"Edie, it's just a plane ride," Isaiah murmured. I tried to ignore him. He wasn't helping.

Just breathe, stupid. You're going to pass out and make yourself look even crazier than you already do. There are not that many people here. They aren't even looking at you.

"We've gone on vacation for two years now on a plane, Eden. Why are you scared?" Zeke sat in front of me with Jenna beside Momma and Papa Winters. They each looked at my tear flooded face with curiosity and concern. I turned so they couldn't see me, embarrassed.

Yeah! Why are you scared now, you big baby?, my mind tried to convince me I was fine.

"Yeah, pumpkin, we're all here to protect you anyway," Joseph consoled and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. I wanted to shake it off but knew it would hurt his feelings.

You don't need people to protect you, anyway. What are you going to do when they aren't here anymore? You can't just freak out because there are too many people in one place, you dumb freak.

"Shut up, guys! All of you! She's not afraid of the plane! Can't you see how many people are here?" Noah pulled me to his side and coached me into taking big breaths.

I tried to breathe evenly. I knew that if I didn't, I could pass out, like that embarrassing time at school last Fall. Shuddering breaths blew out of my mouth in dog-like pants. Tears fell from my eyes like a broken dam. I clung to Noah. But there were too many people at this airport. Too many faces I didn't know with minds I couldn't see into. I couldn't tell if they wanted to hit me. I couldn't tell if their hands could grab me. I couldn't feel if they were kind or hateful.

I didn't know why a panic attack was hitting me now. I never did. But the fear consumed me, making me scared that my new family wouldn't be able to protect me forever. And people were looking. They could see me. They watched me cry and shake and pant, and deep down I knew they were just worried, but my anxious mind saw them as threats.

"Edith," Noah whispered in my ear, quiet enough so that I was the only one that could hear him, "Look at me."

I was ashamed. I looked at my knees pulled close to my chest. Noah put his finger under my chin and pulled it to look at him. I stared into my best friend's eyes and the fear I felt died down. I knew he was there for me. I could see the need to keep me safe in his baby blue eyes.

"These people are doing the same thing you are. They're trying to get on a plane to go somewhere else. They aren't here to hurt you, Ed. Nobody here wants to hurt you." Noah spoke quietly, but his deep voice gave me shivers.

My shoulders relaxed. My breath slowed down. Noah always knew what to say.

"Besides," he continued, pecking my nose. "Why would anybody try to get to you when they'd have to go through all of us?" He had a cocky smile on his face and it made me giggle, the effects of my panic attack only slightly there. Noah made a show of baring his arm muscles.

Noah had taken up football in his middle school years. Turns out, he was really good at it. His brothers also played in high school and had taken it upon themselves to turn him into the "best running back he could possibly be". As such, he had grown in length and width, traits that made him twenty times more attractive to my already enamored brain.

We were in the departure lounge, waiting to board the plane to Hawaii. My foster family sat in a circle, still trying to make sure I felt safe. I was mortified by my panic attack. The Winters knew to just pretend like nothing happened, but I couldn't help feeling like I was ruining the start of their trip just by being there.

Can't you be good for just one day? Can't you try to not freak out every ten seconds? They won't love you forever at this rate. You'll scare them away before long. They'll hate you, just like everybody else.

"Stop," Noah fretted. He pulled me closer to his side, draped his arm around me, and kissed the top of my hair. "I can practically hear the thoughts in that pretty head of yours. We just want you to be happy. If you need to cry every once in a while, we'll wait it out with you."

Momma Winters was smiling warmly at me. She had become the mother I needed since my own was lousy. I had decided there was no need to be formally adopted by her, I'd call her Momma if I wanted to. I was worried about being adopted because of what it would mean for mine and Noah's relationship. Although Noah had never said anything about how he felt for me, Momma knew, and she knew how I felt as well. She had pulled me aside and told me that, no matter what, Noah and I could be whatever we wanted to be, even if she had to clear it with the judge first.

Everyone else had immersed themselves in an exciting game of "I-spy". Noah and I watched, him throwing in guesses every once in a while. Despite my stupid panic attack, I was beyond excited for our trip. It was the third trip I'd be taking with the Winters and the longest travel time. It would take us over nine hours to get there. Noah and I had filled our carry-on bag with entertainment so we wouldn't be bored, but I doubted I could be with this family next to me.

