😭😭

Yeah I said I was gonna beat up Jared when I got out of jail, and I didn't because...actually I don't have a reason to not kicked his ass for talking all that shit, I really could've showed him.

Anyway, today awhile after Jahseh and Stokeley left for therapy, Jared had texted me. Mind you, Jared and I barely text out of the group chat if he's not talking shit and we're going back and forth. It's more of a group chat type thing, we never take it "outside" of it per se.

So he texted me and said something like,

🥠

It really caught me off guard because this imbecile and I never speak about anything else except how much we don't really fuck with each other. I replied,

🥠

🥠

🥠

🥠

🥠🖕🏿

I mean I could get out for once, especially if he's gonna pay for my shit. I'm kind of being mean though, I should just pay for my own. He told me not to text him so I just was gonna pay for it when we got there.

Fast forward after this nigga Jahseh yells out, "Make sure to use a condom!" Loud as hell, had the whole lot looking at us.

"Of course Jah would say that." I said scoffing while entering the passengers side of Jared's car. "That's Jahseh for you. Bold as ever." Jared responds.

"What movie are we going to that you need me to go with you?" I asked him.

"The best fucking movie ever, nigga."

He says pulling out the lot.

"And that is?"

"The grinch." He says.

"What are you? 5? You really wanna be over here, a whole 24 year old, watching a kids movie?"

"Shut the fuck up, dingus, who the fuck cares."

"I care, fuck face."

"Well...nobody gives a fuck you care." He responds. "Anyway, you're a psychic now?" He says switching the topic.

"I'm not a psychic." I respond.

"Yeah you are, with all that forehead you got." He says looking over at me.

"Shut up, bitch, that's why you're about to run a red light."

As soon as I said that he forcefully steps on the breaks, stopping just in time. Plus his dumbass wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

"Stupid ass, why aren't you wearing a seatbelt?" I said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. And I'm not stupid." He responds, fastening his belt.

Yes you fucking are. We just lost someone, I don't need to lose anyone else." I said.

"Awe, you care about me?" He responds.

"Yeah, while I'm in the same car. If you go, that means I do too. And that ain't it. I'll never get to beat your ass."

"You don't ever want to want to hurt me, I'm too cute." He says.

"Yeah you cute or whatever bitch, but you're annoying as hell." I said. All he did was chuckle and keep driving.

This dude is so weird, and he acting mad weird. Whatever. I haven't watched a movie in a while, and I'm not so close with Jared so this might just be a win win for me.

We make it to the theatre and there's literally nobody.

"What the fuck." I said getting out the car.

"What?"

"There's no one here." I said.

"And bitch? Does there need to be anyone here?" Jared says.

"Can you watch your fucking attitude, pipsqueak?"

I don't know why this kid is giving me all the attitude today, but he need to chill. He gets up in my face,

"The fuck you gonna do about it? We can fight right here." He says.

"The fuck is your problem? You kid." I honesty have no time for this malarkey. I push him out the way and walk to over to the ticket stand, Jared following being me. "And I'm paying for my own ticket."

"Nigga didn't I say I was bout to pay for you?" Jared says.

"You did, but I can pay for myself. You don't need to waste your money on me." I said. I make it to the salesperson, it's a girl. I don't know about you, but this girl was fine as fuck. Maybe I could pay for this ticket so it don't look like I have to depend on my homies for everything. You know, so I don't look too broke, you feel me.

I told her the movie I was going into, and I was just about to shoot my shot. Just as I was bout to pay, this nigga Jared bring his heavy ass and push me out the way like we in the NFL or something. Who does he think he is? Marshawn Lynch? Tom Brady? Rob Gronkowski? Why the hell does he need to push me that hard?

He goes over and pays for me and him both, gets our tickets and pulls me over to enter the theater.

"Boy, did you see that fine ass female? You messed up my chance of getting with her." I said.

"She was ight. We can get back to her when we leave. You want food?" He offers.

"Nah, we gonna miss the movie. We can get food later." I said. The cinema we were assigned to go to was 17, which was in the back of the theater.

We made our way into the cinema, expect there to at least be a bunch of bad ass kids but to my surprise, there was nobody in the this theater. We came in just in time for the movie because it's starting. I like to sit in the back but I'm not trying to busy my face because it was so dark.

"Why are you walking so slow?" Jared says.

"It's dark obviously." I said.

"Here." He says before grabbing my wrist and helping me to the top back of the theater. This nigga is strange.

