Neytiri

The heat from the fire is comforting, as is the starry night sky. I can feel the eyes of Cassian's men on me, all watching in concern and something else. I also notice that Caius is tense. Very tense. Like he's afraid of the situation.

I'm sitting near the fire with one of Cassian's robes over me. It's warm. And smells just like him. Caius hands me a cup with warm liquid in it and rubs his hand gently on my back.

"Thank you," I murmur giving him a soft smile.

I immediately shift my gaze back to the ground to avoid the one gaze that is scaring me.

Cassian.

He's sitting across from me, and I know he hasn't taken his eyes off of me. I can feel his gaze but I refuse to meet it in fear of what might happen, or what I might do.

"Leave us," he says. I feel a sense of deja vu hearing those words leave his lips. But I won't tell him that. I am slowly beginning to recall Cassian's presence in my life and I feel like I have to keep that to myself. It frightens me to think what he would do if he found out. Or what it would mean to him. Ulric and Caius bow before leaving the tent, but I immediately notice the hesitation in Caius before he decides to obey Cassian's order.

I keep my eyes down looking at the orange glow that casts over the grass by the fire. Cassian lets out a deep sigh.

"What happened? he asks. I only shrug. The fire itself is comforting, but I'm beginning to grow uncomfortable sitting so close to it.

"So, you somehow magically ended up frozen in the middle of a waterfall," he says. I giggle softly. It sounds funny hearing it come from his lips.

"Are you laughing?" he asks in disbelief. My smile immediately drops. Silence.

"I was just... in the water, and my skin began to feel funny, and the next thing I knew, the water had frozen around me," I say.

I take a deep breath and look up meeting his gaze. Everything I felt that first time comes rushing back to me in alarm. It feels like a punch in my chest. But I swallow my fear and stay brave.

I have to let out a small breath. He's staring at me as if contemplating what to do. His hair is pulled completely back and out of his face, so I can see all of the symbols that adorn the side of his face. He notices the direction of my stare.

He laughs softly shaking his head. The sound carries on the wind, brushing past my ears. He looks at the fire.

"Is the heat making you uncomfortable?" he asks. I look at the fire and back to him.

"Or is it me?" he asks.

His gaze is zeroed in on me, and I can hear the amusement in his tone. He stands up, placing his hand in the flame. I gasp softly expecting it to burn him but it doesn't. The flames wrap around his palm, not hurting him at all. He looks at me.

"I like the fire. It makes me feel good. At home. At peace. It comforts me," he says. He pulls his hand away from the fire holding it up for me to see that no harm has come to him.

"It's a part of me. And, when I feel like I'm losing control on my situation, I look to the flames," he says. He steps in front of me, kneeling so that he is eye level with me. My grip on the mug tightens involuntarily, and my instincts are screaming at me so loud, I'm surprised my ears haven't started bleeding yet.

"You're an Ikniri. Do you know what that is?" he asks. I shake my head unable to form words.

"The Ikniri are one of the Ancients. The first. Powerful beings put here to lead humanity to the light. To help them and protect them... and guide them," he says.

"Your people lived in the mountains. High in the mountains where it snowed and was cold. You only came out when someone was in need. Your people weren't settlers. They never stayed long. They stayed long enough to help," he says.

"Your body is maturing. Your power is evolving, but you know not what to do with it. And, I understand now you're overwhelmed with everything that is going on," he says. He searches my gaze then looks down reaching for the mug in my hands.

"And when your body feels your fear, it manifests your source of comfort or rather, protection." He plucks the mug from my hands showing it to me. There's an icy sheen around it, and the once scalding drink that was in the middle is now frozen solid. I let out a soft gasp.

I did that?

"So, tell me, Neytiri. Why do I frighten you so much?" he asks. He smiles, and the dimple on his left cheek deepens.

"I would never harm you," he says. I feel like I'm about to pass out from the blood rushing through my ears, and the erratic beating of my heart. I can't hone my senses like I did in that dream. For some reason I could ignore the warnings and feel comfort from him then. But now, that doesn't seem like an option.

"What are you?" I ask. My voice comes out barely a whisper. And for the first time, Cassian looks shocked by my question. He blinks, and his gaze narrows. He seems to be contemplating his answer.

"Tell me, what do you see when you look at me?" he asks. My eyes widen, and I look away.