By the time we were finally called to board, I had dozed off on Noah's shoulder. Panic attacks always seemed to take everything out of me. He shook me awake gently and went to board the plane, still holding my hand. Because there were eight of us going, we almost took up three rows in the plane. Our row had Joseph as well. The rest fell in around us.

The trip to Hawaii was nothing short of amazing. It never ceased to amaze me how a plane could take us to a place so far away in less than ten hours. Take-off was rough and I think Noah was a little nervous, but I never was. I had had much worse things to be scared of in my short life. Between card games, reading, and sleeping, I watched the clouds below us, feeling like a bird. I felt like the luckiest girl alive.

❃❃❃

The resort was stunningly beautiful. Everything was so green, so blue, so vibrant. We had three rooms and would be staying for the week. We arrived around ten o'clock that night, so decided to unpack and begin the fun the next morning, even though I was eager to venture out and learn about as much of Hawaii as I could.

I would be sharing the room with Noah and Momma and Papa Winters. Noah and I had been given an embarrassing, very stern talk about sharing a bed. When we were threatened to be grounded if they found us doing things best friends usually don't do, I thought my face would turn permanently red. I'm pretty positive Noah's face matched mine. I was very happy about the sleeping arrangements, though. I was grateful that I had the people that were familiar with my nightmares and knew how to help me through them.

My nightmares were brutal flashbacks of my time with my birth mother, painful memories I desperately wished I could forget. Usually, I'd wake up screaming, drenched in sweat and tears. My foster parents lived down the hall from me and could hear me. Noah, even though he lived upstairs, somehow always knew when I had them and tried to be there when I needed him, even if I pushed him away. He'd stay up for hours with me, talking until I fell asleep again.

We went to bed and Noah and I made sure to keep as far away from each other as we could so we didn't get in trouble. I prayed that my nightmares would stay away for the trip so I wouldn't keep my temporary roommates up.

❃❃❃

I was in a really comfortable position. The air around me was filled with an intoxicating earthy aroma. I could hear shuffling around the room and what sounded like the opening of a door. I snuggled deeper into the pillow that was holding me, determined to fall back asleep, but then I heard the whispers.

"Look how comfortable they are," Ezekiel chortled.

"Maybe we should come back later." Joseph had the right idea. They were being too loud for my taste.

"I think we should definitely wake them up. They look too cozy to me." That deep tone was unmistakably Papa Winters.

"Aaron, they're sleeping! They don't know any better." I could hear Momma's sweet smile in her voice. Although I loved them all, I contemplated throwing a pillow at their heads, but not the one I was currently laying on, it was too warm and cozy.

Finally, the door opened and closed again, and the intrusive whispers dissipated. I allowed myself to fall back asleep.

❃❃❃

"Happy birthday, Eden!" my foster family exclaimed. I jumped awake in a panic but was held down by something heavy.

The first thing I noticed was everyone but Noah crowded around my bed. The next thing I saw was a gigantic pancake stack with whipped cream and candles. Finally, I felt a large arm draped across my stomach. The large arm belonged to a comatose Noah.

My immediate reaction was swoon. But then I saw Papa staring at me with raised eyebrows and my cheeks heated up. Embarrassing. I tried to lift his arms off of me, but he was dead weight.

I tapped on Noah's forehead. His eyes opened and he lazily grinned at me. I thought swoon, again, but then he saw that his entire family was around our bed and he jumped back so fast, he fell off the bed. I laughed so hard, I snorted. Noah got up and flicked my ear. I glared at him, but promptly beamed at my new family.

"You didn't think we'd forget your birthday, Silly!" Momma wrapped her arms around me and I squeezed her back.

"Can't believe you're fourteen!" Jenna hugged me next.

Zeke followed soon after. "Weren't you just, like, seven two weeks ago?" he grumbled.

Isaiah sneakily stole the bottom pancake from the stack and I glowered at him. Joseph slapped the back of his head. He sheepishly put it back on top of the stack, messing up the candles, but I didn't care.

"We've got so many activities planned today, Mini," Papa raved. "We're going to the beach, on a hike, and then back to the beach, and then dinner!" Papa seemed so excited, it was infectious. I jumped out of bed, eager to spend my birthday with my favorite people.