《Saanwli Si Raat》6. Dosti (Comraderie)
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: Zubiya growled frustratedly as suddenly stood and turned to start pacing round to clear her head.
But stopped short as she came face-to-face with the last person she had expected to see.
Asfandyar stood behind Zubiya calmly waiting for her to notice him for about almost ten minutes. He had been gazing out of his window when he thought he saw Zubiya step out of the back door pointing her flashlight in front of her. He was quick to follow her and was right behind her as she slowly climbed the stairs to the terrace.
But Zubiya, lost in her world failed to notice until she stood up to pace and had suddenly turned back.
They stared at each other for almost a couple minutes until Asfandyar broke the silence.
"What are you doing here all alone? That too at this time?"
Zubiya having no words just gaped at him for about a minute, blinked her eyes owlishly before she finally shook her head and turned her back on him and stood with her hands clutching tightly at the handrails.
"I just.. just came here to get some fresh air.." Zubiya said softly as she gazed back at the sky.
"Why... I mean, were you feeling suffocated in the house?" Asfandyar shot back, walking forward and stood with his back against the handrail, hands folded as he stared at Zubiya contemplating.
"No... it's just that..." Zubiya fell silent as words got stuck in her throat. She had no idea how she would explain herself to a man who hasn't ever dealt with situations like her. Or had to. He was the lucky one here. Unlike her. She almost felt envious of him when she really thought about it... but she stopped herself from thinking over it. Every single person has been sent by Allah with their fates in their hands. It wasn't his fault that she wasn't meant to have a happy family or loved ones.
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But in many ways she sometimes felt the most luckiest. Because she had fortunately decided to come here. Which had resulted in her disclosing many more secrets which were unknown to her. For which she was really grateful to her Allah. She didn't even want to contemplate about where life would have taken her had she chosen a different way.
Asfandyar waited for her to continue and when he found her hesitating he softly said as he surreptitiously sneaked glances at her, "You know... a wise man once said that sharing your thoughts or feelings makes one feel lighter. More better."
"But that would only apply on the cases where the listener can actually understand the speaker and not judge the person based on it." Zubiya monotonously said without looking back at him, aware of what Asfandyar was trying to imply.
"It's not necessary that everyone's judgmental and that he or she can't empathize." Asfandyar shot back gazing at her meaningfully.
Zubiya gazed back at him as she tried to interpret what he was trying to convey. That he really wants to listen to what she has to say?
She sighed heavily as looked back at the sky.
"I miss Abbi. I don't know why... even after how he didn't object when bhai threw me out of the house... after how he treated my mother.. I still miss him. He is my .. When I ran away with Ramiz, a part of me did it to actually rebel against him. To get away from the house where he killed my mother. I never once realized that I was making a wrong decision. The moment I realized it was almost too late. I never once thought about the consequences I would have to face. I was so desperate to get away. After I returned home.. the news had somehow already spread amongst all the family relatives. That I had run away with a man. But no one believed me when I said I didn't do any sin. That I was pure. That I was saved by Allah before anything bad could have happened... My brother hit me and shouted the moment I had stepped into the house that he wished me dead. That he didn't want anything to do with me. It was my father who had believed in me. Who forgave me for my mistake. Who gave me another chance. But I had lost that chance already as I was again falsely accused and my brother finally threw me out of the house. I wonder.. I wonder if they are looking for me.. or are they relieved that I'm out of their way. That I'm no more part of their lives...
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Do you know.... that today was the first time I had ever purchased anything for myself? It reminded me so much of Abbi. No matter what I just can't... can't will my heart to hate him. I can't!" Zubiya choked out through her tears and sobbed into her hands as she fell on her knees.
Asfandyar's heart broke as he watched Zubiya break down into tears. Even though she was wronged by her family members she still want them and is ready to forgive them. How can one person be so forgiving? He already felt hatred for her brother. He felt one was better off having no brother than having one like Zubiya's brother. He again felt that weird protective feeling and wanted Zubiya's brother to never come close to her ever again.
He blinked off the tears that he suddenly felt blur his vision and kneeled in front of Zubiya. He slowly held her by her shoulders and lifted her off the floor. They stood still for awhile almost in each other's arms until she calmed down. He so wanted to hug her. Comfort her. But.. He shook his head off his thoughts and led her to the chair and made her sit.
Zubiya hiccuped slightly as she tried to stop her incoming tears and wipe them. Asfandyar presented a pocket handkerchief in front of her so that she could wipe all the tears.
Zubiya looked confusedly at him, to which he replied , "It's clean." This cracked a smile from Zubiya and then she started chuckling which soon caused her to double up in laughter.
Her laughter was so infectious that Asfandyar couldn't help gazing at her and smile at her with an amazed expression on her face.
She looked so beautiful when she was care-free. So lively.
"I didn't mean that... anyways, thank you. Thank you so much. For everything. For saving me that day. I never really got the chance to thank you... Thank you. Allah had sent me an angel in your form to protect me and I'll be eternally grateful to you for that. And thank you. For now. For listening to me." Zubiya softly said.
Asfandyar shook his head. He had never had any spiritual beliefs and had never believed in fates. But seeing her pure belief in Allah made him want to thank Allah for sending him there at the right time.
"Let's do one thing. Let's do this every week, on this day. Let's meet up here and share our thoughts and feelings. It will be our personal therapy session. But before that let's start with becoming friends. We shouldn't be strangers now that we live in the same house. Okay?" Asfandyar suggested.
"Okay." Zubiya softly replied, nodding her head.
"Now, let's head back to our respective beds. It has become too late. And after the day you had I think you need some rest." Asfandyar said while standing up. Zubiya nodded and stood up as well.
They both walked back into the house side be side and headed towards their respective rooms with much lighter hearts and small smiles etched on their faces.
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