I laughed bitterly to myself as I pushed myself on the swing, clutching the bottle between my hands. I could see a cloud of smoke when I breathed out but I couldn't feel the cold. I took another swig, sighing with relief at the taste. I pushed myself off the swing, walking around the park.

"You fucking happy?" I yelled up into the sky, throwing my middle finger up. "Don't you think you've done enough!" I bellowed with anger.

I heard the sound of someone's footsteps but that didn't stop me. "What the fuck have I done so badly?" I screamed even louder.

"There you are." I snapped my head around to see a mop of blonde hair.

"Leave me alone!" I slurred, taking another sip. "I don't want to talk to anyone." I added.

"Sam please." Jake came into view as his face was filled with horror but I ignored him, looking back up at the night sky. It was a beautiful evening, filled with hundreds of stars in the sky. The moon shone down on us beautifully but this only angered me more.

It was a beautiful evening for a fucking horrible day.

"First you take away my mum!" I yelled with venom, spitting slightly as I was yelling so loud. "I was fucking 8 years old you bastard!" I cried out, taking another swig. My hands shook as I held the bottle, wanting to throw it but keeping hold of it tightly.

"Sam stop." Jake yelled, jogging over to me.

I snapped my head around and glared at him. "I said leave me alone!" I screamed at him, backing away as he tried to grab the bottle from my hand.

"You think this fucking universe is on our side." I shook my head as I laughed bitterly. "You left me without a fucking mum." I screamed and slurred at the same time. Jake's face twisted in pain as he looked horrible. His eyes were red and he had such bad under eye circles.

"And then you take away the person I'm fucking in love with!" I yell so loudly, my throat clenched at the end.

Jake's face when from horror to complete shock. "What?" I turned to him. "Was it not fucking obvious?"

Jake shook his head, his eyes wide. He held his arms out to me. "Sam just listen to me." I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're not well. You're in shock, you need to come with me."

I glared at him, backing away. "I'm not going back there!" I cried. "You can't force me." I said, this time quieter, almost a whisper.

"I won't force you." He said softly, reaching his arm out to me. "Let me take you home."

"I can't!" I cried, taking another large gulp and jumping back.

"You're dads worried sick Sam. He hasn't slept in days; you need to go home." I shook my head once again.

"You don't understand!" I cried out.

Jake sighed with hurt, his eyes scrunching. "Of course I understand, he's my best-"

"No!" I interrupted him. "It should have been me."

He looked at me with confusion. "What?"

"The gun was aiming at me Jake." I say, getting quieter as tears followed. "He- He jumped in front of me." I added as I drop the bottle on the floor, hearing it smash into a thousand pieces.

My head felt heavy and my heart hurt as I said those words out loud. No words in the universe could describe the pain I was feeling right now.

His face twisted in agony as he grabbed my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. I didn't fight back; I didn't try to run away. Instead I began to cry, so fucking hard into his chest. "Its ok." He whispered. "It's not your fault, don't think for a fucking second that it is."

"It hurts so bad." I sniffef as we both slowly dropped to the floor. My fists took a hold of his shirt as I squeezed it for support. I laid in his arms as he rocked us back and forth, tears brimming at his eyes.

"I know." He whispered, his voice extremely strained. I stayed silent as he grabbed his phone and dialled a number, his other arm staying wrapped around me.

"Hey I found her- no everything's fine. I'll get her home." He spoke and then quit off the call. I'm not sure how long we sat there for but it was surprisingly comforting.

After a while, Jake stood up pulling me up with him. I didn't fight it anymore as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and walked us out of the park to his car. We didn't really speak until we arrived parked outside my house. Jake turned to me with a sad but encouraging smile. "He's gonna be ok. I know he will."

I nodded slowly but I didn't believe it. When I got inside, everyone was there but I went straight up to my room and slammed the door shut behind me. I felt like I was being a bitch but I didn't have it in me to talk to anyone.

