The sweltering heat melted my brain. My broken mind fought off the triggers that sat watching my day to day life, preparing to pounce when it has the chance.

My oblivious parents decided to go to the beach this summer - a living nightmare. I didn't know how my damaged mentality would cope. The wat- The water-- No, I could do this.

The grainy, soft sand tickled my toes as we traversed the busy beach to find the 'perfect' spot. Children with ice-creams of many colours passed us, running with their friends and family. I kept to the left, subconsciously avoiding that, avoiding my horror.

Once we sat down on the green and red tartan beach mat, my fragmented brain wandered into dangerous territory, and the dark shadow of my trepidation towered over me. I watched as my eyes glazed over, and my mind pushed me into the back seat to relive last summer.

Panic began to rise. My arms and legs flailed about, trying to force water to push me up, above the danger. My ankle strained against the seaweed wrapped around it. The urgency to breathe was torturous, and as I clawed at my throat, the will to live began to leave.

Begrudgingly, my mouth pried itself open, and the evil water rushed in, filling my lungs. They burned like hot lava, and my chest felt as though it was dancing on scolding coals. The pressure built up, constricting the movement of my panic-induced swimming. My mind swam with incomplete hopes and dreams as I released myself to the mercy of the dark depths.

I was so tired; tired of life, tired of people, tired of fighting. It was not long before my body gave up trying; before my limbs stopped moving; before my lungs could not breathe. I was suffocating in the place I felt was more like home than anything, and it was terrifying. It was utter agony to stay awake.

The cold of the surrounding water seared my delicate eyes as they unconsciously opened, blinking rapidly. My blurred vision saw nothing but blue darkness, and while it was scary, it felt so peaceful. I would not have to worry anymore. Maybe this was the way I was supposed to go, to leave this ball of fire and destruction. The flow of my realising thoughts broke as something released my ankle and grabbed my heavy arms and started to pull.

Gah!

Tears streamed down my face, and the sky began to cry with me. Sandcastles were liquified. Beach-goers screamed as the downpour sped up, and my parents dragged me to the cover of an umbrella.

My breathing quickened, and my heart pained as memories of that day resurfaced, and my mind broke again.