Almost spilled

“—You can choke me hard. Just, don't kill me. I need to live ”

Jimin's heart beats as if it wanted to get itself out from his sweating body. His feet slowly made its steps to the living room as he knew that Jungkook was waiting to talk to him. They hadn't meet each other for a quite long period so Jungkook must had so many things to talk about.

As he stepped into the living room, Jungkook's eyes were already landed on him, showing that he already prepared himself to meet him. Jimin couldn't deny that he was so nervous. Jungkook could see his scared face as his lips that used to be red plump colored is now pale.

Didn't want to make it obvious, Jimin licked his lips so that it would look wet and pinker. "Hey, long time no see dude. I thought you won't meet me anymore " Jimin started the talk with a random conversation. Hearing Jimin's soft voice, Jungkook got a minor goosebumps.

He scoffed. "Of course I'll meet you. After all, you're still my best friend " he said, making Jimin felt relieved a bit. He sat across Jungkook and crossed his legs as he looked at the younger face. "Do you need some drink? My maid can serve you with the best coffee " Jimin smiled.

Jungkook noticed his changes. He has started to smile at people and that was good. He sighed, "It's okay. I don't come here to drink. I want to talk to you " Jungkook said, making it straight to the point.

"What is it, kook? " Jimin asked as if he didn't know what was his real intention. Jungkook let out a small chuckle and shook his head. "I bet you know why I'm here. Isn't?" he mocked him.

Jimin sighed and changed his sitting posture. He straightened his back and clenched his jaw. "Is it why you come to see me? If yes, you can just leave because I don't want to hear anything about that problem " he stated sternly as he looked at Jungkook with a fierce expression.

"But that problem is your problem. You can't just let it be, Jimin. You need to solve it. Or it'll continues till your next generations. Aren't you worried about your future kids? " Jungkook asked which pissed Jimin off because he hates discussing about his own problems.

"What kids? I don't even have kids. I'm not married yet" he stated.

"But you're getting married with Aera soon. You need to think about your future kids. It's time for you to start planning. " Jungkook talked back, didn't want to lose in this debate.

"I'm not going to have kids! " Jimin raised his voice up as he slammed the table hardly. Jungkook made eye contact with Jimin as he tried to study his expression. A slight chuckle was let out by Jungkook. "Stop lying, Jimin. You want kids. I know it. It's just you're afraid of having them. " he smirked.

Jimin's eyes started piercing as he clenched his fist silently. Jungkook stood up from the seat and made his way to Jimin so that he could stand beside him. Without any warns, he took Jimin's arm and pulled up his sleeves. "Look at these wounds. You're hurting. " he said as he knew it would happen. Crossing his arms, he looked up at Jimin and asked "Do you want to let this problem continues? With no ending? It's not just about you. It drags Aera in this problem." Jungkook stated.

Jimin shook his head as he disagreed with Jungkook. "She won't be in trouble if you don't let her know. " Jimin said, trying to warn Jungkook to not telling Aera about his condition.

"Even if I don't tell her, she'll find out herself. Believe me. That time, you'll regret for not letting her know. " Jungkook said.

Jimin hissed at Jungkook's words. "I've been hiding this thing since forever. Non of you ever knew it until Taemin leaked it purposely because he wants to see me suffer. Just don't tell her or my world will ends. I don't want her to leave me" he sighed.

"You need to let her go, Jimin. " Jungkook said. His eyes was begging from the inside, hoping that Jimin will listen to him. But as he expected, he won't. He will never listen to him.

"Don't force me, Jungkook. I know what I'm doing. " Jimin stated as he slowly pulled his sleeves down.

Knowing that he could never win a bet with him, Jungkook made his way out from the house without saying a thing to Jimin.

Jungkook left my house without bidding a goodbye to me. Maybe he had gave up on me because he knows I'll never listen to his advices. I know he put hands into my problem because he loves me and doesn't want to see me hurting. But I chose to hurt.

He couldn't do anything about it because it was my decision.

