—Jimin

Jimin slowly opened his eyes and covered them with his palm when the sun bright was shining right on his face.

He turned to his sides and tried to see if anyone was there. But there was nobody in his room. He sighed and tried to sit but a a slight pain was felt on his head. He stopped his movement and touched his forehead then found there was a bandage wrapped around his head.

Didn't know what had happen, he called for Uncle Seon.

"Uncle? Uncle, come here. " he yelled loud enough for anyone to hear. Then, Uncle Seon showed up in his room and asked "Yes, Sir? ". He seemed relaxed.

"What's wrong with my head? Why is it wrapped? " Jimin asked. Uncle Seon mouthed him an O then walked closer to his bed.

"Actually, Sir. You fainted yesterday. At an apartment building, " he answered him. Jimin was a bit surprised after hearing his answer. But then, he managed to remember what happened to him yesterday.

yesterday

Couldn't bare the pain in his heart anymore, he decided to go home. But before that, he turned to look at her for the last time.

"I'll miss you. Even you betrayed me, " he said to himself before walking away. But before he could even take a step back, he noticed there was a group of men were doing a maintenance work on the second floor and Aera was right under the floor they were working. Having eagle eyes, Jimin spotted that one of the bricks they use for work was about to fall from the building. And if it falls, it was going to hit Aera.

He gasped as he turned back to Aera who was standing right under the brick. Seeing the brick was about to fall, he ran towards her and pushed her to the side. But then, the brick fell and hit him.

Then, everything went blank.

Jimin turned back to Uncle Seon and asked. "Who brought me home? "

Uncle Seon looked a bit guilty to answer his question. He looked down and sighed. "Why you're not answering me? I'm talking to you now. " Jimin said.

"Yeah but— I don't think I should tell you this. You may lost your mood, " Uncle Seon said, making Jimin wanted to know more eagerly.

"Just tell me, I deserve to know " he scoffed. As a man who raised him up, Uncle Seon knows he couldn't win any conversation with Jimin. So he decided to just let him know. He sighed, "Alright then. If you really want to know. "

"Taehyung brought you here. " he stated

"What? Taehyung? " he asked in disbelief.

Jimin didn't know what should he felt. Should he feels grateful that Taehyung helped him? Or should he feels mad?

Yes, he admitted he needed to be thankful that at least he brought him home. Even he knows Jimin hates him, he still helped him. But the only thing that couldn't get out from his mind was; what he was doing at Aera's apartment area? Why he was there?

Do they two are dating?

This thing had become Jimin's fear. He couldn't accept it if it's true. But it makes sense though. If they aren't dating, then what did Taehyung do there? And why the hell Aera didn't wait till he woke up from his passed out? He saved her from getting hit by the brick but she didn't even say thank you.

This small thing encourage Jimin to think that Aera was really dating with Taehyung. He started to believe that she didn't love him anymore.

He was so sad that he couldn't even let out any tears. He was tired of crying and the tears didn't want to go out anymore.

"You're a betrayer, " his heart sank when he said that. But it was the only thing he could say. Because he felt betrayed.

Then, he started to feel unwanted in this world.

"I regret for living in this world, "

"Sir, why are you not eating? You've started to lost weight again. Please, at least take a few bites. " Uncle Seon sighed.

As expected, Jimin refused to eat again. "It's okay. I don't want to eat. I'm fine, ". Even he said so, his pale lips said either. Uncle Seon knows him so well. He wasn't fine.

He put the bowl on the table and heaved a sigh. "Sir, you know you can't continue being like this, right? You're looking so much like your dad now. You look lifeless, " he blurted. When he mentioned about Jimin's dad, Jimin turned to him with a blank look on his face.

"Do I look like my dad? Lifeless? Hm? " he repeated his statement. Then, he let out a bitter chuckle. "At least he was the one who leave. Not like me. I'm the one who got left by him and Aera. " he spoke.

"Do you even notice? Why I'm always the one who got left? Why can't I be the one who leave? Don't they know how hurt it is to be left alone in this harsh world? Aren't they pity me? " he asked and kept asking.

Uncle Seon was speechless as he had no idea about what to say to him. He looked down at his feet and closed his eyes. "At least you survived, right? Isn't that enough for you? You're strong. You survive to live in this world. You did it, " he said, which somehow touched Jimin's heart.

Jimin stared at his bed sheet and revised back what he had went through all this time. Yes, what Uncle Seon said was true. At least he survived.

"Yes. I survived " he nodded.

"But it was all because of you, " he continued, making Uncle Seon to look at him. "If you weren't with me through all this time, I might ended up committed suicide. Seriously, " Jimin said.

"You're the one who raise me up and always be there when I need someone. You're like a dad to me. " he said again and looked at the old man in front of him. "I survived because of you. "

"You're the reason of my survival, "

"You may not expecting this to come out from me because I've always been acting cold towards you. Ever since I was little. I'm not a warm hearted person as you know. But little did you know, the only way to protect your own heart is acting like you don't have one. " Jimin said softly and relaxed. He started to be cold since the day his mom passed away. He determined to not believing anyone who ever tried to get into his life because he was afraid of losing again. But, he failed. He loves Aera and broke his rules.

At the moment Jimin said that, Uncle Seon started to realize something about him. All this time, Jimin was only cold. Not cruel. He was only hiding his feelings from people. That was why he seemed cold from the outside. But opposite to the inside, he's actually a warm and kind hearted person.

