Kathryn

A month and a half had gone by of me being neighbors with Casey Kings. Our friendship had grown as well as my attraction for her. And I guess you could say being in a relationship with someone else was only making it harder to be myself. I sigh as Emily places a cup of coffee in front of me. I glance up at the glaring blonde and take a sip of the drink.

"You seem bugged out" she states the obvious, sitting in front of me. I nod my head and lean back into my chair. I was bugged out. I was continuing a 5 year relationship with the man I thought was the love of my life and on the other hand I was attracted and fantasizing about a student who attends the school I work at.

My life is falling apart. "Want to talk about it?" Em questions with raised brows. With a sigh, I nod my head. I play with my fingers before glancing up to her crystal blues. "I like someone else" I mutter, "someone who isn't Thomas."

It seemed as though my confession had no affect on her. She didn't seem fazed at all and it kind of irritated me. I take a sip of my coffee just as she speaks. "Is it Casey?" The burning liquid travels down the wrong pipe and I cough roughly, trying to catch my breath. How the hell did she know I liked Casey? Was I that obvious? Did that mean others noticed it too?

Once I catch my breath, I eye the woman in front of me in confusion. She doesn't say anything, forcing me to agree with her accusations. I nod my head before placing it down onto the table. "You seriously have a thing for the worst people ever" she sighs. I whine out, knowing she was right. I did. I always had a bad habit of dating the worst people or being attracted to the worst.

But Casey was different. She wasn't a bad person, it was our situation that was bad. Had we met a different way, I'd have a different viewpoint about everything. "Well at least she's cute" Emily comments. I glance at my best friend with a glare.

Being attracted to people meant jealousy came along with it. And maybe I was jealous that she was calling Casey cute. Maybe. "Why do you like her I mean besides her good looks and being smart as hell..?"

I lean back into my chair as I think about Casey. "What's not to like about her? She's smart, beautiful, funny, she's got the prettiest smile. I just love her smile so much and her eyes are so distracting. Every time our skin touches, I feel this surge of electricity and warmth..." I ramble. My eyes meet Emily's, noticing her smile.

"What?" I question staring at her in question. I was utterly baffled by her expression. "You talk about her in a way I can't explain" she spits.

"Is that good?" I question. "It's amazing. But goddamn Kathryn! Why? Why did you have to talk this way about a student?"

"Excuse me?"

"I've been waiting for the longest for you to have that certain gleam in your eyes when you describe the person you love to me. I looked for it when you talked about Thomas or Erin or Gerald, and never did I see it."

I blush and scoff, "I-I don't love Casey. It's just a stupid crush" I wave it off. Emily frowns and shakes her head at me. "It's not stupid. The situation is just fucked up."

The sound of the front door opening, caught our attention. In came Sophia and Cane. They noticed the energy in the atmosphere and stared between the two of us, puzzled. Sophia sets her purse on the table and takes a seat beside her wife, placing a kiss on her cheek. Cane sat beside me with a warm smile.

"What were you two talking about?" Sophia questions, running her finger through Emily's blonde locks. Emily clears her throat and glances at me. We both knew lying would do us no good. We were practically communicating with our eyes before I speak up.

"My neighbor" I admit. They didn't have to know she was a student of Emily's. Cane glances at me, "What about them?"

"Kathryn here, thinks she has a slight crush on them."

I could practically feel Cane's frown as Emily admitted my secret. "Oh, what about Thomas?" Cane questions with sadness laced in her voice. "What about him? It's not like I'm going to cheat and I won't let my attraction for this person get the best of me."

"What's so special about this person anyways?" Cane questions obviously jealous that I liked someone who wasn't her. She's been trying to pursue a relationship with me since we were in high school. And I always overlooked her efforts, but as I've said before, Cane just isn't my type.

I actually like people of color. Never really been one for dating someone who considers themselves as Caucasian. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just had my preferences and standards.

"They're--"

"Why do you keep using the they/them pronouns?" Cane interrupted. I side glance my friend, "She" I say loudly. I kept saying they/them pronouns because I didn't want to indicate I liked a female. To them, I was strictly dickly. Never had I came off as bi-curious, bisexual, or anything that would mean I was attracted to women. Cane stared at me in disbelief.

"I've been trying to get with you way before you started dating Thomas, I've been patient and supportive and--" she paused and shook her head, "Kathryn are you serious right now?" I glance away from the upset woman. However, her electrifying eyes stayed glued to me. I couldn't answer her. I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"For a while I really thought that just maybe you were in fact straight and then you flirted with me, lead me on, started dating Thomas and now you like some other chick?"

"Cane" Sophia warns but the girl ignores her.

"What is it about me you just can't stand that you rather be with everyone else but me? I've been here as your friend for forever Kathy. All I ever asked from you was to give me a chance. But you'd rather date your cheating and lying boyfriend and have a crush on some neighbor you haven't known that long--"

"Jasabelle" Emily spits grabbing her attention. She was fuming. But I couldn't find it in me to feel sympathetic. She was kinda at fault. No one told her to stick around, waiting for me to be romantically available. When I got together with Thomas, she should've moved on. Right? "I'm sorry you feel this way, but I can't help who I fall for" I reply shocking everyone at the table.

"It's not so much that, I know we can't help who we like but all I ever wanted from you was a chance" Cane hisses. I shake my head, "I'm sorry Cane, you're not my type" I reply honestly. I could see the hurt in her face as I express my dislike towards her.

I grab my things and stand from the table, "I should go." I mutter. Before anyone could stop me I left the house and got into my car. My mind raced with every word Cane spat at me as I drove off. I felt like a shitty friend.

- - - - -

I sat in my car, ignoring all the calls I received. I sigh and rest my head on my steering wheel. Sometimes I felt like life just had it out for me. Without much strength, I peel myself from my car and head towards my apartment, in hopes I wouldn't run into Casey. Seeing her would only make me feel worse about the situation at hand.

As I made way towards the elevator, the man I'd met a month ago was making way to the elevator as well. I knew Casey wouldn't save me this time. I didn't want her to. "Oh, what a surprise to see you" the man spoke as the elevator doors opened. We stepped inside pressing our buttons.

I nod my head, not really having the energy to speak. "Are you okay?" he questions placing his hand on my shoulders. What was his name again? I searched my mind for it as he stepped closer into my space. "Kathryn" he muttered.

I shake his hand from my shoulder, "Thank you for your concerns, Benjamin, but I'm fine."

The man frowns and stops with his advances, at least for now. We make it to my floor and I walk out ignoring him and walking towards my apartment. Just in time for Casey to exit her apartment.

The universe is against me!

Her eyes landed on me. I look away from the girl without a smile, feeling guilty. I felt tears. I try to blink them away, but to no avail as the salty droplets roll down my cheeks.

Casey notices. She steps closer to me, wiping my tears away and glancing at me in confusion. Without much thought, I pull the younger girl into me as I sob onto her shoulder. At first she stands still before wrapping her arms around my waist, pulling me into her more. Even at such a shitty time, I felt at home in her arms.