I wake up immediately looking around sweating seeing that I was now in a hospital.

"SHES AWAKE" Demetrius screamed as I seen dried up tears on his face and my momma ran over towards me crying.

"WHERES JAYMAR" I screamed as Demetrius put his head down and began crying even more.

"Pleaseee where is he pleaseee" I begged for an answer as I began crying again and having flashbacks of what happened with my dad.

I stayed under my bed seeing the men walk into my room with my daddy bleeding from his leg as he was at gunpoint.

"Yo daughter in hea ain she, she finna see you die"

"Nigga fuck y-" my daddy said right before they blew his brains out and rushed out of my room.

I crawled from under my bed and just seen my daddy laying there bleeding from his head, lifeless.

I just sat there and stared feeling my heart break into a million peices.

Why would he leave me like that? Did he not care about me?

Why couldn't he just leave the streets alone maybe he would still be here with me.

"Im sorry maam but he passed away on the scene" A docter told to me. My whole expression just changed and I just sat there with a plain look on my face. Feeling my heart break once again.

It happened all over again

"Maam we need you to stay calm. Did you know your 2 weeks pregnant?" The docter said and Demetrius shot his eyes at me.

"Yo- you what?" Demetrius asked in disbelief as his eyes got big.

"Yea I found out this morning" I mumbled as I put my head down feeling a tear fall from my face.

"You gon keep the baby right?" He asked me with a look of concern.

I nodded my head yes before asking if everybody could leave.

"Bu-" Demetrius said.

"Just cmon" My momma said pulling him into a hug and walking him out. I felt him still stare at me as I he walked out.

"Now maam since you have been put under alot of stress lately your baby could be at risk of surviving so we'll just need you to stay here for a few days okay?" She told me and I just nodded my head as she walked out.

I just laid in the hospital bed not allowing anyone to come visit me. Thinking about Jaymar and my dad.

The only two dudes I have ever loved died right infront of me

"YOU SEE DIS RIGHT HEA THIS ALL MINES"

"Stop acting like youn miss a nigga"

"I love you Riah fareal"

"FOR LIFERS"

"Ian gon eva leave you. Ight?"

"Hey baby girlllll"

"RiRi cmonn lets go get some icream"

"Daddy loves you okay always remember that"

"MOMMY" I looked down at my son as he brought me back to reality.

"Yea Jazion" I answered picking him and giving him kisses on his face.

"You okay mommy?" He askes me giving me a kiss on my cheek.

"Mommys fine" I answered.

"Can we go to the park? The one you- you and daddy went too" He asked.

"Yes love we can cmon lets get your shoes"

"OU OU can we bring uncle Demmy and Jammy and Cousan A" He asked as he I grabbed one of his shoes and put them on his feet.

"Yes my love we can you wanna call them? Lets go get my phone so we can call them"

I was now 21 and my son had just turned 3 last month. I lived in a studio apartment and was now a real estate agent like I wanted. So I guess everything worked out..I guess.

"Wassup sis" Adrien said answering the phone.

"Where you going?" I asked him seeing him in his car.

"Finna go to my girl crib why watchu need? And where my luh cousin at"

"IM WHITE HEAAA HII" Jazion screamed as he popped his head up in my phone.

"Wassssuupp big mannnn" Adrien said smiling at his phone.

"Wanna go to duh park" Jazion asked.

"Sorry big man I can't me and you can go tomorrow promise" Adrien said causing Jazion to frown and then smile again and nod.

"Ok imma talk to you later" I said.

"Ight be safe I love you" Adrien said before I said the same and hung up.

"Ok we finna call Demmy"

"Okii" Jazion said playing with his toy on the floor.

"Mommyyy He keep eating my fooodd" Jazion whined because Demetrius kept snatching his tater tots.

We had just left the river walk and decided to go out to eat.

"Oww bi- I mean women ian cho child" Demetrius said trying to watch his language after I popped His hand causing me and James to chuckle as we continued to eat our food.

"How you been?" James askes me.

"Fine" I answer letting out a big sign.

"Always lyin" He said looking at me like he knew I wasn't telling the truth.

"I have been fine honestly"

"Uhunnn she did that thingy again uncle Jemmy" Jazion said talking about me zoning out.

I zone out, randomly now, just having flashbacks of Jaymar and my Dad.

"Riah I told yo-" James said before I cut him off.

"Im fine okay dang"

"Ight mane" He said continuing to eat his food.

"Snitch" I mouthed at Jazion before getting up and going to bathroom before he stuck his tongue out at me making both of us laugh.

I walk to the bathroom and pull my phone out to text Jaymar.

ILoveYou...

@2:15am

Your son is beautiful I named him Jazion

@3:15am

I still have dreams of me and you

@4am

Me and Demetrius nem are out eating with your son rn..I love you sm wish you were

@3:35pm

"I just wanna hear yo voice one mo time Jaymar" I said crying in the bathroom stall.

I dry my tears and walk back out with a smile on my face.

"You know Alana and her boyfriend just moved ta Texas" Demetrius told me as I sat down at the table.

"Ohhh they did thats so good for them im so happy they got married"

"Did you and daddy ever wanna get married?" Jazion asked causing all of us to go silent.

"Thats a good question we never brought it up"

"Did you guys love each other"

"Yea...Very much" I answered kissing him in his cheek causing him to give me a slight smile.

"Lets go on up to the mall yall" James said as the waiter came and grabbed out empty plates.

"YAYYY THE MALL" Jazion screamed.

"YEAA THE MALL" Demetrius screamed after him casuing me and James to shoot a look at them making both them laugh.

I get into my car, Jazion gets into the car with Demetrius and James gets in his own car and we all drive up to the mall.

"I need you dun dun dun and I miss you dun dun dun" I began playing A thousand miles while singing along with a smile on my face as I rememberes the time Jaymar drunk ass started singing that shit to me.

"Aye excuse maam can you get my sons toy for me its by yo foot" I was in footlocker with Jayvion looking a the kids shoes when I look over and see a tall darksin with long dreads asking me to pick his sons toy up.

"Thank you" he said and I nod at him.

"Jazion cmere" I told him as I seen him and the mans son talking to each other.

"Hell nah thats cute" The dude says with a smile showing his white pearly teeth.

"Shole is" I responded.

"How old is yo son?"

"3. Whatta bout yours?"

"4" He answered and I nodd my head as I bend over to pick up Javion.

I look over and see the man staring at me licking his lips.

"Whats yo na-" I cut him off as I walked out the store.

"Mommy why you leave? I wanted shoes" Jazion asked with a sad face.

"Baby I'll getchu some shoes another time okay" I told him and he just nods his head smiles.

"Aye riah we ova hea" James says as I walk towards the food court and sit at the table with them.

"Why this man just tried to get my number"

"Did you get it?"

"No I left before he could say anything" I answered seeing Jazion being picked up by Demetrius.

"Girl if youn getchu a man yo lonley as- butt" Demetrius said causing me to look at him like he was crazy.

"You done lost yo mind, when you get yo mind you call me" I said getting up and walking towards the bathroom, hearing him begin to laugh.

I can't love another man, I refuse.

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