♡

The sun's lowering, the clock's ticking, the moon is sure to rise any second now, and my heartbeat has yet to slow down. Kneeling on my bed, my white hair thrown up in a haphazard bun that resembles a blizzard of sorts, I nearly rip apart my duffel bag.

My lips once glossy and pink have turned into an angry cherry red from my constant biting of them. The sharpness of my canines almost tore into the plush skin, but I can't find it in myself to care. Not now.

Not when I can't find my diary!!

If I didn't open the windows of my balcony to let in some of the fresh sea breeze earlier, I'm positive I would be sweating by now. My body feels hot, the sound of my heartbeat thumps against my earbuds, the world around me begins to blur-

Oh, am I crying again?

I suck it up, gulping down a wave of fresh tears as I force myself to move on and dig through my duffel bag in search of the diary. It's a lost battle I refuse to back down from, I know it isn't here.

I know it's on the plush pink sofa right in the middle of my closet, I know it's still open, and I know my mom saw what was inside. I know from the dozens upon dozens, maybe even hundreds of missed calls from my mother.

Every once in a while, my phone still lights up with her name on the screen. I wince every time, my mind running a mile a minute as I hastily pick up the device, a beaded charm with a sparkly star on the end dangling around as I press the red circle and hope that she'd try to stop calling for now.

Guilt eats up at my soul, kicking and screaming at me everytime my manicured finger lands on the 'decline call' option.

I hate it, I hate myself for doing this. Why am I so scared?! I want to answer the phone and tell her everything, to cry to her and hear her comfort me. I desperately want to hear her voice, almost to a selfish extent.

But, I wouldn't be able to live with myself If I threw all of this on my mom.

I love her too much to put such a burden on her...

There's a slight tremor to my hands, I notice only when the screen of my phone lights up once more with my mothers face on the screen. I bite back a sigh, a tired, terribly anxious sigh, and press on the red button once more.

The screen then reverts to my homepage, showing a picture of me and Runa taken weeks ago while on our vacation with auntie Tsunade.

It was our auntie who took the picture, and it's my absolute favorite. The two of us were wearing Kimonos and holding hands, enjoying the festivities that were taking place in the land of lightning during their annual summer nights firework festival.

The screen then dims from the lack of contact, ultimately turning black as I stare at it.

I groan out loud, shutting my eyes and falling back flatly on the soft mattress. Tugging my bottom lip between my teeth once more, ignoring the pinching feeling of my canines scraping against the reddened skin no matter how much it hurts.

Tears of frustration begin to prick at the corner of my eyes and I sigh, bringing up my hands and rubbing at them in hopes of putting a stop to the clear upcoming crying session my body is warning me of.

And to think, this all started hours ago!

The sound of crashing waves accompanied by pens and pencils hitting sketchbook paper fill the void of quietness in my room. My mind has drifted to the baby blue skies and soft yellow clouds as I gently tug at the petals of a daisy I created from the palm of my hand, enjoying the serenity that came with being by Inojin's side.

He's sitting on the couch of this suite my mother specifically requested for me and my siblings, looking out at the ocean as he scribbles sketches onto the blank parchment on his lap.

I on the other hand, well I just have my own hobbies to tend to!

He loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not- Loves me!

"Inojin look, he loves me!!" I squeal excitedly, jumping up from my bed and prancing over to the blonde with flushed cheeks and a sparkle in my eye. The white petals of the daisy I was just plucking float all around me, falling to the ground gently as I excitedly show him the remnants of the flower's yellow center.

Inojin quirked a brow when his eyes landed on the flower, only to snort when he caught sight of the floating petals around me. "Aren't you a little too old to be putting fate in the hands of some random flower?"

I gasp, horrified at his insinuation, "No! My flowers never lie to me y'know! And we'll never be too old for dreaming about true love!"

"You mean you'll never be too old. I've never dreamt about it, ever." He comments as if he was pondering, tapping at his chin with the eraser at the end of his pencil and looking off to the side curiously.

I huff at his words. With a quick and simple hand sign, I open my palm and allow yet another daisy to bloom from my hand. The old one sinks back into my skin, to be bloomed someday at another time, "Inojin, everyone dreams of their true love at least once! What's life like without those dreams? I can't imagine a world without them!"

Inojin doesn't take me very seriously, instead flashing me with that amused smile of his. "Oh really? Who's yours then huh? Boruto?"

Automatically, my face begins to feel warm at the mention of the blonde I've been pinning over for years now. "Boruto's different." I mumble, almost embarrassed to be saying such things out loud.

"I've actually never dreamt of him before." I admit, feeling a small sense of confusion from the realization. I've been fond of Boruto ever since the day we met, felt butterflies in my stomach whenever he was around, spent countless hours daydreaming over him, wishing that one day we'd become closer.

And yet, he's never been the one accompanying me whenever the moon would rise and it was time to truly dream. It was always someone else. Always him.

I glance down at the flower in my hand, stumped.

The boy of my dreams...

"Huh, is your true love some random guy who's name you don't even know then?" Inojin's oozing with sarcasm at the mention of this 'true love' nonsense, and I find myself growing defensive.

