an asshole, whatever, but I don't give a fuck what happens to Jace." He walks off down the hall leaving me too stunned to do anything else. Chasing after you will only make it worse, so what do I do now? He turns to look at me again before he's too far, "And you know I don't like that guy. You know how I feel about you and him because it's you who always stops me from doing something about it!"

My stomach twists at his tone. He doesn't usually yell at me...

And now we're on display for the judgmental eyes of the people around us.

"You know you have nothing to worry about."

"Yeah," Leo scoffs, "try saying that without sleeping next to him first."

Dear, God...

I look through the window and see Tony seated in the office. I hoped that I could keep this a secret from everyone and spare my pride. Alex— Mr. Faust insisted that I see the in-school counselor rather than an outside therapist. I think he just wants everything documented here to completely exonerate himself as if I were ever trying to get him in trouble.

I walk through the door, and Tony glances up at me before tensing in his seat.

You're not here to talk about your classes either then.

All the chairs are right next to each other, so I have no choice but to sit with him.

The silence is uncomfortable but talking would make the discomfort more obvious...seeing as though we're both walking around Girl, Interrupted.

"So..." Tony laughs awkwardly.

"Mhm."

"What are you in for?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh...I hope you feel better then."

"I feel fine, this isn't by choice," I say annoyed. He nods and keeps his head down. "Why are you here?"

"Because I hate myself," Tony chuckles, and my jaw drops a bit as I'm rendered speechless. "Don't look at me like that, I only kind of mean it."

"That's a little scary, Tony...what's wrong?"

"I don't make friends easily and one almost died."

"It's not your fault."

"Which part?" He turns to me with tired eyes and his lips pulled into a line that can half-pass for a smile. It's the face you make when you're completely defeated but trying not to cry...and that hurts my heart.

Physically hugging you would only make this weirder...but an emotional hug would work. Something less useless than 'hey, it'll get better.'

"I tried to date my English teacher, so now I have to meet with the guidance counselor three times a week, plus he's scheduling a meeting with my parents, and switching me out of his class."

There. Now you know both of our parades have been rained out.

"Alison..." he stifles his laughter, "what?"

I sigh dejectedly, "I misinterpreted a few things that he said...and he was being so nice to me, I just thought..."

"You thought that you could go out with him?"

"You can't tell anyone, okay? It's embarrassing enough seeing him here every day."

"Promise," he puts his hand up as if he wants a high five.

"Thank you," my hand meets his, and he intertwines our fingers.

I gaze at him confused, but he pulls away like it's nothing.

"We're sad, aren't we?" Tony asks.

I hate it.

"Yes."

A lady steps out of the office and greets us with a smile. "Anthony Milligan?"

Tony gets up to follow her back but faces me before he does.

"Same time tomorrow?" He asks.

I nod, "that's what my schedule says."

I walk out of the restroom and the girls crowd around me.

"So? What does it say?" Jess Garraway asked beggingly.

"I...don't think you want to know."

"I have to know! All of his friends keep laughing and saying things when they see me."

I sigh, "it says 'buy Jess G. dinner, you'll be a winner. Two dates or more, she will let you in the back door."

Jess scoffs mortified, "A rhyme?"

"But, Jess, your house doesn't even have a back door," Mia says in confusion making Jess glare at her. "Oh..." she catches on.

"It'll blow over in a week. They're dumb guys, we barely pay attention to the stuff they put down anyway," I try to calm her down.

"Is there anything about me written in there?" Mckayla says nervously.

Oh, yeah, definitely.

"I— I didn't read all of it, I was just looking for Jess' name."

"Can you go back in?" She asks and they all nod like it's a great idea.

I shake my head, "no. No way. If they find out I'm telling you what's on those walls, they'll kill me." There's some serious stuff in there. Someone named Ashley Thorn apparently has syphilis.

"Guys are so gross," Karlie huffs and crosses her arms.

"What, girls don't write on the walls?" I say disbelievingly.

"Nice things— if it's about a boy," McKayla speaks up.

Bully each other but not the guys who bully you.

"Maybe you should start writing warnings," I suggest, "like...don't go out with Billy Masterson because he'll tell all his friends that you like butt stuff."

"Zach," Jess says offendedly.

"Or don't date Rylie because he's kinda pushy and says creepy things about girls."

"That's not such a bad idea. It would make it easier to tell Beverly Bailor that Reese hooked up with her sister after the homecoming dance," Mia says and I shrug indifferently at the piece of information. "That's her boyfriend." Oh.

"You know, Zach, it's so cool that you're just like...one of us," McKayla smiles at me, so I know it's meant to be a compliment. "I wish you could come to my sleepover this weekend, but my mom would say 'no.'"

"Thanks?"

"So, do guys do that for each other?" Karlie cuts in. "Write warnings about girls?"

