The beach was a strange choice for the early spring.

I mean, the water wasn't warm, not after being cooled by the winter weather for months. The sun wasn't shining. The wind was bracing and icy. The group was shivering and clad in hundreds of jumpers, because the breeze from the sea had cooled the air and sunk into our bones. Callie, somehow, remained committed to the cause, braving the elements to sunbathe on the sand in a skimpy bikini that made her look amazing. Jace was an idiot for not going out with her again. She was also slightly blue, and I wasn't exactly sure how tanned you could actually get on an overcast winter morning.

No one had woken up until lunch time after the late night, and by early afternoon, everyone was ready to explore the little stretch of beach in front of the house. There were no other visitors; most of the folks who owned the houses lived in Metropolitan Melbourne, and drove down in the summer months to use their beach houses. We had the place, for the most part, to ourselves.

A few of the boys had endured the water, splashing around in the knee-high ocean. Alex had tried to go slightly further out, as he had twice already on the trip, with results that would suggest to most that further attempts were misguided. His tormented yells—"my nuts! My beautiful nuts! I think they're gone guys, I seriously think they've committed suicide and shrivelled straight off my body!"—seemed to have warned the other guys off the idea permanently. They were now firmly sticking to non-ball contact depth. Jace, Knight and Alex were flicking water at each other, beers in hand, which I couldn't fathom after the amount of alcohol they'd put away last night, and chatting over the roar of waves as they ebbed and flowed around them.

I sat beneath a large beach umbrella, soaking in the serenity. Jonah and Cady were asleep on the next set of towels, exhausted after the late night, sharing a single pillow, while Chance and Kaelin read their books beside them. Nerds.

Daria, who had been ferrying snacks and drinks out to the boys like the gorgeous human being she was, dropped the empty platter on the mat beside me and sat down. She brushed her hair from her face—the wind had blown it into a small tornado—and smiled at me.

"How do you like your present?" said Daria, looking over at our clusters of friends. I watched as Knight and Alex laughed uproariously at something Jace had said, and the pleased little smile that bloomed on Jace's face for making them laugh. It made me smile too.

I tore my gaze away from the boys and looked at Daria. "It's great," I said. "It was really nice of you to organise it."

"Me? Organise it?" said Daria.

"I just assumed Knight didn't do it all alone," I said, shrugging. "You are, like, the only one of our friends with organisational capacity. I mean, Chance would just get stressed, Jonah would fall asleep, Alex would, like, try to get a penis shaped house, and I can't imagine Cady showing enough interest to help."

Daria shrugged. "Well, it wasn't me."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? You're saying Knight figured this out by himself?" Knight was many things, but an organiser was not one. This was likely due to a lifetime of having access to his family's personal assistant, and never having to do anything for himself save wiping his own ass.

"No, I'm not saying Knight did any of it by himself," said Daria lightly, but she was grinning cheekily. She gave me a mischievous side eye. "I'm just not your only friend with organisational capacity, you know."

I looked down at the water, and I knew exactly who she was talking about. "Jace," I said softly. "He really helped Knight organise all this?"

I mean, it made sense. Of all my friends, the only one Knight properly knew and felt comfortable around was, well, Jace. I could imagine Knight reaching out to Hartley for help. And, to be honest, I could imagine Jace saying yes. For all of his laid-back and easy-going nature, Jace had an attention to detail that meant he was good at organising things.

"Yeah, he did," said Daria. "I mean, you know he would do anything for you. I don't think helping Knight plan a trip for your birthday is exactly out of the realm of possibility."

You know he would do anything for you. While it wasn't a fact I had ever realised, I knew intrinsically that it was true. It was in every smile, every word, every glance. I didn't think it was special; Jace Hartley was the kind of guy who would do anything for anyone. Despite every caustic thought I'd ever had about him; it was undeniable now. Jace Hartley was a good guy. A really good guy.

"I know it isn't," I sighed, burying my face in my knees. "It's just... he's actually a really great guy. A really good friend. I don't know why he never showed me that, over all these years." I looked up and winced at Daria. "I mean, we were really awful to each other."

Daria shrugged. She had a slight frown on her face, as if she was concentrating, picking carefully over her words. "Jace has his reasons. I never really agreed with them, but I also couldn't talk him out of them. He can be stubborn, when it comes to you. You've both always been annoyingly stubborn when it comes to each other. After your accident—" Daria shrugged "—those reasons didn't really matter to him anymore. I mean, he still slipped up, a few times. Habit. But I think, in the grand scheme of things, his excuses for continuing to be your enemy weren't worth it anymore."

"He has reasons?"

"Yeah, he does. Stupid ones," Daria said. "But they were there."

"Wow," I said. I'd always assumed that our feud was feulled by hatred and hatred alone. It didn't seem that Daria thought the same thing. "But, you know," Daria continued, and I could tell she was trying to play her tone off as light and airy, but there was a seriousness lying beneath that her eyes betrayed. "I'm really happy you and Jace are friends now."

