When Chris and I came downstairs to the living room again, I made sure to sit on the floor to keep some distance between us. Chris wasn't pleased with the idea, but I was done sitting in his lap for the day.

The game continued, and it turned dirtier — no thanks to Jordan and Luke. When Jordan said, 'Never Have I ever sixty-nined' and both Evan and Rose took a sip, I actually tasted vomit in my mouth.

And after that I announced, "If we are playing this game, I either need a bucket or I am puking in Jordan's lap."

So, that's how the game stopped. Thank GOD! I didn't need anyone sexual details about anyone's lives, especially not Evan's. Shit, that actually kind of hurt but more than that, I was purely grossed out.

Chris walked home with me, hand in hand as he talked more about his relationship with his Dad and I realised that the man meant the world to him even though he wasn't around much. But Chris didn't seem to mind, if anything, he seemed so understanding.

On Sunday, I couldn't help but look up Damien Reed. As much as I didn't talk about my birth mother in front of anyone, the thoughts of her bothered me. The fact that she offered to stay in contact was still with me, and I considered it so much.

"Where are you lost, hon?" My father asks, as he takes a bite of the roasted chicken he made this evening.

It's a Tuesday night, and he came home extremely early, offering to cook food. And since I had a lot of homework to do, I didn't deny.

"Thinking about Cassandra." I tell him honestly, because if there's one person I don't hide things from — it's my father.

A look of surprise takes over his features but he quickly covers it as he sips on his wine. "What about her?"

"Why did you never marry someone else?"

It's a thought that had been coming up again and again, and even though I know a part of the reason was Cassandra, but after eighteen years, I expect anyone to move on. Even Michael did, after Breanna's mother died. So, what stopped my father?

He keeps his fork aside as he looks at me from across the table. "Why do you ask?" His full attention is on me, now.

"I've been wondering a lot lately." I shrug, telling him the truth.

He sighs, "I've always been honest to you, An, so that's the path I'll choose right now. When she left, I didn't expect her to leave. There was a huge part of me, a foolish part of me that believed those nine months meant something to her and that she would stay, if not for me, then for you."

I dropped my fork as well as I pushed my food plate aside, losing my appetite as I listen to him talk about his feelings, because he doesn't do that often. Guess, I get that from him.

"But it's been eighteen years, Dad. You have to know she's not coming back, right?" I say, my voice gentle because I don't want to offend him.

He offers me a sad smile, "Sweetheart, I knew she wouldn't look back the moment she left the hospital that day."

"Then why didn't you move on?"

He laughs shortly, "I went on dates, I tried to find someone else but no one seemed good enough."

"Good enough for you or good enough for me?" I ask the question that has been tormenting me.

He sighs, looking into my eyes, "For both of us." He admits.

A frustration runs through me, "But Dad, you don't have to put your life on a pause for me. You've done that enough, you realise that? Cassandra's not coming back to us. She asked me to stay in contact, and as much as I would love that, it wouldn't be fair to you."

I smack my palm against my forehead as I realise the words that spilled through me and I hesitantly meet his eyes. He's smiling, which catches me off guard and I frown at him.

"An, I love you for being so considerate, sweetheart, but I'm not hopelessly waiting for her, neither am I in love with her anymore. I had eighteen years to move on. And moving on doesn't necessarily have to mean that I find another partner, it means that I make peace with the fact that the person I love isn't a part of my life anymore, and that I'm content with it."

I let his words sink in, and realise how much meaning they hold. He's right, just because you want to move on from someone doesn't mean you have to find a rebound. You don't. It just simply means that you have to let go of the feelings you hold for that person.

Easier said than done.

"So, are you saying you'll date again?" I ask, hopefully before I add, "Dad, those dates might not have seemed worthy back then because you're protective as hell of me and no part of you wants to share me with anyone else. I know you! But I'm eighteen now, I'm moving out in less than an year and you have to be selfish for once, please."

He gives me an amused smile, "Is my daughter convincing me to be selfish?"