"Nope. It's always just she's a slut, she's a prude, he's a dork, he's a fag."

She gasps and then narrows her eyes in anger. "That's disgusting."

It's crazy. Evan, Charlie, and I joked about becoming school superheroes, but Karlie kind of did it instead. Someone carved "God hates gays" into a desk in the Art History classroom, and Karlie was really upset that I saw it, so the next day she brought me a bunch of crap that said God loves everyone. It was too nice of a gesture for me to tell her I didn't care, and worst of all that I knew it was Ian Kimball who carved that into the desk and he does it to all his desks because he is gay and an atheist. I had a class with him last year and watched him write 'satanist' in black sharpie onto the poster of world religions. He's just a rebel without a cause.

The bell rings signaling that it's time for lunch.

"You're sitting with us, right?" McKayla looks over at me.

"As long as-"

"As long as Charlie can sit with us too, we know," she finishes my sentence and playfully rolls her eyes.

"Before we go," Jess hands me a marker and nods toward the bathroom door, "Cross it out."

"You guys are killing me."

"Good afternoon, sir," Harry takes my bag and jacket.

"I suppose."

"Mrs. Kendal stopped by with a gift basket earlier. She gives her utmost apologies for her presumptuous behavior."

"Screw her, Harry."

"...I will send her a 'thank you' on your behalf."

I lift my head and narrow my eyes. Something is different here. "What's that smell?"

"Oh, Ms. Vivian is preparing supper," he smiles.

I raise my eyebrows in intrigue... "And, where's my father?"

"He's not in, we are expecting him later."

"Great. Go pick up my dry cleaning, will you?"

I note his look of hesitance, but he would not dare protest.

"Yes, Mr. Trevor."

Precisely.

"And, how do I look?"

"Remarkable, sir."

Good, something we agree on. Now, if you'll excuse me...

"Vivian," I enter the kitchen with a smile on my face, "a pleasant surprise as always."

"Hello, Trevor," she stands by the oven, "How was school?"

"Asinine."

"In a few years, you will be grateful for what you have learned."

"The only thing I have learned today is what it's like to come home to food cooking."

"Well, everything will be done soon. It's only lasagna, nothing too special."

"Give yourself more credit. It's special if you made it."

"You don't have to sit here and wait, I'll bring you some when it's finished."

"If I leave I'll be bored," I take a seat on the floor next to her. "I'd rather you entertain me."

"Amuse yourself with your homework."

"That was funny, tell another one."

"Have some friends over, then. I will make snacks."

"You're really getting into this domestic role, I see. It's just like my father to find a vivacious woman to tame."

"Trevor," she says warningly.

"Right, let me rephrase that. It's just like my father to find a nice lady to ruin."

"I wish you two got along better."

"Like the way I get along with you?" I smirk.

"It makes me sad to hear the way you talk to each other."

"Then, it's a good thing you're such a great buffer."

"I can't always be here."

"And when you are, you try to avoid me."

Vivian pauses and stays momentarily quiet before letting me hear her soft voice. "That is not true."

I chuckle, "you're trying to get rid of me right now." And because it is true, she can't bother with a rebuttal. "It's okay, Viv. Our little indiscretion is a thing of the past. Tiptoeing around being near me is unnecessary. It's almost as if you believe we will give into our primal instincts given the opportunity." I'm willing to put money on the first stormy night dear dad is away.

I'm looking forward to it.

"That's a relief to hear," she says facetiously.

"I'm sure it is. Aren't you glad we had this conversation, now?"

"Yes, Trevor."

"We both love my father so much. We would never hurt him," I say deviously since the sarcasm game is what she wants to play.

Vivian glances over at me questioningly. "...Exactly."

"Okay, good chat," I stand up, and she sends me a thin smile. "I'll be in the jacuzzi," I say while unbuttoning my shirt in front of her. Her face flushes for a moment and she quickly tears her eyes away to recover. "But, I'd love to take you up on that offer of snacks."

Matt walks up to the table, "Oh, so now I'm invited on time, okay."

"Shut up, who's ever heard of being 'on time' to a party?" Danny asks.

"The people who make invitations."

"Leo said bring some people, I brought the people I was around."

I laugh and shake my head, "you were around Amanda?"

"Here we go with this again," he groans.

"With what? If you like her, you like her."

"I think he does like her," Matt teases. "Aren't you always asking Mandy for advice now?"

"No, I'm not asking her for advice-"

"Mandy and Danny," I sigh, "imagine that."

Matt smiles, "she's like blow and he's like puff, put them together and you've got-"

I snicker, "some really nervous stoners."

"Not if you tell them first."

"I'm not going to date Amanda, got it?" Danny says sternly before pointing to Zach. "Why aren't you asking him questions? I invited him too, he didn't show."

"I already had somewhere to be," Zach puts his arms up in defense.