"I see... that you are a threat," I say. He's quiet as he places his hand in mine. I take note that this hand has a burn on it. But from what I don't know.

"Do you think I'm a threat, Neytiri?" he asks.

"Have I done anything to harm you?" I shake my head. He places his finger under my chin, lifting my gaze to meet his.

"Then how can you say that?" He almost sounds hurt. Almost.

"I..." I trail off not knowing what to say.

I feel guilt for saying those words to him. He's right. He hasn't done anything to harm me, or anyone around me for that matter. He killed Loris and his friends for me, he took me in not as a prisoner, but as a guest. And he's taken care of me every day since.

"I can see it in your eyes... you're beginning to remember," he says. My eyes widen, but I can't look away. He tilts his head.

"You know that I've known you for a very long time," he says. He reaches out, running his finger along my face, tracing the symbol that is there.

"I gave you this a long time ago. The day we met in fact," he says.

"So that anyone that came into contact with you would see it and know not to touch you. They would know you have my protection." His hand drops, and he looks around. He stands, pulling me towards his tent. The tent from my dream. And no matter how many times I ran through the opening, he would always stop what he was doing to see what it was that was wrong with me.

There's a thick palette of blankets in the corner, and he pulls me down on top of them. They're so soft that I can feel myself sinking a little. He takes a seat in front of me, keeping our gazes locked as he gently places my hand in his. I feel my heart pounding against my chest and I want to pull away from the contact, but I force myself to remain still as his dark gaze roams my face.

"No more secrets," he says softly as he gently caresses the side of my face with his hand. I watch him in shock soaking in what he's saying to me. My trust really means that much to him.

"You were only a child when we first met. You were wounded, scraped up, and bloodied." His eyes lift to my forehead where he gently places his thumb, running it back and forth.

"You had a nasty gash on your somehow wandered out of the forests and into the edge of my camp. My men found you." He smiles softly as if remembering.

"Naturally, my plan was to kill you. You all should've been dead... but when I asked where you came from, you refused to tell me. I didn't know if it was stupidity or if you were a mute. But when you finally spoke, you begged me bot to end your life. And that's when I realized it was bravery."

"To this day, I don't know why I spared your life that day. I took you into my camp and healed you, giving you my mark. At the time it was meaningless. Only those of old knew what it meant and at this point, only a handful exist on either side. But now, it is what has kept you safe your whole life. Because my mark is law," he says. I listen intently.

"I tracked your village the same day and I left you there expecting to never see you again until you somehow showed up in my camp again." He laughs, and I feel my fear of him slowly melting away. His usual stoic expression melts, a gentle one replacing it.

"I wish I could have captured the look on Ulric's face when you demanded to see me," he says.

"I had to order the men to stop capturing you each time you came, and eventually it became normal for you to show up in my camp... no matter where we were."

He looks at me.

"You were so eager to spend your days with us even though we..." He trails off but I immediately think back to what Caius said.

"As eager as ever. "

"How long did this go on?" I ask. Cassian's smile drops.

"Nine years," he says. I blink in confusion.

"That's impossible," I whisper. I distinctly remember my life, and Cassian wasn't in any of it. Even when I woke up from running from the villagers, I remember nothing other than Gran finding me and this symbol on my face.

"Why don't I remember any of it?" I ask.

"There was a huge war going on at the time. You never knew because the village you lived in was so deep in the forests. Those forests are considered forbidden on account of the types of people that live in them. So, the world never reached your village."

He lets out a deep sigh.

"But eventually I had to leave, as did my camp. And you were so set on coming with me every time. So, I did what I had to. I erased your memories and replaced them," he says.

I look at him in horror. It makes sense now what Rykun said about me being tampered with.

"How did Rykun know?" I ask. Cassian looks surprised by my question.

"Rykun is Xavien' s... subordinate. He can sense things," is all he says. I stand up from my seat, glaring at him.

"You tampered with my memories? How much of it is fake?" I ask. I feel tears burning my eyes. He shakes his head, standing with me.

"You misunderstand, Neytiri. I only removed myself from them," he says. I shake my head turning my back to him.

"Neytiri..." he says. I feel his hands around my shoulders as he stands behind me. I'm shaking from his touch. He places a soft kiss along the base of my throat.

