This person wants to let go of their crush.

Hey!

I want you to know that it’s absolutely not your fault for liking the boy; there’s nothing you could’ve done when you started to like him. It’s never a choice to like someone. However, there is always a choice on whether you act upon your feelings to date or not to date.

If the boy already likes your friend, I am sorry to say that you have no chance, which is why you should already prepare to distance yourself from him. Don’t let a boy be the reason for you and your friend’s parting. It might be hard but you can hang out with your friend even without the boy being mentioned. It’ll be hard, but you’ll have to act like the way you used to before you met the boy. If it’s hard to give up on the crush, find yourself a new hobby or distraction that can distract your interest of love life to yourself. Do something that makes you happy rather than just focusing on your romance for now. It should be easier to give up if you distance yourself from the boy completely for a while.

If you think your friend is holding back because of you, you need to think about what you want first. Do you want them to date? Even if you don’t, they like each other anyhow, so you’ll have to manage your feelings for the boy before that happens. So, if you think you want your friend to be happy, then have a good talk with her and tell her that you’ll try your best to get over the boy. That maybe you can’t exactly be happy for the relationship but you’ll support your friend’s happiness no matter what. Have a good talk—you and your friend require that. It’s okay to not support their relationship, their happiness or even feel a little envious of them; those are normal emotions but you’ll have to let go of them.

Sometimes it’ll take months for you to let go, months of distraction, months of distancing yourself, months of focusing on yourself. But it’ll be alright in the end, as you’ll find someone new if you want or even better, you’ll find yourself and focus on bettering yourself. I hope you find the courage to let go because this will only hurt you more if you hold on.

I hope you can genuinely find happiness in yourself first.

Thank you,

The Advice Column Team