The doors opened, the hinges scraping against itself heavily, an awful screech echoing. "There has been terrible accident," Mother said, the heel of her shoes thudding against the floor. She walked down the row of beds where we all sit silently. "American couple has crashed car with their child. Very unfortunate...accident." We all had a different understanding of what accident meant compared to its true definition. "However," she stopped in the center of the room, folding her hands behind her back and holding her head high, "we do not need to let their child die."

One of the men at the entrances reads from a report. "Age seven, fair complexion, blood type AB negative, 132 cm tall, black hair and brown eyes."

Mother turned toward the direction of my bed. Her eyes pinpointed me and a pleased smile formed. "Come, child," she beckoned. I unfolded my legs, hopping off the bed and walking toward her. I stood in front of her, waiting for what to be told next. "Come, Gerard," she said, taking my hand and leading me out of the room.

The white light was all I could see while lying on the cold table. It was so bright, it's all I could see. But my lack of sight allowed me to focus clearer on the conversation.

"His eyes are green."

"Five out of six is good enough," I heard Mother say. "By time he is finished, his eyes will be forgotten. Now go, fix his face."

The white light was all I could see. Nothing else but the white light. "You must be still," they kept telling me. "Do not scream. Be still." It hurt. It hurt more than anything else they put me through. And there was nothing but the pain. There were no thoughts in my head. There was nothing to focus on besides the pain and the blinding white light. I could only see the light. Like I died and went to heaven. It was like death because I did die. I did not exist anymore.

"What is your name?" they asked. They haven't turned off the light yet. I couldn't find the strength to speak but they started shaking me. "State your name!"

My entire face was vibrating. I could barely feel my face. They broke my jaw and shifted back. My cheeks were inflamed as they needed to be higher. The bridge of my nose had a deeper curve. What hurt most of all was my mouth. My lips were half the size they usually were but it felt my lips were cut off my face entirely. The reduction makes it impossible to know I still have lips. And my teeth were shaved down to a smaller, rounder shape. Every so often, I tasted metallic over my tongue. Everything was hurting but my entire face was tightly bound together. At this point, I'm sure the gauze is what's holding my face together. After all, I was in a car accident with my parents. The surgery was inevitable. Which is why I won't look exactly the same. I find my voice. I find the strength to speak. "My name is-"

"Who are you?" they demanded, shaking me rougher. It hurts.

I caught myself. That was my one mistake. And my last. I speak again, this time more thought out and controlled. Not in my usual accent. Not in my mother tongue. "My name is Gerard Way." The light turned off.

I snap awake, sharply inhaling. I sit up slowly, looking around the room while taking a slow breath. I am in my room. I am in my apartment in Washington D.C. I am alone. I'm still asleep. Everything is fine.

It's Monday. Out of habit, I start getting ready for work. I make it to the office, heading up the stairs. Things are slowly turning back to normal which is what I need right now. I glance at our corner in the squad-room, noting Macy isn't here. Akari is at their desk typing away but Brendon's desk is...different. The monitors are turned and all the office supplies on the desk are different and organized in a meticulous manner. "Akari," I call out, staring at the desk.

"Huh, Gerard?" they say, looking up from their work. "When did you get here?"

I disregard the question. "What's..." I point a finger, waving it at the desk.

Akari slumps back. "Hannah has..." I throw my hands in the air at the sound of her name. "Yeah."

"Unbelievable," I mutter, pacing back and forth. Akari watches me storm over to my desk and open the top drawer. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I'm just mad. I close the drawer, glancing around. "I'm not working with her."

"She is your partner," they say matter-of-factly.

"I do not want to work with her." Akari purses their lip to the side. "Why did I get stuck with her?"

"Gerard, you had the...vacancy."

I shift my jaw, placing my hands at my hips. "Fine, you got me there," I mutter, nodding bitterly. Had anyone else said that I probably would've smacked them.

