It took Vikram twenty days to learn how to swim. Well it would have taken fewer days but Vikram chickened out once before he actually began, then once when Aditya taught him to float and then once more before he taught Vikram to front crawl.

Coming back to the lake during school hours would be risky so they went every day after school and once Aditya would give Vikram the lessons for the day and after he was done practicing, both would just climb back to the dry land and just lie there until it was time for Aditya to get to work for his shift.

"Gaurav's planning on introducing new menu." Aditya said. "I think this time it's Greek."

Vikram laughed. "Just don't make him talk in Greek."

Aditya smiled. Gaurav was an amazing cook, not as skilled in languages, unfortunately.

"I've been meaning to ask..." Aditya said on the last day after they were done swimming and sat by the trees. "What did you tell Gaurav when he saw me with you guys at his house the first time around?"

Vikram let out an involuntary pout while scrunching his eyebrows, trying to recall what Aditya was talking about.

"You know..." Aditya said, "When Shruti said that I was in the same class as yours."

"Oh!" Vikram let out and gave a light laugh, shaking his head.

Aditya looked at him in amusement, waiting for Vikram to answer.

And then, he found out.

"I told him Shruti was Schizophrenic," Vikram said and began laughing. "I told him she is delusional and thinks you're in the same class as ours."

Aditya looked at the way Vikram was laughing, clutching his stomach and falling to his side. "And you know the best part?"

Aditya shook his head, still unable to take his eyes off Vikram.

"Gaurav believed me and..." Vikram took a pause to breathe and began laughing again, "and said that he could always tell there was something wrong with her brain."

This made Aditya chuckle. "That's not nice." he said, despite the fact that he was laughing too.

"I know!" Vikram said, rubbing the tears off his eyes. "But I panicked and the book on schizophrenia was literally just sitting on the counter, waiting for me to take advantage of."

Aditya shook his head, a smile playing up his face. "You're crazy." he said.

Vikram laughed more. "You should have seen Ruvee's face. She looked like she'd cry."

The smile on Aditya's face suddenly disappeared upon hearing Ruvee's name.

"We should go back." he said in a stern tone.

"Aditya..." Vikram said, sensing the shift on his face and the tone of his voice. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Aditya said, turning away from Vikram.

He was about to get up when Vikram grabbed his hand and forced him to stay put. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I told you nothing is wrong. It's getting late. We have to get back."

"No!" Vikram said. "I am not going anywhere till you tell me what happened."

Aditya rubbed his hand on his face and turned to look at Vikram.

"Do you really not know what is wrong?" he asked.

Vikram had no idea what Aditya was talking about.

He shook his head.

"Then there is nothing to talk about, I guess." he said and began getting up but Vikram wouldn't have it. He grabbed Aditya's arm and pulled him down, making him stagger and little closer than he was before.

"Just tell me what it is."

Aditya sighed. "I already have." he said, "I told you the night I said I would break up with Shruti."

Vikram tried to recall the conversation. He remembered Aditya had said that he was planning to break up with Shruti before she went on the vacation. He remembered he had asked why and he remembered Aditya had told him that...

"You like Ruvee?" Vikram asked suddenly.

Aditya's eyes widened in response. "What?"

"Is that why you have been angry since you found out we've been dating?"

"Wow!" Aditya said. "Is that what you made of it; that I like Ruvee?"

Vikram was confused. He didn't understand what Aditya meant to say. "Is it not Ruvee?" he asked. "Then who is it?"

"Do I have to really spell it out for you?" Aditya asked, looking away again "Or are you asking me because watching me suffer is fun?"

Aditya was angry again. His jaw clenched so tight, Vikram could feel the tension on his own skin.

"Aditya..." Vikram said and he witnessed it happen. On more than one occasion, Vikram had seen Aditya's anger melt in front of him. He had seen his face soften and the anger pour out but he had never been able to figure out why it happened. But this time, Vikram believed he found out. He just had to test it.

"Aditya..." Vikram said again and suddenly, all of Aditya's barriers came crashing down. He melted at the sound of his name in Vikram's voice.

And then, it all made sense.

"Did you mean me?" Vikram asked.

This time, when Aditya looked into his eyes, Vikram saw more than just the color that had intoxicated him. He found the softness that Aditya usually kept hidden. He found the vulnerability Aditya never showed the world. He saw the innocence that only a few had witnessed.

