This person is having trouble with self-image.

Hello,

In times of stress or uncertainty, most people choose to reminisce in the past when things seemed better. It's a way to avoid what we're feeling in the moment by falling back on feelings of the past. In tough times, those memories can sustain us, but they can also shackle us. When you spend all your mental energy in the past, you are not really living in the present. One thing I've learned is that you are always potentially in your next "good old days." It's not something that stays stagnant or never changes. You have a whole future ahead of you, and a whole life in the present. Don't live in the past. Remember it, and learn from it, but time has already moved past it. Remeber to live when you are, just as much as you look forward to what's next, and as much as you remember what's behind you.

As for your self perception, it sounds to me like you have a rather low idea of yourself. There is a difference between not caring what other people think of how you look because you are confident, and not caring what other people think you of how you look because you don't like it either. Now, I could be completely off base, but that would explain why you feel self conscious around people who knew you when you were younger. If you think you looked cuter as an elementary school kid then you could be projecting that belief into other people who knew you then whether or not they actually believe it themselves. I suggest taking some time to think on that. Figure out what YOU feel about YOURSELF, and then trace the lines to what you think OTHERS might think about you. Ultimately dear, this is a covert battle within you. Confidence doesn't come from "not caring what other people think." That comes from being confident in yourself. You have to know your worth, and defend that, sometimes from yourself.

I hope this helps, love. I wish you the best at school, and come back again for more advice any time!

Stay strong,

The Advice Column Team