Copyright © 2013 by Ladylurve

All rights reserved.

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September 16, 2012 was no ordinary day for Lisa. It was the Sunday that changed her life forever. After six hard years, the grueling battle to keep her marriage intact had left her feeling empty and drained. Her eyes were dry as she packed her luggage that morning. They were still dry when she sat down and wrote the letter he would read when he returned home later that day. If he returns home at all...

After placing the letter on the coffee table in the living room, Lisa began packing her five year old son's belongings. Jake was still asleep on his bed. He probably could not sleep much last night due to the intense shouting match that took place between Lisa and her husband. She was tired of his excuses. Each day, each night, each phone calls, there was always some new excuse with him. She tried to recall happy memories during their marriage but instead found bitter ones that filled her deeper in regret. Even Jake's birthday was marred with his all-too-familiar disappearances. Lisa folded Jake's favorite blue t-shirt and recalled memories of Jake's fourth birthday.

It has been almost 18 months since the event took place. Yet, the memories burned fresh in her memory like it was just yesterday. She was busy washing bowls and measuring cups and spoons used in baking vanilla muffin for Jake's birthday when her mobile phone rang. She washed her hands quickly and ran to the dining room to answer it. It was him.

"Hello," she said, answering the phone using her left hand while wiping her right hand on her apron and quickly switching the phone back to her right hand.

"Lisa, it's me. Can you hear me?". Lisa could hear the background music playing in his car.

"Yes, I hear you. Are you on your way home?" She asked.

"Listen I'm going to be a bit late. So don't wait up for me." He told her in brief.

"You know, it's Jake's birthday today. And we planned to celebrate together. I've already made vanilla muffins for him -" He interrupted Lisa's protest.

"I'm really busy." His reply was firm.

"Mmm kay." Lisa answered softly and was about to hung up when she heard him say, "Save some of those muffins for me. And Lisa, don't wait up," and hung up. Frustrated, Lisa placed her mobile phone on the table and gave a deep sigh. That was always the excuse with him, she fumed. Few seconds after the phone call, she smelled something burning in the kitchen.

Oh God, the muffins! She gasped and ran into the kitchen. Grabbing the mittens on the kitchen counter, she opened the oven and saw burnt muffins.

"Is that my birthday cake, Mommy?" Jake's voice made Lisa turn around too quickly. The hot muffin tray slipped off her unstable grip and fell onto her right foot. Lisa gave a loud yelp and howled in pain as her reflexes forced her to lift her right foot off the tray.

"Mommy!" Jake shouted and climbed down the staircase. Lisa looked at her son and a brief moment of panic set in.

"Stay there, Jake!" she said as she looked at the mess on the kitchen floor. The burnt vanilla muffins littered two-thirds of her small kitchen floor, rubbing black soot onto the floor tiles. A tear rolled down her cheek. Why am I such a failure, she mumbled quietly to herself.

"Mommy, are you okay?" Jake asked gently. Lisa turned to look at her son who looked palish now. He looked like he was holding back tears. Lisa smiled bracingly.

"Mommy's fine, Jake. Let Mommy clean this up real quick and then I'll fix us some dinner. What do you feel like eating? Today's your special day," Lisa reminded him. Jake looked at his mother and grinned, revealing all his baby teeth.

"Can we have prawns and crabs?" He sucked his thumb, closed his eyes and tilted his chin towards the ceiling.

"I'm sorry Jake but we don't have those in the fridge," Lisa frowned.

"Get Daddy to buy them," Jake said, he opened his eyes and looked at Lisa. He took his thumb out and grinned again.

"I will but Daddy won't be home until very late. We need to eat soon or our stomach will be very angry with us," Lisa said soothingly.

"Ask Daddy to come home now. It's my birthday!" Jake demanded.

"I tried honey, but you know Daddy's always busy," Lisa sighed. Déjà vu overwhelmed her as this situation is so familiar especially of late. Despite the familiarity, Lisa finds it difficult to believe that he would do this on his own son's birthday. His ONLY son's birthday. Unless he has another that I didn't know about, Lisa wondered in silence.

Jake started sulking.

"I know, let's make your favorite. How about Mac and Cheese?" Lisa suggested.

Jake's face lit up. He grinned again.

"With lots and lots and ..." Jake nodded his head while uttering each word.

"Lots of cheese!" Lisa finished the sentence for him. She grinned too. Then they both started laughing.

For that brief moment, everything felt good again. But alas, the happiness would not last long. Lisa sighed and placed a stack of Jake's pants into his luggage.

"Where are we going, Mommy?" Jake asked as he rolled on his bed and rubbed his sleepy eyes. Lisa managed a small smile despite the turmoil manifesting in her heart and mind. She replied briefly, "Papi is on his way over. We're staying with him for a bit."

Jake got into a sitting position on his bed and looked at his mother. He grabbed his teddy bear, gave it a strong hug and asked, "Why?" Lisa looked away from him and pretended to be busy looking for his clothes in the nearby wardrobe. She mustered a soft reply, "We're leaving Daddy." Even then, her eyes remained dry.

She removed Jake's clothes, which were hanging in his wardrobe and began folding them as she recalled the later hours of Jake's birthday and how her attempts at calling his dad were to no avail.