I had been waiting to taste love and now, I got it. So why would I let it go? Just hurt me if that was the only way for me to be happy and loved. I'd rather die with love than being alive forever without love.

I heaved a sigh and looked up at the stairs when I suddenly heard some noises coming from up there. It was probably Aera. Oh yes, she was still mad at me. I should check her up now.

I called Uncle Seon to lock the door and went upstairs to Aera's room since I asked her to wait for me there.

I reached her room. I took out my hands that was tugged in the pockets to knock the door. Who knows if she was changing, right?

"Aera, can I get in? We need to talk " I said and waited for her to respond back. I heard footsteps were coming towards me so I straighten my back and waited for the moment she opens the door.

"Come in. " she said after slightly opening the door for me. I shrugged and pushed the door and made my way into her room. As I stepped in, I noticed that she was looking at me already. It was awkward when she suddenly looked at me like that. So to shrugged all the weird feelings away, I heaved a sigh and pretended like nothing really happened.

"Hey, why's with that face? " I asked with a smile. She frowned at first, but then, her expression changed right away. "Nothing. " she answered which make me relieved a relief sigh. I thought she was going to continue madding at me. I smiled gently and sat beside her on the bed.

Before I could open my mouth to talk, she put her index finger on my mouth and shook her head. "Let me ask you first. " she said and went to her desk. She took a big paper and came to me.

The closer she came, I started to realize that the paper she was holding was my painting. She took it already before I could say anything. Gently, she set the painting down and crossed her arms while she was trying to study my painting.

"I've been looking at your painting for a few minutes. Yet, I only see sadness, darkness and fear in your painting. What does it means? Could you explain? " she asked.

I was amazed knowing that she could read my painting. She knows the message I was trying to tell but couldn't. I think she's that kind of a girl who loves arts.

I cleared my throat. "Well, I just painted it using my imagination thoughts. Why? " I asked to know. She scoffed at me and shook her head.

"So it's confirmed. Your thoughts are full with negativity. " she stated seriously, her eyes were staring deeply at my paintings. What I painted was a broken mirror and there was a reflection of a boy holding a red rose in his hands.

"Why does the boy looks sad? " Aera asked about the boy I painted. I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know, I just painted what I want. And it popped up on my mind while I was painting " I answered without any doubts. She nodded her head.

"I noticed that you'd always paint a boy holding a red rose. Look at your previous paintings, most of them are just the same. You always put the boy with red rose. It must have something significant, isn't? That's why you always paint him. " She tried to make a conclusion of my painting. I shook my head at her theory.

"Or, is this little boy was— you? " she asked and turned to me so that she could see my reaction. Slowly, I shook my head. "No. " I answered shortly with no expression on my face so that she can't read my face. People could see if we're lying or not just by seeing our expressions.

"No one can read my painting. You may read what I am trying to tell but you will never know the story behind it. The only person who know it is me. Just— don't judge it by how it looks when you don't know the whole story. " I scoffed, sounded like I was mad.

Aera's eyes changed as she looked down at where her feet were. "I'm sorry if you don't like my question. I just don't want you to get hunted by negativity, depression and bad thoughts. I know painting is the way you express your feelings but— it makes me sad knowing that you're hurting inside but you seem to be okay outside. " her tone got softer and lower than before.

She started to get sad because she thought I was mad at her. I heaved a sigh and shook my head. "Aera, I'm not mad at you " I said softly, standing up and went straight to her so that I could pull her into my arms. "Don't think that I'll get mad just because of small things. I'm not that type of a guy. Okay? " I asked, my hand was gently stranding her back.

She stayed quiet at first as I was caressing her hair. Then, she finally looked up at me with a smile. "I know you weren't mad. It's just— I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable with my question. I know I wasn't supposed to ask you that. But I really wanted to know what was bothering your mind. " she blurted.

"No, you've never make me feel uncomfortable with you. You deserve to ask anything about me. It's just, I wasn't rational. Maybe because I was tired and stuff. Sorry for my behavior just now " I apologized.