"And where was that?"

"Aaron?" I ask.

"Evan?" Matt asks.

"Curfew?" Danny scoffs.

"Ha-ha, you guys know so much," Zach rolled his eyes. "No, I was babysitting for my mom's friend, I made 20 bucks."

"Team Aaron," Matt calls out.

"Team Evan," I argue.

"Why would you root for him?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I thought Evan was cool?" Danny chimes in, and we both look at him in surprise, "Yeah, I know," he nods smugly, "he told me."

"Evan is cool, I'm with Aaron, and I don't want input from any of you. Failed relationship," Zach points to Danny, "no relationship," he points to Matt, "and I asked you for advice one time and you gave me a skin flick," he points to me.

"What?" Danny laughs.

"I thought it would help," I shrug.

"How?"

"I wasn't even asking for sex tips," Zach says.

"I figured you were, and I figured it was a girl. The movie was an idea of what you'd be in for, get you familiar with the equipment." Honest mistake.

"That's what you guys did to learn?" Zach questions.

"No, practice makes perfect. No one wants to be that guy the girls rag on for only lasting a minute," Matt responds.

I nod in agreement, "they still call Mark the minute man."

"And they talked about Yoko for a year after Lea said he fingered her like something was lost up there," Danny adds.

"Shits embarrassing. You gotta learn or they'll come for you," Matt warns him. "Well, maybe not you."

"Yeah, you're fine," Danny waves him off.

"Guys talk, but they don't talk talk. Girls use a lot of details," I explain.

"I know guys talk, I've been in a locker room," Zach shrugs. "They say things like: 'I'm going to take out this new girl while my girlfriend's home sick because I want a blowie and she has no gag-reflex.'"

"Right," Matt continues, "and girls say things like: 'his dick was exactly this big, he lasted this long, and this is the face he makes when he shoots his load."

"Moral of the story, get good and you won't have anything to worry about," Danny declares.

"Thanks, that's really helpful," Zach gives him a sarcastic expression.

Matt gasps, "Food!" And we follow his eyes to where my mom is with the trays.

"Here you are, boys." She starts to set them down on the table. "Be careful, okay? The plates are hot."

"Thank you, mom."

"Oh, Leo, I forgot to tell you. Heather called while you were out. I took a message-"

"It's not important."

"Jellybean," she puts her hands on her hips, "you didn't even read the message."

"What's it say? Call her?"

"Something like that, yes."

"See, not important," I shrug.

"Someone's in a bad mood," she says disapprovingly. "Don't take it out on everyone else."

"He's mad at his girlfriend," Matt intervenes, and I scowl.

"She didn't like the perfume?"

"She did," I huff. "It's something else, I don't wanna talk about it."

"He's swearing off speaking to all women. This is what love does," Matt teases.

"Love?" My mom says in surprise. "Love?" Her eyes widen.

I sigh in frustration, "I don't want to talk about any of it."

Her face shows that she's tempted to push for the response she actually wants— but she leaves the table, instead.

I'll have to hear about this later.

"Thanks a lot, bro," I say to Matt.

"Me? She was sniffing you out. Way to make it obvious you're fighting with Heather," he says defensively. "Did you expect her to think you and your tutor were having creative differences?"

"If you're mad at her, does that mean you won't pass along her birthday gift for me?" Zach asks.

"Fuck that birthday," I roll my eyes.

"Can't. I told her I'd get her a movie. I bought 'The Little Rascals.' Do you think she's seen it?"

"She has, she likes Buckwheat."

"I was hoping she'd like Alfalfa since you're like him and she's like Darla and the kid in his dad's Bentley is like...every other guy she's dated. But, if she likes Buckwheat then there's a whole other person I can't name."

"Shh," I push his drink closer to him to urge him to shut up.

"So, you gonna break up or what?" Danny leans back in his seat.

"I'm not that mad at her, but I'm mad, and I don't want to talk about it with you either."

"Priss," he scoffed.

"Priss," Zach repeated.

I glare at them both and then look to Matt so he can complete the circle.

He shakes his head, "I'm not gonna call you a priss."

"I'm not a priss, you guys don't know what went down, fucking jerkoffs."

"Whatever," Matt shrugs and then looks around the table, "remember Lydia?"

Zach nods, "Peyton's friend."

"My friend now."

"Bullshit," Danny gave him a skeptical look.

"Nope," Matt said happily.

"What's wrong with her?"

A smile sprawls out on Matt's face. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

"She's like 20," I say in disbelief.

"I happen to be very mature for my age," Matt speaks in a serious tone. Danny and I keep on straight faces...until we make eye contact and burst out laughing. If Matt was 12, then yeah, he'd be mature for his age. "Know what? This is why me and Zach don't want to hear shit from you guys and your failed relationships."

I stop laughing immediately. "Fuck you."