He still remember when Jimin's cat, Orchid got hit by a car and died, Jimin looked fine and chilled. But once he locked himself in his room, no one knows that he cried for its death.

Few months ago, a little girl came to their house while crying and stated that she lost her mom. At first, the little girl cried even more when she saw Jimin's serious face. But after a few minutes, she started to like him when he gave her some sweets. When Uncle Seon wasn't around, he picked the girl up and carried her on his shoulders then brought her to the park to find her mom. That was so pure, right? But people don't see that. Because he chose to hide his kindness.

People only see his weakness which is his cold behavior. None of the people know his warm side. Yes. For this whole time, he wasn't a jerk or a beast. But he was just protecting his heart from getting hurt by anyone. He did that for himself.

Uncle Seon stared at the pale boy and wiped the tears that was about to fall from his eyes.

"Is it wrong for me to love? I know that I used to afraid of loving. But now, I crave for love. How funny," Jimin scoffed.

"Then, I ended up being left again. Why is this world treating me so harsh? It's killing me. It hurts " tears rolled down his eyes as he couldn't hold the pain anymore. He needed to cry to let the pain out from him. Seeing the boy cried, Uncle Seon started to feel sad.

"It's not your fault for protecting your heart, Sir. You're just a victim of this cruel world. You don't deserve to live like this. You deserve loves. "

Uncle Seon couldn't bare the feelings of seeing Jimin sad like this. Slowly, he sat beside him and hugged him. "It's okay, everything will be fine, soon. I promise you." he said softly.

3 days had passed and I'm still here, locking myself in my room. Even Uncle Seon and Mrs Song had try their best to convince me to move on, I still chose to rewinding back what had happen to me this whole month.

What a tragedy.

I have never experienced such a thing. But— after thinking about all of these, maybe these things happened because I was too afraid of losing. Yes, losing people that I love was my fear. One of my biggest fear actually.

I lose to my own fear.

How funny, right? I think all these things wouldn't happen if I get to overcome my fears. Jungkook once asked me to overcome it but I refused. I have another big problem that no one knows except Jungkook, my dad and the Kims siblings. Even Aera didn't know it. But I'm sure if I tell her about my secret before, she would surely leave me right away. Because she didn't love me sincerely. Her love was fake. She gave me a fake love.

Did she thinks my feelings is a joke? Probably. That was why she did that to me. She betrayed me.

I started to think, maybe I should overcome my fears so that people can't play with my feelings. I got off from my bed and made my way to the desk. Let's start with my first fear; my reflection.

I want to see how it goes. I opened my desk and took out a broken mirror that I once punched it. I sighed and slowly looking into the reflection in the mirror.

Uncle Seon unlocked Jimin's room using the spare key and ran to him. He looked down at the floor and what he saw next really gave him a minor heart attack. There was blood on the floor.

Gasping, he searched for Jimin and found that he was sitting at the edge of the bed while hugging his knees and his palms were bleeding. "Park Jimin! " he shouted his full name as he made his way towards him.

"What are you doing?! Are you insane? You want to kill yourself?! " he yelled as he looked at his bleeding palms. Jimin's face was covered by his own blood and so did his white clothes.

Jimin just ignored what Uncle Seon had said. He just looked at his blood and stared at the broken piece of mirror.

"Take the mirror away, " he spoke.

"Or I'll go crazy again. " he added without looking at Uncle Seon.

The old man who was scared that Jimin would do anything crazy turned his head back and looked at the mirror. "Oh gosh, I thought I have threw it away! " he cursed under his breath and took the mirror. He ran towards the bin and threw it in it. Even the mirror had Jimin's blood on it.

He rushed back to Jimin and held his palms up. "You cut your hands " he shook his head. "Tell me what's the reason? Did you want to kill yourself, huh? " Uncle Seon asked in disbelief.

Jimin let out a sarcastic chuckle and looked at Uncle Seon blankly. "Do I look crazy enough to kill myself? " he asked.

"I know I look insane now. But— killing myself means I have give up. At this point, I really have gave up. But I don't want people to think that I lose. I don't want to lose to my own fear, Uncle. I don't want to lose, " his tears started to forming up again as he kept repeating that I don't want to lose sentence.

"What do you mean, Sir? What fear are you talking about? Why are you torturing yourself then? " Uncle Seon asked in confusion. Yet, his hands were working to wrap Jimin's palm with bandage. But he stopped when Jimin started to talk again.

"I'm scared of my own reflection. " Jimin chuckled bitterly.

"Yeah, you may think I'm crazy for fearing my own reflection. But, that's the truth. I would always see monsters everytime I look into the mirror. Those monsters scare me. " he shook his head.

"Maybe that's why Aera left me. Because I'm a loser. Unlike Taehyung. " he wiped his tears that was rolling down.

"No, don't compare yourself with other people! You are you and they are they. Stop forcing yourself to be someone else, " Uncle Seon shook his head.

"But that was the reason Aera left me! Because she hates me! I'm a loser. " his heart breaks. Uncle Seon somehow could feel the pain Jimin was feeling and he didn't want him to get hurt again. So he chose to spill the bean. He needed to betray Aera and Jungkook for Jimin's sake. He couldn't hold it anymore. He didn't want to see the boy he raised by his own hurting like this.

He sighed and scooted closer to Jimin. Looking at all the blood, he looked at him and hesitantly opened his mouth to speak. "Actually, Jimin. " he hesitated.

"I know what's going on and, I know the truth. The truth that you never tell me— I mean, . "

•••