She smiled. "You don't have to apologize, Jimin. It's not even your fault. Let's just forget this, how about watching TV together? " she asked with a cute smile as her eyes were hoping for me to say yes. I giggled softly and nodded. "Sure. Everything you want. " I followed her to the living room.

The living room was filled by the TVs noise as Jimin and Aera were enjoying the movie. Both of them were having a great time together.

"This movie isn't bad. I love the storyline though. " Jimin gave his opinion on the movie as his eyes were glued on the television. Aera tightened the hug by wrapping her arms around his waist as both of them were snuggling on the couch. Everything went fine, but not until an advertisement of Korean Community showed up. It was nothing wrong about the advertisement.

It's just— Jimin's dad was there and he didn't like it.

"Evening everyone. Today, our President, Park Jungh—" Jimin turned off the television before the reporter could say anything more. He felt triggered after looking at his dad's face. He hates him to be clear.

"Why'd you switch off the television? Aren't we watching movie? " Aera asked, pretended like she didn't know anything. Jimin sighed to control his anger and shook his head.

"Didn't you see my dad just now? It's so annoying to know that everyone trust he's kind when he's absolutely not. " Jimin blurted, rolling his eyes silently. Aera knew he was pissed off just by seeing it on his frowning face.

She broke the hug and looked up at him. "But we don't know if he has changed, right? You haven't talk to him for years so you don't know the truth. " she stated her opinion.

Jimin didn't think that Aera should said that because he knows his dad very well. He won't change that easily. He poked his cheek with his tongue and crossed his arms to show Aera he didn't agree with her. "No, he won't change that quick, Aera. Trust me he won't " he muttered.

"But it has been more than 10 years Jimin. People do change especially there's reasons for them to change. You can't assume that he's still the same when you have never talk to him. Of course you'll never see him changes. " Aera added.

"Besides, I saw him at the orphanage last week. He gave some money to them. Aren't that good enough? He looked so happy with the kids. I bet he misses his own son. He misses you, Jimin. You're his only son, " Aera scoffed

Jimin knows that Aera will keep forcing him to forgive his dad so he got up and went upstairs to avoid any arguments from happening.

Aera furrowed her brows as she watched Jimin walking away from her sight. She shook her head in disbelief and yelled "I haven't finished talking to you yet! " she chased for him till his room. Gladly, Jimin didn't lock his room when he got in. So, she just entered and searched for him.

"Jim—" she stopped her steps when Jimin was already in front of her with his arms crossed. Smiles weren't on his face as he kept the serious expression.

"Wanna know something about my dad? " he asked seriously, his arms were still crossed. The atmosphere in the room changed automatically when Jimin had his serious face on. It seemed like as if he has a powerful aura that would affect everybody around him. Aera gulped down and nodded slowly. "Sure, why not. "

He smirked. "As you wish, Kim Aera " he said and held her wrist to lead her to somewhere out from his room. They walked through the hallway as Jimin turned to left. "Where are we going? " Aera asked, clueless.

"You'll know it later. "Jimin answered as he kept walking with Aera's wrist in his grip. Then, they stopped their steps right in front of a big door. The room was familiar to her. Aera once got into the room. It was the room full with Jimin's album. She had found so many pictures of Jimin's childhood in the room but she hadn't tell Jimin about it because was afraid that he would scold Uncle Seon for letting her in. So, she had to pretend like she didn't know about this room.

"Why are we here? " she asked, turning her head to Jimin who was standing beside her. Looking up and down, Jimin was hesitate to enter the room for some reason. But since he was already there, he needed to enter it no matter what. Because he wanted to tell Aera a secret.

"Let's just get in. " he mumbled to himself as his hand slowly pulling the doorknob so that both of them could get in. They stepped into the room and looked at the surrounding. Aera sneezed since there was some dust in the air and her nose was allergic to dusts. She closed her nose with her hands and waved her other hand on the air. "It's so dusty here " she shook her head.