"Although, it does not make it less disrespectful," they say. I nod my head, staring at the floor. I have nothing against her personally. I'm just against her working with me. I don't hate her. I hate her replacing Brendon. He's gathered so much intel for the case, leading us as far as we got. He's also the one that got Elsa to reveal where my location would be before she died. He's the reason I'm still alive and made it out of that warehouse. He's also the agent who followed loose ends and was the one that knew the operations of the attack were still ago. All for what? We didn't finish this yet and it already cost us so much. For Brendon, it cost him everything.

"Moving past this," I say, clearing my throat, "Brendon was coming back from an investigation. What do you know about it?"

"Ah, the flash drive," Akari says, trailing off, glancing warily at their screen. I head over behind their desk, seeing what they've got. A lot of codes and spreadsheets that don't make sense to me.

"What is this?" I ask, waiting for the translation of everything. Akari doesn't move. "What?"

"Does Macy know you are here?"

I look at him softly. "Can we not talk about that right now?"

"Are you okay?" They look at me sincerely.

I pause for a second, gathering my thoughts. "I will be the sooner this is over," I say. "Come on, you can't do this to me. Just tell me what's going on in short."

"In short?" they echo. Akari's eyes turn dark, slightly dangerous. It takes me aback, this cold stare that's never been there before. "The Russians found a way to powderize the virus."

I tilt my head. "What?"

"It has been refined down to a microscopic powder. It makes it airborne and a lot more lethal. Goes in the air, you breathe it in, you die." My heart starts beating faster. Akari sighs, glancing down. "We said this bioweapon could not be fatal because people die too quickly to spread it. Now it does not need a host to spread."

"We need to find them," I say lowly. "Was there anything else you found?"

Akari scrolls through their notes. "Uh, that was all I got so far. There is still I have to finish. If I stay late, I can finish processing it today." I nod along listening.

"Agent Way?" I glance, seeing Hannah walking toward me. As if my mood couldn't worsen... I turn back to Akari but they don't look at me, typing on the computer. Thanks. "You're back already?" she asks, coming up to me.

I turn, looking at her. "Well, I'm here, aren't I?"

"Um, yes. But I was informed I wouldn't see you for a while."

"Interesting," I say, striding over back to my desk. Hannah follows me. Her hair is the same when I first met her. Down and loose and long. Nothing to tie it back, nothing pushing it out of the way. She's holding a file and a laptop with both hands, resting it against her chest. Strands of her hair tangled in her arms and clothes. And she's wearing an office suit, which is fine as most of the agents dress nicely. But she's also wearing heels. "Reeves, your shoes?" I comment.

She glances down. "What about them?"

I stare at her. "The heel?"

She looks at me confused and I raise an eyebrow at her. "They're only an inch," she states.

"You can't run in heels. And they're loud."

"Agent way, I can assure you I am aware of the dress code for this job and I am more than capable of keeping up to speed with everyone else. Do you question Agent Cassidy the same way you are with me?"

"Not her shoes because Macy wears flats."

"Do you not like me because I'm a girl?"

I close my eyes and lean my head back. Oh my god. "No," I say, holding my hand out as if I could physically grab patience to deal with her. "I never said I didn't like you and even if I didn't, it wouldn't be because you're a girl. My problem isn't that you are a girl. It's that you are inexperienced."

She closes her mouth, thinking. Her cheeks are slightly red and she averts her eyes from mine. "How do you expect any probationary agents to gain experience when senior agents like you prefer only agents with said experience already?"

"By becoming an addition to the team like they usually do. Not making you a replacement."

"But... I'm-what?" she says confused.

"What?" I repeat.

"Replacement?" She narrows her eyes at me. "Who am I replacing?" I falter, looking at her softly. She doesn't know? Hannah stares back at me confused. "What's with the look?" I don't answer her. "Go back to being salty, you're freaking me out."

"They-didn't tell you," I whisper. I don't know what to say or if I should say anything. I was never mad at Hannah directly. I was mad at Shaw. But I can't take my anger out at Shaw. From where I stand, he's untouchable. But Hannah is my equal so my anger only effects her. I thought she was too oblivious to understand why. Now I see it's not her fault she doesn't know.

