𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬

What does he mean what about Elena?

What about Elena?

Why is that even a question?

I mean sure we hang out a lot lately. I take her everywhere with me, she's over my house a lot. I've told her pretty much everything about me. But that's just because for some reason I was always wanna be around her. Just like I always wanna be around Stefan or Damon or Ti.

I mean sure my mind gets all fuzzy around her and I lose myself in her presence. But it's just because we're friends and she's become a big part of my life. I mean yes I do care for her deeply...b-but I don't think it goes past platonic.

Or maybe I do have some confused feelings for Elena. But those feelings don't make me confused about my feelings for Stefan. Stefan is like when it's cold outside and you curl up by the fire place with the person you love and a fluffy blanket.

When I'm with him...I just picture our whole future together. I feel content with him, like this is where I'm supposed to be. It's like I can be so tough and confident but around him I turn into a bubbly giggling mess. But...

...I can tell he doubts us sometimes.

He's scared that I'll turn around and say everything is fake and that I don't want to be with him......so he pushes me away sometimes. Or he'll become so overprotective that it's smothering because he feels like he's keeping me safe when really he's trying to make sure I don't leave him.

And that hurts...because I feel like he doesn't trust me. I mean did you see how cold he turned when I just mentioned her, how-how he compared me to her? I just wanted to cry at that point. I keep thinking does he think that low of me? That I could do something like that, something so cruel?

But at the same time I can't blame him...either of them. The one time the both of them fell in love it was with the same girl. So I get where Stefan's insecurities come from, but how am I supposed to show him that I'm not like that if he doesn't trust me...if he keeps me at a distance? I just- I hope that I can show him that I can be there for him just like he is for me and show him how much I care about him.

Now...on to what I'm sure you've been waiting for.

Damon.

I don't even know what to say about him. He's such a mystery yet an open book at the same time. I honestly can't even tell you how I feel about him, just because I can't even tell myself. In the short amount of time I've gotten to know him, he's become my support system in a way. When I'm with him I know that I'm protected. He shows me a side of him that doesn't usually see the light of day, a side that shuts down when someone looks too close.

Being around Damon is like a rush of adrenaline. Everything is so unexpected and unpredictable, you never know what he's going to do next. He surprises you every time with a new personality or layer of himself you didn't notice before. His energy keeps your blood pumping, keeps you on your toes.

Damon is like when you hold your breath for too long, that deep intake of air you take when you finally get to breathe. But, I don't see a future with him. I can't picture myself being his wife one day or some how having his kids.

But you see that's the scary part about Damon Salvatore. You don't know if you can't picture a future with him or if you're so caught up you can't see anything but him.

So what am I saying exactly? Was this suppose to be pros and cons to each possible suitor or am I just getting all my frustrations out?

Maybe I should just be honest. Do I have feelings for Elena? ...yes I do. Am I going to act on them? Right now in the present, no. But I don't know where the future may lead.

Do I have feelings for Damon? I don't know. Maybe it's too soon to tell.

I'm not going ask if I have feeling for Stefan, because the answer would obviously be of course I do. No, I'm going to ask a question that's been eating at me for a few moments now and I'm not quite sure if I know the answer. But, let's just dive into the deep end for once.

So Maria...Do you love Stefan?

"What about Elena?" Stefan asks not having the courage to meet my eyes. I furrow my eyebrows.

"What about Elena?" I shoot back forcing him to look me in the eyes. He scratches the back of his neck nervously.

"She likes you Maria. I don't know if you haven't been paying attention, but I have" The green eyes boy tell me. I lean back in shock replaying his words in my head.

She likes me?

I snap out of my trance.

"That doesn't change anything" I assure him shaking my head at what I know he's suggesting.

"It doesn't matter, because I want you. I'm with you, okay?" I place my hands on his cheeks pulling his face toward mine.

"When are you going to realize that?" I whisper closing my eyes as I lean my forehead against his.

"What do you mea-" I cut off his defense.

"I know what you've been doing Stefan. You're scared. You're scared that I'm going to up and leave you behind heart broken. It's why you've been busying yourself with finding ways for you to protect me, because then you'll know that I can't leave" I feel a single tear slip past my thumb.

I look up to see Stefan squeezing his eyes closed while holding my hands to his face.

"I'm sorry, Angel" He voice quivers slightly when he speaks causing my chest to clench. I softly press my lips on to his letting it linger before pulling away.

"It's okay" I assure pulling him into my arms.

Stefan lays in the crook of my neck as I run my hands through his hair.

"It's my turn to care for you"

"Are you sure you're okay?" Elena asks her voice filled concern.

After Marias melt down her and Stefan's heart to heart, she felt a bit emotionally drained. So she decided to do something that always takes her mind off of everything. A bit of retail therapy.

I mean if you have the money to, why not right?

"Yes, Elena. I'm fine" Maria assures her looking throw different racks of clothing. Elena sighs heavily before letting it go.

Maria will talk to me if she wants to the brunette thought to herself.

"Yeah, quit worrying. You're frown lines are killing my mood" The older Salvatore remarks from behind them. Elena shoots him a glare to which he winks.

"Remind me why we brought that?" The girl scoffs in disgust as Damon shamelessly eyes a woman walking by.

Maria chuckles when she glances at him.

"Because he didn't have anywhere to go since he got his ring back and he kind of invited himself" Maria shrugs going back to the clothes. Elena rolls her eyes with a huff.

"Hey Elena, you should definitely get this" Damon teases holding up a red push up bra to his chest wiggly his eyebrows. Elena stares at him unimpressed.

"You're a pig, you know that?" She snaps snatching the bra from him and putting it back where he got it.

"Ouch, you wound me brownie" He mocks holding a hand to his chest.

Maria laughs at the twos constant bickering that's been going back and forth all day.

"If I didn't know any better you two look like a couple" The Griffith girl slips in between their back and forth. But they caught it immediately.

The two jump away from each other muttering a few "eww"s and "never gonna happen"s.

"Yeah, no offense brownie. But I'm not into flat chested sweet little girl next doors" Damon sighs slinging his arm over her shoulder. The brunette gasps crossing her arms over her chest.

"I am not!" She snaps pushing his arm off of her shoulders as her cheeks flush.

"Hate to break it to ya sweetheart" The raven haired man shrugs walking off to annoy someone else.

Maria snickers from behind the clothing rack.

"Maybe you do need that bra" Elena's head snaps to hers as her eyes widen in horror.

"Maria!"

"Everything is set in motion" a deep voice assures over the phone.

"Excellent, now all we need is a plan of attack" The other person chides with a cynical smirk.

"Well we could do it next week I mean-"

"No no no, that's too soon. We need to string this along for a minute. Make them squirm a bit" They grin mischievously.

"Right right, so then when?" The other person asks on the line.

"I don't know yet you idiot. I'll figure it out" They snap into the phone with a shout.

"You know for someone who claims to be smarter than the most powerful beings on earth, you don't really act like it" The other person remarks lowly with a huff.

"Shut up, you dumbass! Of course I'm smarter than them!" They bark into phone viciously.

"I've been doing this for some time and they still don't know. I have to be doing something right?" They pur with achievement.

"Yeah that's because no one really knows who are you really-"

"Shut up!" They hiss into the phone.

"They will know exactly who I am when I show them who really has the power" They grin a sickening sweet smile.

"Samaria Griffith and all the others won't know what hit them"

Welp that's the end of the chapter guys

I know it was shorter than usual but I hope you enjoyed it.

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