"Are you okay? " Jimin asked as he realized that Aera kept sneezing like a cat. Aera tried her best to look fine so that Jimin could just continue with his first intention of bringing her there. "I'm fine, just tell me about your dad. " she answered.

"Does it relates to this room? " she added, still had her hand closing her nose.

"Yeah, I need to show you something " Jimin said and walked to the desk in front him. He bend down his back and found that it was locked, still same as the last time he came into this room. Then, he turned up his head and sharply looked at the clock that was hung up on the wall. The clock might seen not important and simple but what we didn't was, it was the place Jimin hid the key of the locked desk. He took the key behind the wood clock and started to unlock the desk. Aera's eyes went a little wide as she couldn't wait about what Jimin was going to show her.

She thought it was a thing like watch, shoes or anything. But she was wrong. It was actually an album full with photos.

"An album? " she asked.

"It's not just an album, Aera. " Jimin corrected her.

"It's an album full with secrets " he whispered loudly so he sounded like he was actually talking. Before she could ask more, they started to opening the album that was ' full with secrets '

"Omg, I'm so sorry for you—" Aera was speechless after knowing the story behind Jimin's sad life. She closed her mouth due to the shock as she shook her head in disbelief. She couldn't believe it, but the pictures were there as the proves.

He showed her some pictures of his dad with a woman that isn't his mom. She was his another wife.

"When my mom was suffering due to brain cancer at the hospital, he went out to night club with this slut " Jimin added.

"I was left alone to take care of my mom. He left me and my mom. " Jimin started to flashing back all those bad memories of him with his dad.

"But I was lucky because Uncle Seon always be by my side and support me. He was the one who'd send my mom to hospital for check ups and he was the one who'll buy medicines for my mom. He helped me a lot. I can't imagine how I would continue my life without him helping me. " Jimin said

"And what's worse, when my mom was on her deathbed, my dad wasn't even there to see her. He absolutely neglected us. He just gave us money to survive by our own. He didn't do his responsibilities as a dad and a husband. " he continued with his story.

"Without Uncle Seon, I don't know if I would still alive or I'd ended up killing myself due to the depression. "

"And what made me hate him so much is, when he got married with another woman on the day my mom died. " his face saddened as he told her the last part. "He had no respect at all"

"I had to live alone after he got married with his new wife. He sent me to another house in Busan and asked me to live by myself. Even Uncle Seon was ordered by my dad to take care of me, I'm so grateful that he treats me like his own son. He never neglects me like my dad did. He showed me loves and kindness. Yet, I still ended up growing up as a cold hearted person. "

"Could you ever imagine how I was feeling knowing that my dad was getting married when I was at the down of my life, crying my life out. He's so cruel for doing that. "

"Yet, no one knows about this. All the community think that he's a kind, generous old man who loves his people. But the truth is, he doesn't. He only make himself as his priority. What a sad life " He chuckled bitterly.

His past life was bitter and full with hurts. He was hurt by his own family; his dad. The man that brought him into the world, the man who shares the same blood as him, is the man who destroyed him. Knowing the truth, Aera finally understand why Jimin used to be so cold towards others. Because he was treated like that.

A sudden sniffling sound earned his attention. Jimin turned his head to his right and found that Aera already had tears in her eyes. She cried hearing his story.

"Aera? Why are you crying? " Jimin asked, scooting closer to her then gently pulled her closer to him.

"I didn't know you had went through those hard times— I know it was hard. Mostly when you need to face it alone. I'm so sorry for your loss, Jimin. " her tears kept rolling down her eyes as her cheeks were already wet caused by the tears.

"It's okay, it wasn't your fault anyways. Don't cry " Jimin patted her head slowly to help her feels better.

"I hope I could be there with you. But it's only if we were determined to be met earlier. " Aera sobbed but she really means what she said to him.

"It's okay, Aera. I know, if you were there with me, everything will be fine. But at least, now you're with me. And my life is even better. It's fair " he smiled softly and continued patting her head.

"Don't cry. I don't like seeing my princess cries. A princess doesn't cry, okay? " he asked her with the softest voice which somehow melted her heart.