Hannah glances down. "They said you, Analysts Ito, and Agent Cassidy had a case but the trajectory has escalated. I would be a good addition and it would be good for you to have a partner." I stare at her, waiting to see how smart she actually is. "They said you guys needed another agent."

"Yeah," I whisper sharply.

Click. Her eyes widen and mouth parts. I grimace a smile at her. "The...memorial announcement for the agent." I sit on the edge of my desk and sigh. "Agent...um."

"Agent Brendon Urie," I say softly, the taste of his name is heavy on my tongue. She nods her head as the name registers. "He was my partner since I was a probationary agent. And I knew him before the agency. He was my best friend."

"I'm sorry," she whispers. "They never...and I didn't think they'd just...it was the day before. I thought it was a coincidence." she trails off.

"Yeah," I say. "You figured there'd be a grace period."

"I'm sorry, Agent Way," she says again.

I sigh. "Cut the formality, it's a waste of time." She looks at me slightly surprised. I point to myself. "Gerard is a much faster way to get my attention. Or be like Macy and call me-"

"Way."

Her voice sharply cuts the air and fight or flight kicks in. "Oh god," I slide off my desk and scurry to my chair when I hear her voice. Hannah glances at me surprised. I hop in my chair, sitting back. Yeah, that was a good plan of escape.

Macy stands in front of my desk, looking at me. "Go home," she says kindly but still firm.

"Um, see, I just got here," I say lightly, "I'd find that to be a waste of gas."

"And overstraining yourself would be a waste of a good agent," she says. I grumble, glancing down but not getting up. "You need to take leave. You're not doing well."

"How about we contact the doc?" I say, interlocking my hands and resting them on my lap. "Take another shot at that eval. It's been a week."

"Reeves, can you give us a moment," she says. Hannah nods, heading off towards Brendon's desk. "You need to grieve," she says gently.

"I did," I say, swallowing. She looks at me unmoving. "You sent me home last week, I can't take it anymore. It's been long enough."

"A week isn't long enough for you. He was your partner. And you were there. You need to let yourself heal."

I try to upkeep a playful attitude but my lip trembles and my voice breaks. "Mace, you got to let me do something," I beg. I look at her wide-eyed and she looks at me sympathetically. She's not surprised to see me like this. She's just sorry she has to. "I can't...I need a distraction or I'm going to go crazy. Staying home is making it worse."

"And how is coming in going to help? What good is the distraction is it's only prolonging-"

"I don't know," I say. She stops. "I don't know, Macy. I don't know if being here is going to help me. But I know going home makes me feel like I'm doing nothing. Brendon's dead and if you send me home, that means I'm doing nothing about it. And-mmm," I cut myself off as I realize it's getting harder to focus. I grit my teeth and tightly press my lips together, trying to ease my breathing.

Macy comes to my side but I fixate on the ground. I don't need her seeing my eyes dazing out. She places a hand on my shoulder and I flinch. "This goes to show you shouldn't be here. And he wouldn't want you here like this either." I exhale as I get my sight back to normal. "Go home, Gerard."

I head back to my place, letting the rest of the day waste away. Brendon's killer is still out there getting away. And I can't do anything about it. I didn't do anything when I was there. I'm don't want to keep waiting. Towards the evening, I can't stay alone anymore. I call Frank, asking to hear about his day. His voice makes me feel better, hearing about his wonderfully normal life. The friends he's making at the office, the new events they're planning to attend. It's all something he's passionate about and he's pursuing it. He's so normal in more ways than I could ever comprehend.

I ask Frank if he wants to go get dinner and he agrees. We meet up an hour later, heading out. The day isn't a complete waste I guess. Frank notices though I'm still having a hard time. He offers his company and I gladly accept.

It's almost midnight when we finally leave my living room from watching television and talking. We start getting ready for bed. "Hey, um, Gerard?" Frank says as he steps out of the bathroom, switching the light off.

