This person feels numb.

Hello,

I'm sorry to hear how you've been feeling. That's certainly not an easy thing to deal with. I do feel it is important to note that while it is not fun, it is not uncommon especially among this generation. You're not alone in this. There are many others feeling something just like what you are. Sometimes we can find some sense of solidarity in that.

Now, let's start brainstorming how to help you manage it. One of the biggest issues with something like this is that while you want to feel better, you don't have the motivation to do much about it. That is very difficult, and it can lead to a lot of negative thoughts that won't help you. The best thing you can do here is redirect those thoughts. When you hear "I don't deserve..." sternly redirect to something like "I don't get to determine what I deserve, but I am blessed with what I have." When you hear "I'm unworthy of space," redirect to "my life is worth just as much as anyone else's. The space I take is the space I claim." It will probably sound forced even to you in the beginning, but this exercise is more about shifting and growing your mindset over time. It is not an immediate change, and you can't expect it to be, but it is an important one. I personally have found that it help me to think of my negative or intrusive thoughts as someone outside of myself, and when I redirect the conversation, I am confronting and disciplining the little person saying stupid things about me.

Next, a good way to help alleviate your other symptoms (i.e. feeling sad, unmotivated, etc.) is exercise. It sounds cliche, I know, but it really does help. Find something that gets you out and active. I took up martial arts for example. Others have taken up walking, cycling, running, swimming, and other cardio activities that'll get your heart pumping, your blood rushing, and probably a good deal of sweat. What this does is it 1) gets you out of the house, 2) helps to regularize your habits and get into a routine, 3) can help improve eating habits, and 4) exercise is proposed to be able to trigger a release of dopamine and serotonin (the happy chemicals) that boost your mood! The key here is keeping up with it. Going for a walk once every two weeks isn't really going to do much in the long run. That's why it's important to make it part if your routine. Add it to your schedule before you work on homework, or before/after you get home from work/school, or anywhere when you know you'll be able to do it. And you may have to force yourself sometimes. It's not always appealing, but it is good and it will help you to feel happier and even healthier. And the longer you do, the more solid it becomes in your routine, the easier it will become, and the better you'll enjoy it if it wasn't something you initially loved.

I hope this helps, hun. We are certainly rooting for you. And if you ever need or want more advice, we are happy to help.

Stay strong,

The Advice Column Team