"I would never hurt you," he says. He stands tall and moves away from me.

"Caius," he calls out. After a moment Caius enters the tent, his gaze shifting between us.

"Escort Neytiri back to her tent," he says. "I think that's enough stories for tonight," he says walking to the table with different papers on it. Caius bows slightly, watching Cassian with a strange expression before escorting me out of the tent.

The next few days are torture. I do everything I can to avoid Cassian, and for good reason.

I'm upset. He lied to me and kept things from me about my past, things that he altered. It makes me skeptical about what is true and what is a lie. He seems to have an ulterior motive here, but I don't know what it could be.

On the sixth day, we stop at a riverside to feed and rest the horses, as well as the men. As I look around, I take in faces that I do not know but judging by their expressions they all know me. My search pauses at the edge of the river when I see Caius sharpening his blade. When I look for Cassian, I notice he's near the horses speaking to Ulric. So, I make my way to the river. When I reach Caius I suddenly feel at a loss for words but he doesn't miss beat.

"You seem down," he says without looking up. I silently take a seat next to him pulling my knees to my chest as I mentally decide what to say.

"I know about my past," I say. He stops what he is doing searching my expression.

"I thought you'd be thrilled," he says. I shrug.

"It's just upsetting knowing a large chunk of my life is missing because Cassian took it from me. It's cruel," I say.

He's quiet for a moment.

"Cassian did what he did to protect you. He's always had your best interest at heart. The people that took you in were the cruel ones. I can't count the many times you came into our camp crying because of them."

He gently places his hand on my shoulder giving me a smile.

"I couldn't imagine ow devastated you would have been knowing your only source of happiness was gone. You have to give Cassian some credit. I don't think he could face knowing how upset you would be when you could no longer reach us," he says looking back to where Cassian stands. I follow his gaze to see Cassian still speaking to Ulric. He looks out of place in this light, the green grass and trees surrounding him.

I nod my head looking back at Caius.

"I guess you're right," I murmur, "but why did he never come back for me after he conquered the kingdom?" I ask.

Caius's expression grows distant and his hand slowly falls from my shoulder as he goes back to sharpening his blade.

"That is something you will have to ask Cassian yourself."

We finally reach the castle, and are once again greeted by the entire castle staff, including the old king that is simply a figurehead now. He's an older man, with jewels adorning his body. Cassian is led into the castle, and Caius and I follow closely behind.

"I'm sure the Ikniri is tired after the long trip. I will have some servants come to your quarters to clean you up," he says barely glancing in my direction. Cassian doesn't even look back as he switches languages, speaking in a foreign tongue that I am unfamiliar with.

"Follow me," Caius says gently as he pulls me away.

After the servants have washed and clothed me in another god-awful dress, I am free to roam the halls. But Caius is once again close behind me.

"How long are we going to be here?" I ask.

"Long enough for Cassian to ensure his ally," Caius answers. I look at the walls that are adorned with portraits of this king and his family. He has a son and a daughter, and a lovely wife. I focus on the painting for a long time before looking at Caius.

"Why would he just give up his kingdom?" I ask. I look at Caius and he has a grim expression on his face.

"He didn't have a choice," Caius says. I stop in my tracks, looking at him in confusion.

"What do you mean?" I ask. He fidgets a little, as if he doesn't want to answer me.

"They don't call him the "Blood King" for nothing," he says. My eyes widen.

"Did you think the previous ruler before Cassian relinquished his hold? He tried to fight. And, it cost him his guard, his kingdom, and his life. Cassian isn't someone to cross. Or oppose. Ever." I look at Caius in horror.

"That's what kings do, Neytiri. They conquer lands and take kingdoms," he says. I shake my head.

"So, who is Cassian the king of?" I ask.

"Why all those years ago was he set up in a war camp, instead of a kingdom?" I ask. Caius stares at me for a moment and looks away.

"That's something to ask him, Neytiri," he says. "It's not my story to tell."

Caius looks torn. Like he wants to tell me but something is holding him back.

"What did you mean the other night by Cassian having his fill?" I ask. Caius looks up. He studies me. Really studies me. And, I see a moment of weakness in his eyes before he covers it up.

"I was just being paranoid. I'm sorry if I worried you," he says. He doesn't even give me a chance to respond before he's walking away from me, leaving me alone in the hall.