"Yeah?" I said, hesitantly. I knew that Daria was happy for us—she had always wanted us to be friends, since Jace was the closest person in the world to her and I had breached that circle more and more throughout high school—but I couldn't find the cause of this seemingly intense undertone to her voice. "I am too."

Because I was. Jace had proven to be kind, and funny, and surprisingly sweet. And I enjoyed his company. I even only considered violence against his person, like, once a week now.

"And I hope you know that despite everyone's jokes about it, and the collective surprise about the—" Daria hesitated "—uh, the thing that is, um, going on between you guys, we are all happy. We're all fine with that. But, um—"

I grinned, shaking my head slightly. "Oh my goodness, Dars. Is this the don't-hurt-him best friend speech? Are you about to threaten my hypothetical nuts if I break his heart?"

Daria laughed. "No, it's not. Although, I mean, if you can... don't. Hurt him, I mean. But I don't think your relationship is really any of my business."

"It's not a relationship," I said automatically, laughing nervously. "So, if not that, what did you want to talk about then?"

"You," said Daria, to my surprise. "I know everything Jace is thinking and feeling. I mean, he tells me almost everything. But I have no idea where you're at. What you're thinking, how you feel." She looked over at me analytically, her gaze open and kind. "I mean, the others have made fun of you, which is pretty customary and mostly warranted."

"I do deserve it," I admitted. "Talking a big hatred game for, what, fifteen years? And then going ahead and making out with him."

"Yeah, look, I don't blame them," Daria admitted. She smiled sweetly, nervously. The afternoon sun was glaring and beating down, and Daria was squinting against the light. She really was the kindest person I knew. "But I thought you might want someone to actually listen. Without making fun of you. If you needed to talk about it." She grinned mischievously. "Your feelings and whatnot."

And... well, I did. The others would only make fun of me, and I couldn't talk to Jace; the only person I had to confide in was Knight, really, and while I loved him dearly, it was always nice to have a girl to talk to. Someone who wouldn't make any boob or fart jokes.

"Thanks, Dars," I said, nudging her shoulder. "I don't know about feelings. I haven't even touched that tangled web. I mean, I'm assuming you know everything that's happened?"

"Yeah," she said quietly. "Jace told me." She was smirking. "The hedges at the wedding? Really?"

"Oh, shush, you. It was not intended to be a location of fraternising. It was supposed to be a location for a little homies hang."

Daria looked sceptical. "And that's why you wanted to be alone; not invite the rest of us?"

"Yes. For an intense... bro down. We'd planned to... have a pillow fight."

"Uh huh," said Daria. She didn't look like she believed me.

"Didn't you promise me a judgement free conversation?"

Daria looked apologetic. "I'm sorry. But, okay, you guys have made out like three times now. What does that mean, exactly?"

I groaned. "I have no idea. Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I have no idea." I looked out at the surf, at the light flickering over Jace's hair, his golden skin, the friendly grin on his face. "We're friends now. I think it's just a bit of fooling around." I stared back at Daria, my gaze moving away from Jace and the wind that ruffled his hair. "You said before that our relationship was none of your business. But we don't have a relationship. We're just friends."

Daria hesitated slightly. She didn't seem like she was ready to say whatever it was that had held her tongue, but after moment, she exhaled sharply and said, "Lena, from an outsider perspective? It doesn't really seem like you guys are just friends anymore. I don't know what you guys have, or what it could be, and I wouldn't tell you if I did know. But I think you might be fooling yourself if you keep trying to deny that you're feeling something." Daria looked over at Jace. "You don't have to say anything to him. And I won't. But maybe you should say something to yourself."

Daria took a deep breath. She looked scared and hesitant, as if she felt she had crossed a line. But I didn't look at her with frustration or anger. Instead, I just considered her. The small nervous divot in her forehead, the cautiousness in her eyes. When she saw my calm and measured curiosity, her lips quirked upwards.

"You say that you don't know what it means. But I don't think it matters what it means in the grand scheme of things. It matters what it means to you. Just be honest with yourself, and consider that it might mean something to you." Daria tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Because from where I'm sitting? It doesn't look like it means nothing."

She didn't wait for me to respond. Instead, she just stood up, grabbing the platter as she unfolded herself to a standing position. "Just think about it, okay?" she said. "I love you, and I just want what's best for you."

My voice was faint. "Thank you, Dars. Breaking up with Nate Lever is a good look on you."

"I know." Her smile was cheeky. "He sucked."

I laughed as she wandered away, moving towards Jonah to wake him up. But her words had given me pause. Was Daria right? Was I lying to myself?

When it came to Jace Hartley, I had clearly lived in a world of blind delusion. I had hated him with a single-minded determination. I had become his friend with no thought to anything else, even as I found myself kissing him again and again, every time we were alone.

I looked out at the water. He was heartbreakingly beautiful; windswept and laughing. The sight of him with Knight made my heart hurt.

But we were just friends. We were. Weren't we?