We have been home a week and mav and the babies are doing great. We have tried to be as normal as possible with all the crazieness.

I feed, hold one of the three kids no joke I'm always holding a baby but I love it, I change diapers and feed then is my day I swear and worrie about Stacey if it wasn't for Kingston s mom and mine I wouldn't make it.

Sadly Kingston has started his pre-season so he's been busy. we are looking at buying a house closer we have three to look at and I don't think in can leave until Stacey is found, I just pray she is alive every second I pray.

Maverick starts his week long chemo treatment next week so this week we are having a birthday party for him his birthday has passed but Kingston thinks it would be a good idea to do it at home and I agree.

Hen Kingston finally told me about my car and my missing best friend I've been out every day looking for her I go back to that scene every day just in hopes that something makes since I'm so lost without her.

I call her phone everyday but it always goes to voicemail I've left so many messages her phone won't hold anymore, the police are doing what they can but wont tell us much.

Cannon is a mess I'm worried about him. I make my way to the place they found my car and there he sits. He looks up as I approach "I love her so much" he cries "I know me too." I always knew he loved her but I just didn't realize how much.

we sit in silence for a while before he gets up dust his pants off. "You get home shouldn't be sitting here it's not the safest place and if Kingston knew" he shakes his head, leading me to my car. "Where you going? You just going to sit here all day" I ask.

"I can't sit here and not do shit Ayda, I'm following these tracks, I'll follow all of these tracks until I find somethig or nothing, fuck what the police say I don't care if it's private property" he says shrugging his shoulders.

I look at the tracks I guess I put too much faith in the police. Cannon said he feels pulled in that direction. nothing makes since but it's private property. They say it's been scanned and nothing appears out of the ordinary.

My brother was livit when he couldn't look for himself cops say they don't believe it involves the land. The entire thing has been a mess and a bundle of emotions.

I watch him walk the trail, I watch till he is no longer in sight, I start my car and head home