Mom and Dave manage to get Sal and Erin to stay for a hot drink. Sal politely requests tea, Erin agreeing that she'll have what he's having. Mom boils the kettle and Dave gets a packet of custard creams out to offer to them. They haven't told about the boy yet, something that I'm incredibly thankful for because Mom would actually kill me.

"I'm so sorry about Eve," Mom says. "I don't know what's gotten into her, normally she's so good."

I want to start crying at that. I'm not even that drunk. I'm home safe. I didn't go any further with that guy. I am a good girl. When I'm not making murder deals and lying to the police.

"It's no trouble," Sal says.

"I was so much worse at that age," Erin adds with a sad smile. "She's a good girl, I wouldn't worry about her too much."

A good girl who made a murder deal which killed two people and ruined the lives of countless others, myself included. A very good girl, right? The best.

"I want to go to bed," I whisper to Dave.

"You don't want tea? Or a biscuit?"

No I don't want a fucking biscuit as you all discuss the poor choices I made tonight.

I shake my head. "I just want to go to sleep. Please, Dave."

"I'll take her," Mom offers, setting the kettle down. "You handle the tea, darling."

Mom takes me upstairs and helps me as i clumsily dress into my pyjamas. My hands are shaking for some reason or maybe that's just my spinning head.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly, getting into bed. "I'm so so sorry."

Mom sits down on my bed, stroking my hair. "Losing Josh really did hit you hard, huh? I'm sorry, Eves. But you can't go around getting messed up so close to your exams. You've worked so hard for them."

There are tears in her eyes. I'm making Mom cry. My mom who raised me while juggling two jobs and getting her degree. My mom who fought my deadbeat dad hard for those child support cheques. My mom who missed out on all her twenties and late teens for me, who never complained is crying because of me.

So I start crying too. "Mom, don't cry." I sit up and pull her into a hug.

"I love you, Eves," she whispers. "And I know this is hard, but you're strong, okay? So so strong. You can do this. We can do this, okay?"

"I love you, Mom."