I climbed into bed and glanced around the familiar room that I had missed so much when I was locked in that room. I shut my eyes but all I could see was Peter's horrid face. I spent the whole night in agony and that's when I made my mind up to go visit Reece in the morning.

I was being selfish.

I knew that if it was the other way around he would be by my side, yet I couldn't even man up and visit the boy I loved so much.

There, I admitted it.

I was so fucking in love with him.

I woke up to the sun shining brightly into my room. My head hurt and my eyes stung from the amount I cried last night but I quickly wiped them and kicked the covers off me. I glanced at alarm clock and sighed when it read 11am. Visiting hours at the hospital began at 8 and ended at 4 so I would only see him for a few hours.

I opened my closet and pulled out a pair of Nike black joggers and a white hoody to go with it. After being stuck in a tight dress for 4 days and then an itchy hospital gown for another, I just wanted comfort. I threw my hair into a messy bun at the top of my head and pulled my hood up as I opened my bedroom door.

I could hear chatter downstairs as I took a deep breath before emerging out of my room. The house went silent when I began walking downstairs. Different faces stood around in the kitchen as all heads snapped to mine.

Jodie gave me a soft smile which I returned. Next to her stood Cole and Belle. My dad was nowhere to be seen as I entered the kitchen. "Hey guys." I said quietly before I was pulled into a hug by all of them. Cole squeezed me so fucking tight it was nearly painful.

"Can't breathe." I wheezed as I was instantly let go. He gave me a sheepish smile and I chuckled lightly.

"You guys can go home if you want, you don't have to stay here."

Belle shook her head. "Don't be stupid." She replied, hugging me again. I chuckled into the hug as I took a step back.

"Have you seen my dad?" I asked, glancing around the room.

Cole sighed. "He's talking to the police, there's something you should know."

I raised an eyebrow and the three of them shared a look. "The police found him."

My eyes widened. "What?"

I had assumed he got away. Jodie smiled. "They got him Sam, they fucking got him. He's having a trial today." This made me smile. "As they said you're not fit to go to court, your dads filling in for you." I nodded with gratitude.

"The fuckers going away for a long time." Cole hissed, his voice filled with venom.

"I'm sorry for how I acted." I blurted out, feeling instantly guilty for not talking to my friends when they had been nothing but great to me. Jake had filled me in on how nobody had stopped looking for me.

Jodie shook her head. "It's not your fault."

I sighed, taking a seat at the table, specifically not looking at the place where Reece would sit to tutor me. "I want to see him."

They all looked at each other with strange looks on their faces. "Sam I don't know-"

I interrupted Cole. "Please, someone take me to the hospital." I pleaded. I had seen my car outside last night so it must have been returned. I guess they found my bag which I dropped.

Cole nodded, grabbing his keys. "Ok." He breathed. "I'll take you."

I sighed with relief as I smiled at the girls. "I'll be ok I promise." They nodded and gave me another hug before I left my house with Cole.

He took my hand and squeezed it gently, that movement feeling surprisingly very comforting. We walked up to his car in silence before he turned around. I gave him a questioning look as he took a deep breath, a tear then slipped from his eye. "Do you know how much you had us worried? I've never been more scared in my life." He said softly.

I nodded. "All I could think about was you guys."

He smiled at this. Nobody had asked me what it was like and what happened in those 4 days and I was glad. Although Peter had only hit me once, I was lucky that he didn't hurt me again. There was a red mark on my right cheek so it was pretty obvious anyway.

"Come on." He grabbed my hand again and opened the passenger door for me. I climbed in and waited for Cole to start the car. The hospital was only a short drive so before I knew it we had arrived. My heart was racing and I was so fucking frightened to go in.

"Are you sure you're ok to do this?" Cole asked as we approached the front doors of the hospital. My hand was in his for support and I nodded.

"I have to."

We walked in and went straight up to his room as Cole had already visited him so knew exactly where it was. We stopped outside a room and we both turned to face each other.

Cole smiled encouragingly but it didn't reach his eyes. I knew it was hurting him so much as Reece had become a very good friend of his and Jodie's. He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently. "You got this."