And sitting there, looking at Vikram, Aditya looked so fragile, that Vikram thought he might break on touch.

Something stirred in Vikram's heart when he saw Aditya like that, ready to give his everything for Vikram to take.

And so, Vikram took.

Placing his hand on the side of Aditya's face, Vikram pulled Aditya near until Aditya's lips softly met his own.

Aditya sat frozen and for a brief second, Vikram thought he had made a huge mistake.

But then, Aditya parted his lips and kissed Vikram back.

It was in that moment that Vikram left the entire universe coursing through his veins because kissing Aditya was like touching the stars and burning with the sun and running at the speed of a million miles per hour. It was like the first rain of the season and everything they wrote songs about. To Vikram, kissing Aditya was the only right thing he had ever done.

Vikram had always thought of himself as matter, floating across space, aimless and lost. And here with Aditya, Vikram believed that if he was scattered matter, then Aditya was gravity, pulling all of him together, in one place, giving his existence a meaning.

A thunder cracked across the sky, suddenly making Vikram jump back a little. Aditya's eyes were still closed and his lips were still parted from the kiss that Vikram had broken.

He opened his eyes and Vikram felt like the thunder might have just struck him instead of landing somewhere random because he could feel the intensity of a thousand electric bolts running through his body.

Such was Aditya's kiss. It was the thunder and the lightning and everything that made the world dance.

"Vikram..." Aditya whispered suddenly.

Vikram froze, breaking free from the world he had temporarily stepped into. What had he done? How could he have done that?

Vikram lurched back.

Aditya reached out. "Vikram!" he said, suddenly sensing the panic in Vikram's eyes.

Tears began forming in them as Vikram came back to the stark reality of life. He got on his foot and stumbled back, trying to get away from Aditya. Vikram had just kissed another boy and no matter how much he tried to reason with himself, he couldn't understand why he had done that. He had a girlfriend for fuck sake.

"Vikram, listen to me..." Aditya said, trying to reach him but before he could, Vikram turned and ran, as far away from Aditya as possible.

Math problems. That was the only solution Vikram could think of. He did not have the courage to think about the kiss, so when he rushed back home, Vikram decided that it was better not to.

And math could help.

The truth was, Vikram was scared, of what he had done and what the implications could be of that. What if anyone found out? What if the entire school found out? He would be mocked and bullied and the teachers would hate him and then his parents and his brother would find out and they would disown him and he would have to live on the streets with no educational degree and no career plan and would be reduced to begging to survive...

"Calm down." Vikram told himself. "No one is disowning anyone."

But was he sure? What if Aditya told someone?

Vikram shook his head. No, Aditya wasn't like that. But what if he was?

"Stop it!" he yelled at himself, only to realize that he sounded like a madman.

No one knew, and no one ever would. It was a mistake. Just one small mistake. It would not happen again and it didn't mean anything needed to be changed. Ruvee was still his girlfriend and he was still very, very much into her.

But the kiss...

It was electrifying and exhilarating and liberating and Vikram had never felt more like himself than he did in those few seconds when Aditya's lips were smacking against his own.

Vikram, in a terrifying shock, realized that his fingers were grazing his lips that still tingled with the remnants of Aditya's touch on them.

He shook his head. What was he even thinking?

He was dating Ruvee. And that was all that mattered. It wasn't like he liked Aditya the way he liked Ruvee. Vikram was sure he was just confused and Aditya looked so broken that Vikram couldn't help it. If anything, it was impulse. Because he had a girlfriend whom he was happy with.

She was one of the best people he had ever come across... but so was Aditya. To Vikram, they were both important and he didn't want to hurt either.

But he had already, hadn't he?

He had done something unforgivable and he didn't even know if Ruvee would forgive him.

Vikram tried to focus on math again. His eyes registered everything on the page of the book but his mind was somewhere else. It was back on Aditya.

The way he had looked and the way he had reacted to Vikram's touch, filled Vikram's senses in a way that had never been filled before. The way his heart soared when Aditya had kissed him back was still engraved in his memories and he wasn't sure if he wanted to let it go.

He wondered what it all meant. Vikram was sure he liked Ruvee a lot but Aditya... what he felt in that moment with Aditya was thrilling.

That's right, Vikram told himself. It was the thrill of the danger that had him feeling this way. The kiss, in all its glory, was still forbidden and that was what made it exciting. Because He had never done something like this before. He had never felt such emotions for another boy before, and that was what Vikram told himself. That it was just the thrill. That just because he kissed Aditya, didn't necessarily mean he was...