"Hell yes." I throw my hands in the air dramatically, causing him to laugh and me to smile a little. "Just get out there. You've spent half of your life alone, and you're not a cat person so..."

"Hey, don't insult me now." He fires back, making me laugh as I stand up to move behind his chair and hug him from side.

"I love you, Dad." I whisper.

He sighs, "I love you too, An." He kisses my forehead, "And girly? You should contact your mother. I know she'll love it, so would you." He smiles, removing the last part of doubt from my head.

I sigh, contently as I nod.

___

On Wednesday morning I run in late and offer Mrs. Mason a slip from the counsellor to let me in late in the class without detention. Jordan offers me a high five as I reach his seat and I grin, slamming my palm against his.

Thankfully, Mrs. Mason lets it slip as I take a seat and wave over at Breanna and Luke. The class goes on boringly as does the next few lectures. Chris and I don't share any of those lectures together but I do pass him in the hall but before we can really talk, the bell goes off and I offer him an apologetic smile.

As the lunch approaches, I slam my food tray down on the table before plopping down on the chair. My head slams against the table as I sigh before I feel a presence behind me, immediately knowing who it is, which makes me feel slightly better as a small smile takes over my features.

I sit up, looking at him and he takes a seat beside mine, leaning over to give me a quick kiss. "Hey." He smirks, looking at my dazed self.

"Hi." I blush.

"Where were you this morning?" Evan asks, getting my attention from across the table and I look away from Chris.

I shrug, not offering him an answer which only makes him frown further so I spill it out, "Doc's clinic."

His face immediately stretches into a worry and Chris's hand comes to hold mine, "What's wrong?" Both of them ask at the same time, leaving me in an awkward situation as I play around with the food in my tray.

"Uh, girl's thing?" I say, and both of them immediately drop it.

But, Jordan being himself props his elbows on the table and stares right at me, "What girl's thing?"

"Yes, what girl's thing?" Breanna joins in, making me flustered.

"I went on the pill." I confess, groaning as I face-palm myself.

Chris chokes on the soda he was drinking, almost dropping the can but Jordan snatches it from his hand while I pat his back.

"What?" Evan booms, looking a little pissed which makes me frown as I look away from Chris to him.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"Did I hear you right?" He asks and I shrug, looking back at Chris who's looking at me intensely.

"Did I skip the part where we talked about sex?" He asks, clearly forgetting that all of our friends are sitting with us.

"Jay." I flush, embarrassment taking over, "Why does this have to do anything to do with you?"

Jordan laughs, looking at him, "She literally hands over your ass to you."

Chris turns to me completely, "Are you supposed to be getting laid with someone else?" He arches an eyebrow.

I groan, "It's just so that I don't get pregnant."

"You won't get pregnant unless you have sex, which is supposed to be with your partner." Luke pipes in, gesturing his hand towards Chris.

"Nice talk guys! The weather is good today, isn't it?" I force a smile on my face, trying to change the issue at hand.

"It's wonderful. Let's go take a walk." Chris says sarcastically, tugging on my arm as he stands up and I sigh, following him.

I pout as he manages to get me out of the cafeteria and silently makes me follow him to the bleachers, which is like a five minute walk with an awkward silence but I just keep sighing throughout.

"Stop that, would you?" He finally says as we reach the football ground and take a seat on the bleachers.

"Well?" I give him a frown, trying to make a sense out of his action.

"Explain yourself."

"Explain what?"

"The pill."

"Jay!" I exclaim, tucking my hair behind my ear as I turn to him completely, "Look, I went on the pill for myself. I promise. Nothing to do with you."

His face falls, "Wow, thanks." He scowls and I realise that was probably not the best thing to say to him.

"I mean, like, I had been considering it even before we started dating, precaution is better than cure, right?" I say, taking his hand in mine and he still looks a little deranged in his thoughts.

"I don't know what to think of this. Are you expecting us to—?"