"Hello?" Lisa's fluster was audible that evening.

"... lo?" The reply that came through was on a connection that was as broken as her heart.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" She tried again, frustration welling up inside her.

"... busy... call ... later." Lisa heard the click, which ended the call.

Oh my God! This is so annoying. Lisa hung up the phone in frustration after her fifth attempt at calling her husband. She looked at the phone and felt like picking it up and throwing it at the wall. One last try, she muttered to herself. Six times the charm or so they say? Picking up the receiver, she dialed for the sixth time. It went straight to the voice mail box this time. Lisa hung up. She never liked those automated voice mail machines. Taking a long deep breath, she picked up the receiver and dialed his number again. Voice mail box again. Damn it!

After yet another five attempts and just getting the voice mail box, she banged the receiver on the phone. Fuming, she dialed another number.

"Hello?" A female voice answered after a single ring.

"Elaine, it's Li...sa." She broke down uncontrollably. Tears gushed down, wetting her checks.

"Oh hun, hang in there. I'm coming over now." Elaine hung up.

Ten minutes later, the two women were sitting down together, sipping freshly brewed lavender tea.

"Thanks for coming over, Elaine. And thanks for the tea. It tastes and smells wonderful." Lisa said and blew her nose.

"It's my pleasure, hun. I'm worried about you. Is Jake sleeping yet?" She asked, concern audible in her voice.

"Yea, he fell asleep before I last tried to call him." Lisa looked at her tea. She felt tired and frustrated. Elaine studied her best friend's features and stringed her next words delicately.

"I guess, the usual then?" She asked, uncertain.

"Yea, Elaine. I could hardly hear him the first few attempts, then it went straight to the voice mail." Lisa sighed.

This familiar scene in Lisa's kitchen has started sprouting its roots and established its occurrences two to three times a week now. Lisa knew Elaine had her reservations about her husband but she always withheld her opinions and gave Lisa the much needed support of a good friend. Lately, that seems to be all that Lisa can handle. Sometimes Lisa would recall their youthful years back in university and how they often teased one another about the man they would someday marry. This was not remotely near to what they had in mind when they discussed their love lives back in their university days. Too much has gone wrong in Lisa's life the day she met the bastard who became her husband. That much they both knew as they sat down and sipped their tea in silence.

Lisa remembered waiting for what seemed like eternity for her husband to return home that night. She could not remember what time it was when she finally dozed off to sleep. The events of the day had left her emotionally drained. When Elaine left earlier, it was almost midnight. The worried look on Elaine's face only left her feeling embarrassed that her husband had not returned home despite the late hour.

It was the sound of a car pulling into the driveway that woke Lisa up from her sleep that night. She turned to look at the clock on her nightstand. The time was 4:30 a.m. Lisa got out of bed, put on her nightgown and went to check on Jake. He was sound asleep in his room. The sound of key turning the lock of the main door downstairs was prominent as Lisa stifled a yawn. She went downstairs and saw her husband as he was entering the house.

He looked wide awake, she thought to herself. His perfume masked with body odor instantly wafted across the room as soon as he closed the main door. He turned and gasped briefly when he saw Lisa standing at the lower bottom of the staircase. Then his face turned to a scowl.

"Sheesh, you scared the hell out of me! What the hell are you doing up at this hour?" He scolded her, clearly infuriated at being shocked. Lisa was still annoyed with him for missing his son's birthday to even care about him being upset or shocked. Ignoring his questions, she demanded answers from him instead.

"Where have you been? Do you know what time it is?" Lisa asked, her monotonous tone indicating hidden contempt that went unnoticed by her husband.

"I was busy. Things got out of hand and I had to stay and help," he shrugged her off and walked towards the kitchen.

"You say that every night. There's always an excuse with you. It was his birthday yesterday and you missed it!" Lisa raised her voice, frustrations eminent in each word she uttered.

"Yea, how did it go? Did you both have a good one?" He said and opened the fridge. He grabbed some green onions and walked over to the sink to give them a good rinse.

"The vanilla muffin I made was ruined because I was on the phone with you. We had Mac and Cheese," Lisa answered.

"Ah, no wonder I didn't see any in the fridge. Thought you both pigged out and ate them all. Do we have bread?" He asked through a mouthful of green onions.

"No, we ran out. We need to do some shopping soon. Jake asked for prawns and crabs for his birthday meal but I couldn't make him any," Lisa explained to her husband who was now busy rummaging the pantry.

"Okay, let's shop tomorrow," he replied and walked upstairs to their bedroom.

Lisa watched him go and turned to look at the mess he left in the kitchen. Bits of soil from the unwashed roots of the green onions he took out of the fridge littered the kitchen floor from the fridge to the sink. Water droplets from the washed green onions could be seen from the sink to the pantry. Sighing, Lisa took a kitchen rag and began wiping the mess. When she was done, she switched off all the lights her husband has turned on when he came home and walked upstairs. All these switched on lights will add up to our electric bill. I don't understand why he has never bothered switching them off, she grumbled to herself. When she entered her bedroom, she found him fast asleep on his side of the bed. As usual, he had his back to her side of the bed. The clock showed that it was already 6:00 a.m. and the first light of the day was visible through the lightly draped windows of the bedroom.