Anyway, after that we take our seats and the bullshit ass movie starts, for a while there's no dialogue between us.

The movie is actually kind of enjoyable, I thought it'd be dumb it's not that stupid.

"You're actually enjoying this bullshit?" Jared says hitting me on the shoulder.

"I might as well, dork." I said hitting him back.

"Stop fucking hitting me, Jared says hitting me once again.

"You hit me first, you queer."

"Don't mean you need to hit me back." He says.

We go back and forth for a little bit, since it's too dark we can barely see each others faces but just enough. But I know he can see me well enough, he ends up hitting his head on the bridge of my nose. Last time I felt this much pain was in jail when Tay stabbed his fork on my asscheek on "accident."

"Oh shit, I'm sorry." Jared says holding head head and getting in my face. I could feel is breath graze across my lips.

"Why are you so close? Damn." I said.

"WhY ArE YoU So CLoSe? DaYuM." He says, mocking me, then laughing like what he said was even the slightest bit funny.

"Why are you always getting on my nerves?" I asked.

"Because." He simply answers.

"Because isn't a reason." I said.

"It is." He says softly.

I rolled my eyes, "You're weird."

"You're the psychic, you're weirder." He responds, at this point I can feel how close he is to my face.

And then suddenly, bam. His lips against mine. I don't know what came over me, but I just gave into the kiss.

I don't know what came over me, it was all so sudden. I've never even kissed a guy before, but a mouths a mouth.

And no, Tay and I have never done none of that sus shit, that was autocorrect. I didn't eat his ass, he didn't eat mine. I'm just setting that straight.

I let it go on for a little bit but I pulled away.

"Wait. Stop." I said, thinking about what had just happened.

"W-What? What's wrong?" Jared asks.

"Nothing. Nothing..it's just- it's nothing. Let's just finish the movie." I said.

There was not very much left of the movie, I don't know how long we were making out but it was for a fat majority of the movie.

The movie ends and the lights come on. I can't even look Jared in the eye the same anymore. Like, I kissed him. He kissed me. We made out, I made out with a guy. My friend.

The food that we had planned earlier to go get was obviously cancelled, and we both knew that. It was dark out anyway. We knew where to go, we didn't need to say anything to each other on the way though. The whole car ride was silent, the only thing that you might've been able to hear was our thoughts. And the trash the radio plays nowadays.

If you remembered, all of us live in the same apartment complex, or close by. That's why we all hang out or see each other so frequently. Jared didn't live near Jahseh though, he lived near Stokeley, who was the opposite way of Jahseh's place so it wasn't like I had to walk with him back.

We make it back home, and he parks the car. We sit in silence. Neither one of us got out. I know I was supposed to get out, we're home. But I just didn't.

"Thank you, Jared. For tonight, and you know. Paying for everything." I said.

"Oh..oh yeah. Of course...sorry I stopped you from getting that girl's number." He says.

I chuckled, "It's fine. She wasn't that bad anyway, I realized."

He laughs softly in response before sighing. It goes back to an awkward silence.

"Kim, I'm sorry about the kiss-"

"It's fine. Can we just not..talk about that? Please?" I said. He sighs and nods,

"Yeah..I was just about to suggest that." He says.

"Alright, thanks man...goodnight, Jared, thank you again for hanging out with me today, I really do appreciate it." I said.

"Yeah, of course. Night, Kim." He says.

I smile and get out the car as fast as I could but not making it obvious I wanted to get out the situation. I start my way over to Jah's place when I look back at Jared. He looks like he's on the phone with someone. I think nothing of it.

I open the door and see Jahseh sitting on his phone at the dining room table. I honestly don't even want to talk right now.

"Hey, Kim. Back so soon?" Jahseh says.

"Goodnight, Jahseh, i'll talk to you in the morning. I love you." I said quickly closing the door and running upstairs to my room and locking myself in it.

I got a lot of thinking to do. The next time I see Jared is going to be the most awkward shit of my life. And I might be gay.

Well, I can't just assume I'm fully gay, I might be bisexual, which is alright I guess, I'll still be attracted to girls. But Jared? I've known Jared for a long ass time, and I've never had any sort of feelings towards him, mostly because we barely, excuse me, RARELY had a conversation with each other. I still am so confused on how this is all real right now. Whatever, it's just a kiss, people always kiss their friends, it's no big deal and I shouldn't be overthinking this.