Vikram shook his head vigorously as the panic began to set in again. No, he was sure he was not gay. It was just a mistake. A small mistake. That didn't define him. That didn't mean anything. He was high on emotions and Aditya was vulnerable and it just happened. No one saw, no one had to find out and Vikram didn't have to address it.

He breathed in slowly, trying to calm down.

As long as he kept his mouth shut, no one had to find out. Especially at school. Or anywhere in the world. No one could find out because if they did, he'd be ostracized and Vikram knew he was not built to deal with that. Vikram wasn't built to face the world head on. He liked the small comfortable corner he lived in, unnoticed and unbothered by anyone. He didn't want anyone to break in. He didn't want to stand out, he just wanted to blend in and be invisible.

Vikram didn't want anyone to find out because he was terrified.

And so, he decided to keep it to himself.

It would all be fine as long as he avoided Aditya.

It was not easy. Aditya was everywhere, like he always was. But this time, even more so. He actively looked for ways to talk to Vikram alone but Vikram never gave in the chance.

He stopped coming to school earlier than required, just so Aditya wouldn't find in alone in the class or in the club. He stopped walking down the halls without Ruvee if he needed to go somewhere. If he had to go to the library, he'd always be around Mrs. Sengupta or find a seat at a table that was full of other students.

But that only lasted for a week.

A week later, Ruvee had to work extra hours for the monthly school newsletter and Vikram had taken more than usual time to pack his bag when suddenly, he realized that the class has already left for the day and the only other person in the class apart from him was Aditya.

"Can we talk, please?" Aditya said, turning around and walking to the last seat where Vikram was. The plea melted something in Vikram's heart but he fought it off.

"There is nothing to talk." he said and picked his bag up before walking past Aditya.

He had taken just a few steps when Aditya's hand grabbed him by the wrist and turned him around.

It was reflex, really, when Vikram jerked his hands away from Aditya. "Don't touch me!" Vikram shrieked.

Aditya immediately pulled his hairs in the air, like he was surrendering. "Okay, I promise I won't." he said, "But please, talk to me."

Vikram looked at Aditya, properly for the first time since that afternoon in the lake. He looked downtrodden and tired, like he hadn't been able to sleep for a week.

"You're avoiding me again!" Aditya said, "Did I do something wrong?"

How was this guy real? How was he still thinking that it was all his fault alone when Vikram was equally responsible for everything? Probably even more. The thought churned something in Vikram's stomach because all he wanted to do was throw the bag he was carrying away and rush to Aditya, claiming his lips again.

But he had told himself that once was already more than enough. And to top that, they were in school. What if someone saw them.

"Vikram." Aditya said, his name echoing through the room in waves. "Talk to me."

Vikram snapped himself out of it. "I told you there is nothing to talk about, Aditya."

"But the lake..."

Vikram closed his eyes and shook his head. "The lake was a mistake. Everything was a mistake. I was wrong. I shouldn't have tried to be your friend. I am not..." Vikram hesitated. "I am not like you. What happened, will never happen again."

"Vikram" Aditya said, taking a step closer to Vikram. A pang of fear rose inside of Vikram when he saw Aditya come closer.

He involuntarily took a step back.

When Aditya noticed that, he stopped.

"Are you... are you afraid of me?" Aditya asked and Vikram felt a knot in his throat that he wasn't able to swallow. Something strong rose inside his heart that was pain, mixed with dread.

When Vikram didn't answer, Aditya decided to take another chance. Slowly, he stepped one step closer to Vikram.

All Vikram could think about was the fact that whatever this was, was dangerously wrong. And he wasn't sure if he was ready to risk it all for one kiss.

Aditya took another step forward and Vikram snapped.

"Stay away from me, freak!" he said and suddenly realized what he had done. Vikram's hand flung to his mouth, unable to believe he had said that out loud.

Fuck, Vikram cursed in his mind. He knew he should apologize but when he looked at Aditya, something broke inside of him. Aditya stumbled backwards, with tears in his eyes that he was so excruciatingly fighting.

Vikram opened his mouth to say something, to tell him that he did not mean it but before he could, Aditya turned around and quickly left.

As Vikram watched him Aditya leave, he didn't quite understand why it was his heart that felt like it had broken.