"Noo," I cut him off immediately, "If you think this was an invite to get laid, absolutely not."

He scowls further, "O-kay.."

"I mean, I like the spontaneity of things better." I shrugged, a sly smile on my face and finally his features turn into a smile.

But it goes as quickly as it comes, "Who did you go with?" He asks.

"Dad waited outside the clinic then dropped me off to school." I shrug and he runs a hand through his hair.

"You realise I have a dinner with him tonight and you had to go on a pill this morning?" He arches an eyebrow, making me grin in amusement.

"Are you worried?" I ask.

"Should I be?"

I grin further, "Most definitely."

"Fucking hell. Thanks a lot, woman!" He throws his hands in the air and I burst out laughing.

We spent the rest of the lunch period sitting at the bleachers and mostly saying silent. It's something we did a lot, sat together and just didn't talk at all. Something about the silence was extremely comforting with him, especially when the man didn't talk much.

After the school ended, I met Evan by the locker. He was just shutting his when I reached him, and smacked on his head playfully and he turned around. When he saw it was me, his gaze turned into a glare.

"What?" I frown, confused as to what did I do this time.

"Did you sleep with him that night?" He asks, straight out, making me scowl further as I try to get at his point, "The night you stayed with him. Did you sleep with him?" He asks, clarifying.

His words feel like a stab to my heart as I stare at him, extremely taken aback by his accusatory tone. When I slept over at Chris's place, Evan didn't bring it up the next day or at all in the conversation, almost like he was avoiding the topic but now when he's asking about it, like this — it surprises me.

"Where's this coming from?" I manage to ask, suddenly realising how close we're standing.

I'm about to take a step back when his hand catches my wrist and his eyes search for mine, "Just answer it." He whispers, almost pleading. Then he adds, "Please."

A sense of guilt sweeps over me as I stare into his hazel eyes, trying to make a sense of where his head's at, but I came up with nothing. But a sense of frustration ran through me towards him. A sense of anger that had been building up for four years side by side with the love I have for him.

"It's like you don't even know me." I whisper, not trying to cover up the hurt in my voice as I snatch my wrist away from him, "And it's none of your fucking business, Evan."

I take a step back, colliding into someone and when I look back, Chris is staring down at me curiously, then he looks at Evan, a sense of annoyance lacing his features when he registers the proximity we were standing in.

"Everything alright?" Breanna asked, almost startling me because I didn't realise her presence.

Evan doesn't answer, he just slams the locker shut loudly, making me jump from the noise before he walks away, leaving me staring at his back.

"What's up his ass?" Jordan asks, joining in the conversation.

Everyone looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to respond. I just shrug at them but Chris doesn't buy it. He continues staring at me, as if that would automatically offer him some kind of explanation.

"What happened?" He asks, making sure that the other three are out of our ear shot.

"Nothing." I lie, guilt consuming me and his jaw tenses, as if he can see right through me.

"You need to stop shutting me out when it comes to him, you realise that?" He says and I nod, sighing.

"I know, but.. just, leave this alone. I promise it's nothing." I offer him a small smile and from the way he's looking at me, I know he doesn't buy it but he nods nonetheless.

"Come on, I'll drop you home. I don't have to come back for practice today." He says, holding my hand and I mumble an agreement mindlessly, my thoughts drifting off to Evan.

After Chris drops me off, I know he expects me to invite him in, but I don't. I rush inside my house to find that my windows are shut close, but I slide back the curtain to peek across to Evan's window. His phone is pressed to his ear as he paces in front of his bed, a hand running through his hair every second and I frown.

That's when I notice that it seems like he's yelling at whoever is on the other side of the phone. He continues to talk, while I continue to stare at him, a sense of concern coming over me because I've never really seen him like this often.

Evan has to be one of the most calm person I know, he doesn't loses his shit easily so the person on the other hand must've done one hell of a job to piss him off.

