Elle McBriar

August 3rd, 4 months and 22 days since the last zombie report

So, it's Alex's birthday. I managed to bake him a cake. And, he got the power working. Even though I was kidnapped again and shot, things still turned out okay.

But... I kissed Paxton and then I ignored him, completely. Then Paxton came in and kissed me and told me he's been wanting to kiss me forever so now I'm confused.

I have definitely caught feelings... I guess I'm just waiting for something, but I don't know what yet. Other than that, Paxton decided to merge our beds together for the time being.

Since we both got shot, he thought it'd be nice if we looked after each other. Aka, sleeping next to each other. I mean I'm not denying it, at all. It's just, a lot has happened and there's finally good things happening and I'm afraid I'm going to fuck everything up. Like I always do.

I closed my journal after the lead of my pencil snapped. I'll need to replace that.

It was so nice to have power again. I can go into the kitchen at night time and see what I'm doing! Speaking of power, Paxton came into 'our' room, currently. 

We were staying together for 3 reasons. 1, none of the boys want me screaming in the middle of night and waking everyone up. 2, Paxton won't let me leave and 3, I feel safer with him.

Riley's crib is sitting at the pack of Paxton's room, surrounded my boxes of weapons. 

He turned off the light and climbed onto his side of the bed, the mattress dipping and springing back up again. I didn't say anything. I haven't said anything to him since our 'moment' in the kitchen. What do I say? 

Thanks for kissing me? What'd you do that for? I'm so awkward when it comes to guys I'm developing feelings for. Maybe I'm hoping they go away, but I doubt they will.

I rolled over, so my back was facing him. I'm not trying to ignore him, I'm genuinely just tired and in lots of pain. My shoulder hurts from making that goddamn cake. I should've listened when Gage told me to leave the sling on. It was dark blue, like the ones they use in hospitals.

They don't match with any of my clothes!

Just because nobody is around to care or see what my clothes look like, doesn't mean I want to look ugly...

I heard Paxton sigh under his breath as the covers were pulled up slightly. I felt a slight tickle of his finger tips on the bare skin of my back as he traced them in small circles, I closed my eyes, falling deeper into a sleep. 

Once I was mostly deep in a slumber, I felt the bed shift. I stayed completely still, focusing on counting sheep in my head. Yes, it actually works. A heavy weight was shifted over my abdomen and I felt Paxton's fingers brush my stomach. I tensed up but relaxed before he noticed.

He nuzzled his head into my neck and I could smell his sweet cologne from here, "Please don't be mad at me." He said in the faintest whisper. 

* * * 

I felt well rested. My body was still sore but I didn't feel as drowsy as I did. I slowly opened my eyes as I was welcomed by darkness. A small ounce of sun peeking through. I glanced at my watch, nearly 6am.

I frowned, why am I awake at 6? I got even more upset as I realised Paxton was no longer beside me and wasn't hugging my anymore. Just once, I want to wake up next to a boy who is hugging me. Wishes are inevitable.

My barefeet touched the cold hardwood floor. I shivered slightly and wrapped my arms around myself. It didn't help I was only wearing a hoodie and shorts. I went to check on Riley, seeing his cute little face sound asleep. 

I yawned, opening the door as I looked down the hallway. Light filtered down it, but a light shining under the door of the bathroom caught my attention.

I walked over to it, trying the door handle. It was unlocked? Slowly pushing it open, I opened it even wider as I saw Paxton, shirtless, standing with his back to me, "Paxton?" I mumbled. He turned around so fast I got a fright, his eyes were wide, "What're you doing in here?" He asked, "I just woke up and you weren't there." I shrugged.

My eyes went to his hand, where he was holding his arm. "What did you do?" I ask, nodding to the bandage, he looked away, "Nothing." I stalked closer to him, "Paxton, what did you do." I said more firmly, staring him down. Finally, he broke. 

"I stretched before, but I did it too fast and then my arm started bleeding. I tried to fix it but it hurts." He said, embarrassed. I smiled shyly, "You could've woken me up, I don't mind helping you." I whispered. I removed his arm from his bicep, seeing a small patch of blood seeping through the bandage, "I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful." He said, "Is this dressing new?" I asked, "No. It's the old one." 

Paxton sat on the toilet seat as I gathered everything I needed for re-winding his arm. I peeled off the soaked through bandage and cleaned up the blood, apologising every time Paxton flinched.

I checked the stitches, replacing the gauze, taping it down before winding a full roll of bandage-cloth around his bicep. I held it in place with a safety pin and tape, kissing it better. Paxton smiled, "It feels so much better now." I giggled. 

I put the bloodied bandage in a trash bag hanging off the door and placed the rest of the supplies in a drawer. I kind of stood awkwardly on the cold tiled floor, waiting for the right words to come out of my mouth. Paxton held his hand out, I took it and he pulled me closer to him.

I stumbled forward as he laughed. Landing literally on top of him. I straddled his legs as he supported me by using his good arm to hold me in place. Our faces were extremely close. My breath hitched and Paxton looked down at my lips for a second, "By the way, I'm not mad at you." I whispered. He looked confused for a second before it clicked and he smiled, "You heard me?" He whispered back, I nodded. Paxton blushed and I poked his cheeks. He's so cute!

Paxton leaned in closer as did I, til our foreheads touched. I breathed in his scent, peppermint and body spray. God, he's melting me! 

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, I bit my lip, "Yes." 

So he did. His head moved ever so slow, torturing with me with his light chuckles and evil stares. Until his lips finally met mine and molded together like it was a perfect fit. I sighed into his mouth, tangling my arms together behind his neck as I pulled him closer. 

His hands went up my shirt as he fondled with the smooth skin, his arms rubbing up and down. The gesture was nice, like a massage. I tugged his hair and he groaned. Note too self, he likes that! I released my mouth from his, taking a short breath. I came out panting and was a bit embarrassed by my lack of kissing skills. I hope I'm not bad?

Paxton hungrily pulled my mouth back to his, his teeth biting my bottom lip as I shivered, God, he's good at this. I never want this to stop. But unfortunately for me, the baby started crying.

I groaned and Paxton whined, "Just forget him." He whispered, kissing down my neck, holy hell. I tilted my head back, the skin on my neck tingling from where he kissed me. He sucked on my neck and jawline, the sound of Riley's crying in my ear. I pushed off Paxton, his hands sliding off my thigh as I did so.

"I have to get him." I said, he nodded, obviously annoyed.

I went back into the room, picking up a crying Riley who miraculously stopped crying as he saw me, "Hello you little cock-blocker." I sighed, sitting him on my side as I walked into the kitchen, "Okay, what should we make your brother for his special birthday breakfast?"

* * * 

hii

i hope you're enjoying so far!!