"What's up?" I ask. I set my phone down on the nightstand and look up at him with a smile.

Frank awkwardly walks over to me. "Do you have trouble sleeping?"

My face freezes and I blink a few times to respond. "It's nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, but that's the thing. I do worry. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Frank. Can we just go to sleep?"

"Are you going to sleep? Or sleep soundly?" he asks. "It sounded like you weren't breathing and..." He trails off.

"It just happens," I sigh

"What? That...that is not the type of thing that just happens," he says.

I narrow my eyes and he looks at me worried. He cares too much. I love him for that but it's also a problem. "I have sleep apnea."

"Oh," he mumbles. "Have you seen any-"

I roll my eyes, groaning. "It's not a big deal," I say. "Can we just go to bed? Please, it's been a long day and just want it over with."

"I just don't think you should keep this up," he says. He leans on the bed, looking at me closer. "You can't just keep everything bottled up anymore. I want to help you. If you-" My phone starts vibrating on the nightstand. I glance over, seeing Akari's name popping up. Why are they calling me this late? "You'll listen to them more than me?" Frank mutters. I glance back at Frank. "I'm trying to talk to you and you're not listening.

"I am," I say. I grab the phone off the nightstand and dismiss it. "Look, it's not my fault they called. I didn't ask. It's just work."

"Work?" Frank scrunches up his nose as he ponders. "This late?"

"I don't know," I mutter. I toss the phone down on the bed and it tumbles on the blanket toward the center of the mattress. I rub my face with both hands sighing.

His eyes trail down. "How is work?" he asks.

"Huh?" I mutter, sliding my hands over my mouth.

"I mean, after everything that's happened, all the...tragedies, how are things?"

I lower my hands and flick my eyes at him. "We're getting by. It's just..." The phone starts buzzing again. I glance down, seeing Akari's name again. Frank reaches over and grabs the phone. "NO!"

Frank freezes up, holding the phone petrified. I crawl on the bed towards his side. Frank glances down at the screen. "Akari?" he mutters.

"Give me the phone," I say with my hand reaching out.

Frank looks up at me and his eyes widen. He takes a small step back, "You look...pale."

"Frank, please, just give me the phone." I shake my hand but he doesn't move.

"What's going on?" he asks, taking another step back.

"Honey-"

"Tell me what's going on!" he yells. The phone stops buzzing and I take a breath. "Are you hiding something from me?"

I soften up. "Do... you think I'm cheating on you?" I whisper.

"I don't know," he whispers. I look at him hurt. Something stings me inside. Sure, I'm a liar and a killer. I'm a monster. But Frank doesn't know that. At least, I thought he didn't. I don't know where the suspicion is coming from. "I don't know what to think because you won't explain."

The stinging gets worse and turns into a panic. But just suppress it like everything else. Frank is the one good and pure thing I have in my life. The only honest thing about myself, which is sad because it's filled with lies. But what's completely honest is everything I feel for him. I know it's all real. "I swear, I am not," I say. "I love you and only you." Frank glances down and hands me my phone back. I take it and relief spreads through me. "Let's just go to bed," I say. It starts buzzing again and Frank looks at me. I answer it. "Stop calling," I grumble. "It's late."

"No, I finished the-" I hang up before they can finish. I'm on leave today. I'll go in tomorrow and get caught up on the case until Macy finds me and sends me home again.

The phone rings again but I rip the back off and take the battery out. It immediately shuts off. I look at Frank. "As I was saying."

The two of us shut off the lights and lay down. Frank lays close to me, resting his head on my chest. I smile to myself as I close my eyes, holding him next to me. It barely feels like I fell asleep when I'm woken up.

A crash echoes through the walls and I sit up. Frank moves back too, rubbing his eyes. "What was-" I cover his mouth and grab him, rolling to the other side of the bed and onto the floor. Frank heavily breathes as I keep him down. I slowly let go of his mouth. "Oh god, are there robbers?" he mutters.