He's already pissed at me for some weird reason, as am I at him because he has no tight to accuse me of things which don't concern him. So, I drop back the curtain and go to my bed. My appetite seems to be at lost so I skip lunch and pick up another romance novel to shut my thoughts out.

When the clock strikes five, I get up to start preparing dinner. Cooking isn't my favourite thing to do, but I can't expect my father to come home early every evening to do that chore for me.

Since Chris seems to love chicken burgers, I decided to make that along with beans and mac and cheese. I realise how varied the food is that I decided to prepare, but I didn't give a fuck.

Around six thirty, my father came home, raising his eyebrows at me when he saw me manhandling the kitchen.

"Just your boy is coming over, right?" He asks, making me groan.

"No burgers for you." I shoot and he grins, ruffling my hair.

"Well, go change. He'll be here any minute and we can't have you looking like I indulge in child labor." He teases, making me roll my eyes.

I take a quick shower before throwing on a pair of black fit jeans and a red blouse. I was just pulling my hair into a ponytail when the bell rang, so I didn't bother to put any liner. I grab my glasses before going downstairs only to find that Chris is still at the door and my father seems to be speaking something.

"Is he doing his thing where he's trying to act like he's a strict parent?" I ask, going behind him and Chris's face splits into a smile when he sees me. I try to keep my blush in as I wave at him from behind my father.

"What are you talking about? I'm a strict parent, An." Dad says, making me snicker.

"Sure, Dad. Now let him in." I pull the door further open and my father grumbles before stepping aside.

Chris steps in, as my father goes to the living room. Before Chris can go further inside, I pull him back and stand on my toes to place a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Hi." I blush and he grins.

"Hey."

"No flirting under my roof." My father announces.

Chris chuckles slightly, "He's in a mood today, isn't he?"

I shrug, "He's just pretending so you'll be scared. Act along, might win you some points."

"Baby, I've earned you, don't need any more points." He smirks.

"Cockiness wouldn't get you anywhere, Jay." I point out before both of us make our way to the dining table where my father has already set up the table. I look at him, "I could've done that, you know?"

"You already cooked dinner, it's the least I could do."

"You cooked?" Chris sounds surprised and I give him a nonchalant glance as we sit down on the table.

"She made chicken burgers," Dad starts then looks at Chris, "I wonder why."

I wish I'd let my hair open so I could hide behind my hair as the embarrassment takes over. Very hesitantly, I look up at Chris and a breath leaves me when I notice the pure adoration reflecting in his eyes.

My father clears his throat and we start serving dinner to ourselves. Chris just takes his first bite before my amazing father starts his investigation.

"So, Chris, where do you think this relationship is going?"

I try to hide my amusement as I look at both of them, "Dad, I'm sure I am the one who's supposed to have that conversation with him. Not you."

"Eat your food, An." He scolds me, and I roll my eyes, biting my tongue to stop myself from arguing back.

"To be honest, Sir, we're both happy and I think that's what matters." Chris says, making me cock my head to side as I look at the confidence in his answer, almost leaving me in an awe.

"Well, alright then." My father rubs his chin, "Let's talk about law, shall we?"

I groaned loudly but when he threw me a glare I immediately shut up, concentrating on my food. The burger turned out much better than I'd anticipated and I'm pretty proud of it.

As both of them start discussing law, I listen patiently. Dad is in a Harvard graduate, so I know he expects a lot from me without actually saying anything at all.

"Ivy league?" Dad asks him, carrying on the conversation about the choices of college.

Chris shakes his head, sipping on the soda, "I aspire to be a good lawyer someday, but even I know where my potential lies. I'm not going to aim for stars while standing on the land."

His eyes briefly meet mine and I offer him a small smile. Dad speaks up, "Son, nothing's ever too far for you to reach it. You just have to work hard enough for it."

"Maybe." He shrugs, and I know he doesn't want to argue back so he's just politely letting the conversation go.

As the dinner comes to an end, Dad brings out a bucket of Ben & Jerry's and we all settle down in the living room. I switch on the television as my father turns to Chris.