"No! His name is , and he's handsome and he makes my heart flutter and he doesn't smile much but I bet his smile is perfect and has the prettiest silver eyes I've ever seen and-"

I pause, my voice lodging in my throat with no way out.

Kawaki?

I stop and turn to Inojin, entirely bewildered by the name that just spilled out of my lips. He seems confused by my sudden muted state, sitting up with raised brows as I mentally decipher just that name flew from my lips with zero thought put into it.

I watch in confusion as Inojin's mouth moves, as if he's telling me something. I don't hear him, a high pitched noise drowning out the calming waves outside and sending chills down my back, filling my ears and turning my world upside down in a matter of seconds.

My eyes begin to blur for a moment, not with tears, but instead with this indescribable haziness that sends me into a state of panic. My heartbeat falters for a fraction of a second, feeling faint, I nearly drop to the ground at the high strung feeling, but it's a fleeting sensation and I quickly manage to compose myself.

"His name is Kawaki? Who the hell is that? I've never met a guy with that name before." Sound is the first of my five senses to return as I could now hear Inojin's voice again. I don't process his words however, almost overwhelmed with all of the thoughts flowing through my head.

Kawaki?! How did that name just come out of me like that?!

Wait wait wait, I need to write down this name before I might forget it! This might mean something!

"I don't- I don't know! Where's my diary?!" I immediately scramble away to look for the book, heart beginning to race as I fall to my knees on the hardwood grounds and search through my duffel.

I can't believe it! Is fate telling me something?! Maybe he's truly real, maybe he's really a boy named Kawaki and not just some figment of my imagination!

My heart flutters with excitement at the mere thought of it, ignoring the ominous undertones of the way my vision blurred, my heart froze, and my ears nearly bled just a few moments ago when the name appeared within my bubbles of thoughts.

My soul, truly blindsighted by the tiny light within the darkness, clings onto that fleeting hope that comes with possibly having a name, his name.

Ironically, all thoughts of Boruto from the previous conversation have been scrapped, completely torn to shreds as I dig through my clothes. My head and heart are both full of this boy, apparently named Kawaki as I rush to find my diary and write this down.

As of late, writing in my diary has been no fun task. It's been a place where I write down the events of my recent nightmares, the dreams that have been keeping me up at night and had me crying into my favorite teddy bear- The one my father gave me, of course.

But now, I have something much happier to squeal about on the pastel pink pages with my sparkly gel pens and color coordinated sticky notes, His name!! The way it just came out of the blue for me, as if I've known it all along, it's truly fate speaking to me!!

I smile a bit as I rummage around, gently setting aside Runa's bag as I start taking out some of my items and placing them on the floor. A girlish giddiness causing small hearts and sparkles to float all around me at the mere thought of him, Kawaki, all negativity has been wiped from my mind. No nightmares, no near fainting, nothing except him!!

Training and mission sandals? Check.

Cute sandals with the little bedazzled butterflies that definitely aren't meant for training? Check.

Color coordinated silky pj sets? Check.

My Training and missions outfit? Check.

My cute summer dresses? Check.

Pink cupcake scented perfume? Check.

As I start to set aside various items in my purse reaching the bottom of the bag with no sight of my diary, I slowly feel the small glimmer of excitement stored in my chest dim.

Not one to lose hope so quickly, I falter slightly and continue to dig around all the nooks and extra pockets on my bag, even going as far as re-searching through the items I've taken out to make sure I didn't somehow miss the journal.

I repeat the process over and over again, simply refusing to see the truth that was laid out right in front of me.

I forgot my diary, my lifeline at home!!

No, there's absolutely no way!

My diary is too important to be left at home! It's where I could safely detail the events of my vivid dreams without worrying anybody, it's where I could gush over that boy- Kawaki? Without bothering others, it's where I could take notes and jot down the small things that catch my eyes in dreams,

That diary is everything to me!!

I simply can't believe it, this is almost as bad as me leaving my father's stuffed teddy bear behind! Immediately, I glance up at my bed and let out a sigh of relief when I see the plushie perched in the center of the queen sized bed.

That would've been an absolute nightmare!

Inojin would be blind not to notice my distress here on the ground, and before I even know it he's putting down his sketchbook and walking over to me, kneeling by my side and eyeing my now messy bag curiously.

"What's going on? Who's Kawaki and what are you looking for?" He asked, now truly concerned as he watched my face closely for reactions. "I think I left my diary at home." I admit, mentally re-tracing my steps from the last few days in an attempt to figure out just how I let this happen.

"Is it really that big of a deal? All I ever see you do in there is doodle hearts around Boruto's name-"

"First of all I doodle your name with hearts too! And Mitsuki's! I even draw little snakes for him! And second of all It is that big of a deal! Just- Don't worry about it." I sigh, ready to panic and blurt out everything to Inojin, but not wanting to add my stress on anyone else at the same time.

"Hey maybe you didn't leave it at home, I'll help you look." Inojin sighed, hating the way my eyes subtly glossed over. I nod, feeling a little better now with his support. Maybe I'm reacting too soon, maybe it's just somewhere between my giant comforter or stuffed between the cushions of the couch Inojin was sitting on!

Suddenly, a low 'ping!' noise catches both of our attention. I quickly turn my head to my phone. I smile a bit when my mom's name pops up on my screen.

I know it was hard for her to let us go on this field trip, she's protective and for good reason, so with a lifted spirit I click on her message and quickly intend to update her and tell her that everything's alright.

'Haruki baby, we need to talk. I'm with your father and he wants to speak to you too. Call me back or at least answer please,"

My intuition has always been pretty good for someone whose head is always in the clouds, even I could admit I might look ditzy to most people. But truly, my gut instincts never failed me, a trait my mom always claims I got from her. And right now is no different.

I know, I just know what this is about. She must've found my diary.

Immediately, I drop my device on top of the pile of clothes below me, muffling the clattering noise but not doing anything to mask the immediate horror on my face. Panic fills my veins, and I turn to Inojin with widened eyes.

"L-let's look for that diary another time, please?" Maybe if I just pretend like the cold hard truth isn't right in front of me, It'll feel like it isn't there!

Inojin was forced to leave a short while later due to curfew hours enforced on us by faculty, leaving me to deflect my mother's frantic calls and look around for my diary on my own.

Why was I still trying?! I know it isn't here!

I groan out loud in frustration with myself, staring up at the ceiling in defeat as the buzzing noises of my mom's calls play out in the background.

I'm a really, really bad daughter, aren't I?

My eyes glaze over at the thought. I've always tried to be so good for my mom, I love her and my siblings so much I've always wanted them to be happy and live as freely as they could. But I hold myself back like this, I mess up terribly and now look at me! She must be so worried, and I don't have the courage to talk to her right now.

I'm selfish, and terrible, and-

"Haruki?" I freeze, putting my thoughts on hold and sitting up to the sight of my brother and sister standing at the door staring right at me. Subtly, my heart races.

Oh no, did I mess up again?! Did they notice I was about to cry?! I cringe internally at the thought, Runa always has so much going on for herself the last thing I want to do is add onto any of that, and Masahiko isn't one for dealing with such outward emotions, I don't want to burden him at all!

"Ugh good thing you're already here! I'm dying to get in bed!" Runa snorts, picking up her hair in a big bun as she walks over to our bags and rummages through her purple duffel, picking out a set of PJ's to wear after she showers.

I physically tense when her eyes land on my duffel, worried that she'll ask me why I've made such a mess of it as it's so out of my character to do so. I'm a terrible liar, Runa would be able to tell whether or not I'm being truthful in a heartbeat!

It's clear I'm being paranoid though, as luckily for me, Runa isn't the type of person to necessarily...Notice things about me.

And Thank god she doesn't notice this either.

Instead, she rushes into our shared bathroom as Masahiko quietly takes a seat on the couch and waits for his turn to shower. I bite at my inner cheek in worry however, when he not so discreetly eyes the piled up clothes with arched brows.

Unluckily for me, Masahiko Is exactly the type to notice just about every single little thing. And this time's no different.

It was Midnight. Haruki couldn't sleep.

Alone on the cruise ship's deck, chin perched on her palm as she leaned against the sturdy railways protecting her from the vast ocean below, Haruki's curious eyes were locked onto the realm above her. Eyeing the flickering stars in the sky, a wave of loneliness wracked through her body, paralleled to the natural waves in the deep water.

Without thinking much about it, her hand reached out towards the sky, grasping at nothing in the process. A gentle sigh left her pink lips as she dropped her hand, letting it rest against the railing in defeat.

If he was truly in this world, if Kawaki was truly not a wondrous dream, she wondered if they'd shared the sight of the same starry nights.

The moon's iridescent light danced against her snowy white hair, glowed once in contact with her milky skin, twinkled against her eyes like diamonds, and glittered against the blue hues of the darkened seas.

Mystery lurked beneath the surface, what sort of creatures could be hidden down under? Her head tilted at the thought, wisps of hair swaying gently to the side as the ocean breeze flowed through the long locks.

A mirthful glint appeared in her gaze, prompting her to stand up straight from the railing. All of the stress and anxiety from earlier piling up on her at once, only to be released at this very moment.

Her hands then slowly clasped together, and her whispered voice was lost against the sound of wind chiming through the air. Whispered or not, her words held power, and it showed in the way massive spheres and other worldly shapes of waters rose from the ocean and into the air.

As if she was possessed by the spirit of a water sprite, she used her chakra to hop onto the steel bars, standing on top of the railings like she owned the sea; enjoying the feeling of the water droplets twisting and twirling all around her at her whim.

She wasn't thinking, instead just emoting as she gracefully dashed from the railing onto the thin air; her long locks of hair floating behind her as she made the brave jump from sky scraping boat to the large masses of water she raised from the ocean.

She landed with ease, no longer on the ship as she raised her arms and toyed with the water surrounding her. The ocean below mysteriously mellowed, as if it knew to keep her safe in her perilous actions. Haruki paused, tilting her head up towards the sky with an innocent air of curiosity. Then, amusement tugged at her heart.

The oceans' waves are controlled by the moon, so maybe it isn't just some mysterious ocean spirit that helped her out, maybe the moon was the true hero!